Having participated in a rather harsh MSTing of your previous story
("Pyros") I'm happy to say that this is a HUGE improvement. A few minor
errors, but overall a nicely done character piece.

"Lone Wolf" <latin_wolf@HOTMAIL.COM> wrote:

	"So this is what you want me to deliver?"
	"Yes. You will be well paid of course."

Hyphenate: well-paid

	"Do you have a problem?"
	"No sir."

"No, sir."

	When dad got home, my mother immediately confronted him. He began raving on 
about how this was his way of getting back at those shit eating culture 

shit-eating

vultures. I didn't have to guess that he was referring to the Americans. He 
never did get over loosing his job.

losing. ("Loosing" means turning something loose.)

	My father was a big man, lots of muscle and tall. My mother was tall too, 
but only 150 lbs. She went down from the first blow. But she looked up at 

Suggest writing out "a hundred and fifty pounds." Or better yet,
"seventy kilograms." (Japan uses the metric system.)

	Then he crumpled and fell.
	I was shocked. The blade was still in my hand, it's new crimson coloring 

its ("it's" means "it is")

	If I attempted to kill someone there, and was unable too, then I was a 

unable to,

	It's interesting how some things can lead to others. My father's job died, 
and with it went his soul. My father died, and with him went mine. I wonder 
who's I will take with me...

whose (who's = "who is")


Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics.html