Judge Judy Toontown Tokyo / Slayers NEXT - PART 2 of 2

A Fanfic Xover by Kosagi
e-mail: legion@erinet.com
URL: http://members.tripod.com/Anarchy_Acre/Home.html
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AMELIA:	(Leaps up.) Incredible. What a wonderful example of Justice at
work! I am so very Impressed. It's great to see the Power of Justice
operating with such Beautiful Perfection. Truly Marvelous....  I'm so
glad to see that you will provide the Just and Right Thing To Do...
(Her babble continues as Xelloss' expression turns sick and he curls
up into a ball of agony.)

XELLOS:	Righteousness... Can't stand righteousness... Going to...
faint...

(Amelia's babble continues. Zelgadis' expression is pained. Gourry
just looks confused and Martina disgusted. Rina lies on the floor and
quivers.)

JUDGE JUDY:	(Takes a deep breath and speaks sharply.) Young lady!
(After several repetitions, Amelia shuts up.) Which of us is the Judge
here?

AMELIA:	You.

JUDGE JUDY:	(Sternly) Then sit down and be quiet.

AMELIA:	But...

JUDGE JUDY:	[Points finger at Amelia] Gag of Silence. (A band of
energy covers Amelia's mouth and she falls back and sits down, looking
stunned.)

XELLOS:	(Raises head and looks around.) Is it safe?

JUDGE JUDY:	Get up and stop fooling around.

XELLOS:	(Hurries to obey.)

JUDGE JUDY:	(Looks at Zelgadis.) Now then. We've heard from two of
your witnesses and it's obvious they haven't much more to say. What
about the blonde?

GOURRY:	(Looks up from reading a book entitled 'Digby and Penguin go
Quantity Surveying') Hmmm?

JUDGE JUDY:	(Glares at the book.) Young man... (Pauses, looks at
Gourry and quickly determines that it isn't worth the effort.) What do
you know about the problems Zelgadis has had with Xelloss?

GOURRY:	(Considers this.) Uhm... How do you mean?

ZELGADIS:	(Sweatdrop.) She wants you tell her how Xelloss keeps
getting us into trouble.

GOURRY:	(Puzzled.) Oh we're always in trouble. Do we really need
Xelloss for that?
ZELGADIS:	(Irritably.) He's a Mazoku, remember?

GOURRY:	Nine bean paste? (The rest of the cast face faults.)

ZELGADIS:	That's MISOKU! And it isn't a word anyway!

JUDGE JUDY:	Zelgadis, I think this line of questioning might be beyond
this young man. (Zelgadis sighs and nods.) Gourry, go back to your
book.

(With a  shrug, Gourry goes back to his seat and continues reading.
Quick shot of him turning the pages sideways and looking at a
fold-out.)

JUDGE JUDY:	And what about you. What's your name? (She looks at
Martina.)

MARTINA:	Martina Zoana Mel Navratilova. I'm here to tell you what a
horrible creature that Mazoku is. (She glares at Xelloss, who somehow
has regained some of his jauntiness. -- Hard to keep a good... er...
bad... Mazoku down.) He played with my heart. Made me believe that he
would join me in worship of the Great Zomalgusta and rule by my side.
(Sobs) It was horrible when I finally discovered he was a Mazoku!

JUDGE JUDY:	And this proves...

MARTINA:	How horrible he is. A betrayer of a Maiden's True Hope! (She
raises her hand and leans back, looking melodramatic, tears flowing.)
Zomalgusta would have punished him for his cruelty to me, had I not
found my wonderful Songulus. (Switch to Songulus sitting in the
audience dressed in the same costume he wore at his wedding -- Martina
won't let him dress in anything else. -- sweatdropping.) Isn't that
right, my master. (Leans back slightly and puts her hand to her cheek
in the classic evil lord expression.) That's quite right, my Servant.
(Her voice deepens as she speaks.)

JUDGE JUDY:	(Sighs.) Thank you. But it seems there's no argument about
Xelloss' personality. Even from Xelloss.

XELLOS:	May I say something?

JUDGE JUDY:	No.

XELLOS:	(Shrugs.)

JUDGE JUDY:	(Sighs again, even more long suffering.) Oh, all right.
What.

XELLOS:	I don't deny playing mind-games with Zelgadis and the others,
but I'm afraid most of Martina's assumptions about our relationship
are just that. After all, this is the woman who decided Gourry was her
fiancee just from looking at him. (He shrugs.) I admit I didn't
disabuse her of the notion, but...

JUDGE JUDY:	Noted. (Turns back to Martina who is glaring daggers at
Xelloss.) Young lady, all things considered, you'd best sit down.
Burt, pass her a copy of my book, *Beauty Fades, Dumb is Forever.*

AUTHOR: 	Blatant Plug.

JUDGE JUDY:	And that will be enough interruptions from you, young
woman.

AUTHOR:	(Sweatdrop) Hai! Sheindlen-Sama!

(Unwillingly, Martina obeys.)
JUDGE JUDY:	(Looks at Xelloss.) Well now. I've heard the plaintiffs.
What about you? Your statement says that you did everything Zelgadis
claims. I don't suppose you have any reason why you don't owe him what
he's asking for?

XELLOS:	(Shrugs.) Well, I was under orders from my Mistress. Zel-chan
really should be suing _her_.

JUU OU SAMA:	(From out of nowhere) I'll get you for that, Xel-chan.

XELLOS:	(Rubs the back of his head embarrassedly) Uh oh.

JUDGE JUDY:	Juu Ou-sama, with all due respect, please don't interrupt.
I'm doing just fine without your help.

JUU OU SAMA:	(A bit sulkily) Oh, very well.

JUDGE JUDY:	That isn't much of an excuse, Xelloss. If you feel it's
Her responsibility then you'll have to sue _her_.

XELLOS:	(Sweatdrop) Ano... I think I'll pass.

JUDGE JUDY:	(Looks satisfied.) It's your choice. Now then. _Why_ does
your master want you to cause Zelgadis and the others trouble?

XELLOS:	(Shakes finger.) Sore wa... Himitsu desu.

JUDGE JUDY:	(Points a finger at him.) Don't start that. Answer my
question.

XELLOS:	(Embarassed) But it really _is_ a secret. Juu Ou-sama would be
very very annoyed with me if I told you. And I'm already in trouble as
it stands.

JUDGE JUDY:	(Considers this and makes an obvious decision.) In that
case, do you have any _other_ reasons why I shouldn't find against
you?

XELLOS:	Er... Not really.

JUDGE JUDY:	(Looks at Zelgadis.) All right. Tell me exactly what
you're suing for.

ZELGADIS:	Ma'am? I just...

JUDGE JUDY:	(Exasperated expression) The amount, Zelgadis. Not the
reason.

ZELGADIS:	(Comprehension dawns.) Oh. Well, actually there wasn't much
money... I'm really suing for the trouble he's caused me and the pain
and suffering.

JUDGE JUDY:	(Puts down her pen and looks at Zelgadis with irritation.)
You didn't have to follow him on _every_ wild goose chase. You don't
get pain and suffering.

ZELGADIS:	(Looks disconcerted.) But...

JUDGE JUDY:	You chose to let him trick you, knowing what sort of
person he is. You don't get paid for being stupid.

ZELGADIS:	(Hurt.) But...

JUDGE JUDY:	Now, exactly _what_ money are you out because of Xelloss.

ZELGADIS:	(Sweatdrop) A thousand total. Ten gold for a new suit, when
his fire spell charred it. A hundred gold for bail for my arrest at
that weirdo town of cross-dressing freaks -- for indecent exposure.
Two hundred gold for the psychologist I had to see after having to
help Rina and Amelia sing that idol song... A total of 140 gold for
various repairs to my skin. Cement, iron, the like -- after he got us
into a fight with Mario Garve and Seigrum. Plus 550 gold for damages
to my reputation because of the fan-fic writers who keep PAIRING US
UP!!!

XELLOS: 	(Grin broadens and he flutters his lashes at Zelgadis. Quite
a feat for someone whose eyes are closed.)

JUDGE JUDY:	The last strikes me as being the fault of the fanfic
writers, not Xellos.

XELLOS:	(Nods emphatically but with a noticeable lack of sincerity.)

ZELGADIS:	BUT HE DOES NOTHING TO DISCOURAGE THEM!

JUDGE JUDY:	Not his fault. (She glances at Burt.) What do his numbers
add up to, without that last?

BURT:	450 gold.

JUDGE JUDY:	All right. 450 gold to the plaintiff. Case Closed. (She
taps her gavel.)

(Judge Judy rises and walks out. No one, except Xelloss, looks too
happy.)

VOICE OVER:	And now let's talk to the participants.

(Scene switch to outside the courtroom. Rina is rubbing her head and
looking irritated. Amelia is rubbing her freed mouth and looking
unhappy. Gourry is still reading. Martina is cuddling up to Songulus,
who looks very embarrassed. Zel is glaring at the far too pleased with
himself Xellos.)

ZELGADIS:	She has no idea what it's like to be around this guy. He's
trouble. That's all there is to it. Catch me _ever_ trusting him
again.

XELLOS:	Poor Zel-chan. I don't know why he's so anxious for a cure. I
think he looks just fine as he is. (Ping sound as he taps Zelgadis'
shoulder.)

ZELGADIS:	Don't... do... that! (Throttles Xelloss) I'm just glad this
is over. Now I can go back to looking for the Claire Bible.

XELLOS:	(Taps Zelgadis again. Some people never learn.) You know I
think I heard of one in the lair of Tiamat. (His voice is a little
strained, since Zelgadis is still throttling him.)

ZELGADIS:	Tiamat? Who?

XELLOS:	Just a little dragon. I'm sure that, with Rina's help, we
could get it easily.

ZELGADIS:	Tell me where. [Drags Xelloss off, a bit absent mindedly.)

RINA:	(Looks and Gourry and Amelia) Are you thinking what I'm
thinking?

GOURRY:	Uhm... I think so, Rina. But it's all right. Most women have
bigger breasts than you do.

(Sound of a fireball going off.)

VOICE OVER:	Next time on Judge Judy.

(Image of Carrot at the Plaintiff's position)

Carrot:	They beat me all the time, ma'am. My hospital bills are
incredible. And nobody helps and... has anyone told you how beautiful
you are?

THE END
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