Another one of Sailor Andromeda's funniest adventures.
Idea from a certain debate on the FFML, now banned.
(Gee, aren't I specific? ;))
Enjoy.
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Sailor Andromeda meets EvilNet.com


                 ---------------------------------
                     The Beginning of the fic!
                 ---------------------------------

 In the darkness, six persons were sitting over brightly lit desks,
each in a different color.
 *We're starting out in the dark again *, thought Sailor Andromeda as
she listened to what was going on from her white desk.
 Facing her was the leader of the Sailor Senshi United Council,
Sailor Golden Beam. The yellow light from her desk made her hair look
even blonder than usual. "First point on the list and the reason this
emergency meeting was called. Please explain the matter, Sailor
Scarlet Fury.
 The General of the Investigation and Tactics Department stood up
from her blue-lit desk. "Recently, one of my agents found this." She
held up a CD box. On the CD inside was printed: 'The Ultimate Sailor
Moon CD-ROM'. "Lake of Illusions.... Fire Senshi's Realm.... Cavern
of the Crystal Stars.... The Sailor Sun Fan Fiction Website.... plus
a whole lot of others. All glued together into one giant page, and
the credits were snipped as carefully as Anime nudity." 
 "How much do they charge for this?" Golden Beam asked.
 "Two hundred fifty dollars. Considering that no credit has been
given, I don't suppose the authors will ever see a cent. But I'm sure
whoever made this are going to get any amount of money from moonies
with computers. This is the best of Sailor Moon sites from around the
Net."
 "Not quite", cut in Andromeda looking at the list she received.
Everyone looked at her. "Skeeter's Evolution is missing. I don't see
Jupiter Knight's page either, and many more. These are some of the
best sites, not all the best sites."
 "How do you suppose they were chosen?" Sailor Flaming Aurora
inquired. Meagen's superior and General of the Senshi Coordination
Department looked rather sinister, her pale skin burning and her
black hair stained red in her desk's light.
 "I'm not sure." Andromeda was examining the list carefully. "Not by
type. There's general info, galleries, shrines, fandubs and who knows
what else. There's no pattern here."
 "All the Silver Millennium Senshi and many 20th century ones. Many
Senshi United members, too." Scarlet Fury added.
 Aurora looked closer. "No connections except that these are some of
the best sites on Sailor Moon? No, wait.... there is something."
 Everyone looked at her. "What?"
 "These sites are all hosted by Geocities."

 A moment of silence followed.
 "I suggest we send someone to Geocities to investigate this matter."
This proposition came from the so-far silent Sailor Gleaming
Aquamarine, the gentle General of the Healer Senshi Department.
 "Right", agreed Scarlet Fury.
 "Good idea", said Golden Beam. "Who shall we send?"
 "I think Sailor Andromeda here is perfect for the job," answered
Flaming Aurora. She turned to her. "Will you do it?"
 "Sure! Let me at 'em!" Andromeda replied cheerfully. "I'll just get
Moonie and be on my way!" When she spoke these words, the light from
her desk faded away.
 "Now that that's settled, let's move on to the second point on the
list." Sailor Golden Beam picked up a paper from her desk and read
from it. "'Why do we have to sit around in the dark on every
meeting?' I believe this came from Sailor Scarlet Fury."
 The Tactics General nodded. "I just thought it was kinda weird."
 Golden Beam frowned. "Come to think of it, why _do_ we sit around
in the dark? I don't suppose it is part of any", she turned to
Flaming Aurora as she stressed the last word, "tradition?"
 The latter shrugged her shoulders. "I don't think so. No Senshi
tradition, anyway."
 "Right", the blonde leader turned back to everyone else, "who votes
for turning on the light?"
 Everyone raised their hands.
 
 Meanwhile, Sailor Andromeda and Sailor Moonie were stuck. There was
a huge gap in the middle of the road. It was too big to jump, and
too long to go around.
 "Meagen, what do we do now?!" Sailor Moonie whined. "Why don't you
take your cape and turn it into that cool hang-glider?"
 "I don't have my cape in this fic", said Andromeda.
 "Just great", pouted Moonie. "What is this hole, anyway?"
 "That's no ordinary hole, Moonie. That's a PLOThole."
 "So what?"
 "It means this fic is going to be too short if we just get to
Geocities now." Sailor Andromeda looked around. "We need some
plot filler here."
 "Look no further!" Three voices sounded.
 Both Senshi looked in the direction they came from.
 "The star of the winds protects me, I am Sailor Uranus!"
 "The star of the ocean guides me, I am Sailor Neptune!"
 "For love and justice, the sailor-suited soldier, Sailor
Chibi-Moon!"
 Together, they said, "We are the Plot Fillers Extra-ordinaire!"

 "Pink Sugar Heart Attack!" Sailor Chibi-Moon exclaimed. The attack
didn't work at first and she sweatdropped. But then small pink
hearts shot forward in a line before falling on the ground.
 The plothole shrank a bit.

 Uranus and Neptune jumped up and landed in front of Sailor
Andromeda.
 "You can't go to Geocities!" Uranus exclaimed.
 "Why not?"
 "Because, um," Neptune peeked into her mirror, "We have to blow
that building up! It's absolutely vital for the fate of the world
and junk! So you can't go there!"
 "But I have to! I need some answers from those guys!" shouted
Andromeda.
 "Well, you're not getting them! World... Shaking!!!"
 "Rainbow!" The two attack collided and made a huge explosion.
 "Deep.... Submerge!" The turquoise sphere flew right between Sailor
Chibi-Moon and Sailor Moonie, who were friendly chatting just a few
yards away.
 
 The plothole shrunk to nothingness.
 "Thanks guys!" said Sailor Andromeda.
 "Just doing our job!" smiled Neptune.
 "Come on, Rabbit!" called Uranus. Chibi-Moon joined them and the
trio vanished.

 
 Sometime later...

 Sailor Andromeda crept down the corridor of the Geocities central
office. Sailor Moonie was following her. As they weren't certain
what was going on, they preferred to play it safe and sneak in
instead of coming openly through the front door.
 They walked along the corridor for a few minutes. Everything was
dark and silent.

 After a few more minutes, Sailor Andromeda stopped short. "This
sequence is too long and boring!", she declared aloud.
 Before she even finished her line, a few ro^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H several
dozens of robots suddenly appeared behind them.
 Andromeda grabbed Moonie and dashed down the corridor. 

                 ---------------------------------
                       The Middle of the fic!
                 ---------------------------------

 In a small TV studio decorated with rubber plants, Sailor Moonie and
Sailor Andromeda sit in armchairs. In a third one sits a man between
two ages, rather nondescript, plainly dressed, with short brown hair
and brown eyes.
 "Hello and welcome to the Middle of the Fanfic", said Sailor
Andromeda. "Well, it's been quite interesting up to now, don't you
agree?"
 Moonie nodded. "Yup. And I learned a very important lesson: you
should never complain about your fic to the author, or she'll make
your day a lot worst!"
 Andromeda grew a sweatdrop. "And what does our guest think about
it?". She turned to her right to find an empty chair. "Huh?"
Turning back to Moonie, she asked: "Is it over already?"
 Moonie pulled her left glove down to reveal a watch. The single hand
on it moved from 'Time for a break' to 'Back to the chase'. "Yup."
 Andromeda sighed. "I'm gonna talk to SailorM about those interludes.
They're getting too short."



 Sailor Andromeda pulled out her Star Scepter as she ran. She
concentrated and half of it vanished, leaving only a pink handle in
her hand.
 Then a red beam shot out and formed into a Light Sword ( (C) Star
Wars, Tenchi Muyo and Phantom Quest Corporation).

 Sailor Andromeda stopped with a cartoony screech sound, shoved
Sailor Moonie behind her and took a swing at the charging robots,
destroying five^H^H^H^H three^H^H^H^H^H one of them.
 "Hey, no fair! My sword is powerful and these guys are charging in
a pack!"
 Oh, all right then. ...destroying seven of them.

 Happy?
 "Yup."

 Not paying much attention to Moonie starting a speech and the fourth
wall bidding farewell to existence for good, Sailor Andromeda took
several swings at the robots while dodging their clumsy blows.
Finally, with a sound effect that would made George Lucas call his
lawyer, she cut apart the last of them.
 Andromeda let the Light Sword vanish and turned around as Moonie
said "...I will punish you!". Then the little soldier blinked and
looked at the huge pile of junk blocking the hallway. "Or maybe not."

 "Very nice swordplay", said someone behind them. They turned and
saw the nondescript man. He continued: "Of course you realize those
robots were only a minor warm-up for you and the real battle only
comes now, and I am quite certain I will kill you?"
 "What do I look like, an idiot?" Asked Sailor Andromeda, glaring at
him. For a moment, he considered answering 'yes', but when he saw
the little glint in her eye he decided that would NOT be the wisest
thing to do. Sailor Andromeda called her sword back. "I know the
answer. Anyway, the one you'd give if you know what's good for ya.
However, I need to know if it's also you that's behind this." She
held up the 'Ultimate Sailor Moon CD-ROM' in her free left hand.
 "Oh, you got to that, didn't you?" He answered with a question.
Then, suddenly, he changed. 

 He was no longer nondescript. His hair turned blue and spiky, one of
his eyes became light green and a rather flashy metallic blue and
black outfit replaced his ordinary clothes.
 "I am Technetite, general of the Dark Kingdom!", he said, making
a pose with background image and sound effect.
 "You mean the _late_ Dark Kingdom", Moonie corrected.
 "Yes, your Japanese friends did give us some problems a few years
ago. But thanks to my ingenious scheme I can a lot of..."
 "Energy?" Moonie cut in.
 "No. Money. I will gather enormous amounts of money to put our
economy back on its feet! Bwahahahahaha!!!"
 "How dare you!" Sailor Andromeda glared at him angrily. "Selling the
effects of dedicated fans' hard work, and not crediting them at all!
I will not tolerate this!"
 "Crediting? My dear, they have personally agreed, each and every one
of them, to let me use their work in any way, shape or form, without
royalties or anything!"
 "What?" Both senshi asked, amazed.
 "That's right! I created Geocities and promised free web space for
anyone! To get it, they just have to fill out a form or two and click
the 'Yes' button under an agreement written in boring lawyer talk.
Not one of them bothered to actually read it! If they did, they would
find THIS!" Technetite pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to
Sailor Andromeda. 

  8. By submitting Content to any Yahoo property, you automatically
  grant, or warrant that the owner of such Content has expressly
  granted, Yahoo the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable,
  non-exclusive and fully sublicensable right and license to use,
  reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate, create derivative
  works from, distribute, perform and display such Content (in whole
  or part) worldwide and/or to incorporate it in other works in any
  form, media, or technology now known or later developed. 

 "See? It's perfectly legal! You can't touch me!", he laughed.
 "We'll see about that..." Sailor Andromeda tore the paper apart. She
jumped up and swinged her sword at Technetite. He teleported out of
the way and re-appeared a bit further.
 "Hydronymus Decapitulation!!!" Technetite exclaimed, sending an arc
of silvery energy towards the senshi. They both managed to duck in
time. Andromeda got up.
 "Cosmic... LASERBEAM!" She exclaimed, sending her attack at the
Dark Kingdom general. He nearly got out of the way, but took a good
hit. He staggered back to his feet.
 "Enough of this now. Prepare to be terrified!" Technetite pulled out
a miniature TV set and switched it on. Five girls appeared,
singing in unison: "If you wanna be my lover..."
 Sailor Moonie blinked. "Huh? This is supposed to scare us?"
 Technetite grew a sweatdrop. "Many people hate the Spice Girls and
their avatars are quite sensitive to the sound of this music.
I thought it was worth a shot."
 Sailor Andromeda shrugged her shoulders. "We were created by
SailorM, and she tolerates the Spice Girls. So it can't work on us."
 Technetite threw the TV down and it shattered into a million pieces,
cutting the song on "takin' is too easy...". Then he turned to Sailor
Andromeda. "What ARE you afraid of, then?!?!"
 Sailor Andromeda grinned. "Now let's not get nosy, bub."
 At that moment, a dark-haired boy wearing a yellow bandanna tapped
her on the shoulder. "Excuse me, he said, do you know how to get to
Girl Days?"
 Sailor Andromeda turned around, very slowly. Then she stared at
him. As she didn't say anything for a long while, he repeated: "Do
you know the way to the fanfic Girl Days?"
 A scream of shear horror filled the air and part of the roof
collapsed as Sailor Andromeda ran to hide ten rooms away, not paying
much attention to the walls in-between.
 Ryouga and Sailor Moonie sweatdropped as they looked at the straight
line of Sailor Andromeda-shaped holes. Ryouga quickly withdrew
(Heading straight for "The Evil Guy From Another Dimension". But
that's another story.), leaving Sailor Moonie alone.

 Well, almost.

 She found Technetite behind some rubble, shivering. "What an awful
SCREAM! That was inhumaaaan!", he whined.
 "Serves you right", she said. For a moment, she considered making a
speech, but then she decided against it. *It's supposed to be done at
the beginning of the fight. Now it's time to finish him. Hmmmm,
someone has to give me a cue.* She looked around, but Sailor
Andromeda had not come back yet, despite the fact that Ryouga was
long gone.
 *Guess I'll have to cue me.* She whispered to herself, "Now, Sailor
Moonie!"
 Technetite turned to her. "What did you say?" he asked weakly.
 
 On a pink background moving up, Sailor Moonie raises her hands and
an orb of light appears between them. The view zooms to it as it
turns into a picture of a full moon. Sailor Moonie calls: "Moon
Pearls!" and the full moon pulls back and melds into one of the
pearls in a chain. Sailor Moonie grabs it.

 "Now wait a minute!" Technetite exclaimed.

 Sailor Moonie calls "Pink candy!" and waves the chain of pearls
around. Every two out of three pearls turn into sweets with pink
wrappings.

 "Can't we talk this over?" Technetite shouted.

 Sailor Moonie spirals around a bit with the chain, doing poses and
striking and waving it and whatnot. She finally exclaims: "Sparkling
ATTACK!!!" as she whips the chain, unleashing the spell on her enemy.

 The pink light closing in with dozens of special effects filled his
whole world. *This is it* were the last words that passed through
his brain like a cowardly captain who has decided going down with
his ship is not an option after all.
 Then there was nothing but darkness.

 Sailor Moonie remained frozen in the last pose of her attack. The
fact she was suspended in midair without any magic holding her up did
not bother her, because she didn't know this was impossible.
 Slowly, she lowered her feet and stood up straight. The
pearls-and-candy chain dissolved as she let go of it. Slowly, she
advanced towards Technetite, not quite believing what she had done.

 Sailor Andromeda peeked into the room. Seeing no more Ranma
characters about, she sighed with relief and entered. She was rather
embarrassed at the display of her weakness.
 Hearing a noise, she turned her head. Sailor Moonie was standing
nearby, looking at her. Her expression was a mixture of triumph,
confusion, and most of all, fright.
 Sailor Andromeda observed her partner, puzzled. "What's wrong?" She
finally asked.
 Sailor Moonie's voice was very weak. "I... I killed him."
 "You did?" Sailor Andromeda brightened up. "That's great."
 "No, it's not!!!" Sailor Moonie shouted. "I didn't mean to! I don't
want to!!! He's... He was a person!!! I can kill demons, but not
real people!!!"
 Sailor Andromeda was even more puzzled. "He was very evil, and he
had to be destroyed."
 "But why?!?! Couldn't we just heal him like all those other evil
people?!"
 Sailor Andromeda shook her head. "No. He was evil beyond any
healing. Where is he, by the way?"
 "Over... there...." Sailor Moonie pointed to the pile of rubble.
 The purple-suited senshi walked behind it. As she saw Technetite,
the expression on her face quickly changed to disappointment. She
peeked out and asked: "Say Moonie, where did the other one go?"
 Sailor Moonie was puzzled. "The person from another fanfic?"
 "Yes, that one. What happened to him?"
 "Well, I think he left."
 "Left, you say. Left. As in 'did not stay here'. Walked away. Just
like that?"
 "Yes..." Sailor Moonie was so astonished she almost forgot her
grief. She walked to the elder senshi.
 "Darn." Sailor Andromeda snapped her fingers.
 The little soldier walked closer. But as soon as she caught a
glimpse of the unmobile form, she remembered what she had done again.
She burst into tears.
 Sailor Andromeda hugged her and comforted like an elder sister.
She slowly cradled Sailor Moonie in her hands, repeating how
everything is going to be all right and that she'll forget all about
it soon and the ghost will not come and scare her at night.

 Finally, Moonie calmed down a bit. Sailor Andromeda walked over to
Technetite's still form. She picked up his fist. Then she smiled
brightly.
 "Moonie? Good news. He's just unconscious."
 "What?" The smaller senshi didn't understand.
 "He didn't die. He just fainted." As if to prove it, the figure
stretched and groaned. Sailor Andromeda picked him up and threw him
over her shoulder. "Come on, let's get this character to a hospital."
 Sailor Moonie sighed. "Wow, what a relief!"

                 ---------------------------------
               The End of the fic - AKA the Epilogue
                 ---------------------------------

 The two girls were in a cafe. Moonie was eating some ice-cream and
Meagen was sipping a soft drink.
 "Today, I have been a killer." Moonie said thoughtfully. "Just for
a little while, but still."
 "How did it feel?"
 "Awful. I never, EVER want to do it again."
 "That's good."
 "What should we do about all those CDs that he managed to sell?"
 "Don't worry. I have a feeling he won't get away with it."
 There was a silence. Meagen finished her drink and Moonie scrubbed
out the remains of her sundae.
 "Let's go", said Meagen, getting up. "Somewhere, a fanfic is being
written. And we have to be in it."
 She paid the waitress and they walked out.

 Meanwhile, in a nearby hospital...
 "Those blasted Sailor Senshi! They ruined such a perfect plan!!! But
no matter. Soon, I will be healed and I will think of an even better
way to earn lots of money. The Dark Kingdom WILL rise again!" As
Technetite was about to start laughing, a nurse opened the door.
 "Sir, you have visitors."
 He frowned. *Who could possibly want to see me?*, he wondered.
 A few minutes later, he knew.


 Lawyers.

 "We are here on behalf of Naoko Takeuchi and Toei Animation, and we
would like to ask you certain questions about this." the man held up
the 'Ultimate Sailor Moon CD-ROM'. 
 Technetite sighed. It was going to be a LONG day.

 THE END
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Well, how did you like it? Not as funny as the first part,
I think, but still some good reading. BTW, I _know_ that
the fourth wall went to peices sooner than I said. I just didn't
have any way to put it in when it did.

Like it? Tell me. Don't like it? MiST it and tell me.

Seeya,
Meagen

SailorM of
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