A few moments after the curtains fell and the lights went up, just as
several audience members began to collect themselves and depart in
disgust, a muffled shout could be heard from somewhere off-stage. The
sound of running feet vibrated along the stage as a ripple passed through
the curtains, progressing from left to right, until it reached center
stage and disgorged a very harried-looking, and rather badly maimed
author. 

Laying face down on the dusty floor, her feet still trapped under the
curtain, Eimii glanced up at the audience wearing an appologetic look.
"Hey there folks. Sorry i'm late, eheh..."

Rubbing the back of her head in embarasment, the author was somewhat
startled to see that her palm was covered in blood afterward. "Er... i
just came by to say a few things about this fic. For those of you who are
wondering how i could waste time on this, when i have so many other things
that i haven't finished yet, well, the answer is, i didn't. Most of this
fic isn't really new material; the bulk of it has been sitting on my hard
drive for about two years now, gathering dust while i tried to figure out
what the hell to do with it..."

A rustling behind the curtains caused Eimii to flinch violently, before
turning back to the audience with a pleading look. "But i'd still love to
hear any comments, criticism, or just general things you have to say about
this fic anybody but my prereaders has ever seen it. I also haven't
stopped work on any of my other projects, and i should have some more time
pretty soon, since i get to quit my job and go back to school in a week or
so.

"Anyway, i'd like to thank my pre-readers, Jim 'The Prince of Rant'
Nutley, T.H. Tiger, and The Eternal Lost Lurker for all the help they gave
me in turning this into something remotely presentable." The rustling grew
louder, accompanied by a tell-tale crack of thunder. "Unfortunately, i
think my cast has some things they'd like to 'discuss' with me in private,
so i think i'll be-"

Any further explanation was cut off rather abruptly, as Eimii suddenly
found herself pulled back behind the curtain, though some of the more
disgruntled audience members were probably gratified to hear the strangled
screams of agony that began to fill the air, even through the baffle of
the double curtain...