Hiya, don't know if any of you guys remember me, but this is the second
draft of a fanfic I've been laboring pretty hard on for awhile now. It's
also the first fic I've released since my leaving a year ago. I'm still
awaiting response from two of my prereaders, but I thought I'd go ahead and
put it out on the FFML for anyone to make a comment on.
Specifically, do you think I should keep this in three chapters, since the
latter two are kind of short? Or should I collapse it down to two, or just
eliminate the chapters altogether? Any other comments anyone is willing to
offer are eagerly accepted by the author, since this is really my first
introspective-type fic and although my prereaders liked it, I'm still a
little edgy about it.
Thanks, and on with the story...
--
"Where do you think you're going?"
"Just follow me."
Kuonji Ukyou scowled darkly, running soundlessly along on the metal
fence behind the boy who had ruined her life, Saotome Ranma. As she had
just discovered, it was Saotome Genma's fault that her life had been
ruined, but Ranma shared in the blame, however unknowingly, and she
couldn't bring himself to forgive him for that. Not yet. Not after all
those years she'd spent, nursing her hatred, waiting for this moment of
vengeance. The moment that should have been her time of glory.
Damn Ranma. He had turned out to be even more skilled than she was,
vastly more skilled. And he had turned the tables on the field of combat,
revealing her true gender, setting her on the run, very nearly defeating her.
And damn his father. Damn her own father for making that accursed
promise. And damn herself for ever showing affection for the cold,
heartless Ranma that she had now realized that he was.
"There it is."
Ukyou looked up from her dark thoughts of mangling Ranma like she'd
mangled Genma, and saw the pigtailed martial artist leaping easily off the
fence and snatching up her bent combat spatula, pulling it with his lean,
well-muscled arms until it was straight and hard again. She scowled again.
What was he doing?
"Here," he said, sighing. "Your spatula." He had a regretful look on
his fine featured face and a faraway appearance in his blue-grey eyes. "I
won't make any excuses." He swallowed slightly, but quickly hid the fact
that he had done so. "Do what ya want to me." He said the last with a
look of stern determination to take his punishment like a man.
-He's done enough to deserve it,- Ukyou noted with a slight growl
emanating from her throat. She chuckled wryly, darkly. "All right
then..." She smiled a small, wicked smile, hefting the steel spatula,
ready to attack. "Expect no mercy! When you abandoned me..." Something -
a tear, though she would have never admitted it - welled up in her eye,
which she quickly blinked away, snarling. "...you made it impossible for
me to ever again embrace my own feminity!" She tightened her grip on the
spatula, charging at Ranma with a furious battle cry.
Ranma flinched. "Uh..." He leaped over her first wild, anger filled
slash, laughing nervously. "Eh-heh...don't ya think you're overreacting?"
"Shut up!" Ukyou screamed, her eyes blazing with furious hatred. She
lowered her voice dangerously as she brought back the weapon for another
attack. "Since that dark day..." She charged. "...I've sworn that I will
never..." She brought the spatula around. "...love another man!" The
spatula sliced through the air so fast that it hummed, its blade slashing a
bare half-inch above Ranma, who nervously ducked under its razor-sharp edge.
Ukyou twirled the weapon and swung it sideways at Ranma, and he nimbly
flipped over it and remarked, "What a waste. A cute girl like you."
And just like that, her life changed forever.
--
Looking hard into your eyes
There was nobody I'd ever known
Such an empty surprise to feel so alone
Now for me some words come easy
But I know they don't mean that much
Compared with the things that are said
when lovers touch
You never knew what I loved in you
I don't know what you loved in me
Maybe the picture of somebody you were hoping
I might be
Awake again, I can't pretend, and I know I'm alone
And close to the end of the feeling we've known
How long have I been sleeping
How long have I been drifting alone
through the night
How long have I been dreaming I could make it right
If I closed my eyes and tried with all my might
To be the one you need
Awake again, I can't pretend, and I know I'm alone
And close to the end of the feeling we've known
How long have I been sleeping
How long have I been drifting alone through the night
How long have I been running for that morning flight
Through the whispered promises and the
changing light
Of the bed where we both lie
Late for the sky
-- Jackson Browne, "Late for the Sky"
+=====+
Nimcha Digital Productions
is proud to present
LATE FOR THE SKY
a Ranma 1/2 fanfic by
George P. Masologites
(2nd Draft)
+=====+
(c) 6 September 1999
Ranma 1/2 was created by Takahashi Rumiko, and is used without permission.
"Late for the Sky" belongs to Jackson Browne and is reprinted without
permission.
All rights reserved. Please do not alter this story without the author's
consent.
1
Looking Hard
As the night set in, the Ucchan closed its doors at ten-thirty on the
dot, as it always did.
It was January, and an exceptionally cold night. It had snowed
earlier, and the roads were now iced over, making travel by car nearly
impossible. Consequently, the streets had been empty most of the day, and,
with the arrival of evening, the stores along the roads had closed down,
one by one, swathing them in darkness, broken here and there by a
streetlight or a neon sign. The wind had picked up as it drew darker, and
Ukyou could hear it whistling quietly outside the restaurant's frosted
windows.
Inside the Ucchan, things were proceeding as usual. Ukyou was cleaning
the okonomiyaki grill carefully, her spatulas neatly arrayed, hanging from
a nearby wall, right underneath a framed picture of her hometown, Kyoto.
Her assistant, Konatsu, was cleaning the dark wooden floors with a broom
and dustpan, meticulously checking to make sure not a speck of dirt
remained. He whistled as he worked, but she did not. Hers was a solemn
countenance, her attactive, well-formed features betraying no hint of
whatever emotion lurked under the surface. Her dark brown eyes, handsomely
shaped, had a slight wistful shine in them, and, perhaps, just a trace of
bitterness lying in their depths.
Though the restaurant was illuminated, the lights were just dim enough
so that Konatsu, as he looked up, caught a glimpse of a darkened figure
walking slowly past the window at the front of the room.
"Ukyou," he called out. His voice was gentle, effeminate, as it always
was.
She looked up.
He pointed to the window. "There's someone there."
She nodded, going back to cleaning the grill.
"You want me to see who it is?" Konatsu asked.
She shrugged. "If you want to." Her voice was rough-edged, boyish,
and carried the same wistful qualities as her eyes.
"Hello," Konatsu greeted the person outside cheerfully, quickly
unlocking and opening the door. A frigid gust of wind blew its way into
the restaurant, but he paid it no mind.
Ukyou caught a brief view of the man outside the door, and her eyes
widened in surprise. A tall man, handsome and muscular, with a bandanna
tied around his head, holding back a shock of dark hair. Ryouga.
"Come in," Ukyou called out, smiling dryly to herself. He'd probably
gotten lost again.
But as Konatsu moved aside and the man stepped into the light, she
could see that it was not Ryouga after all. This man's face was older,
more weathered and haggard than Ryouga's was, and he had a stubble of dark
beard covering his cheeks, where Ryouga was always clean-shaven. His
bandanna was plain, not checkered, and he wore a battered leather jacket
instead of Ryouga's trademark dusty yellow tunic.
"Thank you," he said to her. His voice was like Ryouga's, though; it
was deep, sad, almost lyrical.
She smiled slightly at him. She had a beautiful smile. "No problem."
She looked at his eyes, another feature of his that was nothing like
Ryouga's. Ryouga was a depressed young man, and he'd led a hard life, but
his eyes were always bright, passionate, full of strong emotions and
unattainable ideals, brimming with love, fury, determination, vengeance.
This man's eyes were just...tired. Tired, flat, and lifeless, and his was
the bearing of a defeated man, dreams crushed and ideals shattered; he had
the look of a man existing rather than living, trudging slowly, sadly
through his days, waiting to die.
"Would you like something to eat?" She asked, pity for him rising to
the surface. It would mean that she would have to clean the grill again,
but...
He shook his head, sat down in one of the darkened benches at a booth
near the door, away from the lamplight. "I'm...not hungry," he told her,
placing his pack on the ground beside the bench.
"You sure?"
He nodded.
Ukyou put down the cloth that she was cleaning the grill with, staring
at the man. His eyes were shadowed now, and she could make no guess as to
what he was thinking. "What's your name?" She asked, not knowing what
else to say.
"Kumon Ryuu." He glanced in her direction, his eyes showing no
interest. "Yours?"
"Kuonji Ukyou." The name seemed familiar, somehow, but she couldn't
remember where she'd heard it before. "You don't look so good."
He shrugged. "I'm fine."
She walked over to the table and slid into the bench opposite him,
cocking her head sideways and smiling slightly. "So. What can I do for you?"
He didn't respond, but as he sat there, Ukyou could tell he was
grateful for a warm place to put his journey pack down and rest. Konatsu
watched them both, his emotions unreadable, then shrugged slightly and went
back to sweeping the floor. The scratching back-and-forth of the broom was
oddly comforting to Ukyou's ears. Neither of them spoke for several
minutes, Ukyou looking at him and around the resturaunt uncomfortably, Ryuu
simply staring off into space, his dark eyes emotionless.
"You own this place?" He asked her, at length.
She nodded.
"It's nice."
"Thank you. I've invested a lot of time into it."
"I can tell."
An awkward pause.
"So..." Ukyou bit her lip. "Eh, what do you do?"
He shrugged. "I'm just a traveler."
She smiled slightly. "Where you traveling to?"
"Nowhere, really. Just...wandering."
So he was like Ryouga, in that, Ukyou realized. When he didn't say
anything else, she offered, "I know another wanderer. He comes here
sometimes."
"Really? Another wanderer, huh..."
She nodded. "He's a martial artist, too." -And better than me,- she
recalled dryly, remembering their fight when they first met. "So's my
fiance."
He didn't smile, but she thought she saw a flicker of amusement in his
eyes. "I used to be a martial artist."
She raised an eyebrow at him. "'Used to be'...?"
He nodded. "I lost a duel, and swore I'd never use my techniques again."
"Why?"
The amusement was gone. "Those were just the rules."
She looked uncomfortable, and there was another pause, neither of them
speaking. "Who was it you fought?" She asked, after a moment.
He shrugged. "Just another warrior. Better than me. Smarter. The
fiercest fighter I've ever met, I think..." He shook his head. "But I
don't train any longer."
"You're just a wanderer now?"
He nodded. "Just a wanderer." Ukyou was about to say something, but
his eyes unfocused and he leaned back, talking softly, almost to himself.
"Just a wanderer. But I used to be a warrior." His voice carried a bitter
edge. "After my father died, he made me swear that I would find the
missing half of the ultimate technique that he'd died practicing with. And
I did swear, damn me, and I spent my whole life since then looking for the
scroll that had the other half of the technique on it. I did find it, but
I never learned the other techniques, you know. Guess that means I broke
my oath to my father." He sighed, closing his eyes. "But I'll keep the
oath I made to my opponent. The Mountain Fist techniques are sealed up,
now. Probably for the best, anyway; those were killer's techniques, every
one of them." He looked straight at Ukyou. "Ever see a man after his
heart's been ripped out?" He sighed again. "Probably for the best. Evil
techniques, like the old man said. And I swore, damn me, I swore..."
His eyes remained closed, and Ukyou wondered briefly if he'd fallen
asleep. She coughed slightly. "Your father...he's dead, then?"
Ryuu nodded. "That's right. Father died when he tried to use the
Mountain Fist techniques on our rotting old dojo. It collapsed on top of
him and he died." He laughed mirthlessly. "I got out, though. Might've
been better if I didn't. A lot of people'd still be alive if I hadn't been
there...but they deserved it, every one. Murderers and cutthroats, the lot
of them." His eyes opened. "I never attacked a man I didn't think was
scum, you know that, Kuonji Ukyou? Never. Not until I found the man who
had the missing half of the scroll. I'd have killed him, if things had
gone differently. I would have killed the poor bastard, I really would've.
And you know what? He was a good man. He was a fool and a liar, but his
heart was in the right place. He didn't deserve to die. Probably for the
best that the Mountain Fist is gone, now..."
Not sure what to say, she agreed. "Probably for the best."
He closed his dark eyes again, resting. "So you say your fiance is a
martial artist?"
She nodded, smiled slightly. "That's right. Me and Ran-chan will be
getting married, soon." The words struck false in her own ears, memories
of the wedding burning fresh in her mind.
The wedding of Ranma and Akane.
A failed wedding, to be sure, after Happousai had tossed those
ridiculously powerful bombs of his, destroying the wedding and most of the
Tendou dojo along with it. And she had helped with the destruction,
bringing explosive okonomiyaki to the wedding. She had thought, at first,
that Ranma's father had forced him to go through with the wedding - indeed,
how could Ranma want to marry a girl like Akane? - and she had thought to
use them on him, but when she had arrived...rational thoughts had flitted
out of her mind as the scene had unfolded before her. Ranma and Akane had
been together, and Akane had looked so beautiful in her wedding dress, and
it had almost looked like...like Ranma had _wanted_ to go through with the
wedding, that he was there by choice, that he and Akane...they had....
Unthinking, impulsive, irrational, she had thrown one at Ranma, and it had
hit him. She had scarcely spoken to Ranma since the incident; he wasn't
the type that would stay angry over something like that - indeed, he had
likely forgotten about it by now - but she felt acutely guilty all the same.
-No,- she told herself fiercely, pushing the memories of the wedding
out of her head. -Ranma loves me. Not Akane, not Shampoo, not
Kodachi...Ranma loves _me_. Just like I love him. And we'll get married
soon. We will.-
"'Ran-chan?'" He inquired.
She smiled, a little embarrassed. "My nickname for him."
"I see."
There was another long silence, broken only here and there as Konatsu
finished touching up the Ucchan, making sure the resturaunt was spotless
for opening tomorrow.
Ukyou felt sorry for this tired, trail-worn man sitting across from
her. From what he'd said, it sounded like he had nothing left to him. He
was a martial artist with his martial arts stolen from him, his father was
dead, his dojo was destroyed, and he'd broken his oath to his father as he
was dying. Surely he had _something_, though...
"Do you have a girlfriend?" She inquired, her voice friendly.
He shook his head. "No."
She looked at him, but his eyes were still closed. "Why?"
He shrugged. "Why would I?"
She smiled. "Why does anyone have a girlfriend?"
His eyes popped open at that, and he returned her gaze. There
was...something...in his eyes. Puzzlement, it looked like. "I...I don't
know. Why?"
Ukyou realized she wasn't quite sure how to answer that question,
either. She had meant it merely as a rhetorical question, but... "Well,"
she responded, "me and Ran-chan were promised to each other my our parents
when we were young."
He nodded. "My father never did that. That's why I don't have a
girlfriend, then."
She frowned. "But that's not the only reason," she protested. "I
mean, you could have a girlfriend just because you love her."
"Love?" He smiled, but his eyes showed no amusement. "Never really
had much of that. Spent all my time training and searching for the scroll
after my father died."
"How about your mother?"
He shook his head. "My mother died giving birth to me."
"School?"
"I never went to school."
"But...you've never fallen in love with a girl? Any girl?"
He shook his head again. "Never had time."
She looked contemptous. "The oath." She had a certain disgust for
oaths, after she had seen what Saotome Genma had done with _his_ oath to
her and her father.
"Yes."
"How about now?"
"What do you mean?"
"You're not bound by the oath any longer, right?" She asked
impatiently. "So why can't you try and get a girlfriend now?"
He stared at her. "What do you mean?" He repeated. "What do I have
to offer a girl? My dojo, my inheritance, is destroyed. I have no family,
no money, nothing."
"Well, I..." She looked flustered. "I guess...not. But how about love?"
"I don't know." He looked away. "I don't have much experience with
love, I guess. Do you?"
She cracked her knuckles absently, her thoughts far away. "I...don't
know. I would've said yes if you'd asked me a few months ago, but now...I
don't know. I never had a boyfriend or anything before Ran-chan. There's
that feeling; he makes me feel all warm inside, you know? Or something
like that. I used to think that that's all there was to love, really. But
now..." -...now, I know that love moves more than one way, don't I?- She
asked herself bitterly. -What would have happened at that wedding if I
hadn't shown up? If Shampoo and Tatewaki and Kodachi and Happousai hadn't
shown up? Would Ranma have married Akane? Would they be...-
She scowled. -No. Ranma loves me,- she told herself again, squashing
her other thoughts.
"But now?"
She sighed. "Now I guess I don't."
He nodded. "Neither do I. That's why love's never brought me...well,
love. Maybe you have to understand it first."
"You think so?" She sounded skeptical.
He shook his head, sighed. "Probably not."
"Yeah..."
Silence ruled for a few minutes, both of them just sitting, relaxing,
lost in thought. Understanding love? Ukyou knew that was once thing that
she didn't understand, but then, neither did Ranma, she was sure. That
made them fine as a couple, right? Two negatives equals a positive and all
that.
-I wonder...does Akane understand love? Shampoo? Not bloody
likely...- She sighed. -Love moves more than one way, indeed. What
if...I love him...and he loves one of _them_? Then what would I do?-
-That won't happen,- she told herself angrily. -It won't. Ranma loves
me, not them. How could he not love me? I've tried to be the perfect
fiance, the perfect woman, for him; he has to love me!-
Something in Ryuu's eyes flared. "What did you just say?" He asked
sharply.
"Uh..." She was faintly embarrassed; she hadn't realized she'd been
speaking aloud. "Nothing. Just thinking about my fiance."
He scowled. "Your fiance's name is Ranma? Saotome Ranma?"
She nodded, not sure what to say.
Ryuu stood up abruptly, shouldering his pack. "I...should go. Thank
you for your hospitality."
"Wait," she said, calling to his back as he bowed and began to stride
towards the door. "You don't have to-"
He cut her off. His voice was forceful, powerful. "It would be an ill
thing if I were here when Saotome Ranma returns. I apologize for being
rude...but I must go. Good-bye, Kuonji Ukyou."
"But Ranma..." She sighed; he had already gone out the door. He
wouldn't be able to hear her. "...doesn't live here," she finished,
grumbling to herself. She stared at his retreating form as the door slid
shut behind him; he was already fading from sight, a dark shadow against
the freezing darkness of the streets outside.
Somehow, she knew that she would never see him again.
"Are you okay, Ukyou?"
Ukyou glanced over at her effeminate assistant, and nodded shortly.
"I'm fine, Konatsu." Well, no she wasn't, but she wasn't about to share
her worries with _him_.
He looked at her, concerned. "Are...you really sure...you're okay,
Ukyou? You don't look so good. Ukyou?"
"I'm fine, Konatsu, dammit!" She barked at him, scowling. He looked
hurt, and tears were brimming in his eyes. She was immediately sorry she
had yelled at him, but... "Konatsu, really, I'm okay. Just tired."
He nodded weakly. "Y-yeah, me too. I'll...go to sleep, then, okay,
Ukyou?"
Ukyou didn't respond, didn't look at him as he meekly trotted off to
one of the back rooms where he slept.
Damn Ryuu. He'd hit some nerve that she didn't even know she had, had
said something that had made her question her love for Ranma. But she
_did_ love him. She'd loved him ever since...since...
-Since what?- A small voice in her mind mocked her. -Since you were
about to beat him up and he told you you were cute to calm you down?-
-That's _not_ why he said it!- She shouted the voice down, furiously.
-He said it because he _did_ think I was cute! And he loves me now, I know
he does! He has to!-
-Does he, now?- The small voice asked her, mirthfully. -Why would
that be? Is it because you look so beautiful when you come to school in a
boy's uniform with your breasts bound? Is it because he knew you as a
young boy he was friends with when he was little? He doesn't even think of
you as a girl! How could he possibly love you?-
-Shut up, shut up, _shut up_!- She scowled deeply, sitting at the
table, brooding in the faint lamplight. She sighed, shaking her head
ruefully. -Man, I'm pathetic. I'm sitting in a dark room by myself
arguing with myself.-
But something about Ryuu...she had felt sorry for him, true enough, but
there was something else. His mother had died giving birth to him, his
father was killed in an accident, his inheritance was destroyed, and a
pointless oath had cost him the best years of his life. He had not even
been able to fulfill it, in the end, and now another promise had taken from
him the thing he loved most.
"Promises..." She stared dully at the table, flicking a few stray
grains of salt off its dark surface. "Worthless things."
Her mind drifted back to the days of her youth, selling okonomiyaki
with her gruff, good-natured father in the small towns and valleys east of
Kyoto. She had never been a cheerful girl, even back then, but the year in
that grassy valley with Ranma had been one of the happiest of her life.
Life had been so...simple, back then. She had thought her dreams had come
true when her father told her one day that she was to marry Ranma, and that
his father had agreed to the engagement. The young boy was a bit
thoughtless, true, but he was good-hearted for all that, naive and
friendly, and Ukyou wouldn't have even considered refusing her father's
marriage proposal.
And then Saotome Genma had taken their yattai, their livelihood, and
ran, stealing Ranma, the honor of their family, and Ukyou's happiness with
him.
Her mind still burned with fury at the memory of it. Genma...he had
_agreed_ to the marriage, given his solemn vow of consent! And then he had
just run off, leaving Ukyou and her father nothing. Her life had been one
long downward spiral from then on. Her classmates, hearing of the events,
began to whisper about her, viciously taunting her, said that she had been
spurned by her fiance. She had been weak, back then, and those childish
taunts had cut deep, and she had responded to them violently, devoting all
her time to the martial arts, attacking anyone who whispered about her.
Then her father had been hit by a drunk driver on a backstreet in
Kyoto, crushing his spine, paralyzing him from the neck down. His strength
had waned after that. He had always been a proud, robust man who loved the
outdoors, and being cooped up in a bed all day, knowing that he was
helpless to do the things he loved, had worn on his mind, and, eventually,
his will to live. He passed away six months after the accident, and in his
last days, he had sunk into a delerium. Ukyou had skipped school for those
final days, and spent the time sitting by her father's bed, crying and
praying for him, all to no avail. He had scarcely recognized her at the
last; even after her mother had died in childbirth, he had always wanted a
son, she knew. As he died, sunk deep into delusions and old dreams, he had
called to her, called her his son, and told her that he was proud of him.
He made her promise that she would grow up to be a good, strong man.
Beside herself with grief for her dying father, she had done so, and the
next morning, he was dead. They were poor, so there was no funeral, and
Ukyou had buried him in a grassy field near their small home; an unmarked
grave.
After that, true to her word, she had started dressing as a boy,
binding her breasts, and had quit her old school, moving to the city of
Kyoto itself and attending one of the schools there, an all-boys school.
She had fit in better there. Boys were more interested in fighting than
gossiping, and she had become a fairly accomplished fighter by that time.
After she won a few fights against bullies and such, she had won the
respect of her classmates and they were content to leave her alone and let
her go her own way. She had liked that. The only thing that mattered in
her life at that time was her martial arts, and she trained constantly,
intent on becoming skilled enough so that she could eventually hunt down
Saotome Genma and get her revenge on the man who had stolen Ranma from her.
-The worst years of my life,- she reflected, sighing. With her father
dead and no living kin, she had been entirely on her own, and had had no
place to stay. Needing some way to make money, she had stolen some cooking
materials from a department store and begun to cook okonomiyaki, setting up
a griddle along the cramped inner-city roads. She had eventually melded
her martial arts with her cooking, so that she could make money and train
at the same time. It had proven to be a bad decision, as she found out
when she had finally chased Genma down that day in Nerima. Okonomiyaki
spatulas made terrible weapons for use in actual combat, and if Genma had
not been overwhelmed by guilt and fallen to his knees, begging for
forgiveness, she wondered whether or not she would have been able to defeat
him. But she did beat him nonetheless.
"Saotome Genma," she growled, cracking her knuckles, her face dark.
The man and his worthless oath had stolen the best years of her life from
her...
And it clicked why Ryuu's story had affected her so much.
-His life story is just like mine,- she realized, staring across the
dimly lit room, her eyes shadowed. -And his promise to his opponent
finally took from him the thing that he had devoted his life to. What does
that mean for _me_?-
She scowled at that. It meant nothing, of course, and his life had
been similar to hers only in a very general sense. After all, she had
promised nothing to anyone; there was no oath that could destroy her. It
wasn't as if she put a great deal aside for any oath these days, anyway.
-Ranma...- She wondered, briefly, what about him had so alarmed Ryuu.
-Was _he_ the warrior that made Ryuu swear? No, he...wouldn't have.
Ran-chan...he wouldn't have destroyed a man like that.- If the thoughts
seemed a little hollow, she paid them no heed.
-But if it was him...-
-No,- she broke off her own thoughts, annoyed, angry. -No oath could
destroy me, not like Ryuu.- And she had promised Ranma nothing...
"Yeah," she muttered, slumping a little in the padded booth, "except my
heart."
-An oath that could destroy me. There's nothing, of course. No
vow...- Her eyes burned. -...a marriage vow.-
Of course. A marriage vow between Ranma and Akane, Ranma and Shampoo,
Ranma and Kodachi. -So promises _do_ still have a hold on me, then...-
She sighed. -But there will be no marriage vows between any of them.
Ranma is mine, we are in love, we will marry.-
If she had dared the little voice inside her head to respond, it had
declined.
"He _does_ love me," she mumbled, angry at the bitterness that she felt
burning through her. "He does."
-And I love him...- She rested her chin on her hand - it was slender,
well-formed, strong. Much like the rest of her. -Why?-
She didn't move, but an onlooker would have seen something, some hidden
emotion, flash deep in her dark brown eyes. She glanced at her reflection
in the window beside the booth, staring, thinking, brooding. She loved
Ranma, with all her heart. She had loved him ever since...well, ever since
she had met him, really, in that valley near Kyoto so long ago. But...why?
She heard herself asking the same question to Ryuu. -Why does anyone
have a girlfriend?- And Ryuu's remark, later. -Neither do I. That's why
love's never brought me...well, love. Maybe you have to understand it first.-
-Maybe that's why I'm having trouble trapping Ranma,- she reflected
wryly. -Maybe I have to understand why I'm trying to first...-
-Why _do_ I love Ranma?-
She didn't know. He had been a sweet boy when they were younger,
cheerful and guileless, but she was afraid that all those years on the road
with his father had affected him, somehow; he wasn't the same person she
had known in the grassy vale. He was...colder, almost. The boy she had
known had shared all his innermost thoughts with her, but the grown-up
Saotome Ranma she knew here kept everything to himself, and grew angry when
anyone tried to pry into his thoughts. And more cunning. It was not an
evil cunning, but...there is was all the same, and he had changed.
-What did you expect, idiot?- She chided herself, annoyed. -You've
changed, too.- She sighed. -And god knows that _I've_ gotten colder since
those days in the valley...-
Her thoughts trailed off as she realized what had gone through her
head. -Having trouble trapping Ranma...- She sighed, dismal. -Is that
really what I'm trying to do? Trap him? Keep him with me...when he
doesn't want to be? When he wants to be with...one of _them_?-
Who?
She felt something stir in her left eye. It seemed to be tearing
up...must've just been a speck of dust or something that Konatsu had
missed, floating around the room. Who, indeed.
-Akane...-
She shook her head. No. Akane was a pleasant enough person, a friend
of sorts to her, but...she'd seen the way Akane treated Ranma. The two
fought a lot, more than most any normal couples did, and those fights quite
frequently turned ugly. Ranma had an abnormally strong healing capacity,
but she often saw him come to school, his face bandaged or his arm bruised
or with some other little injury, and she knew who was to blame. Akane.
"Then why does the fool stay at the Tendous'?" She asked herself,
quietly, angrily. -Why? Dammit, it makes no sense. Those two fight all
the time, and everyone knows they're a terrible couple and their engagement
will never work. Why does he stay there, with...her?-
She toyed briefly with the idea that Genma was forcing Ranma to stay,
but she had seen enough of Ranma formidable fighting skills to know that he
was more than a match for the fat, worthless old man. And, from what she
had learned of their life on the road, Ranma had little enough reason to
want to respect Genma's wishes, much less honor them so much as to marry a
girl he hated.
-Then _why_?-
The answer burned in front of her eyes, but Ukyou's response was a
scowl as she stood, turned her back on it, eyes closed. They were wet with
tears.
"He loves me," she told the darkness around her fiercely, spinning on
her heel and heading for the back room where she slept.
But her voice quavered at the last, and when the 'me' came out, it
sounded almost like 'Akane.'
2
Drifting Alone
The coming of daylight to Nerima brought scant relief from the January
chill. The skies were clear; at least it had stopped snowing for the time
being, although the weather bureau had forecasted sleet for the afternoon,
and heavy snows for the evening. But for those thick-blooded people with
adequate clothing, the day was nice enough for all that. The sunlight
reflected off the myriad ice patches and icicles, turning them into
beautiful, frozen crystals. Snow and ice covered the deciduous trees,
making them look for all the world like a scene from a fairy tale,
encrusted with brilliant, frozen jewels. The sun's rays bounced through
the pine needles of the evergreens, sheathed in ice, bright yet not warm
enough to melt them.
Ukyou had awoken that morning in a foul temper, and had decided that
opening the Ucchan would be a bad idea. She was usually friendly with the
customers, after all, and showing up, grouchy and sour and ill-tempered,
would hardly do anything to improve her business. Instead, she had hung a
small sign in the window that read: "Closed for renovations. Re-opening
tomorrow morning at 9:00 A.M." The customers wouldn't find anything to
fuss about over that, she knew; the overpowered martial artists in this
area had caused some damage to seemingly everyone's store or home at one
time or another. She had told Konatsu to take the day off, and had figured
that he'd be grateful for the chance, but he had merely seemed confused.
So she had suggested that he go see a movie or something, and had informed
him that she couldn't open the restaurant today. He had still seemed
puzzled, but hadn't argued. He rarely argued.
She had donned a pair of loose blue jeans which she tucked into an old
pair of leather work boots. The boots were fur-lined, and warm, if a
little battered from long wear. The jacket she was wearing was something
she couldn't remember when she'd bought; it was fur-lined, as well, and
slightly too large for her slender frame. It was dark green, more worn
than the old boots, and had a large collection of pockets on the front.
Her head was bare, though; her long, thick brown hair tied back into a
loose ponytail and her cheeks, nose and ears red with cold.
Ukyou liked cold weather. The clean, crisp air helped clear her mind,
consider the problems in her life with a more level head. And the snow
brought a sort of peace to the hectic city, covering, muffling everything
with a soft white blanket, hiding everyone's troubles until the sun melted
it away. And so, she had taken the day off from working at her restaurant
to spend the day walking through the snow-crusted streets, enjoying the
chill while it lasted. But while it did give her troubled mind a little
relief, it wasn't much.
What Ryuu had said the previous night was still burnt into her mind.
-Neither do I. That's why love's never brought me...well, love. Maybe you
have to understand it first.- She was at a loss as to why those simple,
harmless words troubled her so much, but they did, all the same. She -had-
love, after all, with her fiance.
-Yeah,- she mused bitterly. -Me and Ran-chan, love. We love each
other so much he lives with another woman...-
She scowled, not liking the direction that her thoughts were winding
in. Since Ryuu had visited her...no, ever since the failed wedding,
really, she had been thinking deeply about her relationship with Ranma. He
had never given her reason to believe that he didn't love her, not truly.
When he learned that he had ruined her prized ten-year sauce, he had tried
to make amends, hadn't he? Hadn't he come to her rescue when Konatsu's
step-sisters had kidnapped her and Akane?
She sighed. -Would Ranma have come if it had been just me, though?-
It wasn't a difficult question; she knew Saotome Ranma. He would have
come to her rescue. He would just as soon stop breathing as refuse to help
a person in need. He would have saved _anyone_, not just her, not just Akane.
-Well, maybe that's why I love him,- she considered, kicking a small
chunk of ice off the sidewalk, into the frosted grass. -Because he's
willing to help anyone who needs his help.-
-Is that it?-
Her thoughts were interrupted by a tall man who passed by her. He
smiled a gruff smile, nodded in a friendly manner. She looked at him,
startled, staring at him as he passed. He was taller, and he had no beard,
but aside from that, he looked every bit like her father...
Ukyou shook her head. -I'm getting sentimental, doing all this damn
thinking...-
She took in a deep lungful of the pure winter air, speeding up her pace
somewhat. Her boots crunched on the thin layer of ice covering the
sidewalk, but her balance was good, and she knew she wouldn't fall. Back
in Kyoto, during her years of junior high, she had often taken walks like
these to clear her head. It usually had done her a lot of good; she found
that walking was a good way to disperse her violent thoughts. It had been
awhile since she'd taken a walk like this, though. Almost four months to
the day.
It was peaceful, out here, peaceful in a way that her life hadn't been
lately. It reminded her of the days in the valley with...
-No.- She shook her head, scowled. She didn't want to think about
that, not now. Reminiscing about those days never failed to ruin her mood.
Still...she had been happy back then.
-Have I been happy since?- She wondered, rubbing her cold nose
absently. She didn't think she had, but then, events from not so long ago
popped into her head, unbidden. It had been after that absurd race at the
hot springs of that village. She had won that race, she recalled, after
Ryouga, bumbling and hopelessly without a sense of direction, had crashed
through the side of a mountain and ended up through the goal posts, pulling
her along with him. He had been dead-set on going to Jusenkyou, she
remembered, but she hadn't known why at the time, and he hadn't been
willing to tell her.
She laughed silently, remembering her own startlement upon learning
that Ryouga, Ranma's great rival, was Akane's little pet pig...
"Ryouga? Ryouga!" Ukyou glared daggers around the crowded concourse
at the Atami airport. -Dammit, why now? We're going to miss our
flight...- She knew Ryouga's sense of direction was absolutely miserable,
but she had been _holding his hand_! How in the world had he possibly
separated from her? "Where _is_ he...?"
She nimbly jumped on top of a nearby wooden chair and scanned the top
of the crowd, looking for any sign of bumbling young man in a yellow tunic
and a checkered bandanna asking directions, but she didn't see any sign of
him. She didn't hear anything either, but that was forgivable, given the
obscene level of noise in the concourse as a gaggle of travelers and
tourists made their way through the corridor, talking, jabbering excitedly.
She really wished that they hadn't had to come to this airport, at a
popular tourist resort, on their way to China. It was as if that damned
mayor had gone out of his way to make their flight inconvienent. Forget
Tokyo, take a bus to Atami and catch your plane _there_...
She scowled, glancing at her wristwatch. Their flight was leaving in
three minutes, no thanks to the mayor scheduling their bus ride so that it
arrived in Atami only an hour before the plane was supposed to leave. If
they didn't catch it...well, so much for the all-expenses paid trip to
Jusenkyou that she and Ryouga had won. She had no clue as to _why_ he had
wanted to go there in the first place, but she figured that since he had
basically been responsible for the victory, it was only fair to let him
choose the destination of their free trip. In any case, she _had_ always
been sort of curious to see the place where Ranma had been cursed, so she
had agreed with his choice easily enough.
But she couldn't imagine that he wanted to go there just to see the
place where Ranma was cursed. He was kind of the sentimental type, sure,
but she was pretty sure that he had his heart set on _killing_ Ranma. It
had sure sounded that way the day the two of them first met, anyway. So
she hadn't been sure what to think of his wanting to visit the place. She
had briefly entertained the notion that he thought he might be fun to be a
girl half the time, but...well, if he did, it sure didn't fit his personality.
She jumped down from the chair, having no luck whatsoever locating him.
She sighed dismally, staring into the multitude of people that moved in
front of her, chatting happily, on a vacation from somewhere, here to enjoy
the seaside at Atami. -Where in the world could that jackass possibly
_be_?- She shook her head, annoyed. It wasn't like she was going to hop
on the plane and trek to Jusenkyou without him, especially since the
plane's destination was some city in China which was a good two or three
hundred miles from the springs.
How had he gotten lost, anyway, dammit? She clenched her fist,
grinding her teeth together. -I was _holding his hand_. How could he have
slipped away...?- And why did it have to be _now_? She looked at her
watch again. One minute until the plane left. Wonderful.
And then she heard it.
She wasn't sure just _how_ she heard it over the constant roar of the
crowd, but somehow she managed to make out a...squealing, coming from
somewhere in the mass of people. Wondering what it was, she shouldered her
way through, muttering apologies the entire way, and finally saw...
...a little black piglet?
She scooped it up, quickly moving out of the way of the crowd, off to
the side of the corridor. "Hey," she exclaimed in surprise, looking at the
little pig more closely, "you're Akane's pet pig, aren't you? I recognize
your collar." She grinned slightly and tugged on the collar, a black and
yellow...checkered...bandanna?
She eyed it suspiciously. "This looks like Ryouga's," she noted
accusingly.
The pig squealed loudly. If she hadn't known better, she would have
sworn it was trying to tell her something.
"Well," she reasoned, "Ryouga's got a huge crush on Akane, right? So I
guess it makes sense he'd give her pet a present...well, sort of..." She
stared at the animal, and it bared its fangs at her. She chuckled. "And
I'm here talking to a pig that clearly doesn't like me in any case. What
am I supposed to do with you, anyway?" -And how in the world did you get
to Atami?-
The pig squealed again. It looked more than slightly frantic.
"Great," she muttered sourly, as she saw the plane that she and Ryouga
_should_ have been on pull away from the gate. "Just great. Where is that
jackass, anyway? So much for visiting Jusenkyou..."
The pig looked at her in agony.
She stared at it. -What in the world is _wrong_ with this thing?- She
wondered, pulling it away from her arm so it wouldn't bite her. -It looks
like it's...furious...- "Hey!" She shouted in protest as it wriggled out
of her hands, bounding into the nearby women's bathroom. -What a weird
pig...-
She trailed it as it bolted around the corner and leapt up onto the
sinks. It gestured to one of the knobs with its hoof.
"You...want me to turn that?" She looked at what it was pointing to -
the hot water knob.
-Hot water.- Suspicions were beginning to form in her mind.
It stared at her.
"Okay, okay..." She flipped the knob, and water jetted out of the
faucet. The pig jumped under the stream...and nothing happened.
-Well,- she thought glumly. -_That_ was an anticlima...-
She stared. "Eek."
Ryouga climbed out of the sink. Naked.
"Ryouga," she greeted him, at a loss. "Uh...you..."
"_We missed our flight_!!" Ryouga wailed, hammering the papered walls
with his fists. "It's not fair, it's not fair! I _finally_ get a trip to
Jusenkyou and this..." He trailed off, as two women who had just entered
the bathroom stood there, gazing at him disbelievingly.
"Eh...eheh..." He said intelligently.
Ukyou stood there, staring, trying to comprehend what she had just
seen. _Ryouga_ was Akane's pet pig? But...but...didn't her pet pig
_sleep_ with her...?
The bathroom was silent for a moment.
Then the women screamed.
So did he.
The sound of a car zipping by her shook Ukyou from her reverie. She
grinned at the memory of that day at the airport; those had been good days,
those two weeks she had spent at the beach with Ryouga. They were nothing
to each other, really; friends at best. Allies. But, as she thought back
on those sun-washed summer days, wandering on the beach at Atami, peddling
okonomiyaki, and compared them with the bleak January chill that she walked
in now, she felt there was a sort of magical glow over those times. They
had both been so...full. Full of dreams, love, vengeance. Full of life.
She had been so sure of everything, then...
Ryouga hadn't been particularly happy, of course, but then, Ryouga was
_never_ particularly happy, that she could tell. She had sympathized with
his being unable to go to Jusenkyou; after all, turning into a _pig_? What
could possibly be a more horrid curse? She had found a bit of humor in
Ranma's curse; after all, she had spent a lot of years in her life dressed
as a boy. It was kind of ironic that her fiance turned into a girl.
But a pig...
She shuddered. How awful.
A cold gust of wind bit across her unprotected face, but she didn't
flinch. -I wonder where Ryouga is now?- She hadn't seen much of him,
really, and hadn't ever been of a mind to look. She sighed. -He's
probably with that girlfriend of his...what was her name?- Akari. -Yes,
that was it, Akari...- Something fell on her nose...a snowflake. She
gazed up into the sky, and saw that the sun had been covered by flat gray
clouds. Snowflakes drifted down softly from above like feathers. Cold
feathers.
-I guess the idiot deserves some happiness.- She hadn't really gotten
to know him, but every time she had talked with him, he had been depressed
or angry. Or both; it seemed to hang like a dark cloud over him. She'd
always felt sort of sorry for him, and was glad he'd found someone that
loved him at last. -Akari...- She grinned slightly. -Sounds kind of like
Akane, doesn't it?-
Happy at last...
Her grin vanished. -Don't _I_ deserve a little happiness, too, then?-
Then she stopped. -But what do I have to be unhappy about? After all, me
and Ran-chan are...we'll be happy together, we'll get married, and...and...-
"Yeah, we'll get married alright," she muttered, shivering as the snow
grew heavier and several flurries landed on her cheeks. She grew annoyed
at the sarcasm lacing her own voice, but she found the words were tumbling
out of her mouth regardless. "After all, he's just living with Akane.
They're not married. Engaged and living together, but not married. Yet."
She scowled. "But their wedding failed. That means he's mine...doesn't it?"
She leaned down, brushing a chunk of slush off her boot. The
snowflakes were dropping from the sky with greater frequency, now, and she
decided that it would probably be a good idea to get inside. The weather
was prone to change so quickly in Nerima... -Just twenty minutes ago, the
sun was shining bright. Now...- There wasn't a trace of the cheerful
fiery globe anywhere in the sky, and a heavy gray cloudbank had obscured
every hint of the brilliant, clear blue sky from the morning. It wasn't a
storm cloud, massive, dark, and intimidating, it was just...gray.
-A cold gray,- she thought. -Cold and gloomy and flat.- It looked to
go on forever from where she stood, oppressive and unchanging. Her
multi-pocketed jacket was almost half-white, by now, but she didn't seem to
mind, and when the wind picked up, a small stream of flurries tailed from
her long ponytail.
She smiled to herself, a pleasant smile, enjoying the cold winds as
they whipped about her face. -But a nice enough day for all the
gloominess...- She sighed wistfully. -But it would be nicer of Ran-chan
was here with me.- She could almost see him, his fierce blue-gray eyes
shining, grinning at her, making some little joke, and his muscular hand
around hers, keeping her warm through the chill. They had so much they
needed to talk about. She knew she needed to apologize, or...or something,
for what she had done to his wedding. It couldn't have been his fault, his
idea to go through with the ridiculous thing, after all. His father,
Akane, Tendou Soun; they were the ones to blame, not Ranma. And Ranma
would forgive her, of course; his happy-go-lucky nature rarely let him hold
a grudge against anyone, let alone his childhood friend. Then she would
invite him over to the restaurant, treat him to a free okonomiyaki, as she
always did, and he would compliment her on it. Like he always did. Then
he would kiss her, and they would-
She shook her head, a little embarrassed and annoyed at the thoughts
that had gone through her head. -Yeah, and while I'm dreaming, I wouldn't
mind having a magic lamp, either.-
But she did need to talk to Ranma. It was...what was today? She
frowned. -Saturday.- Yes, that was right, Saturday. Running the Ucchan
took up a lot of her time during weekdays, so she would only attend school
for a couple hours each day in the morning. She had no intention of going
to college after she graduated, so she figured that her grades were no real
concern one way or another. Her restaurant was as successful as any, and
she figured that it was as good a salary and the work as enjoyable as
anything she could get with a college degree. Just a week ago, she had
finished renovations of the Ucchan, adding an extension onto the back of
the building to make more room for her ever-increasing customer base. She
had also had the large counter and grill moved back and shrunken slightly.
It left her less space for cooking, but she hardly needed all that room
anyway and it left a great deal of open space for tables and booths for the
customers; the response she had received had been largely positive.
But it was Saturday, and the Ucchan was closed for the time being, its
owner walking the snowy streets, lost in thought.
Ukyou knew she needed to apologize to Ranma, tell him she was sorry for
her reaction at his wedding. Let him know that she knew that he would
never betray her, and that she was aware that his father had forced him to
go through with it. And he would forgive her. And...
-And what?-
She didn't know. She hadn't spoken more than a word or two to him
since the wedding, but she had watched him, carefully. Looked into his
eyes when he didn't know he was being watched, observed his movements, his
actions. He seemed the same old Ranma on the surface, but she could tell
there was something different. His personality had...softened, almost, and
he didn't seem so crass as before. And she had watched him as he walked,
talked with Akane, watched those blue-gray eyes soften as he stared at his
short-haired fiance, a smile barely crossing his lips.
Akane had changed as well. Not a radical change, but her temper seemed
to be more even, and she was less apt to smack Ranma around for a trifling
insult.
But for all that, Ukyou didn't think that much had changed between the
two of them. Ranma was more polite and Akane was nicer, but they still
hardly got along, and they fought...well, they fought too much. Not as
much as before, it seemed like, but they still were always in some argument
or another, Akane accusing him of some perceived insult, Ranma protesting
and calling her uncute, Akane storming away...
She shook her head. -Akane and Ranma...- A miserable couple.
There was a sharp, if muffled beeping, and Ukyou glanced at her watch.
1:30 P.M., its digital display read. -Why did I set it for one thirty...?-
She wondered, frowning. Nothing that she could recall off hand happened
then, although she realized that she hadn't yet eaten lunch. Her stomach
growled at her in reply.
She looked around, searching for a place to sit down and grab a bit to
eat. A big yellow 'M' peeked its head above a tailor shop.
-McDonald's...nah. Something a little less greasy.- She looked behind
her, and saw a small coffee shop.
-Well, sure, why not...-
The coffee shop was a nice one. It was entirely wooden: the door was
cherry, the walls were plywood and hickory, the tables were mahogany, the
floor was oak, the ceiling was buttressed by long pine beams that rose to a
large 'V' along the center of the building. Warm floor lamps illuminated
the establishment, and the young man at the order counter was friendly, if
somewhat hurried.
Ukyou sat at one of the tables next to the window, one of the few
things that was _not_ wooden, drinking a small cup of black coffee, her
brown eyes with a far-off appearance to them. She had found that she
didn't have much of an appetite, even for the delicious-looking bagels,
biscuits, sandwiches, and cheeses they offered here. She hadn't eaten much
of a breakfast, either, but she just didn't feel like eating.
The coffee was fairly good. She had expected it to be better, given
that the place specialized in it, but it wasn't usually tasty or rich. It
was warm, though, and it felt good as it coursed through her cold body,
still recovering from walking in the snow and freezing wind all morning.
But she scarcely noticed the taste or the warmth of the coffee. Her
mind wasn't in the coffee shop, it was outside in the wonderfully cold
breeze, talking cheerily with the pigtailed martial artist that loved her.
When he turned his eyes to her, they softened, and he laughed at some joke
she had made. Some meaningless joke, but it made him smile, smile at her,
and that was all that mattered.
-Smile at me, Ran-chan. Smile at me like you smile at Akane...-
He was, in her mind. They were going over their plans for the wedding.
It would be a small wedding; neither of them was particularly fond of
grand events, and she knew that a big, fancy wedding would put them both on
edge. And it would be an ill thing to be on edge during the happiest day
of her life...
-My life, or Akane's?-
She ground her teeth together. -Dammit, can't I even have Ran-chan to
myself in my daydreams?- She sighed, the image of Ranma smiling softly as
he gazed at Akane burning in her mind. Those blue-gray eyes, so fierce at
times, were so kind, so trusting as they turned to the short-haired girl...
-Eyes...- Ukyou looked up, towards the door. Saotome Ranma stood
there, relaxed, handsome and strong, his blue-gray eyes staring straight at
her.
"Ran-chan..."
He waved to her.
3
What I Loved
Ranma pulled up a seat. "Hiya, Ucchan." His voice was as confident as
ever, and he seemed excited about something. Excited, and more than a
little anxious.
She smiled at him, genuinely. "Didn't know you drank coffee."
"Uh, well, I don't," he replied, looking slightly embarrassed. "I just
saw you in here, so I decided to, y'know, say hi."
He didn't look mad, at least. She was glad that he wasn't the type to
hold grudges.
"We haven't talked much lately, have we?"
She shook her head. "I guess not." Her smile grew forced. "I've
been...busy. With the restaurant, you know. Business's been good, and the
extension is finished. There's a lot more room for tables now."
He nodded. "Yeah, I, uh, saw it a couple'a days ago. It looks good."
They sat in silence for a few minutes, Ukyou sipping from a small cup
of black coffee, Ranma fidgeting, looking uncomfortable. She stared at his
eyes, and could see the apprehension there.
-He's here for a reason.- She watched him, trying to guess what that
reason could be. Maybe...maybe... -Maybe...he's here to finally...tell me
that he loves me?-
She swallowed. -I've waited so long, so goddamned long to hear him say
it. Is that why he's here now?-
Ranma stayed silent.
She decided to be direct. "Ran-chan...what did you want to talk to me
about?"
He stared through the window, watching the wind whip the snowflakes
about as they fell. "I, uh..." He didn't look at her. "A wedding, Ucchan."
Her heart skipped. Did he mean...?
"A wedding," she repeated, her voice carefully calm.
Ranma nodded. "A wedding. A, uh..." He turned to look at her, his
eyes unreadable. "Another wedding. Pop and Mister Tendou...they're
planning to try and force me an' Akane to marry again."
She scowled. Saotome Genma...didn't he and that idiot friend of his
ever stop? Trying to force two people who didn't love each other to marry;
it fit Genma's scummy personality so well that it hurt. "Ran-chan, I-"
"Ucchan." He cut her off. There was something in those handsome eyes
of his that unnerved her. "They're trying to force us to get married, but
I...well, Akane's..." He paused, clearing his throat. "Akane's agreed to
go through with it, Ucchan."
She froze. Akane had... "She...did?" She sounded a little dazed.
He nodded, licking his lips. "Yeah, she, uh...she did."
Neither of them spoke for a moment. A million thoughts flew through
Ukyou's mind. -She's agreed to it. _Akane's_ agreed to it. She's going
to win, she's going to take Ranma, she's going to take everything. My
life, for nothing. Akane's going to take Ranma. Damn her... Ranma...-
-But _he_ hasn't agreed to it!- She protested to herself, quickly,
angrily. Desperately. -And he _won't_ agree to it, because he loves me,
regardless of what Akane does or agrees to...- But the thoughts were
empty, the hopes were empty.
"I, uh, I'm not sure," he managed to get out at last. "How I feel, I
mean. Y'know, should I go through with this?" He flinched as he saw a
flash of hot pain in her eyes. "Ucchan, I don't mean that I..." He
trailed off.
She didn't speak. She didn't trust herself to speak.
His hand tightened around hers, but she didn't feel her heart beat
faster. -It should be, though,- she thought despondently. -Shouldn't it?
My fiance, my one true love, he's holding my hand...shouldn't my heart be
beating just a little bit faster?- "Ucchan," he began, then stopped.
-Ran-chan...-
He tried again. "Ucchan, I...I'd never try to hurt you, Ucchan. I
just... Well, Akane's agreed to marry me, y'know?" -Yeah, Ran-chan, I
know. And you've already agreed, haven't you? You don't know it yet, but
you've already agreed to marry her... Damn her...- "But...I just don't
know how I feel. But she...she's so cute when she smiles, y'know, Ucchan?"
-Is she?- Ukyou felt oddly detached. -So are you, Ran-chan. You've
got such a nice smile.-
"I just...I dunno." He sighed. "Nothin' makes sense right now."
She finally found her voice, but the words that tumbled out were not
the ones she'd intended. "I guess the uncute fiance won, huh?" She asked,
her voice bitter.
"No!" Ranma protested. Several of the less-tactful patrons of the
coffee shop turned around to glance at the two of them. "Ucchan, I...I
didn't mean it like that! I mean...just...y'know, I..."
Ukyou sighed, berating herself furiously for her bitterness, her loss
of control. "I know, Ran-chan," she told him, startled at her own calm.
-You're losing him, losing him to Akane, losing the only man you ever loved
in your entire worthless life! Do something! Anything! Don't just let
him go to _her_!.- She ignored her own thoughts, the screaming boiling up
within her, and answered him in a simple, clear voice. "I know you'd never
try to hurt me."
He didn't respond to that, and the two sat there, staring into each
other's eyes, his blue-gray and hers dark brown, emotionless. They
remained silent for the better part of five minutes, the soft chatter of
the other customers the only sound in their ears. -I'm losing him...- She
thought slowly, sadly. -Akane's already won, hasn't she? There should be
something, something that I should be feeling right now. I'm losing him,
losing Ranma, and I can't feel a thing...-
No, that wasn't right.
-I've lost him.- The thought went through her head like a thunderbolt,
but she didn't laugh, didn't cry, didn't feel a thing.
But there was something else in his eyes...what was that?
"Ucchan," he said, breaking the silence at last. "Ucchan, I...I don't
know what to do. Should I...y'know, go through with it? What should I do,
Ucchan?"
Her eyes widened. -He's asking me...what to do... He _hasn't_ chosen!
But he never asks anyone what to do... Does he? He's asking me what to
do...-
Wild thoughts of telling him to declare his love for her and run away
with her filled her head, and she forced them back down, angrily. -No!
No, dammit, not...like this.- She stared into his eyes. -He trusts me, I
can see it. He's asking me for advice... No.- She shook her head.
-Asking me as a friend, not as a fiance, a lover. Just a friend...-
She just looked at him. "You don't love me, do you?" She asked
simply, feeling something lurch inside her. -I've...I've lost him...-
Ranma averted his gaze. "Ucchan, I...but...you don't
understand...I..." He was babbling. "You're my best friend,
Ucchan...I...we'll...that is, I..."
The voice inside her head was screaming.
She sighed, and somehow managed to give him the imitation of a smile.
"Ran-chan, I never thought I'd say this, but..." She swallowed, finding
her voice. It was a strong voice, stronger than she would have thought she
could muster. "Follow your heart, Ran-chan. That's the only way you're
going to be happy, the only way me, or Akane, or Shampoo, or Kodachi...the
only way _any_ of us are going to be happy. If your heart leads you to
Akane, then...then..." Her strength failed her, and she trailed off, her
body shaking.
He took hold of her hand, concern in his eyes. "Ucchan?"
She looked at him. What was that, rolling down her cheek? A tear?
-No, surely not a tear. I never cry...- "If your heart leads you to
Akane, then it's for the best, Ran-chan." There, she'd said it, and her
voice hadn't wavered once. She smiled, then, and it was almost genuine
this time. "But it won't. You follow it, and your heart'll lead you right
back to me."
Ranma tried to respond, but he stopped, squeezed her hand a little. He
said something, but she didn't hear him; it was just some little thing to
make her feel better, she knew. -That's what made me love him, after
all...- She smiled a small smile. -He's willing to help anyone.-
A strange sort of determination rushing through her, she put her hand
on his shoulder. "Ran-chan, you don't have to make a choice now. Don't.
Don't do something you might regret, you hear me?"
"I..." He stared at her. "Thanks, Ucchan."
She smiled at him. "Hey, what're best friends for, Ran-chan?"
"I, uh..." He glanced towards the door, stood up. "I gotta be gettin'
back to the dojo now. Akane said she wanted to practice or somethin'..."
-Akane. Of course. Always Akane...- But she nodded, fighting down
her bitterness with a barely perceptible grimace.
Ukyou stared at his back as he strode out the door, blinking back a
tear, then stood up abruptly. Several of the customers politely averted
their eyes as she half-walked, half-ran into the women's bathroom.
Thankfully, it was empty.
She stared at her reflection in the mirror, leaned on the sink counter,
her arms and hands shaking, her legs weak. -I've...lost him...-
This time, she didn't hold back the tears.
Ukyou was still out walking as the afternoon turned into a sullen
twilight, the snow falling and the leaden sky overhead blotting out the
sunset. If it had been blisteringly cold during the day, the night was
simply unbearable for the majority of people living in the Nerima district.
Even Ukyou, who loved the cold, felt the frozen fingers of the evening
pierce her thick jacket and jeans. The streets were bleak and empty, as
gray and colorless as the sky in the day's fading light, not a soul to be
seen walking through the snow and sleet.
Except her.
For hours, it had seemed, she had been unable to stop crying. Even
after she had left the coffee shop, the tears had kept coming until her
eyes burned, dry, red and sore. The streets had been mostly empty even
then, so there was no one to see her cry; she was thankful for that.
-I must have cried a river,- she thought, contentedly breathing in the
freezing wind. -I can still taste the salt on my lips...-
The snow, peppered with ice, was coming down harder than it had been
earlier. Over a foot of it was piled on the frozen grass to the side of
the sidewalk, but it lacked the cute, soft, puffy look that she knew
newfallen snow always had. Instead, it merely looked...cold.
-Of course it's cold, fool,- she chided herself, chuckling softly.
-It's snow.-
Yet, cold as the snow was, she enjoyed it all the same, even as night
fell and cloaked the streets in darkness. -Maybe it's because it gives me
something to think about,- she considered, smiling sardonically. -Snow,
the cure for a broken heart. Who'd have thought?-
For a moment, she feared that she would start crying again, but the
tears didn't come. The sun had fallen completely below the horizon, the
streetlights flickered their dim lights on, and one or two neon signs
burned through the white curtain, but for the most part, everything was
dark. Peaceful, if one could ignore the screeching wind long enough to
appreciate it.
Her thoughts from the previous night flitted through her mind. -An
oath that could destroy me...- She sighed, her breath a dissipating cloud
of steam. A picture of Kumon Ryuu, strong, powerful, handsome, suddenly
appeared in her thoughts. He was walking along an endless stretch of dull
gray road, flat brown grasslands on each side, an iron-colored sky hanging
low overhead. He was not tired; his muscular legs would not tire, no
matter how far or for how long he walked. But his eyes, the window to his
soul, were empty, broken, lifeless. He stared ahead, uncaring, unthinking,
trudging ever onward along the flat gray road, with nothing but death as
his destination.
But it wasn't Ryuu.
-No,- she thought, the picture firmly locked in her mind. -It's
not...- Ryuu's hair was not that long, and it was more curly than that,
and darker. And wasn't he a bit taller? The figure's pants weren't
camouflaged like Ryuu's were, and the jacket wasn't Ryuu's leather one.
-That sure is an odd jacket.- What kind of coat was that, anyway?
Green, faded, worn, with a multitude of pockets on the front. -It
looks...like mine.-
Kuonji Ukyou, strong, powerful, handsome. Walking along an endless
stretch of dull gray road, untired, uncaring, her spark of life flickered
out, fallen on cold iron. Walking forever, waiting for the journey to end
at death's door.
-Is that the future that awaits me?- She wondered bleakly, detached,
staring. Somehow, she couldn't quite bring herself to care.
She kept walking, for what seemed to be an eternity. One foot in front
of the other, trudging through the snow and the sludge, the cold burning
through her, filling her with an odd sort of satisfaction. She was both
deep in thought and devoid of thought, her mind elsewhere, lost. And she
kept walking.
By the time she stopped, the snow had ceased, and the wind howled a
little less. She stood, then, staring at nothing, half-frozen, at peace.
The sky had cleared, and the night had completely fallen, now. There was
no trace of the sun left.
She looked around. Funny, this place looked familiar; she didn't
recall walking any particular direction. -Hm. Wonder where I am. I
should be hopelessly lost, by now...-
Oh. -The Ucchan.- Of course.
She stared at the interior through the window; it was as dark inside
the restaurant as it was out on the street. Darker. There was a quietness
about the place that she didn't like, and she suddenly decided that she
didn't feel like going home tonight. She was almost able to bring herself
to envy Ryouga, who could get lost in a second. -_He_ sure wouldn't have
problems with finding a place that he didn't want to find,- she mused dryly.
Then she noticed it. There was something, someone, sitting on the roof
of the Ucchan, a dark shadow against a black sky, utterly still and silent.
For a moment, she entertained a thought that it was Ryuu again, but the
shape, the build was all wrong. Who else...
Konatsu.
She sighed. What was he doing on the roof? She was about to call out
to him, but stopped as she realized that he wouldn't be able to hear her,
not from down here, over the whistle of the wind.
-Well, I suppose I better tell him to get down,- she figured, rolling
her eyes slightly as she tightened her leg muscles then leapt, landing
easily, silently on the roof. Her years of martial arts training had, if
nothing else, improved her jumping ability immensely.
He didn't turn towards her as she approached him. He was dressed in
his old, patched black ninja outfit, ragged and beaten, and he was staring
at the clear night sky.
"Konatsu."
When he didn't respond, she grumbled slightly. "Konatsu, what are you
doing on the roof?" Glancing at his clothing, she added, "And aren't you
cold?"
He shook his head. He had long hair; longer than hers. "The cold's
never really bothered me," he responded, turning to her and smiling
cheerfully. "I guess I'm used to it; I never had blankets or anything
while I was living with my stepsisters."
She didn't say anything, so he pointed to the sky. "Look at the moon.
Isn't it beautiful?" It was just a tiny sliver in the sky, a gleaming
silvery shard.
She shrugged, glancing at it. "I...guess so," she responded, kneeling
down beside him, her legs tired from her long walk. "I've never really
thought about it."
Konatsu stared at the far-off crescent, his eyes unfocused. "There's
lots of legends about the moon, that I've heard. One man told me that the
full moon could make a man into a werewolf, if he wasn't careful. Some
people think that a new moon's a curse, that without the light in the sky
the darkness'll take them. I've even heard that we sent a man to the moon,
once." He sighed. "I used to think if it as the night's eye, you know.
Like some ancient god in the sky, staring down at me, watching everything I
did."
"A god, huh?" Ukyou chuckled slightly. "I'd get a little paranoid, I
think."
He cracked a small smile. "He was a benign god."
She looked up into the dark sky, at the moon. "Like a guardian angel?"
He nodded. "Yeah...like a guardian angel, watching over me. I think
he must have been, to send me a person like you, Ukyou."
-A guardian angel...- She sighed. -I could sure use one of those in
my life.-
Konatsu glanced at her, worried. "Are you okay, Ukyou? You don't look
happy."
She nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay. Today brought a bit of...closure, maybe,
to my life."
"Closure?" He sounded puzzled.
"Yeah. And some peace, I think. For me."
She was grateful when he didn't probe any further. Instead, he smiled.
"I'm happy for you, Ukyou."
She also smiled, faintly. "Thanks, Konatsu."
Neither of them said anything for a bit, both staring at the night sky,
immersed in their own thoughts.
"How often do you come up here?" Ukyou asked, suddenly.
He shrugged. "Not so often, really." He gazed at the darkness, the
huge black dome overhead. "The lights of the city block out the stars, you
know. I used to lie out late at night, in the wilderness where the old tea
shop was, and watch the stars. So many stars; a million little points of
light, scattered across the sky. Like...like fireflies. The fireflies in
heaven." He grinned a little embarrassedly at that, staring at the sky,
imagining the banner of stars that he'd known before he'd come to Nerima.
She turned from gazing at the moon and looked at him; he was calm,
cheerful and happy as he lay back in his worn old ninja suit, watching the
sky, tracing the invisible stars in his mind. He was so...peaceful.
She let out a long breath quietly, feeling an odd sort of affection for
her effeminate assistant. She grasped his slender hand gently, and he
looked at her, startled.
"Ukyou...?"
She smiled at him. Somehow, sitting on the cold roof with Konatsu, she
felt a strange sort of reassurance seep through her. Ranma was lost to
her, and she knew that thinking of him would hurt her for years to come,
but finally, that portion of her life had ended. Chasing after Ranma,
falling in love with Ranma, playing the part of his 'cute' fiance, all of
it was, at long last, over. Ranma had chosen.
She felt at peace for the first time in years.
END
Author's notes:
Well, it seems like every Ukyou fan has to write at least _one_
introspective Ukyou-centered story. I guess this is mine, and here's
hoping you didn't find it _too_ much like a rerun. ^_^
This story is something I've been wanting to write for some time now, so I
finally decided to take a few days off from slaving away on my massive
projects and write it after looking at the lyrics to Jackson Browne's song.
A bunch of things conspired to get my muse to bully me into writing this,
including, foremost, more than a bit of sympathy for Konatsu, who I
consider a really cool character that doesn't nearly get the attention he
deserves. I had originally harbored some vague notion of writing an
Ukyou-and-Ryuu fic, and I came upon the question, as many fanfic authors
before me have, of, "Okay, so what do I do with Konatsu?" Realizing that
almost every Ukyou-and-Ryouga, Ukyou-and-Ranma, Ukyou-and-Mousse,
Ukyou-and-whoever story has come up against this question, I took note of
how many times the poor guy's been given the cold shoulder, bumped off,
made not to exist, or just plain screwed over. So I decided to write a
story in which he just might have a chance with his beloved Ukyou-sama. ^_^
Also, I was curious as to what a meeting between Ryuu and Ukyou would be
like, and wanted to explore a bit what Ryuu would be like, now that he no
longer has use of the Yamasenken. I hope I haven't written him horribly
out-of-character. ;p Along the lines of exploring, though, I was also
curious to delve into Ukyou's thoughts about Ranma, especially after the
wedding in volume 38. _Does_ she suspect that he loves Akane? I think she
does; she's not stupid, after all.
And, lastly, I've always kind of wondered just what Ukyou and Ryouga did
after the onsen race story. How in the world did they end up in Atami if
it was an all-expenses paid trip, anyway? (Atami's in northern Japan.)
Since it was nagging me, I decided to include it in this story; I hope it
didn't come out as too awkward of a sequence.
I hope you enjoyed reading it, I know I had fun writing it. ^_^
A hearty, very grateful thanks to my prereaders Doug Wood and Jonathan
Tarot. This fic would be a _lot_ worse without their advice.
Comments and criticism are welcome. My email address is
guilds@mail.serve.com.
-- George/Hunter Kid
Monday, 6 September 1999
--
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