Subject: [ffml][megaXover][was original] Voices in my Head
From: Allison M Yoneyama
Date: 9/5/1999, 4:25 AM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

[the lamp overhead is suddenly turned back on and a familiar scene
unfolds under its dim light.  The large conference table is illuminated
as are the bodies, not the faces, of the people seated around it.  The
camera zooms in on Insanity as she jumps across the table to land right
in front of it.  She presses her face up against the glass and screams
hellos to all the people she knows, which is basically everyone in the
room.  As she bounds off again, a hand reaches up and cleans off the lens
while a sweatdrop appears from nowhere.  The camera gets a close up of
the previous party and the mayhem continues.]

	"So, you�re meaning to tell me that we�re all going to be bumped off?" 
Depression reaches up and rubs his unseen head.  "Well, I should have
expected this."
	"Yes, well, I heard that Sanity was assassinated yesterday by forces
unknown," Reason pulls out a newspaper and spread it across the table. 
"See?"
	He points to an article which shows a prone figure with a dagger in its
back.  Tease stares at it in disbelief.
	"He was backstabbed?" she skims the article and shivers.  "It says the
dagger appeared out of nowhere and struck him while he was talking with
her Naga voice."
	"I didn�t do it!!" a sudden high pitched voice wails across the room.

[Camera switches over to a large woman, not Naga, who is fighting off the
Voice Police.]
	
	"But I swear I had nothing to do with the Jolt Cola theft!!" she screams
and is carried off.

[The camera resumes it�s focus on the others and shows them all
sweatdropping.]

	"Well, that was pointless," Doubt sighs and turns in time to see
Insanity grab his Jolt Cola and run off.  "Hey, dammit, that�s mine!!"
	"I didn�t do it!" the other woman screams again.
	"This is one hell of a messed up fanfic," Tease reaches out for her Jolt
and discovers it also missing.  Fire can be seen racing across her eyes
as she calmly stands and excuses herself, moving off into a side-
	*BAM*  Suddenly all the Jolt Colas are returned and Tease�s is five
times bigger than it previously was.  
	"I had a *talk* with the author," she smiles as she sips her drink.
	"We�re off topic," Reason pulls out his Sprite�er, Cherry Coke and opens
it.  
	"Were we ever on topic?" Doubt grabs his can of Jolt and reopens it.
	"I don�t think we have a topic," Depression calls out as he watches a
Rei Ayanami in her plug suit walk across his line of vision.  He watches
the girl until she leaves the room.  "Will you excuse me for a moment?"
	"No!" Reason pulls out a bunny slipper from somewhere and hits
Depression over the head.  "Sit down, Deppie."
	"Fine," the voice sits down and hangs his head.
	"We *had* a topic.  We are all going to be killed next week!" 
	"Oh, yeah, that thing," Tease calls for another Jolt and tosses off the
empty can.  
	"I think we�re all going to be killed during-" Reason suddenly stops
mid-sentence and keels over, dead.  A sharp dagger protruding out his
back.
	"Well, that�s done," Heero from GW steps back into the shadows and
disappears.
	"This fanfic is getting really weird," Depression sinks lower into his
cushiony chair and tries to look unassuming.
	"WHERE THE HELL IS MY JOLT, AUTHOR-SAN!!!?!?!?!?!?" Tease gets up
holding a rather large stuffed Teletubby and instantly gets another Jolt
in front of her.  She stashes the thing of evil under the table and
happily opens the can of soda.
	"We really should be worried, shouldn�t we, Deppie?" Doubt throws his
empty can of Jolt over his shoulder and calmly waits for his next.
	"Ano�I guess so," Depression closes his eyes and stares at the dead man
on the table.  "This is getting too weird�if she loses Reason, what can
happen next?"
	"I love you, you love me, we�re a great big-" a large purple dinosaur
appears out of nowhere and stands on the table singing his freakish
purple heart out.  Once again Heero, this time accompanied by three
others, step out of the shadows armed to the hilt with high tech weaponry
and spells.  Lina Inverse, Eva01, and Zelgadis Graywords all blast the
hell out of the certain purple dino and leave again.
	"This can�t get any weirder�" Doubt watches as Tasuki steps out and
flames the purple behemoth, leaving nothing but ashes.  "Nope, not
anymore�"
	"TASUKI-SAMA!!!!" Insanity leaps across the table and glomps onto
Tasuki�s arm.  "TASUKI-SAMA!!!  DID YOU COME TO SAVE ME?!"
	Tasuki stares at the shadowy girl and shrugs her off before disappearing
after all the others.
	"I think this qualifies as the stupidest fanfic I�ve ever been in," he
mumbles.
	"And I think this means that we are going to be next on the list�"
Depression cries.  "I can�t believe I live in the mind of this person.  I
can�t sink any lower."
	At that same moment a dagger appears out of nowhere and strikes the
headrest right next to Depression�s ear.
	"Oh, great Kami-sama," he whimpers and slides even further down into his
seat.
	"Okay, I�ve got it all figured out," Doubt smiles and crushes his empty
Jolt can on his forehead as the camera zooms in on him. "We�re all
getting bumped off as Allison�s voices and we�re being replaced by these
loony toon anime characters.  Then in an attempt to show the world just
how stupid she is, Allison makes up this fanfic and spreads its disease
across the web.  It�s already started.  That mysterious figure in the
corner is the new Reason, played by Amelia Wil Telsa Sailoon and her new
Sanity is that Chichiri guy standing in the corner.  But�her new Doubt is
here too�Zelgadis?!" 
	
[The camera goes blank and you can hear struggling in the background.  A
now tied up Doubt is sitting in the corner.  Zelgadis walks up to the
camera and punches out the camera guy before switching it off.]

	"Oh, and by the way�the banquet has been pushed up to Tuesday.  Please
make your best effort to be there.  There�s free food," a quiet voice
calls out from the darkness and then all is silent.

	Rants, flames, and anything else unpleasant can and will be fed to the
monster underneath my bed!!  All C&C will be given to me and my fairy
godmother.  If you are wondering, yes, I am on a sugar high at 1:30 in
the morning!!  My cat is on a diet so it can no longer eat flames, sorry.
 If you would like any of your voices to be part of the banquet, please
contact me at <muteki@juno.com> Of course minus the<> signs.  This was
going to be original, but what is a great piece of insanity without the
occasional pop up of the anime world!!!

	Until the next time you hear from me, this is MurasakiKaze signing off
from inside her padded cell room.

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