Just got back from AnimeFEST, and yay, some C&C! ^_^

Ronny Hedin <thark@mangakai.org> wrote:

..better late than never... ^_^

Always been my motto. :)

Theme song by Vincent Seifert (with alterations by G.K.)

Theme song? Gaah! Go away! Die! Disappear!
(long, too)

Don't worry, future chapters will only have a link to the song. I just
thought it should appear in full once, considering that Vince did so
much work on it, and this was the time since doing it earlier would've
caused trouble with spoliers.

	An announcement sputtered over Furinkan's public address system,
ending the school day. "Don't forget that submissions for the school
play are due tomorrow morning. See Mr. Mokusei with any questions."

Mr. Jupiter or Mr. Wooden? Though I fail to see a *good* pun

The latter; meant as a comment on his acting ability. Though the former
might make sense, as suggesting that the guy's way out there.

in either... (sure, it's also a *real* name, but that wouldn't
be you :))

Hey, they can't *all* be gems. :-) What can I say, I needed a name.

	"Jokes are easy to write. It's best to go for the cheapest
possible laugh. Forget about doing anything that requires any setup, or
anything satirical; your audience probably won't get it anyhow. Go for
cheap sight gags, pop culture references, and the occasional vague
remark that sounds like sexual perversion. That's what we did in the
last play, and we had people rolling on the floor."

Personally, I think this sounds a bit too advanced for H&D, but OK.

Stretching the characterizations a bit, I suppose, but all in the name
of satire.

	"Probably wasn't important, then." Ranma poured himself a glass,

Methinks Ranma needs an elementary lesson in Murphy's Law (especially
seeing as how none of the innumerable practical examples seem to work). :)

True, but it's better for the story if he never gets one. :)

touch-ups." The last page said that the old man was too stereotypical,
and that it would be better to humanize him, make him more sympathetic.
That was the only thing that would take some thought.

Uh? The last page said that...? *confused*

Meant the comments that were written on the last page. I'll try to
clarify.

*laugh*

Confusion. Wonderful.

^_^

	This was a difficult chapter to write; it went through several
different incarnations before I settled on a final form. Yuka's mom
really did have cancer in the first version; Ranma's misunderstanding
persisted through the whole fic in the second, and in the third, Akane's
wish really did give Dr. Tofu a cure for cancer, but it was such a goofy
procedure that no one would let him try it out. I'm not sure how well
the final product works. I tried to integrate this series usual comedy
with some serious elements, and I might've fallen on my face. You tell
me.

Methinks it worked pretty well. Better than the alternatives sound,
anyway.

I'm still considering a revision of this chapter where the disease is
something less serious than cancer.

Thanks for the comments!


Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics.html