You know, I'm not sure this qualifies as a SPAMfic--it is, frankly,
rather WAFFish for that, by the end. Granted, Kasumi is pushed to an
OOC stretch, but given her fairly non-existent demeanor in the OS, she
is probably one of the easiest cast members to modify in that manner.
There is one thing that kind of bothered me: During the "Contract"
scene (obviously the meat of the story), Kasumi goes to exceptional
lengths to single out Akane, even during those clauses that are
obviously directed mainly at the actions of other fiancees. Frankly,
I'd think she'd strive to be a little more balanced in her
tongue-lashings.
For instance, why not have state outright that the reason for the "no
cooking, even in your own restaurant" rule is that Ukyou and Shampoo
are doing it to snare Ranma with an obligation?
--- Jack Staik <jstaik1043@earthlink.net> wrote:
Ranma 1/2: Who Will Crack First?
--------------------
"And why would I do that?" Nabiki asked.
Kasumi took out the blood-stained knife.
That was... effective.
* * * * * * * * * *
"Obviously one of these base trollops thought to interfere with my
epic
romance with Ranma-sama." Kodachi said haughtily. "But they shall not
succeed - will they Harvey?" she addressed the invisible rabbit who'd
taken to hanging out with her.
Erk! That was a bit much.... I mean, Kodachi's delusional, not
hallucinatory.
Akane was pale and nervous looking. "O-oneechan? Why was he in the
hospital? What did he need surgery for?"
"Well," Kasumi explained, "the classic form of seppuku causes
injuries
that cause the intestines to fall out of -"
Now that was mean, man, just MEAN! I loved it!
"QUIET!!" Kasumi barked. "Ranma's suicide note made it quite clear -
all
seventy-four pages of it. What it boils down to is that *all* of you
forced Ranma into a position where he could see no other way out."
This should have been a clue to the girls, BTW, especially Akane--I
mean, a 74-page note? From RANMA?
"Ranma did." Kasumi answered. "He felt like the food was being used
as a
means to manipulate him." She shrugged. "That and his belief that
Akane
was trying to poison him."
Here's an example of what I'm getting at. Neither Shampoo nor Ukyou
puts up a protest about not serving him in their restaurants, so only
Akane gets mocked. The accusation of manipulation was enough to to
silence all of them, and probably should have been stressed more.
"Rule Four: No Sex! Of any sort - including veiled references,
flirtation, or actual physical contact. Ranma-kun was most insistent
about that one."
"Why? He need a break from being a pervert?" Akane snickered.
This is rather insensitive of Akane; she generally doesn't kick Ranma
when he's down--just when he's not looking. I suspect that she'd be
more likely to lash out at one of the other girls (esp. Kodachi or
Shampoo), possibly trying to blame one of them for driving Ranma to
seppuku with their "bimbo habits".
"As I was saying -" Kasumi continued. "Ranma is very uncomfortable
about
sexual matters. In fact, I suspect he has an abnormally low sex
drive.
He would rather not have the topic mentioned around him. And he finds
being glomped or forcibly kissed to be repugnant."
All four girls looked ashamed at that one.
Ummm... to the best of my knowledge, neither Ukyou nor Akane has ever
forcibly glomped/kissed Ranma, unless you count Akane's "kiss" in the
Romeo & Juliet arc. They have no real reason to be ashamed. Hell,
Akane should be looking downright triumphant at this point.
"No you didn't." Kasumi interrupted. "Rule Five: No Violence! No
malletings, bludgeonings, LEO kicks, ambushes, or attacks with
miscellaneous weapons." Kasumi looked right at Akane as she said
this.
"Under *any* circumstances!"
Akane was reaching her maximum limit for embarrassment.
Okay, this works; it is, obviously, the biggest weak point of Akane's,
and so she SHOULD be singled out.
"And administering drugs, potions, and using magic qualifies as
'violence'. As does yelling."
And the other fiancees were approaching their maximums for
embarrassment, too.
Okay, except for her first story arc, Ukyou generally does not get
violent with Ranma. At most she gets flustered if she thinks he's
coming on to her. I suspect this would be HER moment to look superior.
"Rule Six: No Dates! In the past, all of you have become jealous or
even
violent about Ranma even talking to another girl, while at least two
of
you have had actual dates. If you insist on being Ranma's fiancee, no
dating other boys! And flirting with other boys qualifies." Again,
Kasumi looked at Akane. "That includes your flirting with Kuno."
"I do *NOT* flirt with Kuno!!" she protested.
Hmmm... I actually suspect that Kasumi would be more likely to single
out Ryouga (whom Akane has used to get Ranma jealous) than Kuno.
"Then why do you accept his 'date challenges'?" Kasumi said. "If you
were really serious about not wanting him, all you would have had to
do
was go on the school loudspeaker and announce that you would *never*
date anyone who attacked you. Kuno's pronouncement would never have
held
water with your clearly-stated opposition. Even Kuno would have had
to
back down."
Akane looked shocked. She had never considered that.
This was weak reasoning, at best. By the time Ukyou was introduced,
Tatewaki's delusional state had been pretty well established. At most,
you might accuse Akane of having allowed the attacks to continue in
order to mask her confusion over the usual adolescent interest in the
opposite gender.
They were all becoming very good at looking ashamed. The thought that
they drove Ranma to suicide was bad enough, but *celibacy*?
*Chuckle* This line, I liked.
"Rule Seven: No attacking each other!! That should be
self-explanatory.
Hmmm... I suspect that Kodachi would be the most affected by this one,
although assuming the story takes place after the end of the series,
Ukyou and Shampoo have to deal with the wedding assaults on their
consciences.
Akane was shocked by the change. She and Ranma were actually getting
along and being frineds. Sure, he was rude and insensetive - but
since
she wasn't busy yelling at him, she noticed that he treated his
friends
all the same way. He had been treating her as a friend and equal from
the beginning.
At times, she was tempted to say he was less perverted but he had not
changed in that respect at all. In fact, she would be forced to admit
he
had never been perverted to begin with. Instead, it was her own mind
that saw perversion - and was increasingly filled with images of the
times she had seen Ranma naked. It was like bing a buddy instead of a
fiancee made him desirable. Very desirable.
This part I like, and the idea that Akane's been projecting her own
desire onto him is a solid one.
Ukyo was also shocked. She watched herself become her Ranchan's pal
and
buddy again. She still wanted more, but now he seemed happy. But the
way
he called them all by nicknames was annoying. 'Ucchan' had been cute,
and calling Akane 'Tomboy' was to be expected (but her getting used
to
it wasn't), but calling Shampoo 'Kitten'!! Ick!!
*Cough* Okay, that one caught me off-guard... remember, Ranma can't
even say "cat" without stuttering. I suspect he'd be more likely to
use something like "violet" (if her hair is anime-colored, that is), or
even "China".
Ukyo found herself getting increasingly jealous of the other two. If
they were just *gone*!! But she couldn't touch them due to that idiot
contract!
Actually, I'm surprised that Ukyou hasn't noticed at least a few of
Ranma's less-desireable traits, now that she's able to be around him
without distractions.
Shampoo was just confused. She found that she 'liked' being Ranma's
friend. She hadn't been allowed much of a childhood in the Amazon
lands
- she had been groomed to be Cologne's Heir and the Champion from her
earlist infancy. Now she got to 'hang out' and go to baseball games
and
have fun!
Shampoo found herself thinking of Ranma not as her Airen, but as a
friend. She was tempted to break that silly contract and get
disqualified as a fiancee - but that would mean returning to China.
She
wasn't so anxious to give up her life here.
*Applause* This, I REALLY like. And, given Ranma's reaction to the
whole "Reversal Jewel" arc, what's his ego going to say when he learns
about this little shift?
Ranma smiled one of those smiles that made girls melt. "Great!
C'Mon!"
<I've got to thank Kasumi for those contracts. Of course, faking a
suicide attempt was a bit weird, but it seems to have worked! For the
first time, I have *friends*! Real friends!>
*sniff* Awwww.....
Kodachi smiled. She could read it in their faces - the feelings at
war
within them. Their hearts tugging them in their own directions. Which
one would crack first?
A valid question--and one that makes the story itself worthy of
continuation....
--Freemage
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