I need c&c... as much as I can get... I have several other chapters
written but they need to be edited. More stories can be found at the page
listed below. c&c on those too...

****************************************

By platypus3333
platypus3333@yahoo.com
http://members.tripod.com/Platypus3333
This one is weird, and the second installment in the Parallel Worlds series. 
It's also kind of corny (in my opinion) and kind of rushed.

****************************************

Parallel Worlds: Genuinely Strange.
Gendou grinned evilly. At last, he had everything he needed to succeed. His 
collection of tools was complete now that he possessed Adam. He fought down 
the urge to laugh. There would be plenty of time for that later. He leaned 
back, sighing contentedly. Then Misato came in. He shot back up to his 
normal, constipated dramatic position. He looked disapprovingly as she 
walked up to his desk slowly, swaying from side to side. �What the hell is 
wrong with her?�
	"Captain Katsuragi, never barge in here without permission." He cocked an 
eyebrow. "Now what is it you want?"
	"Gendou�er�what is that?" Misato peered at Adam, left on the desk. Gendou 
looked and saw the salvation of mankind, all in a fragile piece of 
decorative art. He tried to find words to convey the grandeur of what she 
asked him. He saw in that shell-like object salvation and the next great 
step in humanity�s evolution. Misato, in her drunken state, looked at it and 
saw a snack.
	"I�m sorry, but you have absolutely no idea how much I need this right 
now." She picked it up, sniffed it, and ate it. Gendou sweat-dropped. Soon, 
however, he calculated possible solutions to this situation. �I can always 
use surgery to get it out� it should still be as effective��
	Misato bit down. Adam broke into pieces as she crunched down with her back 
molars. Gendou stared, then tried to regain his composure. He cleared his 
throat.
	"Captain?"
	�Mmmm� crunchy�� Misato looked up. "Yes?"
`	"Why did you come here?" Gendou was slowly losing control. His fingers dug 
gouges in the solid oak wood of his desk. Misato sweat-dropped.
	"Er�I forgot." She ran out. Once she had left, Gendou slowly walked over to 
the door. He locked it. He slowly walked back to his desk and sat down. He 
contemplated this situation for all of 19 seconds before he broke down. Head 
in his hands, he wept silently, muttering that humankind was doomed because 
of a drunk bimbo.
	Misato walked quickly along the halls of the NERV command center, avoiding 
the gaze of everyone she saw. �Damn, that tasted good. I wonder where I can 
get more.� She went up to a security guard. She forced her mouth, which was 
staying shut, to say "Kiddle bibble fortauna!" She then collapsed onto the 
ground, twitching. The guard sweat-dropped.
****************************************

Later, in the briefing room, Asuka was screaming. This bothered Shinji very 
much, so he got up and walked to the other side of the room, where Cho and 
Touji were already huddling.
	"SHE�S IN SURGERY?!" Asuka bellowed. "I WARNED HER NOT TO TOUCH KAJ�"
	Ritsuko, who had managed to keep her composure all this time, interrupted. 
"Actually, she ate something bad�"
	"DON�T LIE TO ME! THERES NOTHING WORSE THAN HER OWN COOKING!" Asuka walked 
in circles around the room, mumbling things that would have frightened 
serial killers. Rei watched her. Then she spoke. "Ritsuko-san, what did 
Misatdo-san eat?"
	At this, Ritsuko got a little nervous. She did not know how Gendou would 
want her to respond. So she merely said, "We have identified it as a 
charcoal briquette�"
	"It was the first human on Earth." They all spun as Gendou walked into the 
room. "Captain Katsuragi ate Adam, the first human being to exist on this 
planet. We had brought his fossilized remains in for study, but the Captain 
drunkenly mistook him for a snack." He slowly rotated his head, looking at 
each of the pilots in turn in a dramatic manner. He thought about what he 
would do with the 17 fully-grown Rei clones when he got home. Then, again 
dramatically, he stalked off.
	Asuka blamed Shinji for this. It was easier.

****************************************

Meanwhile, in one of the many labs in the building, Misato was undergoing 
surgery. She woke up and had strange tingly feeling in her stomach: it 
wasn�t there. She stared down at the 3 surgeons operating on her stomach. 
She then turned to a nurse.
"Could I have some brandy?"
The nurse, an immensely fat lady with a negative outlook on life, snapped, 
"How old are you?"
Misato grinned dreamily. "706."
The nurse didn�t give her brandy.

****************************************

	Meanwhile, the pilots underwent training. With the lack of even teams, 
Ritsuko had went to pick up yet another pilot from the school. It had been 
random: unfortunately, it had been Kensuke.
	Kensuke was in ecstasy. He couldn�t speak intelligently, so Cho, after 
several minutes, decided to just leave him be. Kensuke, in awe, kept staring 
at the walls and drooling. Ritsuko was beginning to doubt her own judgement. 
Finally, she changed her mind. "Um, we�re not actually using Eva�s today. 
We�re going to learn kick-boxing. With Rei." She sweat-dropped as Kensuke 
stared at her in disbelief.
	Later, all the piots and Kensuke were standing in a gym. Rei was beating 
the crap out of a punching bag.

****************************************

The platypus looked up. "My homage to Andrew H."


****************************************

	Rei finally stopped and looked at the sweat-dropping group. "Today we will 
study basic self-defense techniques. These are merely an extension of the 
human body�s natural reflexes. As such, we will be working to improve these 
reflexes by repeatedly beating on each other. Any questions?" She tilted her 
head and stared. Shinji, lacking a backbone, started to twitch. Touji 
stared. Cho didn�t know Rei that well, so couldn�t see why Shinji was 
twitching. Kensuke just continued weeping: �So close and yet so far��
	Rei picked Kensuke.
	"Wha� Why me?" Kensuke was sweating.
	Rei straightened her head. "I find you� irritating. Is that a proper 
term?." Asuka nodded. Kensuke shivered, then slowly walked to the center of 
the room. Rei assumed a fighting stance. Kensuke assumed a stance he had 
seen on an old gaijin movie. He looked pathetic. �I wish I had a gun�� He 
watched as Rei advanced and began beating on him.
	Asuka watched the torment. She watched with the aura of one who was 
fascinated by all forms of physical pain. Cho, Shinji, and Touji just 
sweat-dropped and possessed looks of horror. The fight went as follows:
	Step 1: Rei kicked Kensuke in the somach.
	Step 2: See step 1.
	Step 3: Roundhouse kick to the head.
	Step 4: Uppercut.
	Step 5: Knee in the groin.
	Step 6: Arm twisting.
	Step 7: See step 3.
	Step 8: Knocking over and stomping.

	Step 9: Stomping.
	Step 10: See step 1.
	Rei was done. It had been immensely satisfying. If what she felt was 
satisfaction. She didn�t know. Kensuke lay on the floor in front of her, 
weeping at the loss of all sensation. She looked up. "Who volunteers to be 
next?"
	Asuka, in a poorly placed show of bravado, stepped out. "Me!" She turned 
her nose up. Everybody else grinned. She tackled Rei. The hissing and 
scratching began.
	Touji was fascinated. He had thought this sort of thing to be illegal in 
Japan. He got a nosebleed as Rei and Asuka began tearing at each other, 
Asuka screaming loudly. Rei just calmly fought back. Asuka broke off 
momentarily to slap him. Just for good measure, she kicked everybody else 
too. Cho glared darkly at Touji. "That was your damned fault!"
	The brawl began in earnest. Shinji stood off in the sidelines as he 
watched. �I don�t know if this is a good thing that Rei now had emotions. 
She�s behaving exactly like Asuka. My groin cannot take more than one. I 
don�t think it can handle one.� Shinji was soon dragged into the conflict by 
Rei�s death grip on his foot. �Crap.�
	Above, Ritsuko was taking notes. She believed this to be the result of 
something Gendou had put in their food. She honestly didn�t know. It was, 
however, fascinating to her hardened scientific mind. She had 7 different 
video cameras in the room: she would share this with Misato and the rest 
later. After there aggressiveness had toned down a bit.

****************************************

	Gendou stared at the 52 separate pieces of Adam, recovered from Misato. He 
sighed. He took a tube of Crazy Glue and began. While he did so, he wondered 
where his drug stash had went to.

****************************************

	Cho was beating on Touji, his fist thankfully covered by the sports tape he 
always wore. Touji was attempting to strangle Cho. Asuka was using Kensuke 
as a club. Rei was about to jump-kick Asuka. Shinji huddled against the 
wall, out cold. Ritsuko decided that now was the time to stop. She turned on 
the intercom.
	"Ok! Practice is over!" They stared at her. Then they all looked at each 
other. They nodded. They picked up Kensuke�s comatose form and threw him 
through the observation window. Then they continued to beat the crap out of 
each other.
	An hour later, Cho soot up triumphantly above a battered, bloody mess. "Ha! 
I WIN!" Then Rei got up and made a roundhouse kick to his head. Then she lay 
down on the pilot pile and grinned happily. What few moments of 
consciousness Cho had were spent staring at her back. He then drifted off 
into a happy, happy place.

****************************************

	Misato, now perfectly fine, walked into the command center. "What�s up?"
	Makoto grimaced. "There�s another angel.?
	Misato took the lead. "Ok! Call the pilots!"
	They all grew a sweat-drop. Misato looked around in wonder. "What?"
	"They�re all in the hospital after this huge fight. There are only 2 
legitimate pilots with at least some connections to us."
	"Who are they?"
	"Hikari Horaki and, er�" Ritsuko trailed off nervously.
	Misato stared. "Who? This better be a good one�"
	"�Pen-Pen. He is in fact 14 years old."
	Misato stared some more. "Fine."
	They wrapped Pen-Pen in duct tape ("Plug suit," Misato had said) and put 
him in unit 03, because he could use the extra arm length. They shot him out 
and he confronted the Angel. Pen-Pen began rolling around on the ground for 
no reason whatsoever. The angel sweat-dropped.
	The angel charged, as the occupants of the command center watched.
	Pen-Pen took out a progressive knife and prepared to stab the angel in the 
chest. However, not used to having opposable thumbs, he dropped it on his 
foot instead. Pen-Pen�s anguished howls eChoed through the command center 
until he threw up. This was an even more disturbing sound effect. The 
occupants of the command center were greeted by the sight of an immensely 
huge Eva swerving and then collapsing onto the ground. Misato drank some 
beer, and then passed out. The angel, shocked by this decidedly odd 
behavior, conveniently left.

****************************************

The platypus has no idea why he put that in. He had just felt that an 
obligatory fight scene was long overdue. So there.

****************************************

	Gendou smiled triumphantly. Adam was whole again. He gave no thought to 
whether or not Crazy Glue would affect merging. He placed it in a safe and 
left. An ant crawled on and got stuck.

****************************************

	Shinji woke up. Having been unconscious most of the time, and being nicely 
inconspicuous, he had not suffered any great damage. Making sure that no one 
was looking he went over to Asuka and Rei�s corner. He looked to the left 
and the right for a minute. They were all sleeping. Good. He grinned to 
himself.
	Cho woke up on the other side of the room to see Shinji standing over the 
two girls. He signaled Touji, and the two snickered. Kensuke recorded the 
entire thing, as did Misato, Makoto, and in fact everybody in NERV with 
access to the security camera feeds. They would all blackmail him later.

****************************************

	They all returned to school 5 weeks later, none bothering to comment how a 
penguin could do their job. Cho and Rei were sitting in their usual spots 
and staring out the window when Cho thought of something very important. He 
turned to Rei.
	"Do we get paid?"
	Rei looked at him briefly, then turned back to the window. Two cops were 
flirting with a prostitute. "No."
	Cho decided to ask someone with better verbal skills later. He tried to 
scratch under all the bandages on his head.
	School had been very uneventful that day. However, they all decided to go 
to the mall afterwards. Cho decided to present his question to Asuka. 
"Asuka, you buy a lot of things, right?"
	Asuka glanced at him and tried to hit him with her crutch. No such luck. 
She decided to be nice. "Yes. What�s your point?"
	"Where do you get the money for that? We don�t get paid by NERV."
	"She stared. "I�I�don�t know�" She turned to Shinji.
	"Shinji. Do we get paid?"
	Shinji, after saying "No," looked thoughtful and turned to Touji. "Hey, 
Touji, we risk our lives for free!"
	Touji�s eyes widened.
****************************************

	On a side note, this is similar to how many unions probably got started.

****************************************

	4 pilots approached Misato, who was currently hunched over a table with 
Pen-Pen. Rei lagged behind, as usual.
	"Misato, we want pay-checks."
	Misato�s eyes popped open. Deciding that she was probably still drunk, she 
collapsed. Shinji, unofficial spokesperson, walked up. "Misato, we�re 
serious. We know that we are fed and given homes, but we would really like 
some side money to go along with this. NERV can be sued for both hiring 
minors AND underpaying them."
	Misato did the only thing she could think of. "I�ll ask about it." 
Satisfied for the moment, they left.
	2 Days later, the kids receive their first paychecks. Misato grumbled. "Now 
you get more than me. Happy?" The kids were. Cho, unable to figure out the 
exchange rate to figure how much he was getting, just went along happily to 
the mall. Asuka took credit for the idea. He decided to say something.
	"Rei, what are you going to do with the money?"
	Rei thought for a moment. "I will invest my money in a mutual fund tp gain 
more, and the rest will go into the bank to accumulate interest." This 
caught the attention of the other pilots, and they stared at her. "It is the 
logical thing to do," she stated logically.
	Asuka would not take this. "Baka! Wonder Girl, this money is to SPEND. 
There�s no point in investing when you can get killed by an angel in just a 
day! Buy what you can!" She smacked Shinji for good measure, then turned 
away. Rei contemplated this. She came to a conclusion.
	"Pilots Ikari and Cho," she announced.
	"Yes?"
	"You will take me shopping." Cho and Shinji sweat-dropped. They were about 
to devise an escape plan when she tilted her head and looked at them with 
wide, cute, innocent, questioning eyes. They agreed, and then Asuka smacked 
them.
	"PERVERTS! I�M PRETTIER!" They agreed to that, too. It was safer.
	Upon reaching the mall, the group split up. Touji followed Hikari around, 
while Asuka just led Hikari by the arm. Rei calmly led the way while Shinji 
and Cho exchanged nervous looks behind her back. This continued for 15 
minutes before she suddenly stopped and turned around.
	"Where do I go?" Cho twitched while Shinji took out a sealed jar of fluid. 
Cho, glad to change the subject for a while, asked Shinji what it was.
	"It�s LCL fluid," he responded.
	"Why are you carrying LCL fluid?"
	"The soul of my dead mother resides within my Eva, so I took some LCL to 
consult whenever I need advice." Cho stared at the jar while Shinji held it 
up to his ear and whispered. He was not the only one to stare. Shinji began 
nodding and talking louder. Cho pretended not to know him. Finally, Shinji 
handed the jar to Cho. "She wants to talk to you." Sweaty palms gripped the 
jar. They were at the escalator down. The jar slipped and rolled down, 
avoiding numerous pairs of feet. It landed at the bottom with a sickening 
"thud" sound. Shinji stared in horror. "MOM!!!!" He ran down. Cho avoided 
Rei�s gaze as they followed. Shinji was the bottom, cradling the jar.
	"Sorry�" Cho shrunk back as Shinji looked at him.
	"It�s all right, she says that she caused it." Cho, for the first time in 
his entire life, felt grateful to a jar of fluid. He took it.
	"Thanks," he whispered.
	<No problem, dear. Just do me a favor.>
	"Yeah?" Cho avoided the looks from bystanders.
	<Try to get to Rei before Shinji does. Recessive genes and all that. 
Understand?>
	Cho looked at the jar in horror. "We�re 14�"
	<Oh, yeah.> The fluid tinted a little pink. <I forgot. I lose track of time 
when I�m a JAR OF FLUID!> She said angrily.
	"Sorry�"
	<It wasn�t your fault, dear. Be careful and remember what I said!> He 
handed the jar back to Shinji.
	"What did she say?"
	"Nothing�" Shinji put the bottle back in his pocket.
	Shinji turned to Cho and whispered. "Mom says to just introduce Rei to 
stuff that we�re interested in. If that doesn�t work, then we consult 
Hikari."
	"Why not Asuka?"
	Shinji pulled back with an incredible look on his face. "Are you NUTS?"
	"Oh yeah."

They introduced Rei to manga.

They introduced Rei to music.

They introduced Rei to anime.

They introduced Rei to computer games.

They introduced Rei to desktop computers.

They gave up and found Hikari.

Then�

They introduced Rei to shopping for clothes. This bothered them very much, 
especially when she came out and asked if what she was wearing looked good. 
And then there were swimsuits. Knowing themselves to be influenced by 
hormones, they left and let Hikari do it. It, again, was easier.

****************************************

	Rei lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. �That,� she observed, �is one 
hell of a boring ceiling.� She spent the next minute defining "boring." She 
would define "hell" later. She decided to do something about it. She got up, 
dressed, and went to the apartment across the hall. She knocked. A minute 
later, she knocked again. Cho opened the door, drowsy.
	�That CANNOT be Rei at 1:00 a.m.,� he thought. He assumed that this was the 
result of not enough sleep. He decided to say something about this. "Wharsh 
rong wif you," he said, as yawned. Rei peered at him.
	"Do you have any paint?" He fell. Once he got up, he looked at her again. 
�She�s serious.�

	"No." Cho yawned again. She did not go away.
	"Where might I find some?"
	Cho shrugged. "I don�t know." �Doesn�t she sleep?�
	Rei thought about this. And then came up with what she thought to be a 
great solution. "Pilot Cho, will you accompany me on a search for paint?" 
Cho stared at her in horror. In such a situation, he had no idea what to do. 
He was about to explode, but thought better of it. She was too innocent. 
�Urgh. What in hell do I do?� he came up with a solution that would make her 
go away.
	"Okay," he said. "Let me get dressed and we�ll look for some." He went back 
in. Rei watched the door. It was a nice door. It was blue. Several minutes 
later, Cho came back out. "First, I need caffeine. Would you like some 
coffee?" Rei shook her head. She watched as he mixed a cup of instant coffee 
with a cup of water. He ate it with a spoon. The change was immediate. He 
jumped up and blinked. "Ready."
	They went in search of paint. They took the bus. The bus driver, a fat, 
overweight man with several large growths of hair in his ears, took a look 
at them and didn�t comment. They sat down. "What color paint would you 
like?"
	"I would like my ceiling to look interesting."
"Why?!"
"It is white."
Cho thought about this for a minute. He had no response to that. �That was 
an odd leap��
	"Okay. Do you know any art stores?" She looked blankly at him. He sighed. 
Let�s go get Shinji. 25 minutes later, they arrived at Shinji�s apartment. 
Rei was about to knock but Cho grabbed her wrist.
	"We don�t want to wake anybody else up." �Especially Asuka�� "Stay here." 
Rei watched as he crawled out the hall window. It occurred to the new pilot, 
when he had moved 3 feet from the window, that that was not a wise decision. 
�That coffee it more messed up than I thought� I knew I should�ve stopped 
when the spoon dissolved�� He reached the next window and looked in. It was 
dark, something he then realized was common when one slept. He sighed and 
knocked on the window.
	Asuka turned her back to the window. �Damned birds�� "mumble mumble"
	Cho took his cell phone and used it to smack the window. The occupant of 
the bed jumped up.
	Asuka was angry. �Those #($&#$ birds� I�ll show them a thing or two�� She 
took one of her uglier shoes and stomped to the window. She saw a boy. The 
boy�s eyes widened in horror. It was Cho. She opened the window slowly to 
see better. Definitely Cho.
	"PERVERT! HE�S OUTSIDE MY WINDOW!"
	Cho took this time to shake his head very rapidly and waved his hand from 
side to side. "No�" She leaned back and threw the shoe with all her 
strength.
	* CRASH *

	"Medic�" Cho was now several stories down, rubbing a brand name out of his 
forehead. He had landed in a dumpster. It was full of beer cans. He did not 
bother to comment on this. Shinji looked out his window. This was preferable 
to going to Asuka�s room. Misato kept sleeping, mumbling about Kaji and 
whipped cream. Shinji saw Cho lying sprawled in a dumpster. He got dressed 
quickly and ran out the door, nearly hitting Rei. He spun.
	"Why are you here too?"
	"Pilot Cho decided to get your help when finding paint to cover my ceiling 
with," she stated in a monotone voice. "I see he has succeeded in his 
mission. Where is he?"
	There would be time for questions later. He grabbed Rei by the arm and 
dragged her along. "Follow me!"
Just as the elevator doors were closing, Asuka grabbed them and forced them 
open. She joined them, her face red and her hair in a mess. �What the hell 
was he doing looking at me sleep?� She ignored the innocent answers and went 
directly to the bad ones. Shinji looked at her, worried. She usually wasn�t 
quiet when angry. He pitied Cho.
Cho pulled himself out of the dumpster. He noticed that now all 3 windows 
were open. He saw a group of people approaching the end of the alleyway. He 
saw Rei. He nodded. He saw Shinji. He nodded. He saw Asuka. He 
sweat-dropped. She grabbed him by the jacket and tossed him to the ground.
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?! STUPID HENTAI!" She kicked 
him, but Shinji pulled her back with the help of Rei.
"He mistook you for me� he wanted me to help him get paint for Rei."
"WHAT? FOR WONDER GIRL??! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" She turned savagely at 
Rei, who couldn�t help but back off slightly. She was, after all, caught in 
the center of a nuclear explosion. She sweat-dropped, an astounding thing 
gone unnoticed by everyone. Cho took this time to sneak past, grab Rei and 
Shinji�s arms, and pull them along as he ran, chased by a red-head freight 
truck.

****************************************

	They stood in an art store, Cho in a new cast. It was on his left arm. He 
had an itch, but couldn�t reach it. He was angry, but the emotion "fear" 
managed to override this anger. Rei, however, had been lucky. Asuka had been 
satisfied to simply maim Cho. She was now standing in the aisle, staring at 
the millions of colors that she could buy. She was content, and tilted her 
head angelically. No one bothered to disturb her.
Asuka was now strangely quiet, pondering why he would possible be outside 
her window watching her sleep. She concluded that it was merely because of 
her beautiful body and hummed happily to herself.
	Cho was nervous. She was quiet. And now she was humming. �I�ve only been 
here for a week. Maybe its her period�� He decided not to verbalize his 
thoughts. It was a wise decision. In the distance, Gendou was looking over 
the selection of plaster and tempura paint. Cho decided not to comment.
	Shinji turned to him and didn�t comment on the cast. Instead, he asked, 
"What did you have in mind?"
	Cho nodded in Rei�s direction. "Ask her. She�s the one who has to stare at 
the ceiling�"
	Rei turned around suddenly. "I have decided to paint a large assortment of 
pictures on my walls. Will you assist me?" she looked at the group. Shinji, 
Cho, and Asuka sweat-dropped. Asuka was about to explode into another 
self-centered string of complaints, but Shinji simply was too wimpy to 
refuse. "Okay�"
	Cho turned to Shinji. "Let me talk to the jar really quick." Shinji 
complied, and gave him the jar. Cho took it and tilted it to his ear. Asuka 
stared at him with a strange look on his face. "What are you looking at?" he 
snapped.
	"What do you think, baka?" She smiled angelically. They ignored her. She 
watched as Cho whispered to a bottle of what was apparently LCL fluid. She 
turned away to watch Rei instead. It was less disturbing.
	"Yui, are you there?
	<Yes. How are you, dear?>
	"Fine. Rei wants us to help paint a picture on her ceiling."
	<Ahhh� I remember asking Gendou to do the same� We were so happy�> The jar 
sighed and turned blush-pink again.
	Cho sweat-dropped. "Uh�What should I do?"
	<Do it, of course! It seems like a nice thing to do! And besides, Shinji 
needs to get out more often.>
	"Uh� thanks." He gave the jar back to Shinji, who put it away. He didn�t 
want Gendou to see it and take it away.
	"I�ll do it," he said. Rei spun around.
	"I have decided to buy every single color."
	Cho face-faulted. "You don�t have enough money for that�"
	"May I borrow some of yours?" Cho sweat-dropped. He still had not figured 
out how to say "No" to Rei without expanding the request into something 
greater. He handed over some money. Shinji, in a rare fit of confidence, did 
the same. Asuka, after being glared at by everybody else, stammered, "I hope 
you appreciate my generosity!" as she gave Rei money. She then turned her 
nose up. Rei took one of ever color and made Shinji carry it. She then went 
to go get brushes. A lot of them. She also made Shinji carry these. It never 
occurred to them to get a shopping cart. They paid and left.

****************************************

	Back at Rei�s apartment, she opened the door and went in. Asuka stared. 
"Don�t you ever lock your door?"
	"I do not have a lock." Rei calmly unpacked the paints onto the floor.
	"But� But anyone could just come in and�and�" She left the thought 
unspoken. "Cho has a lock! Why didn�t you get one??!"
	"Actually, I installed that on my own�"
	"SHUT UP."
	Rei tilted her head. "Very well. I will buy a lock tomorrow."
	"You mean today."
	"Yes."
	"Fine!" Satisfied that she had one, Asuka knelt down and took a look at the 
assorted art supplies. "What do you want on your ceiling?"
	" I have decided to paint this entire room. With anything you can think 
of."
	"Great!" Asuka looked for the red. "Where�s the red?"
	"Red is the color of blood."
	Asuka stared for a moment, and then shrugged and took a handful of paint. 
"That wall�s mine!" Happy to do something creative for once, she skipped to 
the other side of the room and began humming happily. The boys shrugged and 
each Chose a wall. Rei took the wall facing her bed.

****************************************

	Meanwhile, the angel was slowly recovering. It would attack in mere weeks. 
It took another bath in a futile attempt to rid itself of the stench. It 
sighed.

****************************************

	Asuka was painting various scenes of death and destruction on her side. 
Fortunately, it was the side Rei did not face. She stuck out her tongue as 
she concentrated, hard at work. So far she had made an Eva that looked 
eerily like hers (but not red) using a huge progressive sword to gut 35 
angels, all of which looked like her fellow pilots, their heads mounted on 
the body of Godzilla. She was a highly negative person.
	Cho painted nice, happy scenes of people walking along in a park. They were 
very nice and did not belong next to Asuka�s homage to senseless violence. 
He quietly made stoke after stroke with his good hand. He pointedly ignored 
Asuka�s painting of him with an anvil above him.
	Shinji was staring at a blank wall. He then came up with an idea. After 
consulting, he took a little of the LCL, mixed it with paint, and painted 
Yui on the wall. It looked like an older Rei. Cho stared at that. He had not 
known this.

	Rei painted herself. Reading a book. And then around that, she painted a 
window. And around that, she painted the back of her head looking out the 
window. And then she painted some bandages. Rei did not possess much 
imagination.

****************************************

	The platypus sighed contentedly as he ate some fish. He munched, spit out a 
bone, and continued typing.

****************************************


	It then occurred to Shinji to call Misato and tell her what the situation 
was. He picked up a cell-phone and dialed.

****************************************

	Misato was lying in bed with 23 empty cans of beer in her hand. She giggled 
as the phone rang. It was now 5:33 in the morning. Only idiots were up now.

****************************************

	Shinji stared at the phone, shrugged, and hung up. He talked to the picture 
of Yui as he worked, happily painting his ideal world. He kept out the parts 
that were illegal.
	Asuka watched Shinji talk to a painting. She did not hear it actually 
respond. She kept staring. �I knew he was an idiot, but he�s lost it�� She 
sweat-dropped and then continued painting.
	Cho painted all the pilots in plug suits. Lying in the park. They were 
simply one group out of many. 243, to be exact. Cho didn�t have much 
imagination, either.
	Rei painted a toaster. It had toast in it. More on that later. Like in the 
second story after this.

****************************************

	Gendou smiled at his handiwork. He had managed to remove all the insects, 
and had filled in all the gaps with plaster. He put Adam in a Zip-Lock bag 
and stuck the fossil in the safe again. He then made sure no one was 
watching, and started making a pony. Out of leftover plaster. With Yui 
sitting on it. He then decided to make little Yui figures. He made 54. Then 
he decided to make unit 01. He gave up after his second try, and went back 
to making Yuis.
	Many people did not realize the actual depth of Gendou�s psyChosis and 
obsession.

****************************************

	The 4 pilots stood back and observed their handiwork. The room looked nice, 
and Cho had even wrote something on the ceiling:
	"Don�t Worry. Be Happy. Don�t Panic. Smile Often.,"

****************************************

	The platypus flipped through his battered copy of a Douglas Adams book.

****************************************

	Rei smiled the little smile she had. It seemed appropriate for the 
situation. At this, they all smiled at each other. Shinji then suggested 
something else that needed painting. They went to the hospital.

****************************************

	Gendou looked up from his work when Fuyuutsuki came in. He saw the army of 
Yui�s and sweat-dropped.
	Gendou grimaced. "Yes?"
	"Er� 4 of the pilots have come in and have begun to paint room 25."
	Gendou pondered something. "Room 25� why does that seem so familiar?"
	Fuyuutsuki replied, "That�s the one where your son always ends up in. You 
know, the one with the ceiling he�s always staring at?"
	"Ah, yes."

****************************************

	Touji had come in and was now watching his fellow pilots desecrate a 
hospital room. It was fascinating. He walked in and picked up a container of 
paint. It was sealed shut by dried splatters. He tugged until it burst open, 
splattering Asuka. He grew a sweat-drop as she slowly turned around. �Damn 
it, why is it always her? Why not Rei or some passive kid?� Asuka, with a 
humorous blue spot on the top of her head, menacingly picked up a container 
of paint and advanced on Touji. Shinji and Cho snickered. She threw it at 
them instead. It was open. They were dyed pink. Like all badly set-up 
stories, this set off a chain reaction. Asuka burst out giggling as Shinji 
stared in horror at his body. She started laughing, and continued to do so 
until Touji dumped some purple on her. There was a pause as she slowly grew 
angry.
	"Mein Gott! I HATE purple!" She threw some yellow, which missed and got all 
over Rei�s face. As Rei pondered what emotions she had about this situation, 
Cho threw a blob of light green at Touji. Rei stood watching as a small war 
began before her. She decided to imitate Cho and threw some turquoise into a 
random spot. She was then decked by gold. She retaliated.
	Outside, a now sober Misato walked down the hallway. As she walked past 
room 25, a blob of paint whizzed right by her. She stood still, then peered 
into the room. She saw a massive conflagration involving every color 
imaginable. Seeing that the pilots were having fun for once, she let it be. 
Then her face was covered with black. All motion stopped in the room.
	"No, go on right ahead," she told them, then walked off as it began again. 
Avoiding the gazes of everybody in the halls, she found Kaji, sitting at a 
terminal and searching the internet for illegal things. She snuck up behind 
him, paint still dripping, and then grabbed him and kissed him passionately. 
She then laughed and ran off. Kaji shook his head, stared off at where she 
had just been, and then went back to his business. He did not notice that 
his face was jet black. Ritsuko walked past taking a sip of coffee. She saw 
what he was doing and approached him angrily. Then she saw his face and spit 
out the coffee onto ST # 2. She then ran off laughing, in the direction 
Misato had gone. Kaji paused a moment to look at her run off, then turned 
back to his computer once again. �Damn, this place is weird today��
****************************************

	The war was still on. Misato had joined in, and for once all the pilots had 
a genuine moment of happiness. There was nothing in the room that was not 
soaked in paint, and the sounds of laughter could be heard anywhere in the 
hall. Paint ball after paint ball flew through the air, and for the first 
time ever, Rei was laughing, and all the Children were enjoying themselves. 
This would not last. Ritsuko came in and glared at them.
	"What the HELL are you doing?!" She stared at each of them in turn. Then 
Misato made her face white. She blinked for a minute, then took off her 
glasses. Ritsuko was shocked. However, everybody else had joined Misato in 
her mirth and had started to throw more paint. Or what little paint there 
was left. Ritsuko picked up a conveniently placed container and joined in.

****************************************

	Gendou stared at the situation through one of the many cameras he had 
installed in the building. This was fascinating. As this would not affect 
his plan at all, he let himself be drawn in to the general mirth of the 
situation. Then Rei painted a face on the camera. It was composed of two 
dots and a straight line. He blinked. With nothing to satisfy his 
voyeuristic personality, he took out a jar of LCL and began talking to it.

****************************************

	The paint ran out soon enough. When Fuyuutski got to the room, he found 5 
happy Children and 2 adults sitting contentedly on the floor, grinning at 
each other. Hee watched Misato giggling with Asuka in a corner. He turned 
around, left, and drank some vodka in a disreputable bar. He soon fainted 
and was put in room 26.

****************************************

	Shinji was happy. His room was extremely interesting now, and he would not 
mind getting put in it. As long as he did not have to get beaten senseless 
as a prerequisite. He turned to Touji.
	"Thanks."
	"For what?"
	"For starting this." Touji nodded understanding and turned to Cho.
	"Nice hit with the peach."
	"Thanks. That was one of my better moves."
	Ritsuko sat there for 15 minutes before getting up. "I need to clean up." 
She grinned and walked off with a psychedelic lab coat. At this, Misato got 
up and clapped her hands.
	"Ok! Hit the showers, everybody!" She herded out 5 children.

****************************************

	Kaji, still clueless, had gone out and hit the nightclubs. He had also hit 
on 34 females, who had all giggled and/or slapped him. �I�m losing my 
touch�� He marched off into the night, stopping for a brief detour though 
the park, where an old lady mistook him for a mugger and hit him with her 
purse.

****************************************

	Gendou fell asleep clutching his precious jar. Asuka went in and painted 
his face with extra paint off her dress. The jar giggled.

****************************************

	Cho and Rei then walked off to their apartment building. They bought some 
noodles on the way. They ate it together in a newly painted room admiring 
the walls. They (at least Cho) were happy and did not panic. What they had 
for dinner was considerably better than what Shinji, Asuka, and Misato had: 
some strange TV dinners Misato had bought when she was drunk. This would 
have been all right had Misato not also Chosen to heat them up. They dined 
on the burnt remains of plastic film, paper, and foam trays. With meat.


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