Okay, here's the final of Garden of EVA 1:5. Enjoy and if you spot any 
last minute errors, let me know soon so I can fix them before sending it
to RAAC.


I added another 'guide' to the dictionary sectionfor your reading
pleasure. :)


=======================================================================
Garden of EVA 1:5 - Handcuffs Suck (and Chafe Too)!
Book 1: Sucks

Neon Genesis Evangelion characters and situations created and Copyright
by Gainax, Project Eva, ADV Films - Used without permission

Garden of EVA series created, written, and copyright 1998-1999
by Jim Lazar

A series set within episode 26 of Neon Genesis Evangelion that really
sucks.

<Speech text in angle brackets is thought by character.>
"Speech text in double quotes is spoken as Japanese."

E-mail comments and/or criticisms to: mailto:jimlazar@earthlink.net

Previous parts and my other fanfiction can be found at:
http://home.earthlink.net/~jimlazar/anime
=======================================================================
Oh... write your own warning about all the bad language and sex in this
fic, why don'cha?!
=======================================================================


     "Stop it!" Shinji managed to blurt.

     Rei glared back at Shinji. "Shut up! You're not the boss of me!!"

     The man held out some bills. Before Rei could grab then, Shinji
did. "I said no!!"

     Rei glared at Shinji a pulled back her arm. Then she stopped at
stared at his eyes for an eternity. Finally she dropped to her knees and
started to cry. "Why can't you just let me get this over with?"

     Shinji looked down sadly at his sister, dropped down, and pulled
her into a hug. "It'll be okay, Rei. I'm here for you. Whatever it is
you're hiding, just tell me."

     Before Rei could respond, she felt something cold on her wrist. She
looked up and saw that the man had attached a pair of handcuffs to one
of her wrists. "Hey! That's extra!!" she blurted out of habit.

     Shinji flinched as he realized that Rei might have had a darker
past than he realized. Then he shuddered as he felt the other cuff
slapped around his wrist. "What the hell are you doing?"

     The man stood up. "You really shouldn't have grabbed the money kid,
now you're both under arrest." He held out a badge.

     "Shit, not again."

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     "Shinji's headed for the big house for sure this time!!" Asuka fell
to the floor of the theater and started laughing uncontrollably.

     Shinji ripped the remote control out of Asuka's hand. "You don't
have to keep watching that!"

     "But since you erased the part where Kaji fucked me, this is the
next best thing."

     <I just wish I could erase the events themselves and not just the
images of them.> Shinji glared at the naked redhead. "Why can't you shut
up!"

     "I will when you fuck me!" Asuka invited him in by spreading her
legs.

     Shinji's nose started to bleed when he saw the view spread out
before him. He looked away to avoid getting any more aroused.
Unfortunately, he looked over at Rei and Misato who, of course, were
also naked. His penis decided it appreciated the view.

     "Hot damn! He's ready to do it finally."

     Rei jumped forward and put herself between Shinji and Asuka. "No,
Shinji... you shouldn't."

     Shinji flinched. "I'm not going to fuck her!"

     Asuka laughed. "That's not what your penis is saying."

     "Shut up!"

     "Make me!"

     Shinji waved his hand and Asuka started to fade away.

     "That doesn't solve anything!" Asuka said quickly before she faded
completely from view.

     Shinji flinched at the comment, realizing that Asuka was right. He
turned back towards the viewpoint. "If I can't end that world, I've got
to do something to help them... but what?"

     Rei walked up behind Shinji and wrapped her arms around Shinji's
chest. "You must trust your other self to do the right thing." She
pressed her head against his back and sighed.

     Shinji could feel her breasts against his back. The sensation
brought back memories of the kiss Rei had given him. <Why did she do
that? Can she really know what love is?> Since Rei didn't seem inclined
to bring it up, he decided to go back into his trance.

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     Rei and Shinji were being led out of the hotel by the police
officer who had arrested them.

     "You can arrest me, but let Shinji go! He didn't do anything
wrong!" Rei pleaded.

     "Save it, sister. You and your pimp can tell your sob story to the
judge," the police officer responded without hesitation.

     Shinji flinched at being called Rei's pimp.

     "He's not my pimp! He's my boyfr... err... brother!"

     The police officer smirked. "Better get your story straight before
you see the judge, sister." He guided the handcuffed teenagers over to
his car. "I've seen it all... if he's not your pimp, then you're pulling
a scam to rip off your customers. Either way, you're going to jail."

     Rei sighed and leaned over to Shinji. "I'm sorry you got wrapped up
in this, Shinji."

     "You should be more sorry you even tried to sell yourself. You are
worth more than a few thousand yen!"

     Rei frowned. "You think I should ask for more?"

     Shinji almost choked on his tongue. "You stupid idiot! I meant you
shouldn't sell your body like that!"

     "Oh. I'm sorry Shinji, but I had to do this to...."

     "To what?"

     Rei looked down at her hands, ashamed. "It doesn't matter anymore.
After this, we probably won't be able to see each other again."

     "Huh?"

     "If I know my mom and grandmother, they'll pack up and move again.
Assuming we both don't end up in juvie for an extended stay, that is."

     Shinji frowned. He hadn't even started thinking of the consequences
of being arrested. He was more concerned about why Rei had done this
after having promised not to after their last run in with the law. "I'll
keep us together, somehow."

     Rei smiled slightly at the love she heard in his voice. "That's
sweet, but maybe I can't handle being so close to you without being able
to *BE* with you."

     "We'll find a way."

     "I'm sorry, Shinji, I don't think it'll work."

     A part of Shinji died at that moment. The thought of never being
able to see Rei weighed heavily on his heart. He was numb inside when
the police officer pushed them into the back of his little unmarked car.

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     The police officer keyed some notes into the small terminal in his
car as he drove towards the police station. The flat screen on the
terminal displayed Shinji and Rei's names and addresses. He scrolled
down to the last line, which read, 'Detain for questioning warrant
issued in Tokyo-3'. "Hmmmm..."

     In the back seat, Shinji and Rei were pressed tightly together and
talking softly.

     "Rei, what did that letter mean? What is that Hasamoto guy going to
do to me?"

     Rei frowned and looked away. "Don't worry... I'll take care of it.
There is no way I'll let you get hurt."

     "Then tell me what's going on."

     Rei risked looking into Shinji's eyes. "I can't... it's something I
don't want to get you involved in. Something... I don't want you to
know."

     "Why?"

     "Because I don't want to ruin your image of me."

     Shinji flinched. <What could be that bad. Compared to what she's
already told me, what could possibly be worse?> Shinji took her hand,
the handcuffs that connected them rattling as he did so. "Rei, please
tell me. I've accepted you've had a pretty bad life so far. Nothing you
tell me will ever change how I feel about you."

     "Which is?"

     "Huh?"

     Rei looked down at her lap before answering. "What are your
feelings for me?"

     "I love you. You know that. I've told you that."

     "But... but... we can't be lovers."

     Shinji sighed and clasped her hand tighter. "No... we can't. But I
still love you... no matter what."
s
     Tears came to Rei's eyes and she leaned over and gave Shinji a
tender kiss.

     "Hey!! Knock that out!!" the police officer shouted from the front
seat.

     Rei and Shinji jumped apart, their faces flush with embarrassment.

     "So much for your brother and sister story." The police officer
huffed and went back to driving.

     "Sorry," Rei muttered, without looking at Shinji.

     "No... it's okay. Now about that letter...?"

     Rei sighed. "You'll hate me."

     "No, I won't," Shinji said without hesitating.

     Rei swallowed hard and slowly worked up the nerve to tell Shinji.
She avoided looking at him when she finally spoke. "Back when I lived
down here in Osaka-2, I had a boyfriend."

     "That Hasamoto guy, right?"

     Rei nodded. "Yeah... well things got pretty crazy at the end."

     Shinji could see the pain in her eyes as she said that. "You don't
have to talk about his causing your miscarriage if you don't want to..."

     "That... was part of it, but what I ended up doing was..."

     "Was?"

     "Shinji, remember that I love you no matter what. Okay?"

     "I do, Rei. Please just tell me."

     "After I lost the baby... I was devastated. I loved it, even if it
was the baby of that.... that..."

     "Koi pond-scum sucking Neanderthal?"

     Just as Shinji had hoped, Rei smiled slightly. "You've met him?"

     Shinji chuckled.

     "Anyway, I was growing fond of the idea of giving birth when I told
him about the baby and that's when... you know." She lowered her voice
further to avoid the police office hearing. "After I got out of the
hospital, I kind of snapped and... tried to kill him."

     Shinji stammered out a question. "H... how?"

     "I went over to his place while he was sleeping. I... stabbed him
with a knife and... did some other stuff."

     "Apparently he survived. Um... what other stuff?"

     "Well... I carved some characters on his body and... tried to
remove a certain appendage."

     Shinji gulped and covered his groin. "He must be a pretty sound
sleeper to sleep though that."

     Rei nodded. "He is, but he woke up right when I started cutting it.
I'd probably be in jail right now if I succeeded." She glanced at the
police office. "Alone."

     Shinji shuddered at the picture that formed in his mind of her
doing that. "I'm... surprised he didn't press charges."

     "Well... I think he was too embarrassed to show the evidence."

     "Evidence?"

     "Well, let's just say I at least wanted to warn any girl who would
be foolish to sleep with him exactly what kind of man he was. So I
carved some very embarrassing characters on his body that expressed my
true feelings for him. I'm fairly certain they are still visible."

     "Marked for life... that's not so bad. He deserved it."

     "Maybe, but you don't."

     Shinji gulped and went pale when he remembered the letter. "So...
that's what he meant when he wrote that he would do to me what you
started to do to him?" A certain oak tree shriveled up and tried its
best to hide itself inside Shinji's body.

     "Yes. I was trying to get some money to hire some people I know to
get him to leave us alone... but now... At least I don't think he can
hurt us if we're in jail."

     "Rei... I... I wish you'd have trusted me to help you get out of
this. Hiring some thugs to beat him up wouldn't solve anything."

     "I'm sorry..."

     Shinji pulled Rei into a tight embrace. "Never think you have to
face these things alone... I'm always here for you."

     Rei wiped a tear out of her eye and leaned in to kiss Shinji. She
didn't care about the police officer seeing them kiss anymore. But fate
had other ideas.

     Suddenly, the car shook violently as the police officer slammed on
the brakes. "Shit!!"

     The sudden stop caused Shinji and Rei to be thrown forward and hit
their heads on the back of the front seat. When they looked up they
gasped in unison at the giant purple foot that had appeared in front of
the car. On the side of the giant foot the Nike swoosh logo was
emblazoned.

     "What the..." Shinji craned his neck to look up the purple leg and
gasped when he saw the huge purple robot towering over them. "It's...
Unit One!!"

     Rei gasped at the same time and blinked a few times in
astonishment. "I... I... can't believe it. The Evas aren't real!"

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     Shinji shook himself out of his trance and collapsed onto the
theater floor. "No... no... no..."

     Rei knelt down and wrapped her arms around Shinji to comfort him.
"Shinji... what's happening?" She seemed even more startled by Unit
One's appearance than Shinji.

     "How the hell should I know! I tried to make sure that the Evas and
Angels would never be real again... I can't believe that world has
collapsed to the point where reality has intruded on it."

     Misato strode up to him. "Really, Shinji? Why is that so
surprising?"

     "Huh?"

     "You made that world. Why wouldn't what you consider 'real' intrude
on it?"

     "Because I never wanted to see or touch another real Eva! I don't
want anything to do with those killing machines ever again!!"

     "Then why did you put the V.R. Eva game in there?" Misato gestured
at the viewpoint.

     "I... I... I don't know!" Shinji buried his head in his hands. "I
don't remember putting the V.R. game in there in the first place. I
can't figure out how that world got to this point from my original idea
for it. I..."

     Rei handed him the storyboards containing the foundation for
Shinji's world. "Here. You can start over."

     "I tried that last night, didn't I?"

     "Yes, but your heart may have accepted it after we kissed."

     Shinji blushed. "Well... err..."

     Misato glared down at Shinji. "You kissed my daughter?"

     "Um... err... yes."

     "No, I kissed him."

     Misato seemed torn between having a talk with her daughter and
tearing Shinji a new one. Her concern for her daughter won out. "Rei, we
need to have a talk." Misato pulled her daughter away.

     Shinji watched then leave. He sighed and then looked back at the
viewpoint. "Damn... where the hell did that Eva came from?"

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     The foot moved away, strangely silent. Shinji had always imagined
that a real Eva would make an enormous amount of noise when it moved,
not to mention tearing up the pavement. Unlike the game Evas, this one
didn't.

     The police officer threw the siren on and grabbed the hand mike.
"This is unit twenty-four. I am in pursuit of a giant purple robot." He
drove off in pursuit.

     The radio crackled. "Um... can you repeat that unit twenty-four?"

     The police officer sighed. "You heard me. I am in pursuit of a
giant purple robot about twenty meters tall. It's headed southward on
Sakura street."

     "Understood, we will dispatch additional units to assist you."
After a brief pause, the speaker continued. "Looks like old Anno's lost
it for good this time."

     A second voice was heard over the radio. "Turn off your mike,
idiot!"

     Officer Anno tried to ignore what he just heard and instead craned
his neck to try and see the top of the giant robot. "This is the
weirdest thing I've ever seen."

     Rei leaned over to Shinji and spoke to him with a slight quiver in
her voice. "Shinji, how can a Eva be real like that?"

     "I... I just don't know, Rei. But I'll protect you no matter what."
He took her handcuffed hand and squeezed it to reassure her.

     The car clipped the side of a Mercedes, causing Officer Anno to
lose control of the car. It skidded to a halt and crashed into a light
pole. Shinji and Rei looked up just in time to see the purple robot move
out of sight behind a tall building. "That is so strange how it doesn't
make any sound." Shinji looked around to make sure Rei was okay. "Rei?"

     "I'm fine."

     The police officer jumped out of the car and ran down to the corner
to see where the fleeing robot was headed.

     Shinji looked around anxiously. "Um... Rei?"

     "Yes, Shinji?"

     "Do you trust me?"

     "Yes, of course I do."

     "I don't want to be separated from you."

     "I know. But after this, I doubt we will be able to see each
other."

     "I'm not so sure." Shinji grabbed Rei's handcuffed hand with his
own and pulled her towards the door the police officer had left open.
Since there wasn't a divider between the front and back seats, he
managed to get over the seat and outside without too much trouble. "I
won't let us be separated... ever."

     "Shinji..."

     Shinji pulled Rei into a tight embrace and gave her a deep kiss.
After the kiss, Rei just stared at Shinji with a stunned look on her
face. "Brother or not, I love you. I can't promise you much, but I can't
be happy without you."

     Rei paused briefly, before coming to the same conclusion.
"Shinji... yes."

     Shinji smiled broadly and then ran off into the night holding the
hand of his lover, who just happened to be his sister. But he was no
longer going to allow his father's stupidity fifteen years ago ruin his
happiness.

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     Shinji collapsed to the floor of the theater again. "Dammit...
they're fugitives from the law again. This can't be happening."

     "But it is. Guess you really love Rei, don'cha?."

     Shinji flinched and looked up at Asuka. "Err... he does
apparently." He pointed a shaky finger at the viewpoint.

     "Fine... then I get you here." Asuka leaned down and gave Shinji a
long kiss. After the kiss ended, she casually wiped her mouth off. "Not
bad, Shinji, but you still have to work on not breathing when you kiss
if you want to do more with me." She winked and casually glanced down at
Shinji's 'reaction' to her kiss.

     Shinji blushed and covered his reaction. He tried to act non-pulsed
when he spoke, but his voice changed pitch several times. "Asuka...
Where... did you come from?"

     "You think you can keep me away forever, do you?"

     "No, I guess not. Well, if it means anything to you... my perfect
world is in shambles."

     "Told y..." Asuka trailed off and avoided saying the snappy
comeback that came to her lips. "I'm sorry, Shinji. You can make another
one, can't you?"

     "Maybe..."

     Asuka looked strangely at Shinji. <Why is he still hesitating about
ending that world?>

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     Misato knelt in a far corner of the theater with Rei, who was
kneeling in a very formal position. A position that Misato could never
duplicate. "Rei, why did you kiss Shinji?"

     "Because I love him," Rei said without hesitation.

     "Why do you think you love him?"

     "Why do you love Mr. Kaji?"

     Misato was a little surprised at having her question turned around
by Rei. "Err... it's complicated. He..."

     After a long rambling explanation by Misato, only parts of which
made sense, Rei nodded. "Those are the same reasons why I love Shinji."

     Misato's face fell. "Huh? You can't love him for the same reasons
that I love Kaji for. Especially that finger thing that Kaji does to my
cl... Anyway... what are your reasons for loving Shinji?"

     "The same as yours. I could ramble off the same series of
incoherent thoughts that you did, but in the end it's the same. I love
Shinji because I love him."

     <Incoherent?> Misato frowned. "But... you have to have a reason."

     "Because I love him."

     Misato sighed. "But *WHY* do you love him."

     Rei cocked her head. "Because..." Misato leaned forward in
anticipation of a different answer. "I love him."

     Misato deflated like a tire rolled across a spiky-haired anime
character. "Rei... if you want me to treat your love for him seriously,
you have to at least be able to explain *WHY* you love him." Rei opened
her mouth to speak again. "Without simply saying that you love him."
Rei's mouth closed again.

     Rei seemed to think for several moments before she opened her mouth
again. "Do I have to be able to put it in words in order to love him?"

     Misato thought about that for a moment. "No... but you have to at
least have something you yourself can point to and say 'that is why I
love him'."

     "Oh..." Rei paused and then looked at Misato. "I have plenty of
those."

     Misato's jaw dropped again. "Well, then tell me."

     Rei frowned. "I can't. I don't know how to verbalize it. It's a
feeling deep within me that makes me feel incomplete without him. When
he's near me, I feel whole and at peace. When he is troubled, I am
troubled. When he is sad, I am sad and want to make him happy. When he
is happy, I am happy. Right now... I feel a longing to be near him. I
just don't know how to put that feeling into words. I'm sorry."

     Misato just stared at her daughter for what seemed like an
eternity. Considering the nature of the theater and the post-Third
Impact world, maybe it was. "Rei... I think you just did."

     Rei thought back to her previous words. "But those words don't
really describe what I feel inside, they just touch the surface."

     Misato smiled. "That's the nature of love. Sometimes it can't be
explained fully to other people, but I think you did a fine job."

     "Thank you," Rei replied flatly.

     Since she had never expected to have children, Misato never
expected to be in the position of talking to a daughter about love. She
took a deep breath and looked at Rei. "Now... when a man and woman love
each other, certain things happen and they usually wish to show their
love in physical ways."

     "Sex."

     Misato gulped. "Yes, that is one way. But it's an important step
that shouldn't be rushed into."

     "I've already told him that we have all the time in eternity."

     Misato cracked a smile and looked around. "Yes, our situation here
does tend to make time seem irrelevant, doesn't it? What did you do last
night?"

     "I kissed him and he kissed me back. It was most... stimulating."

     "Just kissing, huh?" Rei nodded. "Well, that's a good start. Why
did you suddenly kiss him last night?"

     "Because Asuka dropped out. Until then, I thought Shinji might have
feelings for her."

     "How do you know he doesn't?"

     Rei seemed confused by the question. "I can tell."

     Misato decided to avoid another long never ending series of
questions about why she can tell. Instead, she decided it was as good as
time as any to explain the birds and the bees to her daughter. Later,
she would come to regret that decision.

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     Officer Anno shot round after round into the giant purple robot.

     A group of obviously drunk men were laughing and making rude
comments to the police officer. "Hey, you can't kill no... hic... giant
purple robot with a little itty bitty gun like that!"

     "Yeah!!! Don'cha know you need a bazooka or a big laser canon to
battle giant robots?"

     "Don't forget the secret giant robot the government always seems to
find at the last minute to save the world."

     "Yeah... hic... gotta find the secret hideout of the evil scientist
and use the prototype robot to battle the purple one he's using to take
over the world!"

     "What color would that one be?"

     "Salmon pink."

     "What!! What kind of... hic... color is that for a giant robot...
it's got to be a cool color like red... or maybe blue."

     "Ick... Moss green would be better."

     "You're color blind..."

     "So... wassa ya gonna to do about it!"

     The drunk just stared at his friend for a few seconds before puking
all over him.

     "Hey!!"

     "You know what?"

     "What?"

     "That's a nice color on you."

     "Shut up!"

     Officer Anno reloaded his gun and fired off another round. He
briefly wondered if he could spare a few bullets on the drunks.

     The pukee studied the position of the policeman and the robot for a
few seconds. "Hey, don't the little policemen usually get crushed by the
giant robots when they try to shoot them?"

     The puker gasped. "Yeah! Let's get out of here!"

     "No! I want to see him get squished." The two drunks looked over at
the policeman.

     "You need a bigger gun?!"

     Officer Anno reloaded his gun again and tried to ignore the drunks
in vain.

     "You call that a weapon? I'll show you a real weapon." The man
pulled down his pants and exposed himself. His weapon was quite...
impressive until the giant purple foot came down on top of him.

     The police officer continued to blaze away. He smiled in triumph
when the robot started to collapse. Then the shadow from the collapsing
robot encased him in darkness. A look of pure horror appeared on his
face and he started to run, but he was quickly covered by the body of
the giant purple robot and pressed into the pavement.

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     Shinji and Rei cowered in a dark alley under some cardboard boxes.
Shinji kept his eyes peeled for signs of trouble although he couldn't
really see anything from where he sat.

     "Shinji?"

     Shinji looked down at the girl he held tightly in his arms. "Yes?"

     "You realize there's no going back now, don't you?"

     "I know. It may have been impulsive, but I just can't stand the
thought of being separated from you. We can't get married or anything...
but we can live together."

     "I love you, Shinji."

     Shinji leaned down to kiss Rei. "Yes, I do too." As his lips
touched hers, the sky opened up and rain started to pour down on them.
The kiss forgotten, they awkwardly got to their feet and ran off to find
some shelter without being caught or spotted by anyone. Considering they
were still handcuffed together, that might prove to be an impossible
task.

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     Police cars screeched to a halt and police officers in uniforms
swarmed out of them. They ran through the rain and towards the fallen
robot, searching for casualties. Suddenly, a movement caught their eye
and they pointed. "Look, over there!"

     They ran to the edge of the giant just as Office Anno crawled out
from under it. "Damn, that was close."

     "You okay?" one of the other officers asked while holding out his
hand.

     Officer Anno took the offered hand and stood up. "Yeah. Guess one
of my bullets hit it."

     "Probably several. But the people who lost the balloon aren't going
to be happy."

     Officer Anno smiled weakly. "Balloon? I thought..." He looked back
at the robot and was a little surprised to see a large expanse of purple
fabric instead of a large purple robot.

     "What? You thought it was a real robot?" on of the cops said,
trying not to laugh.

     "Yeah... sort of. It looked pretty impressive."

     The other officer stifled a laugh. "We just got a report that it
got away from some game center downtown as they were inflating it for
the final days of some big game tournament. They won't be happy that you
shot it."

     "It was self defense."

     The officer couldn't hold back the laughter anymore. "Yeah... sure.
Whatever."

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     Officer Anno stepped out of the police car that had driven him back
to his car. "Shit." He looked into the car and then scanned the area.
"They took off."

     "You didn't lock the car?"

     "I was sort of in shock at seeing the giant robot and all."

     "Well, you got their names, so we can put out an arrest warrant for
them."

     "Actually, there's already a detain for questioning warrant out for
them in Tokyo."

     "Really? Damn shame that two young kids like that have to end up in
jail."

     "They are hardly good kids. They'll get what they deserve."

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     The next morning, Hikari, Touji, and Kensuke stood in the entrance
to the Eva center, looking very worried and nervous. Hikari was next to
Touji and as far away from Kensuke as she could be. She was also
avoiding any and all eye contact with him.

     Kensuke for the most part, was enjoying watching some crumbs on the
floor to avoid looking at Touji. Just being so close to Touji made him
shake in his army boots. The only thing keeping Kensuke from running as
far away from Touji as he could get was the Eva championships. He and
Hikari had sworn never to tell anyone that they had ended up in bed
together the night before. And they were definitely not going to mention
what happened while they were in bed together.

     While Kensuke's main concern for not wanting anyone to find out was
that he didn't want Touji to kill him, Hikari's reason was deeper. She
was devastated that she lost her virginity to Kensuke and not Touji. She
had been so distraught that she cried most of the night and hadn't even
noticed that Rei didn't return to the room that they shared until Asuka
came to pick them up for breakfast.

     Hikari looked at her watch for the millionth time that morning.
"Where could they be?"

     Touji shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Shinji didn't come
back to our new room last night."

     Hikari and Kensuke visibly flinched.

     Trying not to let her voice show the shame she felt inside, Hikari
spoke. "You could have told me you guys moved to a new room!"

     "Yeah!!" Kensuke blurted.

     Touji frowned at their unusual concern over the switched rooms.
"Well... I'm so sorry that Shinji backed up the pluming! Kensuke found
the new room eventually. And I'm sorry I missed our date, Hikari."

     Hikari clenched her teeth. <If you knew what happened you'd really
be sorry. Because of you I... I...>

     Any further conversation about the events of the previous night was
interrupted when Asuka stormed into the Eva center. "They are still not
at the hotel! And I can't reach either of their parents in Tokyo-3."

     "I'm starting to get worried," Hikari said.

     "Yeah..." the two boys agreed.

     "So what do we do about the Eva game today?" Kensuke mentioned.

     Asuka sighed. "I don't think we can win with just the four of us.
What the hell could have happened to those two? Shinji really pisses me
off sometimes. If he had been more assertive, what happened last
night..." She trailed off to avoid talking about last night.

     A leer appeared on Touji's face. "Did something happen with you and
Shinji last night?"

     Asuka smashed her purse over Touji's head. "NO!!" Inside she wished
that it had been Shinji. <Hell, I'd rather fuck Kensuke than that old
fossil Misato's dating... although I guess he's kind of cute. And it did
feel great. The feeling of his hands on my breasts. The heat from
his...> She unsuccessfully tried to hide the blush that appeared on her
face.

     Touji smirked as his suspicions seemed to have been confirmed. <I
bet they did it... and Shinji was so freaked at his lame performance he
ran off to join the circus. Damn, Shinji beat me to it then. Well, I'll
be next for sure.>

     While Touji was jumping to all the wrong conclusions, one of the
Eva tournament organizers approached them. She was a teenager just
slightly older than they were. "Dark Eva Knights? Your match is
scheduled for two o'clock this afternoon in Central Dogma. You can use
the entry plugs in launch bay five until one o'clock for training if you
like."

     Hikari nodded. "Thank you. Um... a couple of our players are
delayed. Is it possible to get a later start time if they don't show
up?"

     The girl shook her head. "No, 'fraid not. You'll have to either
forfeit, use two more drones, or you can add replacements for the two
drones you are already using. But those replacements will have to play
the rest of the tournament matches."

     "I see... thank you." Hikari looked back at the gang, except for
Kensuke. "Guess we'll have to use drones if they don't show up."

     Asuka fumed. "We'll be massacred! We've barely managed to win so
far using two drones... four? Even a inexperienced pilot would be
better."

     "Okay, you brats... we're leaving!"

     They all looked around to see a very angry Misato in the doorway. A
very tired looking Kaji hobbled up behind her. His legs were bowed, as
if he was very sore between his legs. Considering the number of times
Asuka had kicked him there the night before, he was lucky to be standing
at all.

     Hikari was the first to speak. "Miss Katsuragi?"

     "You heard me. This little trip is cancelled. We're going back to
Tokyo-3."

     Asuka avoided looking at Kaji. "Why? What's wrong? Did something
happen to Shinji and Rei?"

     The others all added their concern after Asuka's question.

     Misato glared at Asuka, but answered. "They had some... problems
last night. As far as I know they are okay. I just talked to their
parents and they indicated it was unlikely that they would be playing
your little games with you anymore."

     "What's going on?" Hikari asked, worried.

     "Their parents are heading down here now and asked me not to go
into details. That's all I can tell you."

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     Later when waiting for their mid-day train, the gang ate lunch near
the train station. Misato was in another booth yelling at Kaji for
something that he did last night. Only Asuka knew what that was, but she
wasn't about to spill the details.

     "What could that guy have done that made her so mad?" Kensuke
asked, watching Misato's breasts bounce with each shout.

     "How would I know!!" Asuka blurted, then blushed and sunk into her
seat.

     The others looked a bit oddly at her, but then went on with their
lunch conversation.

     "Damn, I hope Shinji is alright." Touji shoved a handful of fries
into his mouth.

     "Me too. But I still wish we didn't have to give up the
championships." Kensuke glanced at the binder that he kept all his Eva
specs and game materials in with a longing look. His gaze moved to a
waitress who was bending over nearby. His eyes silently shifted between
his two current passions: Eva and girls. He caught sight of Hikari's
glare and quickly looked at the hamburger on his plate to avoid getting
aroused. <Hmmm... the slit between the patties looks a little like...>
He absentmindedly prodded the patties with a knife.

     Hikari huffed. <What is with that boy? Checking out other girls
when he has me...> She almost choked on her tongue at the disturbing
thought. <What am I saying!!> She tried to hide the blush that came to
her face.

     Touji finally reached a conclusion about what he thought they could
do. "You know guys... Kensuke is right. I don't know what's going on
with Rei and Shinji, but I think they'd hate it if we just gave up on
the championships."

     "But how can we possibly win with just the four of us?" Asuka
asked.

     "We can't." Touji's eyes drifted towards Kaji and Misato.

     Asuka was the first to protest. "No way!! I won't play with..." She
caught herself just in time from mentioning Kaji and the string of
expletives that's always came to mind when she thought or looked at him.
"...amateurs like those."

     Kensuke seemed to consider this. "They might be better than drones
and Misato does know how to handle a joystick pretty well." A very vivid
image formed in Kensuke's mind of Misato servicing his 'joystick'.

     Touji frowned. "Huh? How do you know that?"

     "Um... I heard her talking once."

     Touji grinned broadly. "I bet she's has lots of experience with
them, but not the ones you use for Eva." He winked.

     "You idiot!! That's not what Kensuke meant!" Hikari glanced at
Kensuke. <At least it had better not be what he meant. If he let someone
else touch it...> Hikari again had to scold herself for thinking like
Kensuke was her boyfriend. <Get a hold of yourself girl... Touji's your
boyfriend, not Kensuke!>

     "It's either play with them, play with just the four of us and four
drones, or go home and live with the whole school calling us quitters."
Touji hoped that last statement would energize her team.

     "Hey! Who said we quit! Shinji and Rei maybe, but not me!"

     "Me either!"

     "I can see the logic of having human players, even inexperienced
players, that we can instruct on where their services are needed the
most. Drones just fire blindly at the enemies and would be useless if
one of us needed assistance. At least with human players we can form
some tactical plans that may give us a slight edge over our
competitors."

     After Kensuke's longwinded response, the other three looked at him
for a few heartbeats before Hikari spoke. "We'll take that as a yes."

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     Asuka lopped off Kaji's head with a long pike. She grinned as she
saw his corpse crash to the ground. She embedded the pike in his groin
and twisted it.

     "Asuka!! Why did you do that?!" Hikari screamed from her entry
plug.

     Asuka flinched. She had let her anger over what Kaji did to her,
and put in her, the night before get the better of her. "I just wanted
him to get the taste of what the weapons are capable of if he's not
careful."

     That seemed to appease Hikari for the moment. "Just don't do it in
the real game. Now, we only have another hour in these entry plugs for
training so let's start on some tactics."

     "I think Misato's still trying to get the basics down," Asuka
mentioned and looked over at Misato in her red Eva Unit five. At the
moment it was running full speed, but since it was wedged into a crack
in a wall it wasn't going anywhere fast.

     Hikari sighed. <We're doomed.> She looked over and saw that Kaji
had regenerated. "Okay, Kaji, remember that you don't regenerate in
tournament play. You get killed and you're no use to us."

     "Yeah.... whatever. Do I really have to do this?" Kaji said, slowly
walking across the battlefield. He seemed to have walking mastered until
he tripped over a tanker truck. Both the truck and Kaji's Eva were
engulfed in a huge fireball.

     Hikari and Asuka sighed in unison.

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     "I still don't know why we have to do this, Honey," Kaji said,
trying to be as charming as possible. "This is very dangerous for a man
in my position. I could easily be seen by the press or..."

     Misato sighed. "Well, it's your own fault for fucking that little
redhead last night! Look before you fuck next time!!"

     "I'm sorry... I thought you had a room alone."

     "You are such a moron..."

     "Yes, dear."

     Asuka stormed up to Kaji and Misato. "You guys had better be better
than that in the real game, or I will cut your head off for real!!"

     "That's no way to talk about adults!" Misato scolded her student.

     Asuka glared at Misato. "Look... I don't like this either, but I
want to win this championship and that means we need some players who
can take orders."

     "Yes, but..." Kaji's complaint was quickly silenced by Asuka's next
statement.

     "But nothing! If you don't, then the story about a certain mayoral
candidate fucking a pure and innocent teenager will be all over the
news."

     "You wouldn't..."

     "I would." The look Asuka gave them indicated she wasn't bluffing.

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     "So, the man inserts his penis and rocks back and forth to
stimulate the clitoris and his own penis?"

     "Yes."

     "I see. What happens next?"

     "Orgasm."

     "I see. "

     "Well, actually, you usually can't see much during that since the
feeling is so intense that you usually shut your eyes at the sensation.
Actually, I blacked out entirely once back in college, but that might
have been due to the dru..."

     "Is it that painful?"

     "Yes and no. Your first time will usually be painful, but if he
does it right, it'll end in ecstasy."

     "Can you show Shinji how to do it right then?"

     "Rei!!"

     "What?"

     "Don't you want Shinji's and your first time to be the same?"

     "Yes."

     "Well, then I can't really show him, can I?"

     "No, I guess not. Can you at least explain it to him?"

     Sweat dripped form Misato's forehead. "I'll... think about it, Rei.
But I'll have to take some time to recover from this talk first."

     "I understand," Rei said calmly.

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     Shinji and Rei huddled together in an old warehouse. Rainwater
seeped through holes in the roof and splashed all around them. They sat
in an office overlooking the warehouse floor, shivering from the cold
breeze that assaulted their exposed skin. Shinji's pants, Rei's
halter-top, and her skirt hung nearby drying. Shinji's shirt hung on the
chain of the handcuff, since he couldn't take it all the way off with
the cuffs on.

     "Are they dry yet?" Rei asked.

     Shinji reached up and felt the pants and skirt. "Nope." He sat back
down and drew Rei back into his arms. They squirmed a bit, trying to
find a position that both of their arms were comfortable. The handcuffs
didn't make this easy. "Ouch..." he grabbed his wrist and rubbed it.

     "Sorry."

     Shinji shook his head. "No, it's not your fault. The cuff is
chafing me."

     "When the rain stops and it gets darker, I know someone who can get
us out of them."

     Shinji looked at her appraisingly and idly fingered a strand of
hair with his free hand. "You've had a rough life, haven't you?"

     "Yes..." She snuggled closer to him. "...but it's looking better."

     "Um... being on the run from the law is better?"

     "If it's with you, it is."

     Shinji smiled. He leaned down and kissed Rei. Using his un-cuffed
hand, he caressed her face as their tongues danced with each other.

     After the kiss ended, Shinji casually started to pull back from
Rei.

     Rei wasn't willing to stop at a kiss. "No..." She pulled Shinji
back to her and started nibbling on his neck. She worked her way down
his chest and then looked for an oak tree in his shorts. She found it
without any trouble.

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

Excerpt from 'The American Century Dictionary' - 1999 edition:
chafe v. 1 make or become sore or damaged by rubbing 2 make or become
annoyed; fret

Excerpt from 'Asuka's Guide to the Post-Third Impact World' - 1st
edition:
chafe v. 1 make or become sore by having Shinji's penis inside me 2 make
or become annoyed because Shinji won't pop my cherry

Excerpt from 'Shinji's Guide to the Post-Third Impact World' - 2nd
edition:
chafe v. 1 ain't going to happen, Asuka 2 make or become annoyed with
Asuka's constant nagging and yelling

Excerpt from 'Rei's Guide to the Post-Third Impact World' - written by
her kind and caring (if a little overprotective) mother:
chafe v. 1 foreplay will help to lubricate the vagina to prevent chafing
2 make or become annoyed if Shinji even thinks of touching my daughter

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     "Whoopie... their second time," Asuka said flatly. "It'd be a lot
more interesting if he'd fuck me now. Variety is the spice of life, you
know." She examined the rather intense scene on the viewpoint. She
suddenly tilted her head to follow the action.

     Rei tilted her head as well, but in the opposite direction for some
reason. "I don't think he will do that."

     Asuka looked over to Rei and frowned. "What are you doing?"

     Rei looked up from the notepad she was taking notes in. "Just doing
some research."

     "Research?"

     "For when I have sex with Shinji."

     Asuka's jaw dropped. "Huh? Don't tell me you're actually going to
collect on our bet?"

     Rei shook her head. "No. My mother suggested I have sex with
Shinji."

     Asuka raised an eyebrow. "I doubt that. You're probably reading too
much into something innocent she said."

     "She said two people in love should have sex."

     "Ha! Well, Shinji loves me, so you're out of luck."

     "No, he doesn't."

     Asuka looked back at the viewpoint where Rei has Shinji's oak tree
firmly under control. "If you're so sure that he loves you, then why
don't you try doing what your other self is doing right now?"

     "Should I?"

     "Yeah... I'm sure Shinji would love it." Asuka started to laugh,
since she knew Rei would never do something like that. <Would she?>

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     A pair of handcuffs rattled in the tiny office. A pair of panties
arced through the air. A pair of boxers followed soon after. And finally
a bra slid down a slender arm and dangled from the aforementioned
handcuffs.

     Shadows of two people in love danced on the wall. Despite sharing a
father, they were brother and sister no more. They were lovers, through
and through.

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     Shinji snapped out of his trance and looked around confused.
"What's that odd sensation?" He caught sight of Asuka, who was several
meters away and looking at him with a shocked look on her face. "What's
wrong, Asuka?"

     "Look down, you idiot!!"

     Shinji looked downwards. His jaw dropped and his eye started to
twitch uncontrollably when he saw what Rei was doing to his mighty oak.
"Rei..." he gasped, but it was barely audible. A warm feeling rushed up
his body that was most... pleasurable.

     Rei continued her... activity while Asuka looked on horrified and
strangely aroused. <I never thought the clone would really do it... she
is so weird.>

     Shinji shuddered and then swallowed in order to clear the lump in
his throat. "Rei... please stop."

     Rei pulled back, swallowed, and looked up at Shinji. "Huh? Asuka
said you'd like it."

     Shinji glared at Asuka. "Well, Asuka was making a bad joke." He
waved her hand to dismiss her.

     Asuka vanished from the theater, not happy about being forced to
leave just when things were getting interesting.

     "So you didn't like it?"

     Shinji blushed. "Err... um... yeah, I guess it was nice, but I
don't think... that... you know... it's not the right time... well..."

     "So, I should continue then?" Rei made to resume her task, but
Shinji stopped her.

     "No..." Shinji helped Rei to her feet and looked at her eyes.
"Um... maybe you should talk to your mother about this."

     "I did. She said that two people in love use sex to express their
love."

     Shinji blushed. "I know you think you love me, but... I don't know
how to respond to that." He cringed at the outcome of the last person...
the only other person to tell him that they loved him. <Why did you put
me in that situation, Kaworu? Why...>

     A tear came to Rei's eye. "So you hate me?"

     Shinji gasped. "No... of course not. I... just don't know what to
make of all this. Everything has gotten so weird suddenly."

     "Here or in your perfect world?"

     "Both." Shinji let out a long sigh and dropped to the floor and sat
cross-legged.

     "Um... I have to talk to my mother." Rei looked confused as she
scurried off leaving Shinji alone.

     Shinji plopped down onto his back and looked at the ceiling. After
starring at it for something short of an eternity, he spoke. "We have
GOT to paint that damn ceiling!!"

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     Shinji slid off Rei, wiping the sweat off his forehead. "I love
you, Rei."

     Rei smiled peacefully. "I've missed your touch."

     "Yeah... I still feel awkward doing it with my sister, but..."

     "I could tell. It was still great." Rei gave Shinji a long kiss and
then tried to locate her panties.

     Suddenly, they were bathed in bright light from outside followed by
the sounds of a helicopter hovering nearby panning a searchlight around
the overcast area.

     Shinji looked around. "What the?"

     An amplified voice came from outside the warehouse. "Come out with
your hands up. We have you completely surrounded!!"

     "It's the cops!!" Rei stood up suddenly and looked around. "This
way!!" She grabbed Shinji's handcuffed hand and ran towards the back
door.

     Within a few seconds, they were outside and running down a back
alley.

     Shinji finally managed to say something. "Rei, we forgot our
clothes!!"

     Rei looked down at their naked bodies and laughed. "You look great,
don't worry about it."

     Shinji couldn't help laughing at the situation he found himself in:
Running naked down the street handcuffed to his half-sister who he had
just had the greatest sex imaginable with. Well, it was only his third
time, so he still had a lot to learn. Handcuffs were for beginners,
after all.

     Everyone knew professionals used leather straps.

                    -E-           -V-           -A-

     Next door to the warehouse that Shinji and Rei had just run out of,
the cops swarmed into another old warehouse and busted up the drug lab
housed within.


[End - Garden of EVA 1:5 - Handcuffs Suck (and Chafe Too)!]
=======================================================================

Author's notes/ramblings:


Yeah, I know you want the details of Rei and Shinji's second time.
Sorry, no lemon side-story for this one. Or the previous part, for that
matter.


I'd like to thank my pre-readers Robert Wurtsmith, Thomas C. Kinnen,
David Johnston, Axel Terizaki, Justin D. Baugh, and Michael A. Chase for
helping me find and fix problems with this story. FFML members C. Jones
and EeL were also helpful in fine tuning this story. Thank you all. Of
course in the end, any mistakes and botched characters are my fault.


Revision 0.0 - Initial draft (July 1, 1999)
Revision 0.1 - Pre-reader draft (August 24, 1999)
Revision 0.2 - FFML draft (September 2, 1999)
Revision 1.0 - Final version (September 19, 1999)

-=-
Jim Lazar

E-Mail - mailto:jimlazar@earthlink.net
FanFiction - http://home.earthlink.net/~jimlazar/anime
-=-
     Kasumi found her father cradling her mother in his arms. He
had run out of tears to shed long ago, but the expression on his face
told the story.
     After several minutes of silence, Soun asked with a scratchy
voice, "Kasumi dear. Will you please say goodbye to your mother?"
     "Of course, Father," Kasumi said. She stood up, took one of her
mother's hands in hers, and said a soft, "Goodbye, Mother. I'll keep
my promise."
-=-
Excerpt from: Ranma-ototo: Please Save My Family