Hola,

Ninja Chronicle

I thought this was untitled?  I don't generally read untitled stories but
because this was Ninja Scroll, well...  :)  All comments are strictly my
own opinion and should be taken cum grano salis.

Far be it a mortal's duty to try to declare who is right and who 
is wrong in any conflict, be it mortal or immortal conflict - regardless of 
how impartial that mortal may be.  

This sentence is a bit too long.  See if you can't break it up a little.

There simply is no man, woman, or child - or eevn an immortal god or goddess 
- that possesses the ability to truly seperate right and wrong and know who is
right or who is wrong in all conflicts.

man, woman or child 
even an immortal 
separate

You could separate the fragments using commas instead of dashes as they break
the flow imo.

	Women were weeping along the streets and around the small village as Jubei 
walked towards the array of houses by the shore.  

Nitpick-  houses arrayed by the shore.

Women shed bitter tears that trickled down their gaunt faces, followed 
suit by their daughters and their sons as Jubei neared outskirts of the 
village.  

bulky sentence:  followed by their daughters and sons as

They seemed to line the streets towards the giant shrine in the center of the 
village, and so Jubai quietly slipped along the walk by the houses and paused 
for a while.

Jubei
  

	Jubei watched the boy run off into the crowd, to join his family in 
mourning.  The young boy looked rather thin for a boy his age.  

Repeated 'boy' a couple times.  Suggest child or young man.

Around flowed a small moat filled with equally small koi.  

This sentence doesn't work by itself.  Suggest:  A small moat flowed around
the shrine filled with...

	A full hour went by before the people slowly filed back out of the shrine, 

You've used filed a lot throughout the story.  Queue, line, procession...

walking back to their houses, silent save for the sniffling and choked sobs 

sniffling and choked are two separate tenses <I think>  
sniffles and choked off sobs?

A small band of pearls adorned her 
hair, wrapping around the base of a small bun, held in place by two short 
sticks thrust through the mass of jet-black hair.  

Change wrapping to wrapped to stay in the same tense.

	"You seek Eishin-sensei for training in iaijustsu, young man?" the woman 
called after he'd taken a few steps.

Wot is iaijustsu?

	"We will pay you if you are willing to do a poor village a favor," the 
woman continued.

suggest 'our poor village'

	"This is fairly sudden," Jubei said casually.
	"You seem to be a skilled swordsman," the woman said with a small smile.

Stretching lazily and getting lost all point to that fact, yeah...  ;)

	"Not really.  I just dabble, ne," Jubei replied with a grin.
	"No man that merely dabbles would call Eishin-sensei a funny old man," the 
woman countered.

"No man who

	"Why not go to Eishin's dojo  Surely there are enough manly men there to 
help you," Jubei said with a sigh.

Need punctuation after dojo.

	"Because you're standing there with a sword and you called Eishin a funny 
old man."

I realize she's desperate but she needs another line of argument here.

Our men have tried to go fish, but those that leave rarely come home.  

Go fish... your turn.  Seriously though, that seems like it could be
phrased better, though I can't think of how.

Our people are afraid to fish, or even go near the waters that gave us life 
before.  We can barely manage enough food to survive this season, let along 
when winter comes," the woman explained sadly.

let alone when

Our daughters that left to wash their clothes said 
they could see brothers and husbands trapped beneath the waves, struggling 
to free themselves."

How much later did the daughters leave to wash their clothes?  A week, a
month?

	"Everything, of course," the woman said in exasperation.  "Our daimyo gives 
us extra gold for the extra fish we bring him.  

I'd lose the first extra.  Or use a thesaurus for another word.

We buy the food that sustains our village.  Without the fish, we will not 
be able to please the daimyo, and my people will not see the prosperity it 
knew before."

Not to poke fun at her plight, but if they were a successful fishing village
before, you'd think they would eat a little fish themselves.

	"Let me get this straight," he said while scratching his head idly.  "You 
want me to find the person who poisoned the food, that upset the gods of the 
sea, that give you your bounty, so your village can live another season?"

The person/creature who poisoned the food doesn't give them their bounty afaik.
Break that into two sentences or rephrase it...

	Jubei sat in a small makeshift hut that stood at the edge of the village.  
He leaned againt one of the wood walls, his eyes closed, wondering just what 
he'd let his heart lead him into this time.  He'd been duped into helping 
someone before, and he'd let his heart take control of the situation.  Now a 
woman he'd loved was dead, his pride shattered, and his normally 
compassionate outlook on life hardened to stone.

You use he'd a lot in here.  Break it up with some 'he had's. 
"wondering just where he'd let his heart"

	"I already got your name," Jubei said with a chuckle.  "Are you her second 
in command or something?"
	Kai blinked.

"I'm her lover."

	"Sou ka," Jubei interrupted.  "I'll have to stop by sometime."

Sou ka means what?

	"That?  It's the unfinished armor made from the King of the Eastern Sea," 
Kai replied.

The armor was made from his body or fashioned by him?

Well, it's a start.  Wondering where this is headed now though somehow I'm
thinking
that the husband is still alive.  Also why the servant seemed to slip when she
stated who it was who'd found the King's body.

Looking forward to more.


Warren
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"I'd do anything to pass this exam," an attractive student
told her professor. "And I mean anything," she continued,
leaning towards him and gazing into his eyes.

"Anything?" asked the professor.

"Anything," she confirmed.

"Would you study?" he whispered.