for those who bothered to read whatever heck, don't bother flaming me. it's 
not like i was even trying to make it readable.

And now for your mind numbing displeasure...

Disclaimer: Every word in the following fic has been stolen. For the 
complete works, check out the dictionary.

DIE SAOTOME

Ryouga: Saotome prepare to die! Meet my brother, Dan Hibiki! (Yes, Dan is 
Ryouga's bro'. Another reason for him to be depressed.)

Dan: Ranma Saotome of the clan Saotome. In the name of the Hibiki, I will 
punish you!

Both Ranma and Dan get ready their most powerful attack.

Dan: Oyaji!

Ranma: Hiryu Shoten Ha!

Ranma is killed by the attack. The whole world might have been destroyed by 
the power of the attack if not for the intervention of the gods.

Somebody: Huh? How'd Dan kill Ranma?

Somebody else: Ranma's attack depends on his opponent's power level being 
higher than his. Dan's negative power level naturally turned the move in on 
itself. Good thing the gods did damage control or Dan's non-attack would 
have killed us all.

Fin.

NODOKA'S SHAME

It was finally out. Months of digging by Nabiki confirmed it. The birth of 
the second Saotome child was what sparked it off. When Ranko Saotome was 
born, it was one of the happiest days of Nodoka's life. Right up there with 
Ranma's birth and their reunion.

But now she had to live in shame. Her daughter had red hair. It showed that 
Ranma's red hair in his female form was not caused by the curse. Instead, it 
was hereditary. There was only one of two possibilities, either she had been 
unfaithful, or her samurai blood wasn't as pure as everyone believed. 
Genma's heritage checked out since if it didn't, we'd be calling this 
Genma's Shame. Besides, his bloodline's not important anyway.

Her early years as a campaign supporter for then Arkansas governor Bill 
Clinton and her recent trip to the White House also panned out. And now, the 
moment of truth, liberty and the communist way is at hand. Nodoka Saotome is 
the great-great grand daughter of � to be continued.

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