Ranma 1/2 is the sole property of Rumiko Takahashi and all of the
companies which have licensed it.

Alternatives

------------------------------------------------------------------------
---

     Ranma lay on his futon resting.  It was Sunday and he looked
forward to sleeping in and relaxing.  Truth be told, he was still
feeling a little queasy from Akane's attempt at cooking the previous
night.  The curry had been okay, but her dessert, whatever it had been,
simply overwhelmed his stomach with its sweetness.  The pig-tailed boy
groaned as he remembered its taste.

     "Ranma, you're pathetic!"  Genma stood over him.  "It's time to
spar and just because you don't feel that good is no excuse to slack
off.  You've never seen me slack off just because of a stomachache have
you?"  He paused, pointing at his son, "A true Martial Artist should
have no weaknesses.  I haven't trained you for ten years just to lie in
bed!  Get up!"

     Cracking one eye open, Ranma looked at his father, "I didn't see
you eating anything other than curry last night.  If you're so great,
how come you didn't eat everything?"

     With an amused grin, The older man boasted, "One of the tenets of
war is to know your enemy.  I allowed you, foolish boy that you are, to
test each dish.  That is why my eyes are clear and body untroubled."

     Sitting up with a groan, Ranma glared at his father, "Actually,
Pops, I thought you were afraid to eat any of it."

     "Humph," the older man grabbed his son and threw him out the open
window.  "We have no time for this."  He jumped out behind the
pig-tailed boy, ready to fight.

     Rolling as he landed, Ranma quickly moved into a defensive position
as he scanned for his father.  The boy stood next to the boulder beside
the koi pond.  Seeing Genma landing lightly underneath their window, the
young martial artist relaxed slightly.

     "Listen, I already told ya.  I don't want to fight this morning."
Ranma said with rising anger in his voice.  "But seeing as I'm up, I'll
be happy to trash you."  He cracked his knuckles in preparation.

     The two stood.  Each waited for the other to attack.  After about a
minute, Genma could not stand it any longer and jumped forward in a
flying kick towards his son.

     Waiting for his father to close, Ranma rolled under the kick,
preparing to help his opponent into the pond behind him.  He was
surprised when Genma grabbed his foot and levered himself into the boy's
stomach.  Already weakened by the previous night's abuse, it rippled in
a spasm, weakening the pig-tailed boy.

     Sensing the opportunity, Genma immediately began attacking Ranma's
torso.  His son, slowed, resorted to blocking all of his father's
attacks.  They were stalemated until a sweet voice called out.

     "Ranma?  Mr. Saotome?  Breakfast is ready, if you want some."
Kasumi returned to the house, preparing to serve her charges.

     Hearing her words, Ranma backed off from his father, bowed, and
began running into the house.  Not paying much attention, Ranma came
within reach of the elder Saotome.  Sunlight glistened off the other
man's glasses as he smiled in anticipation.  Never one to look a gift
horse in the mouth, Genma grabbed his son, throwing him into the pond.

     "Hey!  Old man, the fight was over!  Why did you do that for?"  The
now sodden girl yelled at her gloating father.

     "Ranma, never let your guard down until you know your opponent has
stopped fighting."  Starting to laugh, Genma chortled, "Besides, boy,
when you are a girl, you eat less food, leaving more for me!  Ha, ha."
He turned away leaving his son to climb out of the pond on her own.

     Furious, Ranma jumped from the pond and attacked the bespectacled
man.  She flew over his head and twisted in mid-air catching her father
in the mouth with a kick.

     "Stupid old man."  The wet girl grumbled.

     As Genma tried to regain his balance, Ranma grabbed her father by
his gi and threw him into the koi pond.

     "Ha, Ha yourself pop!"  She stood glaring at him with her hands
clenched at her side.  "Would you like some nice bamboo for breakfast?"
She bowed towards the panda, but remained in a defensive stance until
the panda returned the gesture.  Seeing the end of the morning's
festivities, she headed towards the Tendo porch where she saw Kasumi
again coming out.

     "Ranma, show your father where the water is when he gets back from
the pond.  Thanks." Kasumi said as she put down two pots of hot water on
the edge of the porch.

     A little later, as breakfast wound down, Soun leaned back and
asked, "So, what are all of your plans for the day, eh? It's supposed to
be a beautiful day today."  Leaning forward with the gleam in his eye
that a snake gets as it looks at its prey, he winked at Ranma and said,
"If I were a young man with a fiancee, I think I would ask her to go out
on a picnic."  He turned to his old friend.  "What do you think, Genma?"

     Leaning back with a sated expression, Genma wistfully reminisced,
"Ah, the wonderful days of my youth, when I wooed many young women.
Capital idea, Soun."

     Feeling trapped by the simple machinations of the two fathers,
Ranma blustered, "NO WAY I'm going to take that macho chick out on a
picnic!"

     "Who said I wanted to go out with you?"  Akane said in angry
reaction to Ranma's words.

     "Anyways, I got some plans for today," Ranma had figured his way
out of the snare Soun placed him in.  He calmly continued, "And they
don't include any fiancee's."

     "Fine, Ranma, I've got plans, too" Akane replied.

     "So, Akane, what are you going to do today?" Kasumi asked with a
grin.

     "I'm going to go jogging and then work on my strength," Akane said
as she left the table.

     Seeing her older sister looking at her, Nabiki offered, "I have a
few business calls to make today.  I'll be in and out all day.  I'll be
back in a few hours.  Bye."  She, too, left the table.

     Happosai interrupted the conversation as he came dragging in.
Dressed in his usual training garb, the master had patrolled Nerima
during the night.  This time, however, the goody bag was empty.  He
began a lament, "Oh, what a sorry pass I've come to.  For some reason
all of the pretty ladies in the district have started locking all of
their doors and windows at night."  He shook his head sadly.  "I
couldn't get any pretties last night."  Posing as heroically as
possible, he held an arm upraised as he vowed, "If I ever find the fiend
who has changed the happy nature of Nerima into one of such distrust,
well, I will," the old man quieted as he contemplated the revenge he
would wreak.  Pulling himself out of his reverie, he looked at his
former students, "Genma, Soun, how about some training?  I didn't do
anything last night and I still have plenty of energy!"

     "Oh, I'm sorry master we have an appointment with a," Soun
feverishly tried to come up with something.  An idea slowly came into
focus in his mind like an Alka-Seltzer fizzling in a glass of water, he
continued "another dojo."  He watched the Master and realized that he
needed more but unfortunately could not think of anything else.

     Seeing his friend faltering, Genma glibly added, "Er, ah, that we
will be reviewing for their dojo renewal license."

     "That's right master, in fact we're late.  Goodbye," Soun raced to
leave.  Remembering his friend, he yelled back into the room, "Come
along Saotome!"

     "Excuse me, but I need to start cleaning up and preparing lunch."
Kasumi carried a load of dishes into the kitchen.

     "Well, that just leaves you and me, Ranma!" Happosai chortled as he
threw a glass of water onto Ranma. "What do you say that you put this on
and we do some advanced training!"  He showed Ranma a very lacy bra and
panty set. "We'll do some speed work.  You run and I'll try to catch ya!
Wo Hoo!"

     "You old lech, there's no way that you can get me into that.
Especially so that you can chase me around!"  Ranma yelled at Happosai.
Turning to leave the room, she said, "I'm going to change back."

     "I want to play!  Can I wash your front!", the old man whimpered
using his cute crying.  Seeing that it was not working, he muttered as
he went to his room, "Oh, well.  I'll just go to my room and play with
my precious ones."

     A little while later after changing back, Ranma practiced his katas
in the back yard to calm himself back down.  He was finishing a
particularly hard body kick, leap, and leg sweep to elbow jab
combination when he sensed someone watching him.  The pig-tailed boy
looked and saw Ryouga Hibiki standing in the porch glaring at him.

     "Hi, Ryouga, where have you been?"  Ranma asked with a smile as he
grabbed a towel.  Noticing the addition to Ryouga's attire, he added,
"Cool ribbon, what'd you win?"

     Upon hearing Ranma's words, Ryouga relived the shame of being
mistaken as an entry in some miniature pet pig competition.  The horror
he experienced imagining his slaughter slowly gave way to his complete
embarrassment when he won best of show.  The utter ignominy of having
that damned blue ribbon stuck into his bandanna.  Though, how a spider
could talk, understand him in his pig form, write words over his stall,
and why she insisted his name was Wilbur still confused the bandanna
wearing boy.  "Ranma, because of you I have been completely humiliated
again!" he yelled at his greatest tormentor as he leapt at the
pig-tailed boy.

     Evading Ryouga's umbrella sweep, Ranma rolled to the side and held
his hands palm outwards towards his opponent.  "Geez, Ryouga, give it a
rest.  What am I supposed to have done to you this time?"

     "What haven't you done to me would be a better question, Ranma,"
Ryouga growled.  He quickly grabbed and released several bandanas in an
effort to pin the other boy in place while he charged with his umbrella.
He began stabbing at Ranma while the pig-tailed boy was still dodging
the missiles.  Amazingly while pulling and throwing his bandannas, the
blue ribbon stayed pinned in place over his left ear.

     Unable to dodge all that came at him, Ranma braced himself for a
strike.  It came hard and swift punching into his already weakened
stomach.  He found himself flying across the yard ending up against the
Tendo's porch.  As he carefully pulled himself back up, he allowed
himself to get mad.

     "Okay, Ryouga.  If this is how you want it, let's dance."  That
said, he ran at the lost boy.  As soon as he came within range of the
umbrella, he grabbed it with his left hand and using it as leverage
whirled around landing a right elbow directly into Ryouga's face.
Slightly stunned, Ryouga dropped his umbrella and grappled Ranma.
Unfortunately for both of them, as they fell to the ground, the two boys
both rolled into the koi pond.

     Ranma crawled out of the pond and lay there.  She ignored the cute
little piglet, which seemed intent on gnawing on her left ankle.  The
cursed boy said, "You know Ryouga, this is getting really old."  The
pig-tailed girl then sat up and groaned as her stomach muscles
protested.  "I think I'm going to lay down for awhile and rest."  She
turned to go inside, P-chan still gnawing at her heels.

     It was at this exact point that Akane returned from her morning
jog.

     "I'm back.  Oh, P-chan!  You're back!" she exclaimed in delight at
seeing her pet.

     "Yeah, he showed up a little while ago."  Ranma deadpanned as she
started to go inside.

     Akane took a closer look and noticed that P-Chan was slightly
bruised and attacking her fiance.  She immediately leapt to the wrong
conclusion.  "Ranma, how many times have I told you not to pick on
P-Chan!" she admonished as she elbowed Ranma into unconsciousness.   As
she down to pick up her pet, she noticed a blue ribbon hanging from
P-Chan's bandanna.  "Ooh, Kawaii"

     "Where did you get that cute ribbon, P-Chan?" she sweetly asked her
pet.

     "Bwee, bwee snort." The pig sort of shrugged as it moved its head
around in a circle.

     "You know P-Chan, sometimes I think that you actually understand me
and try to answer me."  She said looking him directly in the eyes.
"That's silly isn't it?"

     "Bwee hu."  P-Chan snorted as he shook his head up and down in
agreement with her.

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------
----







     When Ranma came to, she noticed a weight on her chest.







     It was Happosai fast asleep on her chest.







     His head lay between her breasts.






     Breasts bound in a very lacy red silk see-through bra.






     A bra not covered by her shirt.







     A shirt that was not even there.







     "AARRRGGHHH! YOU OLD PERVERT!"  Happosai seemed to hover in space
as Ranma jumped up and punted the little lecher away.

     "Ha Ha, maybe next time you'll train with me, eh, Sweetums?" was
heard as Happosai flew away.

     As Ranma lowered her gaze to find her shirt, she noticed that she
was wearing the panties that matched the bra.  She wore nothing else.
Her clothes were strewn about the yard as if they had been flung there
at random.  Which, in fact, they had.  Turning red from embarrassment,
she saw Nabiki walking away with her camera.

     "Thank you, Ranma, these will be my best pictures yet." Nabiki said
over her shoulder with a smirk.

     'Oh, man, what else can go wrong today?'  Ranma thought to herself.

     "Ranma, your mother, Oh, my!"  Kasumi gasped behind her.

     "Is this how Genma raised you to be a man among men, Ranma?" Nodoka
Saotome queried in an icy tone.  "If so, you and I need to have a long
chat about honor, ethics and proper clothing for a man."

     "Mom, Kasumi, it's not what ya think!  Akane knocked me out and
Happosai dressed, er, um undressed, er, dressed me while I was
unconscious! Honest! Oh, I am going to kill that old lech!"  Ranma moved
faster than ever as she grabbed her clothes and ran to the bathroom.
"Let me get out of these things and become a guy again, see ya in a
minute, Mom."

     After Ranma had changed back to a guy, Kasumi, Akane, Nodoka and he
began eating lunch.  P-Chan was in Akane's lap being hand fed by her.

     "Akane here told me that she hit you because you were hurting
P-Chan.  It is not honorable to harm helpless animals, Ranma." Nodoka
rebuked her son.

     "Bwee, Bwee!" P-Chan emphatically agreed with her.

     "Mom, I wasn't doin nothin to that pig.  It was biting me!" He
answered his mother.

     "Oh, sure, Ranma.  Since when do animals come up and just bite
you?"  Akane asked sarcastically.  Picking up her pet, she held him
nose-to-nose as she sweetly added, "Especially little P-Chan, there's
not a mean bone in his entire body.  Right, P-Chan?  She then gently
placed him in her lap again.

     "Bwee!" The little pig actually blushed as it shook its head in
acknowledgment of the truth of Akane's statement.

     "Nevertheless, Ranma, it is unseemly to be caught in such a
position.  A martial artist uses the Art to help others, not to be seen
as one that harms others.  You should know that by now." Nodoka again
reproached her son.

     "Aww, mom, Of course I know that."  Ranma hung his head.  He looked
back up at his mother and complained, "I can't help it if I'm the one
being attacked."

     "Bwee!" Akane's pet stood angrily facing Ranma, as if daring him to
attack it.  Seeing no threat, it turned back to its owner and sighed as
it snuggled down with its snout towards Akane's knees.

     "I am more concerned about your choice of morning attire, son,"
Nodoka spoke with the steel of her katana ringing in her voice.  "A bra
and panties is never manly clothing.  Especially, when worn with nothing
else on."

     "Ranma, you baka!" Akane gasped.

     "Bwee, Bwee, Bweeheeheehee!"  The black piglet laughed into Akane's
skirt as he looked at the expression on Ranma's face.

     "Shut up P-Chan."  Ranma angrily whispered to the amused piglet.
Turning to his mother, he said in a voice begging to be believed, "Mom,
I told ya it was Happosai, he must have put me into that get-up after
Akane knocked me out."

     "Snort, Snort, Bwee hee hee hee hee," snorted P-Chan
uncontrollably.

     "Mm, Ranma-kun, will you be wanting to keep that lingerie?" Kasumi
asked.

     "No way. Uh uh. No!  I don't even want to see them again," Ranma
said as he blushed beet red in embarrassment.

     "Ranma, If you will not be using those articles again, might I have
them?" Kasumi asked again.

     "What???" Everyone looked at the eldest Tendo daughter in
disbelief.

     "Oh, my.  You don't understand.  The local women's shelter is
always in need of lingerie.  If you don't want to keep them, I thought
it would be nice to donate them."  She explained as she raised her hands
to her mouth in mildly mortified.

     "Uh, sure Kasumi.  I didn't want to be in them in the first place."
Ranma waved off the moment.  As a thought came to him, he added with a
smile, "I think Happosai would like to donate some things too.  I'll
just go up and get them for you."

     Ranma ran upstairs and retrieved Happosai's stash of lingerie.  He
added the bra and panties the master dressed him in and took them down
to Kasumi.

     "Thank you, Ranma." Kasumi looked at the huge bag.  "I guess I'll
have to make several trips.  I don't see how I could carry all of that
in one load."

     "No Problem, Kasumi."  Ranma smiled at her.  "I'll be happy to
carry it for you."

     "Would you?"  Seeing his agreement, Kasumi thankfully continued,
"If you can be ready in ten minutes, I think I'll be done with the lunch
dishes."

     "Nonsense, my dear, I'll take care of the dishes." Nodoka said in a
voice that brooked no argument but softened it with a smile.  "You go
ahead.  I can handle this little chore."

     "Thank you, Auntie Nodoka," Kasumi bowed towards her benefactor.
"In that case, I'll be right back."

     The three remaining looked at each other, unsure of what to expect.
A few moments later, the matriarch of the Tendo clan came in dragging a
sack rivaling Happosai's in size.  Neither Akane nor Ranma knew how to
ask how she had acquired such a collection, especially considering who
also lived in their home.
     Nodoka had no such problem.

     "My dear, how did you manage to gather such a large amount for your
charity?"  She asked with a polite smile on her face.

     "Oh, once a month I go to all of our neighbors and ask for
donations," Kasumi answered guilelessly.  "They know it's for a good
cause.  I've even received donations from some of the local merchants."

     "I see."  Nodoka paused, looking at the two piles, "Are you sure
that you and Ranma can carry all of that?  It looks like quite a load."

     "It certainly does!"  Akane stepped forward and grabbed Kasumi's
bag from her sister.  "Let me carry it for you."

     "Thank you, Akane!"  Kasumi beamed at her sister.  "Let's go!  I'm
sure the women at the shelter will appreciate our donations."

     "Yeah, a lot more than Happosai, that's for sure," Ranma sniggered
to himself as they left.

     Later in the afternoon, Ranma and Akane left Kasumi as she visited
with some of the workers at the shelter.  Being Ranma and always hungry,
he suggested that they stop by the Ucchan's for a snack before going
home.

     "Hiya, Ucchan!" Ranma smiled at his friend.

     "Hello, Ukyou." Akane nodded her head to her sometimes friend,
sometimes rival.

     "Hi, Ranma-Honey!" Ukyo's smile lit up the room at seeing Ranma.
"Akane." Funny thing, her smile was the same but the room seemed darker
when she looked at the girl next to her Ranchan.  "What brings both of
you to Ucchan's?"

     "Ranma's bottomless pit, of course."  Akane mock-complained to
Ukyo.  "I cannot believe how much that baka can eat."

     Not getting the teasing tone of her voice, Ranma took her statement
seriously.  "Akane, you know how much I work out, I need to eat just to
keep up my strength."

     "Actually, Ranma, Ukyou and I both work out almost as much as you
and if we ate a quarter as much as you, we would both be fat."  Akane
tried to reason with her fiancee.  "Right, Ukyou?"

     "Uh-huh" Ukyo agreed with her.

     Rolling his eyes, Ranma said, "Well, you're girls! Duh!"  He
slapped his forehead and then to accentuate his next statement he flexed
his muscles.  "I am a MAN..."

     "Except when you're a girl."  Ukyo teasingly interjected.

     He glared at her as he continued, "and a SAOTOME after all."  He
looked at his two fiancees as if they were a step above being idiots and
one step below being fools.  "You know any man can eat a lot more than
any girl and not get fat.  On top of that, we Saotome's have very fast
metabol, metbol, botulisms. We need a lot of food.  Heck, men don't even
have to worry about getting fat thighs or thick waists like you or
Ukyou.  That's one of the things I like about being a man, I can eat
like a pig and still look good."

     "Yeah, right.  Looked at his father lately?"  Akane whispered to
Ukyo.

     "Even if I gain a little weight, I can take it off in no time.
Even if I overeat as a girl, I can turn back to a guy and work it off."
Ranma finished with a proud laugh.

     Akane and Ukyou exchanged a glance and both started toward Ranma.

     "Ranma, it's metabolism not botulism." Akane grinned as she picked
up a chair.

     "Ranchan, did you just say that Akane and I have fat thighs and
thick waists?" Ukyou sweetly asked as she unlimbered her spatula.

     "Uh, no, NO, Of course not!  Who gave you that stupid idea?" He
quickly retorted.  "I never..." Ranma's babbling stopped as Akane
slammed him with the chair sending him into the waiting spatula and from
there he found himself flying over much of Nerima.  As he fell through
the air, he wondered which patch of water the curse would point him
toward.  As luck would have it, he fell into the Kunou family spring.

     "Oh, please. Oh, please don't let them see me.  There's no place
like home.  There's no place like home ..." Ranma-chan repeated this
mantra to herself over and over as she tried to sneak out of the
compound.  As she was about to jump over the wall, she heard Kunou begin
to speak.

     "Oh wondrous day, that shines with two suns not one.
      The first rich in the yellow of gold,
      the other clothed in red so bold.
      To visit upon me a love to be won.

      Ah, mistress of true feminine charm,
      let mine be the strength that is your protection and defense.
      Oh, I pray that my acts shall never give offense.
      If so, let to me and mine come an end through grievous harm,"

     Kunou soliloquized on,

     "Pig-tail Girl,
      It is you I love and cherish.
      Pig-tail Girl,
      It is you I would date.
      Pig-tail Girl,
      Let us not wait.
      Pig-tail Girl,
      Let us marry! Oh that is my true wish!"

     "Ugh, that ranks right with Akane's cooking, Kuno!"  Ranma-chan
said in disgust.

     "Thank you for the compliment.  I will forever treasure it!" Kuno
gushed, "Oh Pig-tail girl, how my heart weeps at the torture that the
evil sorceror Ranma Saotome has put you through.  Come to me and never
more shall his evil prevail upon your tender, delicate self!"

     "NO!" Ranma was backed against the wall, crouching in an effort to
shoo her admirer away.  Seeing Kuno only becoming more overwought, she
angrily lashed out, "Let me try to put this in a way you can understand
Kuno,
      I will not DATE with you.
         Not on a train
         Or in the rain.
      I will NOT marry you.
         Not in a house
         Or with a mouse
      I don't even LIKE you, you see!
      Kuno, just leave me be!
      You cannot protect me.
      You cannot protect a boat,
      or even protect a Goat!
      So, ...
      PROTECT THIS YOU IDIOT! " Ranma-Chan attacked Kunou with a vicous
right uppercut followed by a vertical leap that ended with her landing
atop her would-be lover thus creating a Kunou sized puddle on the
ground.

     Ranma then bounded upon the wall, looked back at the compound and
left.

     "Man, I am glad that Kodachi wasn't there.  Oh, there's no place
like home, there's no place like home."  Ranma again began repeating to
herself as she bounded across the rooftops back to the Tendo dojo.

     Kasumi saw Ranma as she arrived and happily said, "Hello, Ranma.
Akane got back a little while ago.  She said that you had to work off a
little of the fat in your head.  Did you finish your exercises?"

     "Err, Yes, Kasumi."  He wasn't sure what she meant, so agreed with
it.  "Man, I'm bushed.  Is anyone in the bath?"

     "No, Ranma, it's free right now."  Kasumi had already turned back
to hanging up the wash.

     'I can't believe how this day has gone.' Ranma thought as he soaked
in the warm tub.  'I wouldn't be surprised if Shampoo, Kodachi or both
showed up before this day is out.'

     "Nihao, husband!" A cheery voice rang out.

     "Hello, Ranma, darling."  A sultry voice melted across his back
sending shivers along Ranma's body.  "Let me wash your back"

     "ARRGGHH!"  He bolted from the tub before realizing that left him
naked in front of two of his self-proclaimed fiancees.  The pig-tailed
boy then jumped back into the furo in a vain attempt to reclaim some of
his dignity.

     "What crazy rose girl doing here?"  The Amazon girl blocked the
other girl from reaching her Ranma.

     "I am simply here to fulfill the duties any wife should perform,
such as wash her husband's strong back." Kodachi's eyes glazed as she
began the litanies of duties, "Or, massage his wide shoulders, or feel
his muscles move under her touch, or."

     Shampoo almost fell under the spell Kodachi weaved with her words,
but shook out of it with the realization that it was directed towards
her husband.  "Airen Shampoo's husband.  Go get own man."  Shampoo
raised her bon-bori's in challenge.

     "Why, Ranma darling is my man, you silly girl."  Kodachi put her
hand over her mouth laughing at the sheer naivete of such a suggestion.

     "Ranma, not your husband!"  Stretched to its breaking point, the
Amazon's temper erupted.  "You obstacle.  Obstacles are for kill!"
Shampoo advanced on her target, ready for combat.

     "Can't I even take a bath in peace?"  Ranma yelled in anger at the
two as he sat trapped in the furo.

     Having heard the screaming, Akane ran into the bathroom. "What's
the matter?"  She gasped when she saw the tableau in front of her.
There was Ranma sitting in the furo watching as Shampoo and Kodachi
moved to engage each other in battle.  "What do you two bimbos think
you're doing breaking into our house?"  She yelled in outrage at the
two.

     Without breaking her gaze from her opponent, Shampoo hissed,
"Pervert girl stay out of fight, no get hurt."

     "You're fighting in MY BATHROOM."  Turning towards her fiance, she
fired a question at him, "Ranma, why did you let these two idiots in
here?"

     "Huh?  I was just lying in the bath relaxing.  I don't know how
they got in!"  he answered her, shocked at the allegation.  "Do you
think I'd want any of you in here when I'm trying to relax?"

     Unfortunately for the naked boy, the effect of those words on the
three girls in question was to focus all of their rage and frustration
onto a new target, Ranma Saotome.  As he saw them turn towards him,
Ranma saw his doom written on all three faces.  "What'd I do?"  He
whined as he tried to escape, only to remember that he had to pass by
them to get to his clothes.  He was at the entrance to the changing room
when a ribbon snatched his ankle dropping him to the ground.  Shortly
afterwards, his body lay puddled occasionaly twitching.

     "Chinese tramp, you fight well.  Perhaps another day we will settle
this little dispute."  Kodachi grudgingly gave Shampoo a little credit.
"But know that on the day you face the Black Rose, that will be the day
you face defeat.  OH Ho Ho ho ho ho ho."  She leapt out through the
bathroom window leaving behind a swirl of black rose petals.

     "Stupid rose girl!"  Growled Shampoo through her bangs as she
watched the other girl leave.  She turned and looked at the pulverized
mass that was Ranma.  "Husband in no shape for date.  Shampoo come back
tomorrow, date then."  She then quietly and delicately made her way
through the house to the street, only leaving Amazon sized holes where
she didn't bother to turn or use a door.

     Akane was left with taking care of her fiance.  She half-drug,
half-carried him to the office of Dr. Ono.  Once the two returned back
to their home, the day settled into relative peace.

     After dinner, Ranma jumped onto the roof of the dojo to do some
serious thinking.

     'Man, I'm so tired of this crap.  Why can't I be normal and have
one fiancee or even none!  After all, I'm only seventeen, none of the
other guys at school have fiancees.  And, how come everyone I could
think I could be friends with either wants to marry me or kill me?  How
can I ever choose one fiancee and not hurt the others, or have them try
to kill the one I choose?  With all of the promises that Pop has made,
how can I maintain my family's honor?'

     'What is it that he always says?  A martial artist, when faced with
many opponents, should always prioritize.  If there is food available,
grab and eat it.  Then fight.  Your opponents will be angry that you ate
their food.  Angry opponents don't fight very well.  Man that's really
stupid!  Well, I'll just try to think things through.'

     'OK, Ryouga, friend or foe?'

     'Ryouga and I always seem to fight.  I have to admit that I caused
the feud in the first place.  I could have let him have the bread every
once in while, Nah.  I was hungry, I wanted it and I had to fight to get
it.  Besides, it was fun.  Fighting with anyone, other than Pop, was
always fun.  Ryouga has always been pretty good.  Also, Pop would have
gotten angry and made me do some stupid exercise if he had ever found
out if I had let anyone else beat me.  I wouldn't have been a "Boy among
Boys" so that I could become a "Man among Men".'

     'Accidentally dunking Ryouga in the Spring of Drowned Cute Little
Black Piggy, didn't help any.  I was so mad at Pop for turning me into a
girl.  I just didn't care what I was doing or to whom.  I wasn't
thinking.  I wanted to hurt the old man and I didn't care who was in the
way.'

     'I am sorry for cursing you Ryouga, do you know that?  You should,
I've kept your secret from Akane long enough.'

     'You're always there whenever I've needed you, funny about that.
You can never find anyplace, but when needed you show up.  Kami-sama
must have given you a small blessing to go with your curse of always
being lost.'

     'You have taken advantage of my and Akane's honor by being her
little "P-Chan".  I haven't forgiven that, yet.'

     'I think his love for Akane, (how that tomboy can be so dense as to
not see it), and mine for her is the only thing keeping us from being
good friends.'

     'If he ever needs me, I'll be there.'

     'Who are my fiancees and whom should I pick?'

     'OK, who do I recognize as fiancee's?  There's Akane, Ukyou and
Shampoo.  Kodachi considers herself one, but she scares me.  I don't
know how many others there might be.  Two have shown up and have lost
competitions and thus their claim.  If I choose one, the others will be
at the least dishonored or at the worst possibly killed.'

     'If I choose Akane, I would get a girl that I ... I ... L-word.
Ha, I said it!  I would get someone who really L-words me back. (Hey
it's getting easier to say! This ain't so bad!)  She can't cook.  She's
smart.  She's cute.  She's not bothered with my curse.  We fight well
together, too.  She's always there when I need someone, even when I push
her away.'

     'If I don't choose her, what would happen?  She and her family
would lose face.  Ukyou is an example of what can happen there.  She
would be hurt really bad.  So would I.  Dad and I would get kicked out
of the dojo.  Well, I would have someplace to stay.  Pops could go to a
zoo!  Ha.'

     'If I choose Ukyou, I would get a girl that I L-word, too.  (Ha ha,
this is easy to say.. L-word, L-word, Lo...) She L-words me back.  She
cooks great okonomiyaki. She's smart.  She cooks really great
okonomiyaki.  She's a great fighter.  She cooks really, really great
okonomiyaki.  She's cute.   She cooks the greatest okonomiyaki in the
world. She was my best friend when I was six.  She's my friend now.'

     'If I don't choose her, she would be crushed.  Would she go back to
living as a guy?  I hope not.  I know how hard it is to be something
you're not.  She would lose all face again.  Would she even be able to
go home?'

     'If I chose Shampoo, I would get someone who really L-words me.  Do
I L-word her?  Not like Akane or even Ukyou.  Could I?  I think so.
She's the best fighter among my fiancees.  She cooks great.  She's going
to be a leader of her tribe.  Cologne would train me.  She's smart.
She's good at strategy.  She's bad at languages.  She cooks really
great.  She's great looking.'

     'If I don't choose her, she will lose her position within the
tribe.  She might be punished with banishment.  Or worse, she might have
to marry Mousse.  She would be badly hurt.'

     'Even though she scares me a little, I wouldn't mind a chance to
get to know Kodachi.  If she agreed to not use any potion, poison, spice
or any mind or body altering substance on me, that is.  I don't know
about marriage.  She's offered to give me a dojo.  Pops even accepted.
I'm glad that we didn't take it.'

     'If I don't choose Kodachi, she's already proven that she can get
very nasty.  She could be violent physically or attack with her family's
resources.  Either way would spell trouble for my family and whomever I
chose.'

     'If I choose any over the others, my family will lose face.  I will
lose face.  My wonderful father committed our family and me to marry a
Tendo, thank kami-sama that they were all girls and not boys, and to
marry Ukyou.  I fought Shampoo in China and her law says that I already
AM her husband.  I'm at fault for her engagement.'

     'What are my options?'

     'I could commit seppuku.  Unh huh.  I want to live.  I don't want
to die.'

     'I could leave my family and no longer be a Saotome.  Pops sure
wasn't a great role model on how to be a good person.  That wouldn't be
too bad.  Shampoo wouldn't care.   She would hunt me down.  I think
Ukyou and Kodachi probably would, too.  I think Akane would be too hurt
and angry to do anything for at least awhile.  Most importantly, I am
proud to be who I am and part of that is being a Saotome.'

     'I could live permanently as a girl.  NO WAY.  I'm a guy.  I like
girls!  Kuno's telling me that he loves me STILL gives me nightmares!'
He shuddered at the mere thought.  'Shampoo would be honor bound to kill
me.  I want to live and I want to live as a GUY!'

     The pig-tailed boy noticed a lightening in the east, presaging the
dawn. 'Geez, I've been up here all night and I still can't decide.'  He
frowned and shook his head in bemusement.  Unable to think anymore, he
decided to watch the sunrise.

     As he drowsily lay back, a thought struck him.  'Mom has said to
come to her with any problems.  I think that I'll go talk with her
tomorrow.'  With a decision made, a smile crossed his features as the
sun burst over the horizon.

     'Man, I'm tired,' he thought as he made his way to the guest room
he shared with his father.  'I hope I can get at least a little sleep.'

=====================================================================

     Thanks for reading this far.  This chapter has been pretty heavily
revised from its original form.

     If there are any problems with continuity, grammar or whatever,
please C&C.  I want to get better.  Without your comments, flames or
freeze rays, I won't.

     Mike

     Homepage:  http://home1.gte.net/allenmk/
     ICQ: 16071419