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Ranma 1/2
Ranma vs. the 18th Hole
by
James Epnett
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Authors Notes: Well, after writing Chef Akane, I kind of fell into a
stage of not writing anything because I found that nothing I was doing
was worth the paper I had printed it on. I am working, currently, on a
few
screenplays, and have become very frustrated with them.
So, I thought I would slip back into the world of fan-fiction and Ranma
1/2. I truly hope this short little piece comes out half as amusing as
Chef Akane (though I doubt it). And please forgive any of the out of
character attitude presented by characters. I�ve been away for a while.
This is my humble attempt to come back in some shape or form. ^_^ Also,
excuse such words as verve (which, incidentally, means force) My
Thesaurus has been working double time lately. ^_^ One last thing. I
decided to go ahead and mention Ku and Cloud Manji, two characters I
created. Those who remember Chef Akane MAY remember Cloud and Ku. Please
do send C&C.
On one final note, I would like to thank Jed M. Bidwell for pre-reading
this and helping fix an error that could have been fatal to my life on
the FFML. ^_^
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Ranma eyed his opponent. It was hopeless. He had never in his 16 years
on this Earth thought this day would come.
But it had. All the training. All the time consuming practice and
dedication to his art. It all meant nothing at that very moment. He had
finally met his match.
The small white golf ball seemed to stare back at him as he
watched it. It lay there silently on the large patch of smooth green
grass that surrounded the small white hole in which he was supposed to
knock the ball.
Akane looked at Ranma, her hands on her hips. She let her golf
club rest silently against her hip while she waited.
P-Chan sat on the ground on the opposite side of the hole,
watching Ranma, a small grin covering his little piglet face.
The rest of the group, Nabiki, Kasumi, Soun, Genma, Nodoka, Ku,
Cloud, and Ukyo all waited, looking rather tired and bored.
�Come on, Ranma!� Nabiki called. �Other people want to play golf
to, you know!�
A thin coat of sweat gleamed on the pig-tailed martial artists
forehead. He moved into position and lowered his club so that it rested
just behind the ball. His tongue lolled out of the corner of his mouth
and he squeezed an eye shut, concentrating on the ball and the hole.
With a sudden, fierce battle cry, Ranma pulled the golf club back
and swung it forward. It struck the ball and sent it into the air with
great speed and verve.
P-Chan squealed and fell flat on his belly as the golf ball rushed
over his head. He looked up at Ranma and screeched in anger.
Everyone flinched as the sound of the golf ball striking and
embedding into a tree rung out through the course.
Ranma stood silently for a moment, staring after the ball. He
suddenly threw his club to the ground.
�Jeez! I ain�t no good at this, Akane! It ain�t like I can figure
out what were supposed ta be doin�! Why do we have to learn this game
anyway, huh??� Ranma turned to his fiancee, his face twisted in
frustration.
Akane stifled a chuckle and picked up her pitching wedge. She
walked past P-Chan toward her ball, looking up at Ranma. �Because it�s
something we can all do together, Ranma. Plus, there aren�t that many
full-sized golf courses in Japan. It�s a chance for us to do something
new.�
She stopped behind the small white ball and looked up at the
green, which she stood roughly a foot from.
Ranma moved away from the green, picking up his club.
Akane aimed her club at the ball and swung. The ball flew into the
air for a short moment and then landed on the green. It rolled slowly
towards the hole and fell in.
Akane smiled to herself and turned to face Ranma, who looked
rather astonished by the ease at which she managed to sink the ball. �It
isn�t that difficult. You just have to know what you are doing.� She
paused, then said, �And don�t hit it so hard. What kind of club did you
use?�
Ranma watched Akane as she approached him. He lifted his club.
�This big wooden one.� He held a three wood up in her face. �There are
too many of these things, so I just grabbed the nearest one.�
Akane stifled a laugh and pulled a putter from her golf club
holder. �Here, use this one.�
Ranma took the club and handed the three wood to Akane. He looked
the small metal club over. �This tiny thing?� He shrugged and walked
over to the tree. He reached up and pulled the ball from the bark and
dropped it.
The ball rolled down the hill that the tree stood on and back onto
the green.
Ranma walked back to the green and stood over the ball, looking
down at it. He lowered the golf club and began taking slow, deep
breaths. He pulled the club back and swung again - hard.
The ball soared into the air and flew toward a tree. Ranma watched
as it hit the tree and bounced off. It flew and hit another tree and
bounced back towards the green - and right into Ranma�s face.
�URK!!!� Ranma shouted as the ball struck him directly between the
eyes. His body fell backwards from the force of the small white ball and
he hit the ground hard, groaning.
�Good grief.� Akane walked up to Ranma slowly, shaking her head.
�Anything Goes Martial Arts wont help you on the golf course, Ranma.
You�re now training in Akane�s Anything Goes Golf.� A small grin covered
her face.
Ranma sat up slowly, his hand over his face. �Hey, if ya can learn
to boil water correctly, I can knock that lousy ball into a hole.� He
sprung to his feet and turned to face his ball, a big red dot tinted his
skin between his eyes.
Akane smirked, bending down to pick P-Chan up, who instantly
snuggled into her arms. �If you say so, Ranma.� She walked over to the
golf cart and picked up the score sheet. She marked a three under her
name. �It�s a par 3. It isn�t THAT hard.�
Ranma looked over towards his ball, which lay several inches from
the hole. �Okay ball....� His hands hung down by his hips. He wiggled
his fingers as if two guns were strapped to his waist.
Akane and the others watched, curious looks on their faces as
Ranma slowly approached the ball.
Ranma�s face twisted in a childish smile as he kicked his golf
club out of the way. �It�s just you and me now.�
Akane chuckled to herself. She could almost hear the whistling
music before a gunfight from old American western movies playing in her
head.
�Take this!� Ranma cried as he flung his body towards the ball. A
large cloud of dirt and grit rose into the air, covering the golf ball
and Ranma�s flaring arms and legs.
Akane stared in disbelief and her cheeks flushed red as complete
strangers began to watch the rather childish scene,vwhispering amongst
themselves.
Ku and Cloud glanced at each other and shook their heads
simultaneously.
The rest of them watched as the smoke cloud moved across the
green, Ranma�s grunts and oofs becoming louder as he continued to fight
the golf ball.
�Don�t tear up the green, Ranma!� Akane yelled, watching.
The cloud suddenly began to clear, and Ranma could be seen laying
on his back, his legs pointing up into the air. His pants and tai-chi
top were both torn and tattered.
The pig-tailed marital artist breathed heavily, laying on the
green, exhausted. His eyes opened slowly and he realized that the golf
ball lay on his forehead, right between his eyes.
His eyes crossed and he looked at the ball. �You are a worthy foe.
We�ll just call it a draw.� With that, he sat up slowly.
The golf ball rolled down Ranma�s nose, over his chest, and off of
his body. It whirled steadily along the green, between his legs, until
it hit and fell into the small white hole.
A smile washed over Ranma�s face and he was suddenly on his feet,
doing a small victory dance. �Yes! Witness my newly developed Saotome
School of Anything Goes Martial Arts Final Attack: The all powerful
Beat-The-Ball-Into-Submission Technique!�
Akane watched Ranma, a disbelieving look on her face. She sighed
and picked up the score sheet. �Well, at least you finally got the ball
in.� Under Ranma�s name, she wrote 247.
Ranma strolled over to Akane and glanced at the score sheet. �247.
That�s good, right?� He looked up at his fiancee, smiling smugly.
Akane opened her mouth to speak, then paused. She grinned weakly
and nodded. �Well, you�re certainly improving.�
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