Just a quick one for your perusal.  Hope you like it.


Ranma 1/2: Wedding Night Adventures

By: Robert Knighton
knighton@scctel.com

Disclaimer:  Ranma and company belong to Takahashi Rumiko and those
to whom she sold the rights.  I don't get any money for this, so please don't
sue me.


-------

Ranma and Akane had NOT been happy.  Their honeymoon flight to the northern
island
had been canceled until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest because of a freak
weather pattern that brought a storm with almost typhoon winds down upon
them.  They couldn't even get a quiet hotel room, because the government had
declared a halt to all non-emergency travel .  THEY thought it was an
emergency,
but the police that escorted them back home when they were only five blocks
away from the nearest hotel  obviously had different ideas.

So they had to put up with their families.  Some more.  And more.  Constantly
butting in on them as they tried to get to bed.  Soun crying his eyes out
about
how his little girl was finally going to become a woman.  Nodoka constantly
trying to give Ranma hints about how he should behave as a "Man among
men", and could they please hurry up and give her a grandchild.  Genma trying
to stay there in panda form with a sign reading <*Don't mind your old pet
panda*>, and Nabiki trying to set up camera equipment to film the event
"for posterity", altho the profits would be nice too.

Finally Ranma'd had enough.  He placed a large pile of disassembled camera
equipment in Nabiki's hands, and told her to go away, or he would tie her to
a stake in her  bikini the next time Happousai came around.  He'd gently told
his mother that if she really wanted grandchildren, they REALLY needed
some peace, so could she help out, and get these people OUT of here?

The fathers he'd challenged to a shogi drinking game.  Then he said that since
they were the wise elders of the clans, they should play first.  Bringing out a
case of sake, he said the rules were simple: first to drink half the
bottles of sake
and stay awake for two hours was the winner, neither could leave the game
until the two hours was over.  Who knew what the other might do to cheat?
Kasumi had just smiled at them and went into her room.

Finally, some peace came over the house.  Not that it was quiet, by any means.

Muffled sounds came from the newlywed's room, some not so muffled.  A few
giggles, some low voiced conversation, a smack.

"Hey! Watch where you're putting your hands, pervert!"

"But honey, we're married now!"

"Oh, yeah."  *giggle*  "Sorry."

"Hmmph!"

Some sighs, a few moans.  You get the idea.  Suddenly the noise reached unheard
of peaks.

"RAANMAA!!!"

"AKANEEE!!"

And a doubled "KIIYAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" (That's funny, where did that bright
flash of light come from?)

Quickly followed by utter pandemonium.

"What's that smell?"

"Gee, I don't know, Akane."

"Smoke!"

"Smoke?!?!"

"Smoke!"

"AHHH!!!  HOT HOT HOT!!"

"Don't just lie there baka, get some water!!"

"Water!  WATER!!  The sheets!! Putitout!! putitout!!"

The sound of running feet going to the bath, and back followed by a
large *Splash*.

"HEY!!" A suddenly soprano voice yelled.   "Watch where that stuff
goes next time!"

"NEXT TIME!!!"  Akane shrieked.  "What makes you think there's ever
going to be a next time!!?  I'm so embarrased!!!  WAAHHH!!"

By this time the entire houshold was gathered at the door.  Inside was a
disaster.  There was smoke everywhere.  The futon was still smoldering,
and the covers were a wadded up mass of soggy ash.  The window was
open to let some fresh air in, and Ranma-onna held a crying Akane in her
lap on the desk chair, with a fresh blanket wrapped around the two of them.

Nabiki, video recorder in hand, took a look around, and grinned like she'd
just found her fortune for life.

"Oi, Sis!!"  She said with a quick off hand wave at the room.   "I've heard of
being hot between the sheets, but THIS...!"

-------

Ok... Ok...  I admit that this is a REALLY quick one shot, but I had the basic
scene come to me, and then "La Femme Nabiki"  came up and whispered
the punch line to me.  I promptly lost it.  Then I had to get it down somehow
so I could cast it out before you.

I was going to see if I could make it better, but I admit defeat.  I am not
very
good at telling a joke.  If you think that you can take the punch line and
make a better joke, feel free.  I'd love to see it.

Thanks to Karaohki and Jarred Mitchell for their comments on the original.

Robert Knighton
13-September-1999


Robert Knighton
knighton@scctel.com

"I don't write for those who already know the universe I created, I write
for those who are discovering it for the first time.  Thus it always seems
fresh and new."

-- Unknown author