The story is in Progress, but I have figured it would be
best to post it in SNIPPETS as it is created, rather than one huge
chunk afterwards....  I've also taken to writing with a SPACE
between paragraphs, makes it a helluva lot easier than before on my
formatting and such.... Enjoy, and I will patiently await any
responses which the fans feel is deserving of this fic....



 Once more, we step into the world of Fragile Clay... A few special
thanks before we begin yet another episode.
 Love and Hugs go out to the people on the Antijen Mailing list for
always being there to support me and lend a listening ear when I am
in need of someone caring and compassionate.
 A thanks to two of my very special friends, Jariten and Jimmu, who
have stood by me when I needed them the most, and who have always
helped me believe in my own self worth.
 I would also like to thank the spirit of love, for inspiring me to
write this beautiful story for all of you... I pray that in some way
all of you can identify and feel what the characters feel.
 To all my faithful and dedicated fans, I would like to say thank
you for your patience and effort... you are all precious to me, each
and every one.
 I would also like to thank Hiroshi... who�s spirit and indomitable
will of humanity somehow exists in us all... may we all find the
beauty of self that Hiroshi has come to know.
 And to each and every one of you who have dared to imagine... keep
the dream alive.
 And now, for Episode 5, part 1 of volume 3(Shades of Grey)

      Shades of Grey

      A poem by Shimitsu Kaoru

  Mine Vision bestowed with black and white,
   Mine Heart indulged in thus cruel world�s stage.
  Eyes unseeing judge twixt wrong and right,
   Soul thus imbued polarities rage.

  Thine eyes do see thus how twisted formed
   That �Truth� Wherein no exception hides,
  Share not the furies mankind has worn....
   See truth with thine blessed inward eyes.

  This, thy stage, unjustly given life
   Thy soul weighed with rules and thus condemned..
  Taught proudly yin and yang�s bitter strife...
   Never name thy passion thus a friend.

  A world whence monotony didst thrive
   Did bare you proudly up with open arms.
  Shun the views of healthy, proper lives...
   And then embrace the truth�s blessed charms.

  This sphere doth not run on left or right
   Nor are there lines which cut thine soul in two.
  Good and Evil vary in degrees,
   Single sin does not to hell accrue.

  Tis� not black ink writ on ghostly page
   Tis�grande plethora of unique days.
  Recall thy world�s damned imbued rage,
   For your life is marked in Shades of Grey.



    Fragile Clay: Volume the Third
     (Shades of Grey)
      �Refractions of the Past�



 Rain.  A flash.  A rolling sound that shakes the roofs of those
below.  The sky quilted with dark grey clouds, lightning flashing
every few moments.

 Beneath the rain... a small town, the rain cascading gently,
falling in sheets upon the multitudinous roofs of the people
inhabiting tiny houses below the clouds.

 There is laughing within some of the houses.  There is singing, and
some are already fast asleep, escaping to a world of their own
making... a world in many ways better than our own.

 The icy rain outside frigid and unyielding in it�s relentless
attack, thousands upon thousands of tiny silver javelins striking
the earth, the tree�s.

 Nerima.  A place of excitement, adventure, the very word brings to
mind wandering warriors, prideful samurai, and skilled Amazons.  Yet
all is quiet... as it has mostly been for many months now.  Behind
closed doors people have begun to wonder.

 Where has all the magic gone? The adventure? It was once common to
see a mob chasing a shrivelled pervert with a dull brown satchel
slung over his shoulders, the sun beating down upon the city
mercillesly as martial artists demolished buildings with inhuman
ease.

 A week of rain.  A week, and no sign of cease.  Truly, in fact, it
has escalated.  An inch of the wet substance coated the roads, yards
were drowned out and muddy red.

 Rain.  A flash.  The accompanied sound of thunder shakes the roofs
once more.  Tea, steaming hot.

 Thunder shakes the walls of the Tendou dojo, the sound of water
cascading off the roof and smattering against the muddy ground,
water logged tree�s bend and shake in the wind, droplets clinging to
their leaves.

 The worlds colors dulled, darkened in the wake of the storm.
Almost black clouds boiling overhead, shifting and mixing.

 Rain.  A flash.  Two delicate hands lift the teacup, the misty
steam rising from the calm brown swirling liquid as the edge of the
round pocelain cup is raised, gently caressing to full red lips.

 The streets soaked, a car on the curbside, left abandoned in the
downpour.  Lightning flashes again, the thick layer of water on the
street reflecting the light, making the road seem to glow for a
brief instant.

 She sniffs the tea, taking in it�s heady aroma... a part of her
sighing within as she carefully sips it.  It�s warmth does not touch
her soul.  The others sit quietly, some watching her carefully.

 Ranma stared into her tea.

 Rain...

 *  *  *  *  *  *

 The clack of polished wood on polished wood, the smattering of rain
upon the back porch.  Soun Tendou stared at the board intently, his
hand on his chin, the opposite on his hip... back slightly hunched.

 Black.  And White.  A large bear stares at the board as well, it�s
all too human eyes looking inward as well as upon the flat board.
It shivers and shakes, it�s bristly fur damp from the rain.

 A tapping noise, a combination of dull grey buttons with numbers
printed on them.  Then the scratching of a pencil on the paper of a
financial ledger.  Nabiki replaces the pencil to it�s place behind
her ear, her other hand brushing hair behind the opposite lobe.
Looking up, her piercing analytical eyes took on a troubled sadness
at the redhead staring intently into her tea.

 The soft rustling of cotton fabric, and the gentle swaying of a
dark yellow dress.  A tray in hands, Kasumi gently sets it upon the
table, the kettle now full and warm.  An old kettle, with more than
it�s share of dings and scrapes... not all from average daily use.

 Kasumi flips her ponytail over her shoulder, looking at Ranma,
�Ranma-kun, would you like anything else?� She asks, sunshine and
rainbows in her voice.  Yet there is no smile on Kasumi�s face,
something that once seemed an unshakeable piece of Kasumi Tendou�s
soul now is quite vacant from her cheery demeanor, her melodious and
motherly tones.  Ever since that Day.

 The sound of glass on the smooth table�s surface, a soft tap as the
cup of half full tea is calmly set down.  Sapphire eyes look back at
Kasumi, and a soft smile ushers across even softer lips, �No, Thank
you Kasumi-oneechan,� the words are soft, lilted, feminine beyond a
doubt.  Pale skin shines with the color of peaches and cream,
slightly whiter than normal from the cold rain outside.  Ranma has
just returned from a long walk in the rain.

 Now there is a frown, Kasumi�s brow furrows and her face takes on a
tense look, �Ranma-kun, are you sure?� She wishes she could be more
helpful, *Kami Knows,* She tells herself, *I was not helpful when
Ranma needed me.*  Yes, when Ranma had needed her to be firm, she
was weak in the face of the storm.  Shame.

 A small hand... so small and delicate, it reaches out, wrapping
around the handle of the kettle.  It gently lifts, and with a slight
tip the hot contents cascade shimmering through the air, sparkling
tea seeming to dance and then sing as it collides with red hair, red
hair melting into a thick midnight black as the water covers it.

 Ranma sets the kettle down, standing up, �I�m sure,� He says, the
words identical to the tone he used just moments before, �Scuse me,�
He says, bowing formally to Kasumi.  Then he turns, the house
slippers on his feet making a soft whispering noise as he walks
upstairs.

 Nabiki�s eyes sting as she watches him go.  *Ranma, the poor caged
animal,* Her head slowly shakes, the hair framing her face swaying
as she does so.  Her mind wanders back, wondering how she could have
stopped Hiroshi, she finds nothing.  Or, at least, nothing she was
willing to commit herself to.

 �I wish there was something we could do,� Kasumi now speaking in a
sad manner, none of the ribbons and lollipops of her previously
cheery demeanor.  Her skirt ruffles as she takes a seat at the
table, clasping her hands in front of her as she stares at her lap,
�This must be my fault, for not getting through to him sooner about
how he was acting,� there is shame in the way she speaks.  A deep
self grievance that Kasumi could not afford to forgive.

 Soun looks at her in bafflement, his jaw moving like a codfish for
a moment, �Kasumi!! How could you say such a thing, my dear?? It was
that dreadful Hiroshi�s fault, it was,� There�s no doubt he believes
it, where it once always had to be Ranma�s fault, now it must be
Hiroshi�s.  A simple transfer of blame, where before the blame had
not always been just... but then, Soun is always quick to blame, as
is everyone else.

 Nabiki�s hands almost crush the calculator as if it were made of
paper, her eyes dart up at her father, who stares back in silent
confusion.  �Daddy, if it is Hiroshi�s fault, how about you explain
to us HOW it is??� A request.  A simple request, one that she is
sure he won�t be able to answer to.

 Soun crosses his arms, thinking for a long moment, �The way I see
it, if the boy had only kept his fool mouth shut, none of this would
ever have happened.  Ranma isn�t at fault for someone playing with
his mind, it was dishonourable of Hiroshi to play with his best
friend�s heart as well!� Soun nods to himself, as if to compliment
himself on his good thinking.

 Without a sound, the panda sitting opposite Soun stands... looking
with as much fury as the bear can muster at his once friend, garbled
growls and muffled sounds emit from the bear�s mouth, anger evident
in it�s gestures.

 Soun stands quickly, ignoring the board as it topples over onto the
ground sending pieces to litter the floor, the clattering of pieces
mixing with the sound of rain on the roof.  �Saotome!!! How could
you say such things?? What of our promise? The engagement?� The sky
flashes, and then the thunder shakes the walls once more.

 Genma once more begins with frantic, angry actions.  His anger
escalating as he waves frantically, the noises incomprehensible yet
somehow understandable.

 Soun turns his back on his friend, shaking a hand, �Nonsense, Ranma
is fine.  He only needs some time to get his wits about him, then we
can go forward with the marriage just as we�d always planned,� Soun
tries hard to ignore his middle daughter�s piercing gaze, yet he is
not entirely successful.

 Genma growls once more, then with a swift turn, tromps upstairs
after his pride and joy.  There is a tension in the household, ever
since two weeks ago.  Two weeks ago, when Miramoto Hiroshi vanished
around the corner.

 Vanished out of Ranma�s life.  The weather seeming to match Ranma�s
mood, seemingly confused for a full week, deciding if it should
snow, remain sunny, or perhaps rain... then settling on rain
finally.  Rain and Rain and more Rain.

 The soft sliding of a door, followed by the shaking of two bamboo
umbrella�s.  �We�re home, everyone!� Came the firm, steady voice of
Nodoka Saotome.  If you listen carefully, you may hear the anger
underneath her casual mood, Nodoka yet another person struggling for
someone to blame for the dark spiral her child continues to descend
into.

 The soft rustling of a school dress ushers Akane into the scene,
she looks from Kasumi to Soun(Whom is silently assembling board and
pieces back in their rightful place) before settling her eyes on
Nabiki.

 Nabiki gives a curt shake of her head, a serious look in her eyes
as her hair once more sways slightly with the movement.  Akane nods
in response, sighing, her eyes slowly closing as her own head turns
back and forth.  Sadness in the gesture as her shoulders slump, her
arms hanging limp... useless at her sides.

 �Soun? Where has my Husband gotten to? I thought you both would
have been having your usual evening game of Shogi,� It is a casual
question, yet there is a hint of suspicion in her words...
suspicion, and perhaps accusation.  Genma the coward.  Genma the
worm who retreats from anything threatening.

 Kasumi�s fingers gently caress the fabric of her dress, working
wrinkles out that are mostly nonexistent, �Father and Mister Saotome
had a short argument, I�m afraid, Aunt Nodoka,� Kasumi lowers her
eyes to the tea kettle, fixating her gaze on a small drop of liquid
that seemed to be trying to decide whether to fall, or remain at the
tip of the kettle�s spout.

 An impregnable stare is cast upon Soun, �Is this true, Soun? Has my
Husband been having choice words with you?� A pity, she thought,
that recent events would be the only thing to actually make Genma
grow a spine of any sorts.  Nodoka frowns, forcing herself to stop
twisting her wedding ring in that almost habitual manner.

 Soun, seeming as if reprimanded, bows his head in a nod.  His mouth
opening to speak, yet before he can utter a single word, Akane�s
voice is heard.

 �Auntie.. is that really important?� Akane asked, taking a seat
across from Nabiki, her hands firmly yet carefully folded in her
lap, her back a little stiffer than usual.  Perhaps less in anger
and more in tension.

 *Your anger was always your one flaw, Akane... always...* She muses
sadly to herself, an anger that burns so hot can sometimes burn the
wielder far beyond repair.  Her perfect dream, Ranma the shining
hero, her the fragile heroine, all shattered in a moment of her
uncontrollable rage.

 A sidelong glance, an arched brow as Nodoka considers Akane, �Are
you saying you would condone Genma�s support of Ranma�s confusion??
Ranma doesn�t need time, he needs discipline to understand the
choice he must make in the end, Akane... a choice that I PRAY will
involve you deeply,� Her words are sharp, crisp, clear in
gesticulation.

 �But what if we�re wrong, Auntie??? Maybe Ranma needs time to heal,
instead of being pushed by everyone around him,� Akane�s words are
thick with unease, her thinking had been much the same, in that
regrettable moment of anger.

 �Akane, my daughter, don�t tell me that you actually agree with
Saotome?? Surely you want to marry Ranma, do you not?� Soun asks,
suddenly very close to Akane, and very intent on her answer.

 Akane shakes her head, tears brimming in her eyes.. hot and burning
in her eyes, �No!! I... I mean... yes, yes, But I love him, Auntie,
I Love him with all of my heart!! Doesn�t that mean I have a say in
anything? Doesn�t that mean that you should, maybe, just consider
what Ranma needs instead of what we all need?�

 Nodoka�s eyes gaze firmly upon Akane, noting the girl�s confused
discomfort, noting how on edge Akane is.  Akane hasn�t known what to
think since that singular dreadful act of violence that brought
about harsh revelation.

 A short bark of a laugh, filled full to the brim with bitter bile,
�Isn�t that what we�ve ALWAYS done, Akane? Isn�t that what made
Hiroshi so special?� Nabiki frowns, suddenly very serious again,
�You think we can hope to replace that?? You�ve got to be kidding,
Sis,� Nabiki�s heart aches as she notices the crestfallen expression
on Akane�s face.  Her heart leaps again, in agonizing pain, when she
hears Akane begin sobbing into her hand... then into both hands.

 Nabiki shows no hint of remorse, her face remaining aloof and
smug... her emotions carefully hidden beneath a facade of
nonchalantness.  Inside she is seething, boiling with self doubt and
anger at her own uselessness, her own ignorance that should have
seen what was happening with Hiroshi the moment it started.

 �Nabiki, dear, that is quite enough,� Nodoka speaks gently, yet
there is nothing gentle about the calm manner in which her words are
spoken.  �Yes, Akane, your opinion does matter.  The only problem
is, honor demands this wedding go forth.  Whether or not Ranma has
more time, I sincerely doubt that my son will get over these
feelings... so more time, less time, I do not think it matters much.
The wedding will take place sooner or later... but it will take
place, Akane.�

 For a moment all is silent... the sound of rain upon the roof,
smattering outside, and the sound of the koi in the pond leaping,
only to descend once more into the depths.

 Akane�s sobbing ceases, yet her demeanor says that at any moment
she could totter once more over the edge.  �I don�t want to marry
him like this, Auntie!! It.. it would feel like a lie! Like there
wasn�t any love between us.. he.. he could start to hate me.  I don�
t want that to happen!� A flash of her mother�s face, smiling,
happy... that is what she wants, she wants that happiness for
herself.  She is half afraid she might never know it, since
Hiroshi...

 Nodoka�s eyes glimmer faintly, her lips tight as she speaks,
�Akane, to my sadness, I must say that honor about these things
overrules what is best for Ranma... promises are promises.  Think of
it this way, Japanese women have been lying to themselves in
marriages for thousands of years, and it hasn�t stopped us yet,� The
soft rustling is heard as Nodoka sits at the head of the dining
table, Soun taking a seat opposite of her.

 �What about happiness??� Akane asks, her voice full of confused
venom, her mind wondering if perhaps her trust in Nodoka�s kindness
was misplaced.

 Nodoka gently runs her hands synchronously across the edge of the
table, touching the corners with her thumbs, �Akane, I pray nightly
that this decision had been made out of love, and my Husband, Soun,
as well as myself have been very patient in the hopes that this
decision WOULD be made out of love.  The promise was made out of
convenience, to carry on the school... it deeply hurts me that such
things could have happened to seperate the two of you, but this
pairing was made long before either of you were old enough to
consent.�

 Akane�s head fell, her shoulder�s slumping.  �I see, so we really
have no choice, we�ll get married when you want whether we like it
or not, whether one of us suffers for it for the rest of our lives
or not,� Akane shakes her head, half in confusion, half in shame
that is full of guilt and pain.

 In her mind, an image of Ranma�s face... tears upon her cheeks, as
the hand flies back.  Then a bright cracking noise and a flash of
pain that leaves spots of bright colors dancing in her vision, and a
throbbing ache in her swollen cheek.  Then her heartbeat, Ranma
looking at her horrified as she touches her cheek... feeling warm
wetness far redder than tears.

 �I�ve come to the conclusion that you and your husband are both out
of your goddamn minds, �Auntie�,� Her tone is Saccharine sweet as
she speaks, pouring herself some tea in a casual gesture.  Nabiki
looks up at Nodoka, �Pretty sure,� added seemingly half in thought
as she sips.

 At her words, Nodoka�s body grows rigid with tension, �I am a
traditional Japanese Woman, Nabiki.  You would do well to note that
Giri still runs thick in Japan�s blood, and Honor is as strong
nowadays as it was 300 years ago, before the english came,� Her
words come smooth as ice, and much colder, laced with deadly venom.

 Her patience is quickly waning, Nabiki�s diehard attitude not
something she was used to from anyone.  Ever.

 �You don�t scare me, Nodoka,� Nabiki replies, in an exact replica
of the venom laced ice Nodoka had used, giving the effect of
laughter at Nodoka�s unspoken threat.  The most casual and intense
mockery Nabiki was best known for.

 Nodoka�s hands shook as she clenched them tightly, attempting to
control her rising anger at the middle Tendou girl, �Is that so,
Nabiki??? That is disrespectful of a Japanese woman, talking down to
her elders like you always seem to do,� Nodoka suddenly biting her
lip as one of her fingernails cuts deeper into her palms, a trickle
of blood coloring her fingertip.

 Nabiki�s smile shines as bright as the break of dawn upon the
shores of Nihon, a jester�s smile.. a trixter�s beguiling grin.
Speaking to the viewer as if to say �I know more than you ever will�
.  �Well, let me see,� Her words dripped with sugar, �I don�t
rightly give a damn, Mizz Scarlett.  You don�t see me bustling about
in a Kimono bowing and nodding and scraping, so here�s to the
empire,� Nabiki grinned brighter still, as she hefted the cup of
tea, then tossed it back like a shot of Whiskey.

 �I will not tolerate you speaking down to me, little girl!� Nodoka�
s whole body begins shaking with her half controlled rage, never in
her life has anyone spoken to her in that manner, in such an
arrogant, self-assured, fearless manner.

 �Nabiki! What has gotten into you young lady! Apologize right
 now!!� Soun�s shame and embarrassment from Nabiki�s words and
actions were beginning to show plainly in his disposition.

 Nabiki laughs, placing a hand on her mouth to keep from laughing
too hard, �I�m afraid not daddy, in my case �Aunty�, I will have to
say screw tradition.  Oh, And Daddy, if you want to contest my
independance, I seem to remember you owe me backpay from the last
three loans,� the blood drains from Soun�s face at the mention of
the borrowed money, and suddenly he is studiously examining the
table.

 Nodoka gapes in astonishment and anger, �Soun! Don�t tell me you
are afraid of your own DAUGHTER!?� She�s never seen such a thing, a
grown man fearing his own flesh and blood, his own little girl.
Preposterous!

 Kasumi sighs, her head lowering as she shakes her dark brown
tresses, �Auntie, Nabiki has a lot of clout with the businesses
around here, and when Daddy has needed the money... well... Nabiki
hasn�t asked for it back before, not from family,� Her voice is
thick with embarrassment, her cheeks red with a heavy blush.

 �If you THINK that I will condone your course of action, Mizz
Nodoka, you do not know Nabiki Tendou,� Suddenly Nabiki is rising,
as if looming, her shadow falling over Nodoka with no room for
interpretation of her menace.  �I am the one girl you don�t want to
mess with, �Aunty�, why do you think they call me the Ice Bitch???�
A sadistic smile, a cold and venomous edge to her words.

 Nodoka�s resolve, for a single moment, falters, and she shies back
from a girl many years younger than herself, then the steel edge of
her fiery soul once more bears itself, �I am Ranma�s Mother, Nabiki,
and you will not stop this arrangement.  It is out of your hands,
and it was never in your hands to begin with young lady,� Her eyes
hold strong the fire that is within her soul, a warrior woman�s
spirit which shall never let go of her ideals, even in the labor of
her last dying breath.

 Yet, once more she is shaken as Nabiki straightens to her full
standing height, a rye grin on her face, �Who said anything about
trying to stop you, Nodoka??� A swift spin of her heels, her back
turning to the elder Saotome woman.  A cocky look back over her
shoulders.

  �You push it, and you will get what is coming to you.  Do what you
will, but I can make sure you�ll regret any... rash decisions,� Not
a threat, simply a state of fact as Nabiki turns, gliding upstairs
with a calm grace.

 Nodoka stares after her, anger and bile seething in her mind, a
girl.  A GIRL has the audacity to threaten her!? She silently
promises that she will NOT let Nabiki push her around as she seems
to think she can easily do.

 Akane stares after her sister as well.  There is much love in that
gaze, a silent thank-you being said inside Akane�s heart.  She has
no concept of why Nabiki would wish to help Ranma, but all the same
she is thankful for it.

 Silently, she adds another almost reluctant prayer.  *Hiroshi..
come back safely.*

 *  *  *  *  *  *

 Rain pours gently down the glass window panes, some soft Japanese
pop music drifting lazilly over the air.  An occassional car moves
sluggishly by on the road outside.

 The scent of freshly diced vegetables, squid, batter... the sound
of the grill sizzling, and the smell of fresh okonomiyaki assaults
her senses.

 There are only a few customers.  An old man in dirty working
clothes wearing a straw hat.  A round lady in a floral print dress,
her cheeks rosy with a bright smile, a small boy in a yellow
raincoat with her... quietly humming a made up song as he pokes at
his food.

 Kuonji Ukyou flips the newly cooked okonomiyaki onto a plate,
sliding it onto the counter to the more recent customer.  A friend
from school, his hair black and somewhat unkempt.  A solemn mood
surrounds him, something quite unfamiliar to Nakano Daisuke�s usual
demanor.

 Ukyou�s hands shake as she sets the cooking spatula down, she rubs
then together as if they are cold.  She turns, looking back at
Daisuke as the boy sips his plain black coffee, making some personal
notes on a book full of numbers.

 �Studying for the test?� She knows it�s not the question she would
rather ask, the question that had been bothering her again and again
for the past week and a half.  Still, it was a more appropriate
question.

 Daisuke looks up, the small wire-brimmed glasses hanging on the tip
of his nose, �Nah... just a little personal stuff, you know I�m
always fiddling with ideas,� He smiles then, halfheartedly to be
sure, yet it is a smile that is mildly arrogant.  Condescending with
a reason.

 Thunder booms outside, the wind picking up lightly.  Icy Rain
bombarding the street mercilessly, as it had for the past week.

 She casts her eyes about the shop, noting that not very many people
are here, all of her customers looking much warmer than they would
be if they were outside.  Not much chance of more coming in this
kind of weather.

 She sighs, then, deciding to take a short break from the more than
slow day.  Pulling out the oft unused stool she keeps behind the
counter, Ukyou takes a seat opposite Daisuke.  �Still haven�t talked
to him, have you?� A question she had been mulling over, turning
again and again in her mind.

 �Nope, well.. not really, I mean.  I�ve spoken to him numerous
times in the past week, the problem is.. well.. the conversations
keep getting shorter.  He�s even started paying some form of
attention in class, just so the Teacher doesn�t call his name and
draw attention to him,� Daisuke stabs at a piece of his dinner,
shovelling it into his mouth as his pen continues scratching on the
paper of the notebook.

 Ukyou fidgets, scratching at a rough part of the counter and idly
thinking she should get something to scrub it off.  �You don�t.. I
mean, do you think he�s okay??? I... I heard about what happened
from Akane, and it�s all over the school, Lots of Rumors-�

 Daisuke looks up suddenly, �Most of them are false, Ukyou... I am
sure.  Ranma isn�t- Well, he isn�t as bad as some of the rumors say
he is.  None of this is his fault,� There is a vengeance in the way
he speaks, as if his own reputation were at stake.  Always the one
to take offense at the smallest of statements.

 Ukyou shakes her head, her brown hair shifting around her
delicately framed face, �I just- I can�t believe it.  Hiroshi... I
guess thinking about it now makes sense, well, as much sense as
ANYTHING involving Ranma can,� Deep green eyes dance with a heavy
sadness as Ukyou forces a half-joking smile onto her lips.

 �Yeah, well, believe it.  I should�ve seen it sooner, the way it
was going.  To my own credit... I have to say that Hiroshi has good
taste, even though it was a bad choice,� Another bit of Okonomiyaki
disappears into the depths of Daisuke�s mouth as he turns the page,
and resumes his writing.

 Ukyou feels a slight anger build within her, �How could you say
such a thing?! Ranchan is a wonderful person to fall in love
 with!!!� The man she loves, the man she has loved for a long time,
the man she defends when people make comments like Daisuke.

 Daisuke makes an odd, almost chortling laugh in his throat, pushing
his wire-framed glasses up to sit on his forehead, �Only if you�re
Akane, Ukyou... and I�ll be damned if Hiroshi doesn�t love Ranma to
death.  Whole heart and all that stuff, they seem great together..
well, until the truth came out, of course,� His eyes look down at
the equations, numbers, variables.  Cold hard logic, perhaps he is
being too disassociated with the entire situation, he wonders.

 The door swings suddenly open, and from it�s frame two figures walk
slowly in.  Both wear matching raincoats, the colors contrasting yet
complimenting.  �Hey, Ukyou!� The voice of Sayuri, a voice full of
calm and compassion in a troubled moment.

 *Yuka must be the other* Kuonji deduces, as the two girls shake out
their umbrella�s before turning and walking up to the counter.

 The false demeanor of cheeriness once more clouds Ukyou�s face and
stance, �The usual, girls?� having regular customers always made it
easier to guess what they might want.

 Yuka hops up into her usual seat, carefully looking over Ukyou�s
face before speaking, �Sure thing, Ukyou-chan, and you don�t have to
act the part for us... we�ve all been a little down since Romeo left
Ranma,� Yuka quickly runs her hands through her hair to make sure
they are dry.

 Ukyou mutters a silent curse in her mind.  Having usual customers
also meant they could usually see through your half-baked facades.

 Ukyou�s brow furrows in worry, her cheery demeanor falling away
like rotted parchment, �Is my worry really that obvious, Girls??�
She occupies herself, trying to take her mind off of Ranma by mixing
the batter, concentrating on what she does best... make Okonomiyaki.

 �Hon, it�s not that it�s obvious, it�s just we all know how you
feel... both about Hiroshi and about Ranma, so it�s just natural
that you be worried,� Sayuri smiles, attempting to reassure Ukyou.
A moment later, she turns her smile on Daisuke, turning up the
intensity of her smile to a warm greeting.

 Daisuke grins back, winking and adding a chuckle, �Nice to see you
two are enjoying our fine Nerima weather,� flipping his notebook
gently closed, he looks back at the two girls, watching as Yuka
fixes Sayuri�s hair up into a ponytail.

 A groan, then a roll of Sayuri�s eyes, �Oh yeah, right, the
beautiful Nerima weather.  I wonder what they write on the travel
broshures for a trip to Nerima? �Have fun in the sun, then the rain,
then the sun.. all in a single day�? Why can�t it just snow
already... this freezing rain is horrid,� Yuka nods her assent to
her friends comment.

 �Ohmygosh...he...he Loves him, doesn�t he?� Ukyou turns suddenly,
looking straight at Daisuke with a shocked look on her face.

 Daisuke blinks, scratching the back of his head in confusion,
�Sorry... uhm, lost the train of your thought, explain please?�
Sayuri giggles at the end of his odd comment, and he flashes her a
quick smile.

 Leaning against the counter, Ukyou looks intently at Daisuke,
�Ranchan.. he... he couldn�t possibly- I mean, he�s not that way is
he??�

 The two girls suddenly exchange glances, then return their twin
gazes to Ukyou.  There is a healthy level of worry, as well as the
guarding look that is often associated with the reluctant answers
people tend to avoid.

 Daisuke laughs, nervously, �Well, I wouldn�t know! I wasn�t around
them when they were being buddy buddy... urr, I mean really
pal-like, uhh.. you know what I mean!!� His hands fly up in an
exasperated manner, his brow furrowing in an almost insulted scowl.

 The chef suddenly grabs Daisuke by the lapel, shaking him, �What do
you MEAN you don�t know!?!? You�re Hiroshi�s best friend! You�ve GOT
to know!!!!� Her anger is none too level, her voice a bit too high
for even her own liking.  Stinging tears, how she hates the stinging
tears.

 Daisuke laughs a nervous, hesitant laugh, his hands assuming the
sign of warding off demons as Ukyou�s anger and frustration wash
over him for a brief moment.

 Yuka�s hand touched Ukyou�s.  Flesh to flesh, warm and gentle.
�Ukyou-chan...� She admonishes.

 Sayuri�s hand finds it�s way to Ukyou�s shoulder, gently squeezing
it with calm, yet insistant force, �It is not Daisuke�s fault,� Her
words are as smoke upon the wind, soft and almost unreal.

 A moment passes, as Ukyou�s hand tightens on Daisuke�s shirt.. the
straining of cotton heard for a brief moment before her hand
suddenly slackens.

 Ukyou sways a moment, almost falling as she leans on the counter.
A moment later, she finds a pair of arms around her, helping to hold
her up.  *So weak,* her mind notes silently as she trembles lightly.

 �He does Love Hiroshi, Sayuri and I know at least that much,� Yuka�
s hands grip her outfit, her eyes looking inward for a brief moment
as she recalls the vision of Ranma, speaking so proudly and
eloquently of Hiroshi.  Ranma�s Love.

 Ukyou�s eyes rise, confusion and disorientation still evident in
them, �Wh... why? How do you know??� She absently wonders why she
feels half-devoured inside, as if she was an egg that had been
cracked open and emptied violently.

 �Ranma said stuff at Akane�s sleepover that was pretty obvious to
everyone but her and Akane,� Sayuri�s hand gently strokes Ukyou�s
back, and for a moment, the chef feels as if she was with her mother
again.  With her mother as a small child.

 A gentle drumming of fingertips as Daisuke rubs his chin.  �Why is
it I am always the last to know about these things??� An almost half
annoyed expression twists itself across his face, almost as if he
swallowed a very bitter lemon.

 A giggle, and Yuka shakes her head, �You�re always too busy with
other stuff, �Suke-kun..  What, did you think everyone was purposely
hiding everything from you?�

 Suddenly, Daisuke hops off of the stool, pulling on his hair in an
overexaggerated mock-panick expression.  His eyes dart around with
intense uncertainly.  �I knew it! I knew it all along!! You�re all
conspiring against me, the Aliens sent you!!!� He looks up, grasping
clumps of his hair as he laughs maniacally.

 Yuka mocks a Yawn, while Sayuri only rolls her eyes as she takes
her seat again.  �If we were sent by the aliens to conspire against
you.. they must be pretty pathetic aliens to need YOU for
anything...�  Yuka smirks, leaning against the counter as she
watches Daisuke�s overzealous seeking of attention.

 Ukyou promises herself that she will NOT smile.  She tells herself
there is far too much to worry about, and that she doesn�t deserve
to smile until it�s all untangled from the mess it seems to have
degraded into.

 �Hey! Whatchit now.  You know I�m a certified Genius, I have
cards... and pieces of paper that say so!!!  Don�t make me have to..
urrr.. do... genius.. type...stuff.  I�ll.. I�ll... I�ll program my
calculator on you!!!!� He jabs a threatening finger in a pointing
motion at Yuka.

 Ukyou�s mouth twitches, she bites her lip firmly.  *I will NOT
laugh.. no matter how funny it seems.*  Her thoughts drift far from
the topic of her angst for but a brief moment, before she snatches
them back.  Tightly, she wraps them, around her soul.  There is no
time for laughter, her Ranchan�s heart has been broken and he needs
her more than ever.

 With little ceremony or smile, she slides the newly finished
okonomiyaki in front of Yuka, then Sayuri.  Her grim facade is not
an unnoticed presence to her guests.

 �Ukyou-chan, sometimes you can spoil a person�s mood,� Yuka�s tone
is one thick with worry, and more than a little annoyance.  Her
hands drifted, as if of their own free will, poking and prodding the
okonomiyaki without any intention of removing a piece.

 A ruffling of coarse cotton, Daisuke folding his arms as he shakes
his head solemnly, that midnight mane of black hair swaying in it�s
unkempt manner, �Ucchan, If you are so worried about him, why not go
over there and talk to the king of all baka�s?�

 Whispering as light as rosepetals, Sayuri softly murmuring pleasant
feelings into Yuka�s ear while stroking her back in a loving manner.
Yuka herself nodding to the soft encouragement her best friend
provides.

 She blames herself, at most for not informing Akane of the blatant
truth that the young Tendou girl was completely ignoring.  Yuka
called herself Akane�s friend, yet proceeded to allow Akane�s
fiancee to fall deeper in love with a man of all things.

 The shuffle of feet as the exit bell rings.  A raised Eyebrow.
Daisuke considers the two girls next to him, meditating on the
inseperable duo.  �You two blab on about how oblivious Akane was
about Ranma... you are so hypocritical.  I wish you two would just
come out and admit it,� His voice echoes with barely guarded
contempt, as if, once more, they were trying to pull a fast one on
him.

 Blink.  Blink.  They both gaze up suddenly, two pairs of brown eyes
matching Daisuke�s glare.

 �What the heck are you talking about, Daisuke??� Profound
confusion, dancing in her words.  Yuka apparently had missed
something, at least she thought so.

 A loud groan, a slap as his hand connects firmly with the flesh of
his forehead.  He waves a hand in a banishing gesture, swiftly
abating Sayuri from speaking the similar question she had just
prepared, �Forget it...,� A quick dismissal.

 �Do you really think I should?? I wouldn�t want to Intrude,�
Unsure, wavering... she asks.  She finds herself caressing the white
bow in her hair, for some reason finding it important to make sure
it is well.

 Daisuke and Sayuri jump, having forgotten the presence of the 4th
party.  �Pardon?� The boy genius inquires, having lost his easily
escapable train of thought.

 A sip, warm and fluid, as Yuka tests the tea that comes with the
meal.  �Assuredly, Ukyou-chan... I should probably tell you this
though.  Be there for him as a friend, you want to bury him go on
with that fiancee stuff.  It�s not what he needs right now.  Men are
very frail when it comes to relationships of actual love,� A swift
cut, and gently she lifts a small portion of the okonomiyaki to her
lips, deflty sliding it in as she chews vigorously.

 A soft, diagonal shaking of her head, Sayuri�s pony tail brushing
the nape of her neck.  �Ranma.. is so broken lately.  I- Well.. I
never felt much for him until I met her... that part that Ranma
hides from everyone,� She chews her lip, looking almost ready to
cry, �Maybe that�s why Ranma fell for Hiroshi... because Hiroshi
brought that out in him, that needing, that longing, that feminine
dependancy on someone stronger in many ways.�

 Even Daisuke�s disposition became sullen, �Ranma always lacked
emotional strength, and in a lot of ways spiritual.  He always
depended on his own arrogance and cockiness, in ignorance of the
things life could really offer,� A bitter, bile-filled laugh, �But
then, most people don�t realize what they�re missing.  Not everyone
can be Hiroshi,� A sigh threatens escape, one that he
uncerimoniously shoves back down into it�s box.  Still, his face was
far less cheerfull than it had been.

 �Nobody can be Hiroshi,� Sayuri adds in a misty tone.

 For several minutes, they eat silently, staring in thought at their
food, their minds elsewhere.

 She should chastise them, Ukyou thinks, chastise them for speaking
so badly of her Ranchan.  For some reason, she cannot find the
strength to harm their moods, which are so full of rain and
cloudiness.

 She resolves, with much finality, to visit Ranma after work.

 �This is quite good, Ukyou-chan,� It was an unneeded comment, one
spent to break the uneasy stalemate the conversation seemed to have
degraded into, Yuka realized this... the clue being from her
reluctance to glance up from her plate.

 Rain.  And a smile.  It was something he would have said... if
things had been the same.

 It just isn�t the same anymore.

 A smile nonetheless, as she thinks of better times.  Times without
Rain.

 �Yes.  I know...� Ukyou smiles, but can�t seem to wash the tears
from her soul.

 *  *  *  *  *  *

 Soft.  As if it were fragile, he caresses the picture sitting in
his lap, prominent is the feeling of everything inside him somehow
shucked from his skin, leaving him a hollow shell.

 Gently he traces the outline of the man�s jaw in the picture....
letting his fingertips drift slowly across his eyebrow, touching his
lips with the tip of a single finger as a shiver runs through him.
The emotions leave him raw and drained, wave upon wave crash into
his heart with unyielding ferocity.

 *Only a picture,* Disappointment shows in his posture, in how weary
and tired his eyes look.  You would think he had thought it was the
person, for a brief moment.  A moment in time, where everything once
more seemed happy.... the figure laughed, and hugged him close.
Closer than a friend should.

 The picture of Hiroshi is a good one... one of him smiling.
Unfortunately.... it is also one that makes him seem so dreadfully
alone.  The same picture taken the day Cologne vanished.  His eyes
seem to dig into Ranma�s soul, making the guilt feel ever worse.
Eyes that see exactly what is there, something Ranma is unsure that
he can ignore.

 �I can�t do anything, you know that.  They won�t let me.... I don�t
know if it would work anyways.  We�re... we�re both guys, you
know??? I mean... I don�t think you�d do that for me, and I wouldn�t
feel.. comfortable at all... why would you fall in love with stupid
me??? I am just... trouble.  Ask anyone... they�ll tell you,� He�s
only trouble, he tells himself.  He�s hurt, somehow, everyone who�s
ever loved him...

 He is a shameful disappointment to his father, a constant wound
against his Mother�s happiness, a stupid stupid boy to Akane...
everyone he disappointed.  He�s never too smart for Nabiki, never
too modest for Kasumi....

 Clutching the picture to himself he fights back the tears.  *I AM A
MAN.  A MAN, I can say that, because it�s true! I�m a MAN!* A soft
chanting as he rocks back and forth, the ache in his heart only
growing worse.

 Ranma shivers, and opens his blue eyes.... he hears laughter, soft,
musical, pure as distilled sunshine.

 <<She blinks her eyes open, the brightness of the colors seeming so
much more real than the world she left.  She was somewhere else a
moment ago.... it was dark, and there was a picture....

 �My Love!� His voice! Oh, so handsome and strong.... his voice,
that voice so full of sunshine and wind.  She giggles lightly as she
looks up at him, smoothing her skirt.

 �Yes, Hiro-chan???� His blush is so deep.... her affection always
did make him blush.  She looks at him, standing only a few yards
away, the grassy hill around them topped with only a few tree�s, the
breeze ruffling the leaves in a lazy manner.

 He opens his arms, �C�mon... the others are waiting, can�t very
well have a picnic without the guest of honor, ne???�

 *He smiles so shyly* He always did when she kept her hair down.
*Kami, how I love him....*

 She waves at him as she stands, smoothing her blue and white dress,
�I�m coming, I�m coming.. keep your pants on!!!�

 That grin, just out of the side of his mouth, his eyes squinting as
he holds his hand out...

 She reaches out to take it...>>

 �Ranma?� The voice is wary as it speaks, a masculine voice, deep in
timbre and thick in old strength, like an oak.

 <<She laughs as he takes her into his arms, as he nuzzles her neck
with kisses, �My my, very fresh today aren�t we hentai-chan???�

 He chortles, bringing his head up and pressing it against her
forehead, his eyes looking into hers.  �You are so beautiful, you
know... a man could just die,� His arms draping lovingly around her
waist.

 A mischievious grin from her as she cocks her head to one side,
�That can be arranged, hentai-chan.... I thought you said the others
were waiting???�

 A blush colors his cheek as he smiles broadly, a slight
mischievious wink, �They can wait�

 �Oh, Stop!� She kicks him hard, pushing him away as he yelps in
pain.  �Honestly... I�m not some sex toy!�>>

 Genma�s face becomes melancholic as he frowns, Shaking his son,
�Ranma... Ranma, look at me boy!�

 Ranma�s eyes are distant, his face slack, his arms clutching the
picture to his chest.

 <<�Do you think that we could take a trip, my love???� His eyes are
so soft, glimmering beautifully in the summer sunlight.  It almost
causes her to melt thoroughly on the inside.

 Teasingly, she tugs on some of his bangs, brushing them aside,
�Gee... I dunno.... a training trip???�

 That laugh, that laugh so full of life, overflowing and abundant,
that laugh she so dearly loves, �Of course! Of course... anything
you want, Beloved,� A soft stroke of her hair with his hand, a
gentle kiss on her forehead.

 A shy, but almost coyish grin as she turns away from him, her back
against his chest... �Anything, M�lord???�

 He shakes a finger in admonishing, �Now now... do I have to
chastise YOU this time???�

 That soft, all too girlish giggle ushering from her own lips.
�Mmmmm..... maybe...�

 He starts gently to tug her away, �C�mon.. the others are waiting
for us...�>>

 �Ranma!!! Please, boy! Wake up!� Genma�s strong, deep, resonating
voice now wavers with fear, his boy just STARING off at nothing, as
if he�d finally gone over the edge!!!

 Ranma�s eyes take on a concerned look, the only change in the past
several minutes.

 <<�I don�t know, Hiro-chan....� There was something she was
forgetting, a room, with blinds.  It seemed familiar, as if from a
memory.  There was a picture she was holding.

 He frowns, looking at her cautiously, �Is something wrong, My
Love??� His sing-song voice thick with concern for her well being.

 She looks back, her head suddenly aching... she was somewhere else
a few moments ago... a... a room, back in the Tendou Dojo???

 �Ranma???� Hiroshi�s voice is now inquiring, wondering what could
be troubling his beautiful bride.>>

 *SNAP*

 �Ranma!!! RANMA!� Genma sees that Ranma is slowly rising out of the
strange stupor he had been in, the Saotome Father suddenly realizing
how terribly frightened he suddenly is at the possibility of losing
what was left of his child.

 Blink.  Blink.  Ranma�s eyes slowly begin to focus as it thunders
again outside, threatening yet again to burst forth in a maelstrom
of water.  �..p...pop???�

 The embrace almost crushes the wind out of Ranma, his Father�s
strong arms wrapping around him.  He wasn�t sure, but he thought
Genma was shaking.

 �Oh Ranma... don�t.. don�t do that to your Father again, boy!!!�
Genma feels relief flood into him, and wonders at why his face is
suddenly wet.

 Ranma blinks in mute shock, then suddenly realizes that it was just
a daydream... his body slumping into his Father�s arms as he sighs
deeply, �Dad.... I... I�ve got a problem...�

 �Dad??? What happened to Pop???� Genma wipes his eyes quickly with
his sleeve, then holds his son at arms length.

 Ranma�s eyes are haunted with grief that Genma only recalled seeing
in Soun�s eyes when he had lost his wife.  The boy seemed drained,
completely sucked dry of any joyful life, as if there had been
nothing before Hiroshi.

 Sitting in the meager lighting that the candles provide for the
room, Genma opens a part of his heart he long kept guarded so that
he can listen for once.... truly listen to what his boy tells him.

 �I think I love him, and I don�t know what to do... I.. I know what
you and mom want, and- and- and I�m... I�m willing to- ya know,�
Ranma turns his face away from Genma, hiding the tears that suddenly
begin escaping.  �It�s.. honor and all.... and you made a promise...
and.. and...�

 �Ranma,� Genma�s voice is stern as iron, sharp as steel.  His boy
was grieving for love.... love.  Something he once had with Nodoka,
something that seems now faded and lost, Nodoka a whole other woman.
A woman not too unlike the man he had been acting like.  The man he
had been to his child.

 That horrid, cruel man.

 There is no rain outside, the battle between earth and sky having
halted for a brief moment.

 Ranma looks up, his eyes haggard and lost.  He looks at his Father,
who�s eyes are almost sad.  Something he�s never really seen
before.... not true sadness like this, in any case.

 �I love you, My son,� Five words.  Genma wants to say more, years
of admonishing leaping to the tip of his tongue, but he clamps his
mouth shut.  He always spoiled those words before... using them to
start a firm lecture of Ranma�s weakness.

 �And-?� Ranma wearily waits to hear all of the rest... everything
he�s heard a thousand times before, his heart sinking into his
stomach as he realizes just how horrid his father truly is.  *Soun
and Mother probably sent him up here...*

 There is a tense moment of silence, Genma hangs his head as he
realizes that Ranma might not be able to trust him anymore.  Him of
all people.  Ranma, coincidentally, wondering what it is that Genma
gets out of this sick, sick endeavor.

 Slowly, Genma begins to put words to his feelings, �Ranma, I love
you.  I have been a useless, hurtful monster... doing you more harm
than good in your life.  You�ve come to hate me, the coward and
thief that I am... but... I love you, because you are my child and I
can do nothing else.�

 �Father?� This is new, and shocking to Ranma.  His father seems to
be speaking with feeling, from his heart.  He doesn�t know if he
should believe Genma, the man who has more often than not acted his
way out of scrapes.

 Genma�s hands tighten their grip on his son�s arms, his fierce eyes
burning into Ranma�s, �Do you love him, Ranma?� The question is
flat, straight, a demand for truth with no quarter for lies.

 Flash.  Boom.  The sky threatens once more to proceed with it�s
bombardment of Tokyo.  The crisp smell of rain is thick in the air
as the koi fish leaps towards the sky, only to arc back down into
the icy depths of the pond.

 Ranma slowly begins to shake his head..... then a broken look shows
in his eyes, and his face contorts in heavy emotion... a short, curt
nod.  He feels so weak, suddenly.... as if his much talked about
strength decided to take a vacation.  His heart beats feebly, it
seems.

 �I- I know.  I�m weak- I�m weak and- and... it�s just not right,�
Ranma feels tears running down his cheeks.  Damn him and his fool
heart! That he would be crying like some stupid girl.  He�s NOT a
girl, he is a man!

 Shock, the ruffling of a gi as silk shirt meets with it�s fabric,
arms like branches of an oak tree pulling tight around Ranma�s body.

 Genma�s deep baritone speaks as if it were silk in the wind,
�Ranma... my child.  You are the strongest person I�ve ever known,
that I may ever know,� Genma shakes in the embrace, as if he was
freezing.

 Blink.  Blink.  For a long moment Ranma feels like a stuffed
practice dummy..... and then, quite suddenly, Ranma finds the
strength to do one thing.  And with that, he wraps his arms around
his father.  *HIS* Father... someone he strangely never thought he
could be proud of.  Someone he never thought would be the one he
needed.

 �Don�t dare make a decision now, Ranma.... I.. I support you and
Hiroshi, if it must come to that, but I beg you as your father
that.... that.... you don�t decide right now.  I will do all I can
to make sure you have some time.  I am sorry for all the things I�ve
done wrong, but by Kami I will do THIS right,� His voice is fierce,
and strong.  It was a vow he was making, a vow that he would not
soon break.  A vow that, perhaps, had a wager of his soul on the
paper.

 Ranma felt despair set in once more.... the weakness washing over
him as the devoured feeling returned.  How could he make a choice..
when he would disappoint someone either way???  It was too much.
How could he choose to be with Akane... when he had trouble LIVING
without Hiroshi???

 �I love you, Father,� It was said in a weary, battered tone of
voice, but it was nonetheless true.  It made Genma weep....
something Ranma rarely remembered, at least the sort of weeping that
required sincere tears.

 For a brief moment, by the candle light, a child�s faith was once
more restored.  Perhaps it was a new beginning for both of them... a
chance to heal the wounds....

 *  *  *  *  *  *

        Comments and Criticism are always welcome.

--
Sincerely....
Shimitsu Kaori.
Lost "Dragon-Gal"
of Shimitsu-Ryuu.
Princess of Chaos.
"What makes a curse is simply the view, a blessing to some is a
curse unto you, But
acceptance can conquer that fear you hold high, through acceptance
comes peace.....
are you willing to try?"
   -Quote from Kaori Shimitsu.
My Homepage at!
http://members.xoom.com/_XOOM/Shimitsu/chaos.htm
The FRAGILE CLAY WEBRING is at
http://members.xoom.com/_XOOM/Shimitsu/ring.htm
ICQ UIN: 28514115
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