Mizuno Productions Presents 

Yet more Unauthorized Ultra Mayhem!!!

Angels Among Us....

Or what Lina Inverse did while she was dead.

Note, this piece of Ultra insanity hasn't been spell checked, grammar
checked, or check for ticks and fleas. If problems persist, please
contact your local vet. 

******

Gendou sighed, it had all gone to hell. All of his years of careful
manipulations had been shot down thanks to one angel, an angel who
happened to be a dead video game character. A character who just walked
in and took away Lillith without any of Nerv lifting a finger. 

Well, Gendou did send his son Shinji out to deal with the Angel, but that
had turned into a colossal failure as well. Instead of being a depressed
pilot who actually got the job done when he wasn't ranting against his
place in the universe he instead became a pilot who turned his back on
Nerv and all of Tokyo-3.

"It's as if Heaven itself is against me," Gendou sighed, wondering why
the Kamis would pick on him just to stop his simple plan. Sure he
kidnaped an angel, generally didn't care for his kid, and wanted to turn
all of Humanity into a fleshy goo just so he  could get some sex again.
But that doesn't mean he was evil. "Damn you Kasumi-sama!!!!"

"Yes Gendou-san," A meek Kasumi replied, suddenly appearing in Gendou's
office, "Do you need anything?"

Gendou tried to stop his heart from beating so fast, the years of pigging
out on hostess snack cakes were obviously catching up to him. But he
regained his composure quickly, reverting back to calm man who was in
control of everything, from the fate of the world to the colour of the
toilet paper in the men's washroom. 

"Why hello, Kasumi-sama! How nice to meet you!" he replied, without any
emotion in his voice, "And what brings you to Nerv today."

"Well, I came to serve you and my boss some coffee," the goddess
cheerfully replied, "he just get's so irritable if he doesn't have his
cup of 100% Columbian Coffee?"

"Your Boss?"

"Yes, my boss. He'll be here in a moment to discuss some business with
you Gendou-san," Kasumi finished as she filled Gendou's cup up to the
brim with steaming hot Java. The steam and aroma from the cup were almost
enough to overwhelm his senses, Gendou just loved 100% fresh ground
Columbian coffee. But he had more important things to worry about, all
involving the server of said coffee goodness.

"Err..Excuse me Kasumi-sama, but you don't have a boss. Aren't you god?"

"But I'm no longer god, there is somebody else in charge right now,"

And with that the large Titantron fired to life, the screen filled with
huge letters reading Y2C and a larger timer counting down to zero. Gendou
watched in fascination, partly in awe of the pyro and partly wondering
just how in the world a Titantron ended up in his office. But those
questions could be answered later, as the countdown reached zero.
Fireworks erupted, as a loud Kid Rock riff soon filled his office.

"Are you ready for some Controversy, Divine style !?!"

Gendou looked on, in a fully visible face fault, as in the middle of the
pyro stood the one man he didn't expect to see in his office, or anywhere
near Kasumi-sama. For in the middle of the pyro was a man with a rubber
duck, decked out in a ridiculously tacky outfit, his hair out of control. 

For in the middle of the pyro stood the King of Depravity, the Paragon of
Disgust, the one man who would destroy western civilization. 

In the middle of the pyro was that insane nut, Jack with his rubber duck. 

"Man, that's what I love about this job, I get to make such cool
entrances, right Mr. Duck" The man turned to talk to his duck, who seemed
to nod in approval. Gendou wasn't sure, he hadn't learned rubber duck
body language at his University. "Kasumi, some Instant Decaf please! I
have some business to discuss with the head of Nerv."

"Right away, Jack-sama!" Kasumi smiled as she picked up a tin of Maxwell
House instant coffee and started to stir it into the hot water. Jack
watched on, telling a private joke to his duck and laughing along. As for
Gendou, well he was still trying to assimilate all of the information he
just learned. 

"Jack...Jack..-sama?!?"

"You betcha, Controversy now rules the heavens like it right should.
Though I no longer call it heaven. Right Mr. Duck? Walla-Walla is a much
better name for the place."

"But...But...How?!" Gendou asked in amazement, wondering just how in the
world Kasumi, the person who had brought down his own plans for the
world, had ended up giving the divine job to this wacko. 

"Easy..Watch the next Ultra for the video highlights set to some really
kicking controversial music. And it isn't nice to call a person a Wacko,"
Jack smiled before he continued on, a smile that Gendou could tell was
full of Evil. After all he had used that smile many times before.
"Especially if he's hear to help you."

"Help me?"

"Well I was going to, but Mr. Duck doesn't like you anymore?"

"Ara?" Gendou replied, doing his best Kasumi impersonation. 

"You insulted Mr. Duck and he wants you to make it up to him."

"How can I do that?"

"Easy...You must do me one favor," The dialogue paused as Kasumi set up
the mood lighting and the dramatic music needed for the scene. Jack-sama
always insisted on well placed lighting and music, you just couldn't be
controversial without it. "You must bring me some Cheesy Puff's and
Macaroni Pictures or no help!!"

"MISATO!!!!" Gendou yelled through the intercom, "Get me some Cheesy
Puff's and Macaroni Pictures up here now!!!"

"WHAT!!!" Misato yelled, "Have you lost what little hold you have left on
your sanity?"

"I haven't. Just bring them up here now!!! And for punishment wear your
bunny suit please!!!" Gendou killed the connection before Misato could
complain any further. "There, is Mr.Duck happy now?"

"He will be once it get's here but we can talk business now. You see I
need to find an item of some importance to me. And I was figuring, well
this place spits out Rei's like the plague so I can use them to create
and army of them to find this item. Mr. Duck liked that idea because he
really likes Rei's, especially when they're in plug Suits."

"And what's in it for us,"

"Why I help you bring your plan back on track."

Gendou paused, "You mean we'd get Lillth back?"

"No, something much better and much more useful," Jack smiled, as he flew
his duck around. 

"What can be better than Lillth,"

"Oh I don't know, a couple of black Monoliths on the Moon and near
Jupiter. Ones similar to the one that landed on earth way back when."

"What...What do you mean," But before Gendou could finish his door buzzed. 

"Misato here, in the bunny outfit like you requested."

"Enter please," Gendou said, regaining some his lost composure. There was
no point in letting his servants know that he lost his cool, especially
when final victory would be in his hand soon enough. 

The door cracked open, as Misato walked in with an extra large box of
cheesy puff's and a larger assortment or Nerv family Macaroni pictures
for the last company picnic. And Misato had a red face, as she walked in
wearing high heeled boots that went up to her knees. Her outfit looked
like a multi colour sailor outfit, though more tight fitting than the
ones most normal school girls wore. And to top it off was a pair of white
wings which made her look like an angel. 

"Whoo hah!! Some good old fashioned controversial joke recycling! What do
you think Mr. Duck!" Jack paused for a few minutes as held the duck up to
his ear. "He likes it, so the deals done. Now let me at the Rei's
please!!!"

"Sure, this way!!" Gendou exclaimed, dodging the moon scepters Misato was
sending his way. Gendou had to laugh, he was about to use this nutzoid
god to accomplish his own plans. Plans that involved the end of heaven,
the world, and everything else as we know it. But it especially involved
the end of one plastic rubber duck. 

And in the background, stood Kasumi, slowly stirring coffee as she hummed
her cooking song, watching the two walk slowly into the heart of Nerv. 

*******

If she sighed, Rei Ayanami would have let lose with one of the biggest in
history. She was in the middle of her third public appearance today, she
was opening up a local Anna Millers in what remained of Hokkaido-5
(Godzilla really loved to rampage through  Hokkaido these day's). She once
again had to enter into her plug suit, wave to the fans, sign autographs
and answers some stupid questions. It was enough to make anyone sigh in
despair. 

But Rei never sighed, she just did what she was ordered to do and that
was all. And if she was ordered to mass market herself to the Japanese
public then she would do it. 

"Thank you Ayanami-san, you made this launch very successful!!!" the
manager said as he bowed. Rei just watched on with her usual cool look,
she didn't really care what they thought. She did what she was told and
that was that. 

"Thank you," she replied in a voice that all phone computers want to grow
up to be like, and with that she left to enter her limo and make her way
to her next appearance. This one was cutting the ribbon on yet another
Street Fighter Game, Street Fighter Alpha Zero 4th Impact Strike EX +.
The hype said it had 2 new characters with only 50% Shotokan moves, which
would of impressed anyone. 

To Ayanami it was just data to be memorized on the trip. Another 4 hour
trip where she would just sit still and stare. Or if she was really
feeling frisky, she'd turn her head once or twice. 

But this trip was different, for sitting in the back of the limo was a
passenger, a passenger with long red hair and rather diminutive chest.
She seemed to have shimmering glow about her and had 2 small blue flames
to sides of her. "Hello, I'm the ghost of the dreaded and Famous Bandit
Killer Lina Inverse nice to meet you."

Rei said nothing, and just stared at the front of the limo. 

"Ara....Aren't you just a bit shocked at the fact there is a ghost in
your limo?"

Again, Rei said nothing, though she turned her head towards Lina this time. 

"Err.....Aren't you at least curious as to why I'm here?"

"Why are you here, Inverse-san?" 

"I'm here because Shinji sent me to protect you!!!"

"Why would Ikari-kun do that?"

Lina paused as she scratched her non-existent head with her ghostly hand,
Shinji was right about her. Paint drying had more social excitement than
her. "Because he said you would need protection, since he turned on Nerv
and helped Aerith free Lilith."

Lina paused as she expected a big outburst from the Nerv Employee, but
was met with a simple "Oh."

A face fault soon followed, and Lina had to recover before continuing on,
this time looming over the Albino girl. "Is that all you can say!!! Your
friend is worried about you that he sends an Angel like me to protect you
and you can only say Oh!?!"

"How nice of Ikari-san, but didn't you say you were a Ghost!!"

"Details, Details," Lina laughed, "I just need to pull some more public
Service so I can get a good position in The Relief Goddess Office and
Shinji said he needed help. He also said we have the potential to bond,
though I'm not so sure about it."

An awkward silence soon followed, as Rei continued to look forward. 

"Okay..." Lina paused as she continued, "Well since we're all cool on the
bonding thing, I thought what better way for a clone to bond with a
spirit then to start off with some cool videos. I borrowed this Yaoi
stuff off Urd so it should be good!!!" 

An Evil laugh soon followed as the picture started, Rei still looking
forward. Though if you looked close enough, and looked really hard, you
could see a sweat drop starting to from on her brow. 

It wasn't much, but it was a start.....

********

The End for now..........

OMAKE!!! OMAKE!!!!

Man, I can't believe I did this since I loathe Eva (And that's the
politically correct way for me to phrase it). But with the way the PPV
was booked this idea just came to me and took hold...:P

Jack, needs someone to find his object of godly (And manly power). Gendou
needs a way to starts his insane project up again. And Jack has a free
spot on his team so...:)
 
Rei, is in limbo because Shinji turned. Lina needs something to do until
the Dragonballs are found. Both share the same Sieyuu, ergo...:)

And yes, I know the Misato/Usagi joke was done before..I just had to do
it myself..:)

Also playing Thus Spach Zathustra in certain parts would also be cool...:)

Augh..Enough Ultra..Must do work on other projects...:)

FREE BENOIT~!

Ja ne!!

Richard Beaubien
----------------
Suzuki Arimi, Mizuno Ami, Aya-san forever!!!! WAI!!!

Fanfic homepage http://www.anime.sobhrach.com/~beaubird/