The Eternal Lost Lurker wrote:

I have been working on a new fic and I have paired nearly everyone up.
the ony two people left are Shampoo and Tsubasa. I challenge anyone out
there to write a convincing Shampoo/Tsubasa fic

Counter-challenge. Write a convincing fic pairing Ranma (boy-type) and
Tarou (cursed form). If you can do that, maybe I'll try my hand at
Shampoo/Tsubasa. After all, one completely pointless, improbable, and
ridiculous coupling deserves another.

Challenge accepted, sir!

*****************

    Tarou-monster bellowed, the sound from his monstrous throat echoing
throughout the burning valley.  With another cry of rage, he smashed the
kettle against himself, spilling the boiling water across its back. 
Once again his Jusenkyo curse failed to activate and return him to human
form.

    "You're stuck like that, and cold water isn't doing anything to me,
either."

    Tarou spun around to face the voice, the pain of his many wounds
causing him to be considerably slower than normal.  He saw fem-boy
standing by the new stream that had formed, created as an outlet from
the nearby lake by horrendous destruction wreaked on the land by the
earlier battle.

    Still in shock from his curse's failure, Tarou extended an octopus
tentacle to snap at his long-time adversary.  His heart wasn't in it,
though, and Ranma easily avoided the blow.  Looking annoyed, Ranma held
up a hand in a truce gesture.

  "Something about... wherever we are seems to have turned off our
curses.  I was a guy when I got dragged here, so I'm stuck as a guy- not
that I'm complaining.  You were like that, so...."

    Tarou turned and faced the horizon, looking at the spot where was
one the suns was setting, the same direction where those blue-skinned
bastards fled in their airships.  He raised his fists, his wings, his
tentacles, all his unoccupied limbs in a gesture of defiance.  He'd
catch up to them, and when he did, they'd pay.  Oh, they'd pay.

    "Yeah, I'm with you.  We have to catch up with those weirdoes and
make them show us the way home.  It's the only chance we've got."

    Tarou merely grunted.  Trust fem-boy to state the obvious.

    Ranma continued.  "Listen.  You don't like me and I don't like you,
but we're in this together.  I was doing okay most of the time, but I
can't-  I mean, I have a little trouble taking out one of those giant
robot things they were using by myself.  You were plowing through them,
though.  I figure if we teamed up-"

    Ranma halted, interrupted by a stream of animalistic laughter
issuing from Tarou's monstrous throat.  Tarou made a dismissive
gesture.  He didn't need and didn't want Ranma's help.  Let Saotome look
out for himself.

    "Think you don't need me, do you?" said Ranma, echoing Tarou's
thoughts.  "Think again.  Maybe you don't have any trouble fighting like
that, but no way you can talk to anybody.  I bet you can't even get
close without the natives running away.  Without me, you're going to be
nothing but a monster.  They might even get a squad of those
robot-things together and hunt you down!"

    Tarou huffed through his bovine head.  He wasn't worried about being
hunted, but it _would_ be inconvenient to being able to communicate.

    Ranma kept talking.  "How do you think you're even going to be able
to find those blue guys, without me to ask directions?  You won't even
be able to fly after them until your wings heals, and by then they could
be anywhere.  Face it, _Pantyhose_, you need me!"

    Tarou pointed at Ranma, then slapped his own chest hard.  The
meaning was clear.  If he needed Ranma, then Ranma was going to need him
as well.

    Ranma got the point, and didn't deny it, though he didn't admit it
either.  He said, "So what do you say Tarou, we together on this?"

    Tarou extended a massive paw out into the air.  Jumping a bit, Ranma
slapped his own hand on top of it.  Partners then.  They'd stick
together.... for now.

********************************

What was that?  Sex, you said?  A romantic relationship you said?  There
was nothing about sex or love in the above challenge.  Merely to get
Ranma and Tarou "together".  Well, they're together.  What more do you
want?

-- 
Matthew Campbell
E-mail: mgcampb@clemson.edu

"Petty details.  The mere fact that my assumptions are
wrong and my conclusions are erroneous does not mean
I am not right in principle."

- Seen on usenet.