Yup, it's back, and Benji-Chan still isn't on the list (in fact she's on her way to LA), so enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please remember to feed the author. ^_^
OK, just a note. The suffix 'chan' indicates somebody's female form or somebody's child form. Wow! That's
actually relevant to the story! 
Next, the thanks. Thank you Hotnit! Finally, I have Ranma anime!!! Uh... I'd also like to thank my Mommie
for letting me stay up all night on the trot. Without her electricity I would not have been able to do
this. Plus, I'd like to thank Kai-chan, my proofreader (Not worthy!! Not worthy!!) for her own unique
brand of motivation (Get typing, you rotten little maggot, or I'll wipe your hard drive, steal all your
manga and burn all your anime!!!!!) ^_^ Right, Academy Awards over with, onto the groveling. Disclaimer.
(Do I _have_ to go through this again? Oh well...) 
Dearest Takahashi goddess, I humbly apologise for stealing your marvellous creations and turning them
inside out. Feel free to throw me into the spring of drowned Happi-chan.
I can't recall all of the other people I've stolen characters from, if they start to hunt me down, IT WAS
ALL *HIS* FAULT!!!! (Points vaugely at a passing schoolboy.)

CTB VOL 3 - The nameless filler-volume.

============
PROLOGUE
Get Lost.
============

"Where on Earth are we now...?"
For once in a lifetime, these immortal words were uttered by somebody other than Ryoga Hibiki. In fact,
they were now being gasped by Nabiki Tendo, who was beginning to wonder exactly _what_ drugs Cologne was
using in her restaurant. 
"If my calculations are correct, then we're near Urawa..."
The rest of Washu's sentence was cut off by a loud scream of "SHUT UP!!!!!" from the rest of the group.
"Miss Little Sensei, the whole point of this is for us to _get_ lost. And we can't do that if we know
where we are. So when Nabiki asks where we are, ignore her!" Ranma explained.
"I know, I now!" Washu said in an aggrieviated voice. "And that's Little Washu."
"Guys, can we take a break now?" Mihoshi's voice floated forward.
Akane nodded. "Yeah, it's three am. I think we should get some sleep," she agreed.
Mousse snorted. "I thought the little fluff-head would be eager to go bouncing around the country
searching for her knight in shining armour," he teased.
"Mousse, you're talking to a lamp post," Ranma informed him. Mousse quickly turned and glared at Mihoshi.
"Watch it, girlyboy." Mihoshi stuck her tongue out. "Remember, this fluff-head carries a laser pistol."
"Mihoshi!" Washu scolded.
Mihoshi tried to look suitably abashed. "Sorry." 
"Shampoo and Airen share tent, is OK?" Shampoo declared eagerly, her and Tsubasa racing to pitch a tent as far 
away from the others as possible.
"You two aren't married yet, you know!" Cologne called. 
Mousse almost choked on his tongue. *Hibiki, this is all your fault!!! When we get you back, I'll rip you
limb from limb and enjoy every second of it!!!*
"You are _so_ obvious," Mihoshi said boredly. "Everyone can see you murdering him in your mind. There are
laws here, you know. I could get you put away for lightyears if you touch him."
"You're pathetic," Mousse sneered. "He's engaged."
"So's Shampoo," Mihoshi fired back. Mousse gave up and the two of them sat across from each other,
attempting to gouge each other's eyes out with imaginary fingernails.

"Ryoga? Wake up! I SAID wake up!!" Ukyo shook the girl violently, with absolutely no success. "Drat!" She
sat on the edge of the bed and went over her options. *Well, there's the old fashioned method of tipping
a cup of cold water over him. But I dare not do that again or he'll blow up at me.* Hitting him with the
spatula was no good - it would just knock him straight back out. With a sigh of resignation, she shook
her again. "RYOGA! WAKE UP!!"
"Ferme ta grande bouche..." Ryoga-chan mumbled, before rolling over and pulling the covers over her head.
Ukyo blinked. *OK, this calls for drastic measures now.* With that thought, she leaned over and started
to tickle her.
It worked. 
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" Ryoga-chan jumped about twelve feet into the air and whirled around to face the
giggling Ukyo. "What the hell did you do that for?!!"
Ukyo sniggered. "You get mad when I splash you and yelling didn't work so I tried a different approach."
"Yeah, well it's no less annoying," Ryoga-chan grumbled under her breath. She curled up on the floor and
pulled the covers up again. "And it's still early. Wake me later," she finished with a yawn.
"Ryoga Hibiki, if you do not get up and dressed within the next ten seconds, I _will_ splash you with
cold water," Ukyo threatened. "We need to figure out how we're getting out of here."
"Whatever you say, oh lord and master," Ryoga-chan mumbled under her breath.
"What was that you said?!"
The image of an oversized splatula crowded Ryoga-chan's mind and she quickly sat up. "I said, I'm up!"
"Wow, you look dreadful," Ukyo informed her. 
"Thank you."
"No, seriously." Ukyo leaned forward and placed a palm against her forehead. "How do you feel?"
Ryoga-chan yawned. "I feel fine, so stop worrying," she said, walking over to the large dresser and
looking in the mirror. "I..." She stopped with a frown. "Hmm..."
"What?"
Ryoga-chan glanced at her over her shoulder. "I wonder if I'd be able to use that mirror trick to get us
out of here...?" She carefully placed her hands on the surface of the glass.
You know when you have a glass of lemonade? With one of those cute straws? And when you look at it, the
straw bends and looks smaller in the lemonade? That's what happened to Ryoga-chan's fingers, except it
was more like sticking your fingers into a moving blender blade rather than a glass of lemonade.
"OWWW!!"
 With a hiss of pain, she rapidly withdrew her hand, blood running down her fingers. "Well, _that_
 obviously didn't work!" *Stupid baka mirror, won't even let me go home when I want to!*
"Are you all right?" Ukyo tried to examine her hand as it was waved through the air (like you do when you
burn your fingers trying to get the toast out of the toaster).
Ryoga-chan gritted her teeth. "I feel as though I have just stuck my hand into the moving blades of a
rotary fan. Of COURSE I'm all right!!! What could possibly be wrong?!?!"
"Hey, jerk, just because I'm trying to show a little concern here, you don't have..." Ukyo bit her
tongue. "I'm sorry."
"Huh?!?!" Ryoga-chan ceased waving her hand in the air and stared at her companion. 
"Can I take a look at your hand...?" Ukyo asked carefully, reaching out her arm.
"I...I guess so..." *Sense of impending doom! Why is she apologising? Why is she being nice to me when I
yelled at her?* Ryoga-chan carefully held her hand out, half expecting Ukyo to grab her by the wrist and
throw her through the air. 
Instead, Ukyo simply removed the ribbon from her hair and tied it around her hand in a makeshift bandage.
"There. You'll be OK, just don't try that again or you'll be lucky to keep your fingers attached to your
hand."
"..." *... Why is she being nice, dammit! Even more importantly, how can I get it to last???* Ryoga-chan
stared at Ukyo, who was prowling through the closet.
"Here." 
Ukyo tossed a dress over to her, jolting her out of her trance. Ryoga-chan pulled a face. "This is a
dress. Isn't there anything else?"
"No," Ukyo chirped cheerfully. "Now get dressed, then go away." She examined the other girl critically as
she yanked the long dress over her head. "You should've worn a nightgown. Washu's right, you'll freeze
yourself to death if you're not careful."
"I am not wearing a nightgown!!!" Ryoga-chan snapped. "You've seen the ones there, they're all lacy and
silky and small... and tight... and slinky..." she trailed off slowly as her gaze travelled over Ukyo,
wearing a such said nightgown and a scowl. *Oh boy... she looks _SO_ cuuute...* Her brain instantly
fried.
"PERVERT!!!!!!!!" Seeing blood trickling from her companion's nose, Ukyo grabbed the spatula of doom and
swung.
*THUMP*
"What a maroon," she muttered, nudging Ryoga-chan's fainted body with her toe.

End Prologue

=============
PART I
Premio o Castigo.
=============

"RANMA!!!"
Ranma looked up just in time to have a mallet implanted in his skull. Mihoshi blinked in surprise and oh
so carefully moved away from Akane. "Uh... why did you do that?"
"He said he wasn't hungry and yet I find him here eating instant ramen like there's no tomorrow," Akane
seethed.
"If I ate your so-called cooking, there WOULD be no tomorrow..." Ranma mumbled from beneath wood.
*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*
"BAKABAKA JERK!! I HATE YOU!!!" Akane screamed at his now-mangled body.
"Ranma Saotome, how dare you insult the cooking of the fair Akane Tendo?!" snarled Kuno. 
"You eat it then," Ranma muttered.
"That I shall." Kuno grabbed the plate of 'food' from Akane and wolfed it down before she could stop him.
"Urk! F-foul wizard, how d-dare you poison the food of..." He mercifully fell unconscious, clutching his
stomach.
"Told ya so," gloated Ranma.
*WHAM*WHAM*
"WHO ASKED YOUR OPINION??! YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY ANY!!!"
"You know, Cosmo says you are most attracted to the kind of boy you think you hate," Nabiki said calmly.
Akane and Mihoshi both pulled identical looks of disgust. "That's ridiculous," Akane snapped. 
Nabiki smirked. "Is it? Just look at Shampoo and Tsubasa."
Mihoshi gagged. "I'd rather not. They're being too cutesy for words."
A small distance away, Mousse twitched as Tsubasa placed an arm around Shampoo's waist. *Kill... blood...
painpainpain... must stay in control...* The two turned and locked lips. *To hell with control! I can't
take this any more!!!* He charged forward, waving armfuls of arsenal. "TSUBASA, PREPARE TO DIE!!!"
*SPLASH*
Shampoo didn't even bother to break off the kiss as she squirted a water pistol at the enraged amazon and
booted the squawking duck away from them.
Washu stretched her arms. "Come on, we still haven't found them yet."
"I have a question," Cologne spoke up. "If this realm is in another dimension or something, how are we
supposed to get there?"
"We use Mihoshi's cube."
Ranma picked himself up and chased after the departing group. "Can this get any worse?" he grumbled to
Mousse.
*SPLASH*
"Ranma, my girl! How could you leave your master behind like that?" 
"PIGTAILED GIRL!!! I LOVE YOU!!!"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! GET AWAY!!!" Ranma-chan ran blindly, Happosai bouncing along behind her.

"Ucchan, here's my christmas list," Ryoga-chan muttered as they sat down to breakfast. "Gun."
Ukyo paused with her fork halfway to her mouth. "What for? I thought you'd finally gotten over this
killing Ranma thing now you've defeated him."
"It's to shoot myself with." *Although maybe shooting Ranma wouldn't be a bad idea...* she thought,
remembering the new challenge. Her mind began to wander...
---UNLIKELY SCENARIO---
It's night time in Paris and for some reason, the scene is in black and white. The Eiffel tower is in the
background and the Vermicious Knids from Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator have chosen that moment to
come charging into the Earth's atmosphere. The Sailor Senshi, Hyperdolls, Power Rangers and Ghostbusters
have all fallen to the might of Doctor Dolittle... OK then, Doctor Evilbugger, who has taken Ukyo
hostage. And Ryoga's in male form (naturally!), also in his Magical Guy Makoto costume. He fights the
guards, escaping all the bullets Arnie Shwarzehoweveryouspellit's style and burst's into the mansion's
ballroom, the HQ for Doc Evilbugger. Ukyo's in a lilac ballgown but is also gagged and hancuffed to a
chair. Doc Evilbugger switches from stroking his white cat to stroking her *CENSORED*CENSORED*CENSORED*
Oops.
*CUT*
*REWIND*
*RECORD*
arm.
Doc Evilbugger: I knew you'd come for her... bwahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Ryoga: Take your filthy hands off her, Doctor Evilbugger!!!
Ukyo: MPHMMM!! 
Doc Evilbugger: Make me. (Moves his hands to *CENSORED*CENSORED*CENSORED*
Umm... oops again?
*CUT*
*REWIND*
*RECORD*
her neck. Ryoga takes a step forward and Doc Evilbugger raises a hand.) I don't advise you move any
closer though. There are lasers surrounding us and if you try to move any further they'll slice you to
ribbons. (Smirks and resumes stroking the white cat.) I will however, make a deal with you.
Ryoga: What do you want?
Doc Evilbugger: I want you to fight my finest creation. If you live, I'll let you go. If you don't, tough
buns.
Ryoga: Let the girl go. If you don't let her go, I swear I'll kill you!
Doc Evilbugger: Weeeellllll... (Twiddles his moustache thoughtfully.) OK. But only if you live. (Pulls
the gag off of Ukyo's mouth.) Say your goodbyes!
Ukyo: Magical Guy Makoto! Don't do it, I beg of you! I've seen his creation - it's a monster! There's no
way you can defeat it! Just go, leave me here!
Ryoga: How many times do I have to tell you, I'm not going to leave you here alone?
Doc Evilbugger: (Watching this exchange and looking confused.) Magical Guy Makoto?
Ukyo: (Turning on him.) Yes, Magical Guy Makoto! Let him go, the only person with a chance of defeating
that... thing... is my fiance, Ryoga!
Ryoga: But I AM Ryoga. (Takes off his mask. Ukyo faints.)
Doc Evilbugger: I knew that. (Calls over his shoulder.) Bring in the Terminator!!
Ryoga: The... Terminator????
ENTER the Terminator. Looks just like the original terminator, even has the same accent.
Doc Evilbugger: Kill, my beauteous creation!!
Terminator: (Always speaking in a dead sounding monotone.) All threats to SkyNet must be Terminated,
preferably with lots of guns, explosions and property damage.
Doc Evilbugger: Ah ah ah, not in the mansion!
Ryoga: (Standing his ground confidently.) Heh. I may only be 16, but I've seen the Terminator movie, one
AND two! Plus, this is a fantasy. (Points at the ceiling. Very big... make that VERY big piston {Like the
ones in the Scrap Brain Zone - or the Final Zone - in Sonic the Hedgehog, which always smushed me to
bits.} squishes the Terminator into okonomiyaki that Ukyo would be proud of, if she were conscious.) I
can change the structure of the building!
Doc Evilbugger: Noooo!!! Damn you, Ryoga Hibiki! Damn you to hell! I swear, I will have my revenge!
(Jumps into a helicopter, still holding the white cat.) You have not seen the last of Doctor Evilbugger,
PhD!
Terminator: (From underneath a pile of roof rubble and metal.) I'll... be... back...
Ryoga: (Running over to Ukyo.) Ucchan! Are you all right??? (Unties her and hugs her as she wakes up.
They jump apart as soon as they realise this.)
Ukyo: Y-you're Magical Guy Makoto?! You?!
Ryoga: I... I wanted to tell you, truly I did... (Looks at the floor.)
Ukyo: So you're the one who keeps on saving my life. Oh Ryoga...
Ryoga: (Looks up.) Huh?!!
Ukyo: (Flings her arms around him.) I'm so happy!!!
The scene magically changes to the balcony, where once again, the shooting Knids - I mean stars! - and
the Eiffel tower can be seen. Somehow, their clothes and hair are completely unruffled. They stare into
each others eyes and the sugar becomes too much for the poor author, who luckily, has managed to smuggle
home a few airsick bags from her holiday, which come in handy now.
Ryoga: Ucchan...
Ukyo: Ryoga...
Terminator: Get on with it already, some of us have morning sickness!
Because this is fantasy, no noses bash, no-one has bad breath and Ukyo doesn't have to stand on a box and
strain her neck. Instead, they kiss... and kiss... and kiss... and... does nobody breath in this??? Fireworks 
explode in the background (Maybe it's Bastille day!) and the citizens of France cheer and...
"Ryoga?"
She woke up. "Huh?! What?!"
"Are you all right, my dear? You look a bit flushed," Tinamous said in concern. "And your nose is
bleeding."
Ryoga-chan pinched her nose and giggled nervously. "I-I'm fine, really!"
"Hentai," Ukyo whispered. 
"Am not!" she whispered back, a bit annoyed. She turned back to her okonomiyaki with a scowl, and stabbed
it viciously. *As if kissing her would go as smoothly as that anyway!*
---LIKELY SCENARIO---
The two of them are standing at the top of Tokyo tower in the evening. Ryoga, (Once again in male form!)
shyly wraps his arm around Ukyo's shoulders. She turns and looks up at him, smiling cutely.
Ukyo: This was fun.
Ryoga: Um... t-thanks...... U-Ucchan?
Ukyo: Yes?
Ryoga: C-c-can I... I-I m-m-mean w-would y-you l-l-l-let m-me...
Ukyo: (Puzzled.) What?
Ryoga: C-c-c-can I k-k-k... (Mumbles.) canicissu?
Ukyo: (Even more puzzled.) Huh? What did you say?
Ryoga: Can I k-kiss you?
Ukyo: NO YOU CAN NOT!!!! 
With this, she picks up the fire hose, sprays him with it and then throws her off the top of Tokyo tower.
"Yoo hoo! Ryoga!" Ukyo waved a hand in front of her. "Wake up!"
"AAAHHH!!" Ryoga-chan jumped in shock. "What d'you do THAT for?!?"
"Do what?" Ukyo asked, slightly bemused. "I just waved, that's all."
"You are such a tomboy!" Ryoga-chan scowled and stabbed at her okonomiyaki again.
"What?! What did I do?!!"

End Part I
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Member 30 of SSoAGMA, Deadly Everyday Object Weaponary Technique, Dragon Warrior Style
Mousse no miku; Generally dangerous English otaku; Supporter of cliched pairs;
Member of the Chan club; WoS; SCG; COURT; SOotCiP;CotMHW - Launderer of the Robes of Death;
Head Castrator of the Hotnit Feminisation Project; Keeper of the Moneybags for the Hotnit Fan Club;
4th Gen. EOE; Image Consultant For "That Guy"; #WASHU#;AKPReSS, Gen. Div.; SLAP;
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Coming soon to list near you.. the legendary 50 foot sig of Team Chan !
"I just went to Germany, and all I got was this lousy sig!"