Well, this is the very first multi-part fic I have
posted. It introduces my character, Shadra, a 3500
year old mummy... from China. If you are confused now,
just wait 'til later ::grinz:: actually, as the story
progresses, you will learn about her past and stuff
like that. have fun!

*******

<insert title here>

 By Shadra

(A few important notes: All characters in this story
save Lucy Cho and Shadra are not mine. The characters
from "Ranma 1/2", "All Purpose Cultural Cat-Girl
Nuku-Nuku-", "Sailor Moon", and "Mummies Alive" are
property of their respective creators. Don't sue me,
my parents would have a fit.

C&C requested; Flames will be used to toast
marshmallows.

Enjoy! -Shadra)


<> - denotes Chinese
** - Denotes singing

(Author's note: All regular text represents Japanese)

***

For someone who has seen sunrises every day for 3500
years, for some reason, that day's seemed more
beautiful than ever other. A pretty woman, appearing
to be about twenty-six-or-so years of age, was
standing in the cool sand of the beach, watching the
sun rise over the sea. She had stood there since she
had arrived in Japan at 4:30 AM, Tokyo time. 

In her hands she carried two suitcases, and a sword
and sheath was on her back. She gave a quick nod to
the rising sun, and turned around to walk to the bus
station.

Unfortunately, she had forgotten that her feet were
covered by at least seven inches of sand washed upon
her by the waves. Doing a fair imitation of a startled
chicken, she waved her arms around and fell on her
face. The suitcases that were in her hands flew
(unlike herself, who was doing the flapping) out of
her grip and landed in the sand. Being jarred from the
impact, they opened up to reveal clothes, jewelry, and
about four-hundred tiny vials of a violet liquid.

The woman swore in Chinese and picked herself up. Her
nice dress had been ruined by the wet sand, and her
hair was disheveled. She scrambled over to the
suitcases and closed them.

Picking them up, she looked around at the empty beach.
She sighed in relief at seeing nobody. Then, she
walked away from the ocean, tripping over the
occaisional crab or pit.

***

She spent the next few hours of home shopping in the
Nerima district of Tokyo. She decided it would be best
to stop and have lunch. She found a nice looking cafe
called 'Mama-san's' and decided to have lunch there.

She sat down at a small booth, and looked out the
window. A cute little black pig was trotting down the
street, pulling a set of wet clothes behind it. She
raised an eyebrow at this, but she thought that she
should just let the little pig be.

"Konnichiwa! I'm Natsume Atsuko, and I'll be your
waitress today! Would you like one of our specials?"
asked a fuschia-haired teenager while handing her a
menu.

"Arigatou, Atsuko-san," She replied. She opened the
menu and looked at the choices.

"Please, call me Nuku-Nuku!"

"Alright, Nuku-Nuku-san. Hmmm.. I think I will have
the squid tempura... Can I get a bottle of sake with
that-"

The door to the cafe suddenly blew apart... as do most
doors when hit with a really spiffy high-tech weapon.

Nuku-Nuku jumped for joy at seeing a young girl with a
really spiffy high-tech weapon come inside.

"Eimi-chan! Are you going to play with Nuku-Nuku
today?"

"Shut-up, cat-girl!" said Eimi, and fired at the
waitress. 

Nuku-Nuku suddenly jumped very high into the air and
dodged the really spiffy high-tech weapon's laser
beam. The said really spiffy high-tech weapon's laser
beam then proceeded to blow up the far wall.

"Wheeee!"

"Come back here!"

"Let's go play in the park!"

"DIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!"

The woman watched all this quietly, her left eyebrow
twitching occasionally. She quietly got out of her
booth, walked around the debris, and out through the
hole in the wall.

***
"Nihao! Welcome to Nekohanten!" said a light and
cheery voice as she entered the restaurant. 

The young woman who greeted her was about sixteen or
so with light lavender hair done up in a strange
style. She smiled cutely and led her to an empty
table.

"Today we have special on beef ramen! Is specially
made and is too-too good! You like beef ramen? What
you like today?"

The woman didn't even bother to glance at the menu.
She ordered the beef ramen and sat at the table,
brooding over her failed attempts at buying property
near the Azabu district of Tokyo.

"Excuse me," said an ancient-sounding voice. 

She glanced up to see a very tiny old woman perched on
a wooden staff staring at her.

"Oh, hello," she replied, still thinking about other
things.

"<Your aura is very strong,>" the old woman said in
Chinese.

The familiar language, as well as the statement itself
startled her.

"<Yes, you emit an aura very much unlike any I have
seen before... Tell me, do you practice magic?>" the
woman asked.

"<Y-yes, I do... Is there a problem that I should know
about?>"

"<No, not at all. My comment was purely
conversational,>"

"<Really. It did not seem like the type of comment one
usually makes to complete strangers,>" the woman said.

"<Well, now that we have exchanged information, we
aren't complete strangers anymore, are we?>"

The woman smiled.

"<I am Khu-Lon, matriarch of the Joketsuzoku,>" said
the woman.

"<I am honored to meet you, Khu-Lon. I am Shadra,>"

"<Well, Shadra, what seems to be your problem? I
cannot have my customers unhappy,>" 

"<Oh.. I am simply having trouble locating a place to
live. I just moved here... I don't suppose that you
have any suggestions,>" said Shadra, frowning
slightly.

Khu-Lon was about to respond when there was a loud
explosion from outside.

"Aiya! It must be Airen! Only Airen make that much
noise! Shampoo coming, Ranma-kun!" yelled the lavender
haired waitress as she rushed out the door.

Curiosity got the better of Shadra, so she looked out
the nearest window.

A large minotaur-like monster was rampaging through
the streets, crushing cars and damaging buildings.

"I always thought that those monsters were just in the
movies..." Shadra whispered to herself. 

As she watched, fascinated, she saw nine girls in
seifukus battling the monster. 

"Hey, I wonder why they are in Nerima," said a
customer, looking out the window like Shadra.

"Last I heard, it started out in Juuban, and they
followed it here," said another.

"Well, I heard it was a giant chicken," said a third
customer. The other two looked at him strangly.

"Of course it's not a giant chicken!"

"I'm telling you, it's a giant chicken!"

The argument degraded from there.

Meanwhile, Shadra had noticed that the senshi's
attacks were not working very effectively against the
minotaur. She got even more confused when a group of
normal looking teenagers (including the
lavender-haired waitress) arrived and started
attacking the monster. Finally, her sense of duty
overcame her fascination, and she ran out the door and
into a nearby ally. She lifted up her sword and
shouted, 

"FOR THE GLORY OF LONG-WANG!"

Bright lights and catchy music that is just too damned
short erupted from the ally. Luckily, almost everyone
had fled the streets, so her secret was safe.

Shadra ran out into the street, her hardsuit shining
and her sword glowing. With her enhanced speed, she
caught up to the Minotaur and performed silly poses,
yelling,

"Halt! Fighting with children and damaging property is
dishonorable! I cannot allow you to continue! In the
name of the Jade Emperor and Long-Wang, you're
finished!"

Everything came to a screeching halt. The Minotaur
looked confused. Some of the girls looked confused.
Most of the boys looked confused. Some of them were
laughing. One of the girls was about to cry. 

Shadra started to sweat.

***

The teenagers stood there for what seemed hours,
blink-blinking, sweating, and boggling. Shadra, now
very embarassed, stood there and sweated. The Minotaur
then started to laugh, which annoyed her. Shadra
started to fume.

"Hey! Nobody makes fun of my speeches! Prepare to be
defeated!" she yelled and charged at the monster.
Before she reached it, however, two of the sailor
suited girls shouted,

"BURNING MANDALA!"

"DEEP SUBMERGE!"

The two magical attacks fused together, creating a
steaming ball of water shaped like a ringed planet
that flew at the Minotaur. Shadra jumped into the air
to finish the monster off, when the magical attack hit
it.

She was about to slash it with her sword, when it
suddenly disappeared, causing Shadra to fly through
the empty air where it had been and impact against a
nearby building.

When the little stars cleared from Shadra's vision,
she removed herself from the wall and stumbled over to
the group of teenagers.

"Eek! He's naked!"

"Yeah, but he's cute!"

"Turn back around, Jupiter!"

"Do I have to?"

"What's going on? I can't see with your hand over my
eyes, Pluto,"

"Exactly,"

"Here's a tablecloth. You can look now,"

"Can someone explain why that monster turned into this
young man?"

"Is ancient Chinese curse! When hit with cold water,
he turn into monster! When hit with warm water, he
turn back!"

"Jusenkyou,"

The teenagers turned around to stare at Shadra. The
boys and the waitress looked interested, but the
sailor senshi looked confused.

"Yeah. You've been there too?" asked the pigtailed
young man.

"I visited them once, a long time ago," she replied.
"Now, if you will excuse me..."

Shadra turned around and leapt to the top of a nearby
rooftop, vanishing in the bright sun.

Shadra saved herself from more embarrassment by
getting out of there quickly... and only falling on
her face AFTER she was out of sight.

***

Shadra returned to the Nekohanten a few minutes later,
and was surprised to see a fresh bowl of ramen placed
where she had sat before. Shrugging, she sat down and
began to eat. A tall young man dressed in kendo robes
exited the men's facilities and approached where she
sat, pointing a bokken at her.

"Woman! Why is it that you gorge yourself on my meal?"
he demanded of her.

Shadra turned her head around to face him, a noodle
hanging out of her mouth. The young man continued,

"The fact that a simple peasant like yourself should
even gaze upon Tatewaki Kuno's countenance is an
outrage!"

Shadra smirked at him.

"Why is that?"

"You question me?... Very well. I am Tatewaki Kuno,
rising star of the kendo world, and the Blue Thunder
of Furinkan High School!" he shouted. Lightning struck
something not far off to emphasize his statement.

"Really..."

***

Ranma Saotome was heading back to the Tendo Dojo after
the fight, when he heard the sound of Kuno's voice
shouting at someone. Curious as to why it was not
himself Kuno was shouting at, he approached the
Nekohanten. He decided that he had nothing better to
do, so he quietly went inside and watched the
spectacle.

***

"Well, Blue Thunder, I shall have thou note that thy
dealings with one such as myself are at thy own peril.
Behold! Martial Arts Verbal Assault!" Shadra cried,
wiped the noodle off of her chin, and cleared her
throat.

"Preachify me not, pompous plebian..." she began
slowly, "thy poky presumptions are potty and thy
precipitant preachings are preposterous!"

Kuno's jaw dropped.

Shadra continued. "Thou art but a pituitous poltroon,
and thy obvious potvalience is betraying thy
prevaricate manner. Mine preponderant power porkends
thy fate, you palmacious peasant!"

Ranma idly wondered if the woman was referring to
Principal Kuno with the 'Palmacious" statement.

There were wide-eyed stares coming from the rest of
the restaurant patrons. Kuno was sweating, and his
mouth was moving, but nothing came out save breathless
gasps. Shadra smirked and slurped up some more ramen.

Kuno started to shake.

"You... you... you... fool! You dare insult Tatewaki
Kuno?"

"You sound more like Bob Dole..."

Kuno, being as he is, did not get the reference.
Instead, he rambled on.

"Silence! I shall not be defeated by the likes of
you!" he shouted, and reached into the pocket of his
robe. "Meet me in the athletic field of Furinkan High
at 6:00 this evening," he said, handing her a
pre-written challenge. "You shall regret the day you
insulted the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!"

Lightning crashed ominously outside. Shadra smirked
again. She placed her hand on her sword hilt and
mumbled something.

BzZZzzZzzAAP!

Kuno jumped into the air and yelped. A small cloud
hovered over his head, raining on him and occasionally
striking him with lightning... It was blue, too.

"Sorceress! You are in league with the demon Saotome!
Then you shall both be defeated by my hand!"

He turned around and strode towards the doorway,
trying to keep his posture tall and dignified...
although, Ranma made it rather difficult by tripping
him as he exited through the doorway.

***

A few moments after Kuno had left the restaurant, a
long-haired Chinese boy wearing white robes entered, a
bit bruised and battered. Shadra recognized him as one
of the boys that was fighting the Minotaur. Cologne
saw him enter and hopped over to him on her staff.

"<Where have you been, Mu-Tsu?>" she asked harshly,
hitting him on the head.

Mousse, disoriented from being whacked by the staff,
turned to face Cologne, but ended addressing one of
the customers.

"<Hey! I was saving Xian-Pu, you dried up old mummy!>"
he shouted at the customer.

Now, normally, the customers in the Nekohanten were
used to these fights. Normally, the customer did not
speak Chinese. And normally, the customer was not
REALLY a 3500 year old mummy, dried up or not.

Now, Shadra, not knowing that Mousse was yelling at
Cologne, spat out her soup in surprise at witnessing
such violence in a public place, and also fearing that
he had seen through her magical disguise 

Mousse was surprised as well. He was not accustomed to
having Cologne spit soup in his face. At least it was
warm liquid. He idly wondered if cold soup would
trigger his curse as water did. Mercifully (or
not...), his glasses slipped off the top of his head
and onto his eyes.  

"<Eep,>" he said meekly as he was knocked unconscious
by Shampoo who had come back.

"Aiyah, stupid Mousse..." she commented as she picked
Mousse up by the back of his robes and dragged him
into the kitchen.

The regular patrons soon got back to eating their
food, for they were used to this kind of thing. Ranma
Saotome, though, was rolling on the floor laughing his
pig-tailed head off.

***

Wow. That's it for chapter one.  A few notes: Shadra
is an original character of mine, as is Lucy Cho, who
you will meet later on.
Let me know what you think!

"The blue monkeys have lost their wheels, while the
pink chainsaws have stringbeans on leashes! GNEEF!"

-Shadra

sjholstein@yahoo.com

===
"The Blue Monkey of East Chapel Hill High School"

"Preachify me not, pompous plebian, thy poky presumtions are potty and thy precipitant preaching are prepostrous! Thou art but a pituitous poltroon, and thy obvious potvalience is betraying thy prevaricate manner. Mine preponderant power porkends thy fate, you palmacious peasant!"

"Palmacious?"
_____________________________________________________________
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