Just got back into my room after being locked out of my house for half
an hour. And no, I'm not gonna take out my frustrations on the fic.
<G>
The other two lawyers represented the actors and were from the
law firm of Izzat, Reilly, and Sough.
Is that really so?
My character, for instance, has had
more than a year to explore both sides of the gender equation and the
most he can ever say about the difference between men and women is that
he doesn't want to be a girl?
Extra space in the last line.
The lawyers taking her words at face value asked, "Very well we will ask
to have you portrayed as a more normal great grandmother. Anything
else?"
"Very well, we will
"A good sex scene would be nice.
The mind boggles.
"If you can't do that, how about letting me be the villain?
These are complaints about fanfiction cliches, yes? She's been portrayed
as the villain more than a few times. Hearts of Ice being the first
example to spring to mind.
"Ya know? I'm, like, really, really tired of talkin like some
Shakespeare squonk. If I gotta spout some dumb poetry junk, Why can't I
use somethin cool? Like, somethin out a Mad magazine or somethin. " The
Extra space before that last quotation mark.
"Eh? I don't gotta problem widda way I be wroten. I only wish I could
get de keikki and da wahini ta act properly when dey at da school."
Everyone edged slightly away from him as he spoke. They guessed that
his submersion acting technique had gone a little too far.
Method acting gone awry *shudder*
The actor who plays Ukyou now spoke up. "Youse guys oughta know dat I
hate soundin like a hick from da sticks. Hows about lettin me use my
New Yawk accent? I'm sure da more erudite readers would appreciate da
culture."
Actor or actress? And *shudder*
Feeling smart, the senior lawyer for DCH said, "Please refer to my
earlier answer for the position of our client in regards to your
complaint."
Hehe
The short-haired young woman tearily cried, "Do you know how hard it is
to act like an Ice Queen, caring for nothing buut money?
but money
"I liked playing a girl so different from myself when I started. She
was physical, strong, and very independent. However, just because she
physical, strong and very
When she finished,
she folded her hands in her lap and shyly looked down at her knees.
*chuckle* Some of these characterizations are too funny.
"We'll see what we can do." Everyone in the room spoke the words as the
senior lawyer began to speak.
lol
Worst of all," his voice rose in absolute disgust, "I've had to make love
to women! I had explicitly demanded no love scenes in my contract!" He
shivered delicately as he finished.
When did he make love to a woman let alone more than one? The show begins
after Ranma's birth...
"In the title role of Ranma Saotome, we have garnered the services of
Jackie Chan. He is the only currently working actor who has both the
comedic and martial skills to pull off the part."
Nice.
"Jackie has agreed to reshoot the training scene for the new opening
credits. Thus, we will not need an actress to play the female Ranma."
"Does he know about the curse?" The pig-tailed man half-asked,
half-wondered aloud.
"It's in his contract."
"It was in mine, too. Does he know about the curse?" The actor frowned
at the lawyer.
Oooh, evil.
"Playing Happosai will be Robin Williams. He is a little young and tall
for the part, but I am assured that in the animefication process that
can be remedied."
"Hunh? How dare they replace me with a younger man!" The affected
actor was livid.
Now this one I don't really get.
"Cologne will be replaced by Betty-Chan wrapped in mummy rags. Phyllis
Diller will voice her. Our marketing group has determined that no one
will notice the change," the senior member of the DCH team laughed a
little at the image playing in his mind.
Heh
"HOW DARE THEY REPLACE ME WITH A MAN!" She stood up with her fists on
the table. "I'll have you know that only a real woman could play
Nodoka." She sat down in a huff. "A man," she disgustedly murmured as
she crossed her arms across her breasts.
Certainly be room for irony if she still demands that her son be a man
among men! ;)
"Hey! That's ,like, an awful choice man," Tatewaki's actor complained.
That's, like, and awful
Ignoring the comment, the young lawyer droned on, "The actor we have
retained to play Kodachi Kuno will be the same actor that currently is
seen playing Jinnai from 'The Wanderers'. Yes, we know he is male, but
that's not really much of a problem in this show is it? And, he already
has your laugh down pat."
I've only seen the OAV, are the two Jinnai's very different?
With a very light giggle, Kodachi's current actress asked, "Is he aware
that the character is female?"
"It's in his contract," the DCH lawyer answered her.
Paragraph 17, Sub-Article 34, Amendment 2. I havn't seen Slayers but
what about Naga?
"We're being replaced by crash dummies?" The four actors looked at each
other in shock.
Mwahahahahaha
The character Mousse will be replaced by a rejuvenated
Mr. Magoo. We feel that he can adequately display all of Mousse's
characteristic mannerisms."
I'm thinking that sizewise, he's closer to Happi... Course, there
was that movie with Leslie Nielsen...
"Are you seriously trying to make into some sort of cartoon figure?"
his actor angrily demanded.
The senior partner of DCH simply stared at Mousse. The junior waited
for a few monents and then continued.
I love some of these deadpan moments.
"I told you that she's become nothing more than a thing!"
hehehe
'My name is Nabi-Key, will you be my sucker?'" the young barrister
LOLOL and there's an extra space after the quote mark.
"Last but not least, we get to the character Akane Tendo. She will be
portrayed by," he paused taking the time to look at each actor in the
room. They all looked at him with some degree of horror. He smiled in
triumph. "no less than a T-1000 from the 'Terminator 2' movie.
Oi, evil. I like it. <G>
"great! I knew they would see reason. You two are still coming over
tonight?" The elder from DCH asked his colleagues.
"Great!
Well, that was funny and a nice way to point out some of the cliche's
that have popped up over time. Would be funny to see at least one episode
done ala Angus MacSpon's Replacement Ranma. Especially the T-1000.
Warr
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My neice's drama class was discussing Titanic. While the
girls were quick to relate their sadness, none of the boys
would venture a responce. The teacher then singled out a boy
in the back of the room.
"John," she asked, "didn't the movie have the same effect
on you?"
"No, it didn't," John replied. "I don't get 'emotion
sickness.'"
September 1999 Readers Digest