[Ranma] "No Need for Ranma!" (1/?)
By Henry J. Cobb
$Id: no_need_for_ranma1.txt,v 1.16 1999/08/05 01:52:29 hcobb Exp $

The Ranma 1/2 characters and situations are the creation of Rumiko
Takahashi.  No infringement of her copyrights is intended.

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Prologue.

---------- Eleven years ago.

The old thief ran like a dog.

Ranchan perched nimbly on the roof of our cart as it creaked and bounced
along the road.  He didn't even need to use his hands to steady himself and
so pulled at the sides of his mouth as he stuck his tongue out, "Nyaaiii!,
you can't catch us!"

"Come back here, you jackasses!"  Taking my eyes off the road was a mistake,
I  stumbled and fell, hurting my knee.  I cried, just like a little girl,
in frustration and pain.

Suddenly, I felt small arms around me.  It was Ranchan, he had hoped
off the cart.  Suddenly, it didn't feel so bad.

"Please don't cry Ut'chan, please be OK."

"Come on boy!" His father tried to pry us apart, but Ranchan wouldn't let go.

"OK Ranma, you win.  I'll try to raise you both."  He lifted us together
and placed us both on the cart.

Ranchan taught me so much that day, about commitment.

---------- Six years ago.

The taste of blood, the smell of fish, the sound of confused mewing.

I took a careful breath and opened my eyes.  I pushed against the wall to
get to my feet.  I hurt all over but nothing was broken, I'd live.

The old man just lay there, like a lump, gently sobbing.

I stepped over some housecats.  They didn't move.  They just sat there and
looked at nothing, but at least they were breathing.

I wiped the blood out of my eyes, and stepped up to the old man.

"Nodoka's gonna kill me.  Nodoka's gonna kill me." He repeated over and
over.

"Shut up!" I shouted at him.  "Get up!"

"She's gonna kill me!" he looked up.

"I'll kill you now if you don't help me find him."

---------- Four weeks ago.

Jusenkyou at last.  Just a bunch of springs with bamboo poles stabbed into
them.  Fairly desolate, it matched my heart, broken twice by kind hearted
boys.

Shut up, I thought to myself, it wasn't Ranchan's fault or Ryouga's either.

"So, this is it, the Nanniichuan?"  I asked our guide.

"Yes, is very tragic story of boy who fall in spring..."

"I've heard it.  What kind of boy does it turn you into?"

"This generic template type spring being.  It turn whoever get dunked
into male human like they would be born as if they born woman or animal
was.  To the young master, his father or myself no effect there would be
being."

"Perfect, this will do."  I looked down into the still waters.  You won't
heal my broken heart will you?  But you're just what I need, for Ranchan.

"Are you sure that you want to do this?"  The old man asked.

"Yes Pop, as sure as anything.  This is the only way to keep my promises
and yours."

"Surely the young master will not be changed by this spring.  Unless,
the young master already has a curse?"

"No, this is my first."  With that I dived in.  And I was changed.

After I pulled myself up on shore I looked back in the spring and studied
the reflection of my new face.  It was almost exactly the same as my old
face, but a little more manly.  It was an even better fit to Ranchan's.  How
he should look anyway.

I was finding it difficult to breathe, so I unfastened my shirt and removed
the binding cloth.  I didn't need it anymore.

"Why young master wear cloth so tightly around his chest?"

"I uh, had some bruised ribs.  They're OK now."  I turned away from the
two of them to adjust my clothes and check myself out.  "Yes, it's all
here.  Come'on Pop, it's time to see mother."

---------- Now.

Thursday morning, The Saotome residence.  This is where I had wanted to
come, the woman I had wanted to meet, as my new mother-in-law.

My own mother died before I met Ranchan.  That was why my father was so
willing to foist me off on Genma.

Now I had a new mother, and I'd best watch myself around her.  One slip
might not mean my life, but it would cost hers and Genma's.  I'm not
going to let that happen Ranchan.  I'll play your part and make her proud
of you.

"Come'on pop, be brave."  I pulled him along to the door and I knocked
and waited.

"Hello?"  She looked so much like Ranchan.  Like he was before.

"Mother!" I hugged her.

"Ranma?!?"  She replied with her own hug.

"Yes mother, I'm back."

"Ranma, let me get a good look at you."  Nodoka held me at arms length
and studied me.  A flicker of doubt crossed her face, then she accepted.
It had been more than a decade since she'd seen her son.  And the photos
we'd sent recently had of course been mine.

"Dear, I was a fool to doubt you."  She addressed Genma.  "You've raised
our son so fine and manly.  Please come in home, both of you."

Nodoka brought the tea and cakes from the kitchen.  "It's been so long.
Surely you could have found some time to visit.  I thought that you two
had been avoiding me."

"We have mother."  Genma gave a quick start at my reply.  "We had to.
We couldn't let anything distract us from the art.  But now, I'm ready.
I'm ready to see to the second part of the promise."

"The combining of the two schools?  The Tendo daughters?"  She asked,
"We could go over right now and meet them."

"No mother, please give me a few days to rest and gather my courage."

"My manly son is afraid?"

"Yes I am mother.  I've never been around girls.  I don't know anything
about them."  Genma made a soft choking sound at that.  "I need your
help now, to teach me what to do.  Perhaps we could start by talking
about them?"

"Well, as you know, Soun has three daughters..."

"Did you get the photographs of them mother?"

"Why yes, just a second", she returned with a few photos, "Now the
oldest one, Kasumi, well the son of my close friend is interested in
her, so we'll skip her by.  And the youngest one, Akane, is something of
a tomboy, practicing martial arts and always getting into fights.  But,
the middle daughter, Nabiki, she's exactly the very model of a proper
young lady."

"What sort of things is she interested in?"

"Well, she's always reading and she's very good with math."

"She sounds like a bookworm."

"She's just studious.  She's also interested in fashion and she's always
got friends coming by to get her advice."

"What sort of martial arts does she study?"

"She doesn't.  I told you, she's a proper young lady."

"But mother, the whole point of this engagement is to combine the two
schools.  How can I do that, if I don't marry another martial artist?"

"Akane can pass on what she knows to her nephews, and Soun has quite a few
good years left in him.  You came back to me son, for my advice and my
suggestion is Nabiki.  After all, what sort of mother would a martial
artist be?"

Friday morning, I set out early for "jogging".  I went to the Tendo
residence and waited.

A few minutes later Nabiki and Akane set out in their school uniforms,
I followed discretely.

A few blocks later, Akane spun around suddenly and I had to duck behind
a corner.

"What is it Akane?"  Her sister asked.

"Oh, it's nothing Nabiki,"  Akane shifted her bookbag to her left hand and
picked up her pace towards school, leaving Nabiki behind.

I hoped over the fence to avoid Nabiki and when I caught sight of Akane
again she was just outside the gates of Furinkan High.

Akane shouted "I hate boys!" and charged through the gates.

I leapt over the schoolwall and into a tree by the gates to see what was up.

Dozens of teenage boys were running towards Akane.  Some were in what I
judged to be the school uniform for boys of Furinkan High, but the rest
were dressed for various sports.

A tennis player charged forwards and swung his racket at Akane's head, but
she ducked and replied with a kick to his midsection before twisting around
to slam a rugby player with her bookbag.

"I won't let any other boy defeat you!"  A kendoist charged Akane, "I'll do
it myself!"  He went down after Akane's kick met his face.

Akane lashed out again and again as the boys piled in.  Her face grimly set
as she followed attack with attack.  Her raw strength was obvious but her
moves followed a fixed pattern as if she was simply lifting weights again
and again.

With her attackers scattered at her feet, Akane shook the sweat out of her
hair, then turned to face a tall boy in kendo gear.

"Be ye prepared, Akane Tendo?"  He lifted his bokutou in a salute.

"I am, Upperclassman Kuno,"  Akane dropped her bookbag and balled her fists.

As they fought, this Kuno seemed to have a slight advantage over Akane,
especially with his greater reach magnified by his weapon against her bare
hands.  He did not press the attack on several occasions when he had the
better of her, and she finally managed to land a knockout blow.

She ran inside the school doors, just before the bell.

That afternoon I registered at Furinkan, then went shopping with Mrs
Saotome for clothes, books and school supplies.

Saturday afternoon, the Saotomes and I arrived at the Tendo residence.
I wore Genma's old Kimono.  He and and his wife were dressed somewhat
less formally.

A slightly younger man than Genma met us at the door.  He wore a black gi.
For a moment I feared that we had come to the wrong house, despite the sign
advertising the Tendo school, but it turned out that Soun seldom wore
anything else.

"Genma!  My old friend, it has been too long.  And Mrs Saotome, it is
good to see you again today.  And you must be Ranma.  This way please,
my boy, there's somebody I'm sure you're dying to meet."

Three girls waited in the living room, in Kimonos.  Kasumi seemed relaxed
and at ease.  Akane looked miserably uncomfortable.  Nabiki studied me with
a calculating gaze.

"Daughters", Soun gestured for them to sit on one side of the dining
room table, "This is my old friend Genma Saotome, his wife Nodoka and
his son Ranma.  And these are my three daughters, Kasumi, Nabiki and
Akane."

I presented the cakes I had brought and handed each of the girls a rose.

"As you can see Ranma, I have three lovely daughters, but you must pick
only one."

"It must be Nabiki."  Nodoka stated.

"No, Akane is the better choice!"  Genma interrupted.  "Soun, the school
requires that the two martial artists combine their skills!"

"That is true Genma."

"No, I..."  Akane looked even more uncomfortable.

"Yes."  Nabiki spoke only loud enough to draw all eyes to her, as she
looked modestly down at the table.  "Yes, I'm the only available choice.
Akane is shy about it, but she already has a suitor."

"WHAT?"  The rest of her family asked in unison.

"Yes, the handsomest boy at Furinkan High, Tatewaki Kuno."

"Nabiki, how could you!"  Akane screamed, tears in her eyes, she rose and
faced her sister with clenched fists.  Then ran upstairs and slammed a door
after her.

"Oh my"  Kasumi looked up towards Akane's room then put on a brave little
smile as she turned back towards her guests.

"I knew she didn't want to say anything about it yet," Nabiki continued,
"but it was best to bring it up now, before any mistakes where made."

What was she playing at, that hadn't seemed a loving couple to me
yesterday.  Best to get back to the tattered remains of the plan.  "But
Nabiki, I hardly know you, how can we formalize our engagement now?"

"True, we can afford to wait a while."

"Soun, would it be too much of a burden, if my son was to stay here for
a while, while he got to know your daughters?"  Genma asked.

"No Genma old friend, it would be no problem at all."  Soun extended his
hand to shake Genma's.

I allowed myself to relax a tiny fraction.  Staying over at the Tendo's,
tiny mistakes were less likely to prove fatal for the Saotomes.

Sunday morning, I practiced in the Tendo Dojo.  Soun and Genma played
Shogi on the porch, while Kasumi and Nodoka prepared lunch.  Nabiki was
in her room, reading manga.  She didn't seem to show much interest in
her fiancee, but at least the Saotomes seemed to be happy.

Akane entered the Dojo, in her gi, "So Ranma, you know Kempo?"

"A little", I replied.

"Would you like to have a practice match, for fun?"

"I would be delighted Akane."

We bowed, then went at it.

"I take it you're not pleased about this Kuno guy your sister
mentioned,"  I threw a quick punch and studied Akane's dodge.

"Yeah, well, he's a bit of a jerk."

I parried Akane's kick, to get some idea of the force behind it.

"Why did she say that, then?"

She threw three punches at me, which I sidestepped.

"Nabiki's just that way.  Don't worry, I'll get her back.  Urk!"

I had reached past Akane's defenses to grab her by the arm and throw her
at a pile of mats.  She seemed to fall badly, "Are you OK, Akane?"

"Don't worry about me.  Worry about yourself!"  She charged in and began
a flurry of combination moves.

I considered a footsweep, but given how clumsily she fell I decided
against it and settled on a series of punches, each narrowly missing her
face.

Suddenly Akane stopped, stepped back and glared, "Why are you holding back?"

"I wouldn't want to hurt you in a practice match."

"Don't patronize me!"  She stormed out of the Dojo.

At lunch, Nabiki sat next to me, Genma and his wife to my other side,
then the other two sisters, Soun completing the circle.

"Nabiki", Nodoka addressed her, "living here with Kasumi has spoiled
you.  You'll need to learn to cook, in order to become a proper wife."

"Why yes, auntie Saotome, and Akane too."  Nabiki smiled at her younger
sister, "Not that she'll be cooking much herself, but she'll need to
oversee the servants at the Kuno mansion."

Akane fumed, then thought of something, "Oh, auntie Saotome, could you
please teach me how to oversee Nabiki?"

"I could teach both girls how to make okonomiyaki",  I offered.

"What do you know about okonomiyaki, Ranma?"  Nodoka asked.

"It's just something I picked up in the field."  I hastily replied.

	Henry J. Cobb	hcobb@slip.net          http://www.io.com/~hcobb