Shachihoko: O-kay ... let's see if I can *finish* an MST of something for a
change. Assisting for this one ... <pauses>
<silence>
S: ... hm. It *has* been a while since I posted an MST. Let's see here ...
<Spekkio and Yohko appear>
Sh: Oh, hello ...
Spekkio: The Master of War has *RETURNED!* Rejoice and tremble!
Sh: <sweatdrops> Good to see you again, too ... Thanks for coming, Yohko.
Yohko: Anything to take time off from mamono hunting! Besides, Pocket
Monsters is one of my favorite games -
Sp: Even though you're sort of too old for it?
Y: Urusai wa ... anyway, the Pokemon games are ageless - I just don't know as
many people to trade with as some younger kids might.

The Eternal Lost Lurker wrote:

Because I only have two prereaders, as such, for this, I'm going to send it
to the FFML and the prereaders simultaneously.

Fair warning: this chapter is a bit intense, and doesn't afford much in the
way of humor. However, there is one particularly bad joke in the middle of
this beast. The next chapter, however, is going to be almost pure comedy.

Sh: Such is the way of the Pokemon anime, is it not? Some particularly
serious episodes, and some that are mostly for laughs ...

Hope you enjoy. C&C would be greatly appreciated.

Sh/Sp/Y: That's why we're here!

"You have done well, boy," the Boss rumbled, admiring the rather unhappy
egg Pokemon sitting on his desk. "I am impressed."

Sp: You think it's unhappy *now*, wait until it hatches!
Y: ... It *did* hatch.
Sp: Evolves, then.
Sh: You have to wonder, what does a Togepy evolve into?
Sp: A Chansey, maybe?
Y: ... probably not, but until Pocket Monsters Gold and Silver are out we
can't really tell.
Sp: I thought they were already out in Japan.
Y: Not quite. Next month they will be, I believe.
Sh: And anyway, I won't consider my information reliable until I'm looking at
a strategy guide - preferably for the American translation of the game.

"So we're in?" Ash asked.

Sp: No, you're standing at the door knocking.

The Boss chuckled. "Yes, you're in. But in order to achieve rank, you must
pass one more small test."

"What kind of test?" Ash asked.

Y: "I *hate* written exams!"
Sp: And Ash flunked the last Pokemon test he took -
Sh: Nope, Jessie and James *flunked* it. Ash did poorly on the written exam,
but really stood out in the practical portion.

The Boss held up a wanted poster. "I believe you know these two."

Ash grimaced. "You bet I do."

"Eliminate them, and you'll be in good standing."

"Eliminate--?"

Sp: "No, not eliminate ... terminate. They've been fired, and it's a Rocket
tradition for the replacements to hand-deliver their predecessors' pink
slips."
Y: I know James dresses up as a girl on occasion, but I *can't* see him in a
pink slip.
Sh: <sweatdrops> Ano ne ...
Sp: You can't? I can ... especially if he wears that rubber "body"-suit he
had in the swimsuit episode which we never saw in America. <*WHAP!!*> Itee!
x.x	
Y: <shudders> Hentai fuzzball ...
Sh: Remind me to give you Kiiro's e-mail address.

"Do you want access to the research division, or don't you?" the Boss
asked.

Ash swallowed. "Al--alright. We'll do it."

Sh: "But only until I get what I came for ... then me an' Pikachu are outta
here."

******

Episode 3: Team Rocket Showdown!

******

Sp: <serves popcorn>

"Is she...okay?" Nurse Joy asked of Brock, as Misty sat in the waiting
lobby of the Celadon City Pokemon Center, knees drawn up to her chest and
head down.

Y: Of course she's not okay, her boyfriend kidnapped one of her Pokemon, and
held it hostage in exchange for her favorite non-Water Pokemon.
Sh: Misty only *had* one non-Water Pokemon ...

Brock was so concerned about his friend that he failed to react in his
usual manner to the pretty nurse. "A friend of ours took off on us a while
back," Brock said, electing to leave out certain details. "She took it
pretty hard."

Sp: Elected? What was the vote?
Sh: One to nothing. Now hush.
Sp: Where's the fun in that? This *is* an MST ...

"Was this friend a boy?" Joy asked. At Brock's nod, she appeared
thoughtful. "Hmmm..." She nodded. "It's never easy when someone you have a
crush on goes away."

Y: Oh yes, it was a crush all right ... I think Misty started out crushing
Ash once every three episodes or so? Then she quieted down somewhat.
Sp: All's fair in love and war ... those two could've gotten away with
*anything* with their relationship.

Brock blinked. Having it stated so bluntly brought the reality of the
situation home.

"Well, if it's any consolation," Joy said a bit more loudly, so as to
attract Misty's attention, "Your Onix is recovered, and your Psyduck's rope
burns are healing nicely." She frowned. "How did a Psyduck get rope burns?"

Sp: Ooh, well, it ran into a female Psyduck with a taste for --
<*POW!!!*>
Y: Next time I henshin, you ecchi furball!!
Sh: ... Trust me, Yohko, you don't want to do that. Not with *him.*

"Team Rocket," Brock replied.

"I...see," Joy said. She frowned; at the mention of Team Rocket, the girl
had broken down in tears, and the craggy-faced older boy's scowl had
deepened.

Sh: You *do* get the impression that Ash's switching sides is not going over
well.
Sp/Y: What was your first clue?

******

"Where *did* that worthless feline run off to?" Jessie demanded.

Y: Worthless? Nyaasu (Meowth) is the most profitable Pokemon to have, with
its Pay Day attack!
Sp: ... which Meowth never uses. At least not the one with Team Rocket.
Sh: It's probably keeping the change.
Y: <nods> Lousy tipper.

"Your guess is as good as mine," James replied, shrugging. The two were
sitting in the Rocket Cafeteria in downtown Celadon, eating a modest lunch.
"And to be honest, I'm not sure I care."

"Hmmm..." Jessie mused. "You're right. Things are much more peaceful
without that annoying Meowth around."

Sp: Except now you can't get away with using the Meowth balloon.
Sh: Come to think of it, where *would* Meowth have gone after telling Pikachu
that secret?

The two sat in silence for a while, eating and eavesdropping on the
conversations going on around them. Various Rockets were discussing
assignments to raid Pokemon gyms, ambush Pokemon trainers on the road, and
so forth. One discussion in particular caught Jessie's interest.

"I just...I don't know. I mean...killing? Isn't that going a little too
far?"

Y: For Team Rocket? Well .... generally, yes.
Sh: <nods> Team Rocket took the entire staff of the Silph Company hostage in
the game, but nobody got killed, just scared.
Sp: And in the series, even though they have guns at some points, I don't
believe they ever shoot anyone.
Sh: Errr ... they used their bazookas against that giant Dragonite-looking
thing that visited Bill's lighthouse.
Y: And it was like bouncing softballs off a demon's head.
Sp: <looks interested>
Sh: <baps Spekkio> Don't go there.

She couldn't hear the reply, but the first voice, which seemed awfully
familiar, continued, "I mean, it's not like they deserve it..."

Another inaudible reply.

Sh: There's nothing more interesting than listening to half a conversation.

"Maybe we can fake it? Make it look like we killed them, but without really
doing it?"

A pause.

"Yeah, that's how we'll have to do it. I feel bad enough as it is. I'll be
glad when this is all over."

Jessie blinked. That was definitely strange. "Hey James, did you hear
that?"

"Hear what?" her partner asked around a mouthful of shrimp.

Y: <Jessie impression> "I've decided to elope with Brock, the former Pewter
City Gym leader. Unfortunately, this means I'll have to resign from Team
Rocket ... good bye, my friend."
Sh/Sp: <snicker>

"Someone's letting their conscience get in the way of an assignment,"
Jessie said, a note of amusement in her voice.

"Oh, really," James replied, drolly. "How unfortunate for them, should the
Boss find out." Both snickered.

Sh: That's the problem with trying to be a successful criminal.
Sp: On the other hand, it validates the premise of "honor among thieves,"
which is really what Team Rocket consists of.
Y: I dunno ... their attempted Pokemon thefts are part of a world-domination
scheme.

Jessie took a sip of her drink, and nearly spit it out as she saw a rather
short Rocket leaving the cafeteria. "Funny," she said, "that looked
like..."

Sp: ... her sempai!
Sh/Y: <facefault>
Y: That's Musashi, not Makoto.
Sh: <side note> Musashi is Jessie's original Japanese name. James was
Kojirou.
Sp: And Yohko is using the Japanese names out of habit, right?
Y: ... er, hai. ^^;

******

"Come on, Pikachu," Ash said. "We've got something we need to do before we
go look for Jessie and James."

"Pika?"

"We're gonna steal Togepi back from the Boss," Ash whispered. "I can't
stand leaving it in the hands of Team Rocket."

"Pi pika," Pikachu agreed.

Sh: Gotta admire that kid. He's turning into a *real* villain - can't go all
the way without turning against your superiors.

******

It was late afternoon, and Brock was roaming the streets of Celadon,
looking for a shop where he could find something that might cheer Misty up.
He couldn't take seeing her so miserable and depressed.

Sp: Ah, Brock's greatest weakness ... he can never stand to see an unhappy
girl. That must be why he became a Gym Leader instead of trying to become a
Pokemon Master, he couldn't stand the thought of defeating all those
beautiful girls ...

He wondered what reasons Ash might have had for turning against them. It
just didn't make any sense. Ash hated Team Rocket, and he'd never force his
Pokemon to do something that was wrong.

And what about Pikachu? Pikachu seemed just as willing as Ash was. Maybe
even more. Bulbasaur had been hesitant to fight against Onix; Brock had
seen that. But Pikachu...

Sh: They have their reasons. Bulbasaur just doesn't know what the other two
are planning yet.
Sp: Speaking of Bulbasaur ... and since Lurker wrote that spamfic with the
"unnatural evolution" and the really awful pun ... have you ever noticed that
'b' and 'v' are right next to each other on the keyboard?
Y: I hold no enmity towards those coerced into evil, but to those vile beings
who toy with the hearts and souls of men ...
Sh: <large sweatdrop and dives for cover> Sayonara, Spekkio ... hope you
enjoy the view before she kills you.
Y: ... we, since the time of the Ancient Gods, have been your destroyers!
<her clothes disintegrate in an explosion of light, and her battle dress
forms> Now, the 108th generation Mamono Hunter, Yohko, is here! Beware!
Sp: Aaaaaaah ... <stares at Yohko>
Y: <kicks Spekkio into low Earth orbit>
Sp: Kaawaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!! ... <disappears into the distance>
Sh: <holds up a card> [10.0] Good kick, Yohko.

Brock shook his head, and sighed wearily. It just didn't make any sense...

Sh: Neither does Spekkio's sense of humor.
Y: Ever. Why make you walk around the room three times chanting "Magic"?

******

The door to the office opened silently. Ash and Pikachu tiptoed into the
darkened room. "No sign of him," Ash whispered.

Y: That doesn't mean much ...

The pair snuck over to the desk. The familiar shape of the egg Pokemon
rocked back and forth there, snoring softly. "Pika," Pikachu said quietly.

Ash quietly removed a Pokeball from his belt, and expanded it. Sneaking up
to the desk, he pressed the button on the ball, and gently tapped it
against Togepi's head. The infant Pokemon's eyes opened. "Prrrrriiii?" it
said drowzily, just as the crimson light sucked it into the Pokeball.

Sh: Well, sleeping Pokemon *are* easier to capture -
Y: - but didn't Satoshi (Ash) already do the capture process when he got
Togepi from Kasumi (Misty)?
Sh: ... I don't remember. ^^;

"Okay, let's go," Ash whispered. The pair turned to leave...and were frozen
in their tracks by a low, rumbling laugh.

Sh: <Han Solo imp.> "I know that laugh."

The chair behind the desk turned, to reveal the Boss, cloaked in shadow as
always, stroking his Persian, which glowered at Ash and Pikachu menacingly.
"You have guts, boy," the Boss said. "I like that."

Y: They made the *big* mistake - they didn't look in the chair which was
conveniently facing away.

Ash and Pikachu trembled. The Boss laughed. "Relax, relax," he said. "It's
not every day that new recruits show the kind of initiative you two have."
He set Persian down on the desk, and it hissed at Pikachu. "As a reward for
your courage, I will spare you, and allow you to keep the miserable egg.
It's completely worthless to me anyway." He paused, then his voice took on
a note of warning. "But I expect you to carry out your assignment without
fail. Do not disappoint me, boy." With that, the Boss turned away again.
Ash and Pikachu made their escape quickly.

Y: On the other hand, after Togepi grows enough to be able to fight
effectively, Rocket-danin will be after it again.

******

Brock emerged from the Celadon Department Store, holding a fluffy toy
Jigglypuff. Shopping had, to his surprise, lifted his spirits somewhat, and
he enjoyed the warm, sunny afternoon as he made his way down the road to
the Pokemon Center.

Sh: Gotta love those Poke Dolls. ^_^

His mood quickly soured when Jessie and James popped up right in front of
him, unexpectedly.

Y: What do you mean, unexpectedly? They were forty seconds late for their
cue.

"Prepare for trouble," Jessie said.

"Make it double," James added.

"Give it a rest," Brock groaned. "I don't have any Pokemon on me."

Sh: What, he doesn't always carry his Pokeballs with him?
Sp: ... aaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! <*Whump!!*> Whoa ... @.@
Y: Ara, you've returned ... how was your trip?
Sp: Very scenic ... @.@

"OHOHOHOHOHOHO!" laughed Jessie. "We don't care about your pathetic
Pokemon, brat. All we want is to know where your little friend with the
Pikachu is."

Sp: <recovers> Add another Hideous Anime Laugh to the women's list. How many
are there now?
Y: Too many. At least nobody laughs like that in my series.

Brock glared. "Why are you asking me? Don't all you Rockets hang out
together?"

Jessie and James blinked. "What are you talking about?" Jessie asked.

Sh: They didn't get the updated syndicate roster yet.
Sp: Yeah, the website was being re-woven.

"And more importantly..." James added, wrinkling his nose, "what...is that
horrendous stench?"

The others frowned, then sniffed the air...and almost gagged.

An evil chuckle ripped through the air. The trio glanced around, and
spotted a silhouetted figure, stirring a cast-iron cauldron. A spotlight
from nowhere illuminated the cauldron. A Gloom drooled into the boiling
water, not seeming to be in any kind of discomfort; its stench wafted into
the breeze. Ash stood behind the cauldron, stirring it with a long, wooden
spoon. He looked up, and grinned wickedly. "Do you smell what Team Rocket's
cookin'?" he asked.

Sh/Sp/Y: <mass facefault>
Sp: Coming soon, the Pokemon/WWF Omake Special!

"Pika!" Pikachu chimed, popping up in front of the cauldron, paw extended
in the V-sign.

Brock, Jessie, and James facefaulted.

Jessie recovered, and stared. "It WAS you!" she exclaimed, pointing at Ash.
"What were you doing in the Rocket cafeteria?"

Ash smirked. "Didn't you know? Pikachu 'n me are in Team Rocket now. In
fact, we're here on business now."

Sh: "You're terminated, effective immediately."
Y: Isn't it unethical to mix business and pleasure?
Sp: Not when you're a villain, Yohko-chan.

Brock glared at Ash. "What kind of 'business' is it this time? Haven't you
done enough damage, Ash?"

Ash winced slightly, but recovered, and chuckled. "Actually, Brock, this
doesn't concern you. Our business is with these two losers."

Jessie and James got in Ash's face. "Who are you calling losers, you little
twit?"

Sp: "Who are you calling a twit, losers?"
Sh: Besides, he speaks from (frequent) experience; Ash and his friends
*always* trounce Team Rocket. Heck, he turned a whole shipload of Pokemon
trainers against a bunch of Rocket goons once.

"What sort of business do you have with us?" James asked.

Ash smiled evilly. "The Boss sent us to eliminate you two," he said.

The two Rockets stared at length...then laughed. "Oh, that's rich!" Jessie
snorted.

"Eliminate us?" James asked in a disbelieving tone. "And just how do you
intend to do that?"

Ash smirked. "Pikachu, thunder."

Sp: This is the point at which innocent bystanders go "Uh-oh" and start to
evacuate the vicinity.

"Piiii..." Pikachu said, eyes flashing evilly as its cheeks began to spark.
The sky began to darken.

Brock stared in horror. Ash wouldn't really...would he?

"Kaaaaaaaa......" Arc of electricity danced around the yellow rodent,
leaping from the ground towards the gathering clouds.

Jessie and James shared an expression of disbelief and shock, before
preparing to take off running.

"CHUUUUUUUUUU!!!!" A bolt of lightning stabbed down from the heavens,
striking the Pokemon, who redirected it into the two Rockets. They
screamed, writhing and twitching as the electric attack scrambled their
nervous systems. The light show finally died down, and Jessie and James
fell to the ground, smoldering.

Sh: OUCH!
Y: Itaisou ...
Sp: Ooooh, that's *gotta* sting.
Sh: Like an enraged Beedrill.
Y: But much worse. Less poisonous, but more painful.
Sp: I'll bet they've got the Paralyzed status now.
Y: No, they fainted. Or worse.
Sh: I thought Pokemon didn't kill ...

"Good work, Pikachu," Ash said. "Now, let's collect evidence for the Boss."

"Pikachu," Pikachu replied.

Brock stared numbly as Ash removed the outer articles of Jessie's uniform,
and took the everpresent rose from James' jacket. He walked over, and knelt
beside the fallen Rockets. He checked their pulses. "They're..."

Sp: "... not quite dead." - We hope.
Sh: Well, Ash was trying not to become a murderer. Becoming a thief was
officially bad enough.
Y: And Takeshi - sorry, Brock - didn't react when Ash started undressing
Jessie ... ? That's not like him.
Sh: Brock may be desperate enough to chase after a ghost, but you can't do
much with a corpse.
Sp: Tell that to the necrophiles. <*POW!!*> Iteeeee!!
Y: You really *are* a hentai fuzzball, aren't you?!

Suddenly, Ash was in his face, thrusting a Pokeball at him. "Take it," Ash
said.

Brock blinked. "Ash, what?"

Sh: That should be the other way around, or with an ellipsis. Probably the
latter. "Ash ... what?"

"Take it," Ash insisted. "Give it to Misty. Tell her...I'm sorry," he said.
Forcing the ball into Brock's hands, he stood, and ran off. "Pikachu, let's
go."

As Ash and Pikachu disappeared into the shadows, Brock stared at the
Pokeball, and at the bodies of the two Rockets. *How could Ash do this...?*
he wondered.

Still numb from the shock of what had happened, Brock stood, and trudged
back towards the Pokemon Center.

Sp: Except he wasn't the one shocked; they were.

******

She stirred groggily, and found herself staring at a harsh white ceiling.
"Wh...where...?"

"Easy now," a gentle voice said. "You're at Celadon General Hospital."

"Hospital...? What...?"

"You and your friend were apparently struck by lightning. You're lucky to
be alive. Now lie still...you need to rest and recover your strength."

Jessie, still disoriented, obeyed the young doctor. She couldn't remember
exactly what had happened, but she supposed it was fortunate that she was
alive. She had a horrendous headache, though...maybe a bit of rest would be
a good idea. She closed her eyes, and dozed off.

******

Y: YAY!! Good for Satoshi!
Sp: ... you mean Ash.
Y: Hai, hai! ^^;

To be continued...

Sh: And looking forward to it!

The Eternal Lost Lurker
(The Pokemon under the skirt of the girl...)

Y: <laughs>
Sp: <snickers>
Sh: <explains> An homage to the Japanese _Pocket Monsters_ TV opening song,
also used in the movie Mewtwo Strikes Back. At least, this was the first OP
... they changed opening sequences recently, and had a new song as well.

lurkerdrome@megami.net

"Pokemon, getto daze!"