Freemage <freemage@yahoo.com> wrote:

    Nabiki noticed that Ranma-chan wasn't going home via LEO
quicker than the pig-tailed girl did.  "Akane, you okay?"

Um... is Ranma-chan NOT the pig-tailed girl? Confused here. Or did you
mean 'Nabiki noticed faster than Ranma that he wasn't going....'

    Akane looked up, as if from deep thought, and said, "Yes,
I'm fine Nabiki... and I really want to thank you for covering

fine, Nabiki...

   Nabiki sat, not having to fake her shock.  {I don't believe
it.  He actually came up with a plan that works.  Still, I'll
have to pin him later tonight and work out some of the finer

'pin him' sounds like the wrong phrase here. 'pin him down,' maybe.
Nabby ain't no wrestler. :)

 It was Akane's turn to blink.  "Ahh... Thank you, Ranma."
She gave him a tentative smile--the kind that, unbeknownst
to her, tended to render his higher thought processes
inoperative.

No comment here... it would be a cheap shot anyway. :-)

  "Just what the Hell is going on in this town?  Nothing makes

Don't think 'hell' should be capitalized (not in this expression,
anyway).

  He paused for a moment, letting the analogy form in his mind
before continuing.  In order to fight that, you have to look for

Missing a quote mark.

  Ranma seemed to be grappling with some shadowy figure.  Except
that even in the faint and pale light of the moon that the

moon, the

  Akane knelt down beside her, and almost lost her nerve.  Only
the echo of Ranma's words {"... all I have left."} gave her the
strength she needed to carry on.

  She smiled at Onna-Ranma.  "Well, it's like Nabiki says: It
doesn't matter if we're both girls, right?"

If you're referring to "Secret Sauce," I don't think Nabiki actually
said that. She just sold Ranma a bucket of water and let him figure out
what it was for.

Yes!!  Another round of writer's block overcome!!

And there was much rejoicing!

Special thanks to Lara Bartram, whose single prod once again drove me
to the necessary level of personal terror to complete this thing. 

I'm now going to go out on a limb that I swore I'd never get on again
and predict... three more chapters, plus epilogue(s).  Next chapter
should not take too long, I hope, as the outline is pretty much
completed.  My primary motivation right now is that I've got another
fic in my head that's SCREAMING to be let out, but this thing is still
in the way.  

I know how that feels. :) And I'm glad to hear that this is ending.
Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying it very much, but I think it'll be
weakened if it drags on too long.

Anyway, good work as always; looking forward to more.


Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics.html