One Little Kiss

By: Dreiser


-Prologue-

	"Where are we going again, Pops?"

	The red haired pigtailed girl who asked this pushed a wet 
strand of hair out of her eyes before looking at the large panda which 
walked at her left side. On her right side was a curvaceous lavender 
haired girl wearing Chinese style clothes like the pigtailed girl except 
that hers were tended to cling more then what the redhead was 
wearing. The lavender haired girl was also the only one in the group 
that was dry. That probably was due to the fact that she was the only 
one holding an umbrella.

	The panda produced a sign that read: <I told you. We're going 
to the Tendo dojo to visit an old friend.>

	"Right," the redhead snorted. "You have friends? I'm really 
buying that one."

	<Show some respect,> the panda's reply sign read.

	"Hard to show respect for stupid animal," commented the 
lavender haired girl as she formed a smirk.

	Chuckling at this, the redhead said, "Good one, Shampoo."

	"Much thanks, Airen," replied the lavender haired girl whose 
name was apparently Shampoo.

	<No respect,> the panda's new sign read. <I get no respect at 
all. Shouldn't you respect your Elders, girl?>

	"Not when they act like you, Pops," the redhead retorted. 
"And stop trying to use Shampoo's code of honor as an Amazon 
against her. Y'know it ain't going to work."

	As the redhead and the girl named Shampoo continued to 
walk down the road, the panda grumbled lowly before he held up a 
sign that read: <It was worth a try.>

	"Ranma," began Shampoo in slow hesitant tones. "I not sure I 
understand why we come here still. Is friends of your stupid panda 
father? That it?"

	"Yeah," said the red haired girl known as Ranma while she 
chuckled once again. "I guess that's it. Maybe Pop wants to check up 
on his friends now that we're back home. That's the only thing that I 
can think of."

	Shampoo nodded solemnly before she mused, "Still. It very 
strange. Idea of stupid panda man having friends."

	"You're telling me?" Ranma asked ironically. "The guy nearly 
got killed a hundred times in your village. Only thing that kept people 
from coming after him was you."

	"Is so," said Shampoo as she gave him an impish smile. "They 
not go near relatives of their Champion. Is very bad to threaten 
because of that and all in tribe know so they play nice. Even if mean 
have to not kill stupid panda man."

	"And what about me?" asked Ranma.

	"You is too cute to kill," Shampoo replied playfully.

	Snorting in disdain at this, Ranma never-the-less blushed 
slightly as she paused in front of a rather nice looking house and read 
the sign before she turned to the panda. "Hey Pops!" Ranma called out 
to the panda which was waddling their way. "I think that I found it!"

	<At last!> the panda's sign read as he stood in front of the 
large wooden gates before he began pushing them open. <At long last 
our promise can be fulfilled, Tendo!>

	Ranma and Shampoo watched in dim surprise as the panda 
went barreling onto the premises. But after a moment, Ranma 
shrugged and said, "We might as well go in."

	Slowly following after the redhead, Shampoo had the strangest 
sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. It was like somehow she knew 
her life had just changed.

	But whether it was for the better or the worse she didn't know. 
She just hoped that it was for the better.

-One-

	Tendo Akane wasn't happy.

	She wasn't happy one bit.

	First she had been interrupted in her training session, which 
was her personal way of venting, by Nabiki and her usual smart aleck 
remarks.

	And second she had been interrupted for a boy.

	Now, Akane had nothing against people of the male 
persuasion. Not in the least. But she had something against boys. Oh 
yes, she did. Mainly because boys were the cause of almost all of her 
problems in life.

	Men on the other hand, she could deal with.

	She could deal with men rather nicely.

	But boys? Oh... she hated boys. She hated them with a 
passion that bordered on near insanity.

	Anyway, it was the third thing was the current reason for 
Akane's not happy status. Well, calling her angry would probably be a 
bit more fitting. Angry... yes, that would do it.

	Akane was angry.

	She was angry because of the third thing.

	The third thing being her father's recent announcement that one 
of them was to be engaged to a total stranger. A total stranger that 
happened to be a BOY.

	Not a man, but a boy.

	And we know how Akane feels about boys.

	This leaves us at where we are right now. Akane's anger and 
her raging temper that is rising to volcanic levels.

	If you haven't guessed, this isn't a fun place to be as Tendo 
Soun knows all too well.

	"Now Akane..." said Soun nervously. "There's nothing to get 
so upset about. You haven't even met Ranma."

	"And I don't want to meet him!" Akane replied hotly. "This 
whole idea is totally idiotic, Dad! And I..."

	Everyone in the family gazed at Akane's wide eyed expression 
and finally Nabiki said, "Akane? What is it?"

	Not replying, Akane merely pointed towards the doorway to 
the sitting room and following this line of sight to see what Akane did. 
A large panda standing in front of them along with two girls wearing 
Chinese clothes.

	"Hey," the red haired girl greeted them casually. "One of you 
know Tendo Soun? My Pop's a friend of his."

	"I'm Tendo Soun," said Soun slowly. "And you are?"

	"Who? Me?" said the redhead in nonplused tones before she 
blinked then formed a rather arrogant smile. "I'm Saotome Ranma." 
The redhead paused and in afterthought she introduced her friend, 
"And this is Shampoo."

	"Nihao," the lavender haired girl said cheerfully.

	"Her name is what?" asked Nabiki skeptically.

	"My name is Shampoo," the lavender haired girl, whose name 
was definitely Shampoo, said sharply. "You have any problem with 
that? Is good, strong, Amazon name."

	"Right..." Nabiki said slowly.

	Before Nabiki could comment more on Shampoo's name, 
Soun leapt to his feet and cried out, "I'm so glad to see you son!"

	Soun was about to embrace Ranma when suddenly Shampoo 
was standing in front of the redhead holding a pair of spherical 
weapons as she glared at Soun.

	"No touching, Airen," said Shampoo fiercely. "I not like man 
what try get free gropes off womens. Is bad."

	"Free gropes?" Soun repeated dimly. "What in the world are 
you talking about?"

	"Daddy," pronounced Nabiki in slight exasperation. "I don't 
suppose you've noticed that those are both girls."

	"Oh my," Kasumi said quietly. "I suppose that means the 
engagement is off. We certainly can't marry a girl, can we now? What 
a shame," she commented with a soft smile.

	"Engagement?" Ranma asked. "What do you mean?"

	"It's nothing you need to worry about," Nabiki said in droll 
tones. "Since it obviously won't be happening now."

	At this reply, Ranma and Shampoo appeared more confused 
and they looked to each other for support. In the meanwhile, Kasumi 
rose to her feet to exit the sitting room only to be stopped by the 
panda who was holding up various signs for her to read. Akane 
watched this for a moment before she looked back to the two girls 
along with her father who was collapsed on the floor crying.

	Upon seeing the girls confused expressions all the anger that 
Akane had melted away. Actually, most of it had already left when she 
heard the redhead call herself Ranma.

	Obviously her father had made some sort of mistake. His 
friend's child was a girl, not a boy, and that meant their so called 
engagement was now called off.

	And that meant she didn't have to deal with boys.

	Which of course meant that now Akane was back to being 
happy. A state of being that few people saw her in these days being as 
how she was usually only happy around girls.

	Why was that? Well the girls never chased her like the boys 
did and they treated her like a person and not an object.

	Therefore, Akane liked girls.

	This was good news for their two visitors.

	"Dad," Akane chided. "Stop that. It really isn't that big a deal. 
So what if she's a girl? We still should be treat her with the same 
hospitality. Isn't that right?"

	"But all our plans!" Soun wailed helplessly.

	Noticing the odd expressions the two girls were forming at her 
father's antics, Akane said, "You two know any martial arts? We have 
a dojo in the back. I could show you around if you both like."

	"Yeah," said Ranma quickly. "We'd like that a lot." She shot 
her companion a pleading look and said, "Wouldn't we, Shampoo?"

	"Is so," said Shampoo with a nod of agreement.

	"Great!" Akane beamed before she led them out of the sitting 
room and towards the dojo.

	Observing their exit with careful eyes, Nabiki wondered about 
their new guests. But her wondering only got so far before it was 
stopped by the incessant sound that was her father's nonstop crying.

	"Honestly, Daddy," said Nabiki with a sigh. "It's just a silly old 
engagement. Why are you getting so upset?"

	For a response, Soun merely wailed again.

---

	"So you're an Amazon?" asked Akane hesitantly as she tried 
to figure out a way to strike up a conversation with their odd visitors.

	Both of the girls seemed nice enough but Akane had never 
seen anything like them before. Especially their clothes! They were so 
exotic, like in the kung fu movies and Akane was feeling just a bit 
overwhelmed by their presence as she led them to the dojo.

	"Is so," said Shampoo with a nod. "I am Chinese Amazon 
from mountain village of Joketsuzoku."

	"Wow," Akane said in slight wonder. "And you met Ranma 
while she was traveling in China then?"

	Shampoo blinked then asked, "How you know?"

	"Just a lucky guess," said Akane as she smiled. "My Dad told 
me that Ranma and her father just spent some time traveling in China 
and when you said where you were from..."

	"Two and two makes four," Ranma supplied with a chuckle. 
"It's simple logic, Shampoo. Or something like that."

	"Exactly," Akane returned Ranma's smile.

	Watching this exchange, Shampoo scowled a bit before she 
gained a gleam in her scarlet eyes and looking to Ranma she said, 
"Airen want to spar with girl? It be good way to work out kinks of 
long day of walking, yes?"

	"Spar?" asked Akane as she formed an eager expression. 
"That sounds like fun." She looked to Shampoo then added, "And my 
name is Akane. Tendo Akane."

	Shampoo shrugged before she said, "Spar with Tendo Akane 
then." Turning to Ranma she gave a feline expression that caused the 
redhead to shiver. "What you say, Airen?"

	"Uh... I dunno, I'm sorta tired," Ranma said lamely.

	"Oh, come on," Akane wheedled. "It'll be fun."

	At this Ranma looked haplessly to Shampoo who merely 
smiled and asked, "Afraid to fight other girls, Airen?"

	Giving Shampoo an almost dark look, Ranma muttered, 
"Fine." She then looked to Akane and offered a weak smile. "I'd love 
to spar with you."

	"Great!" exclaimed Akane cheerfully. She turned around and 
walked to the center of the dojo as she said, "I bet that sparring with 
you will be a lot of fun, Ranma."	

	"Yeah," Ranma echoed nervously. "A lot of fun."

---

	Nabiki was confused.

	She couldn't figure out for the life of her just who the fat man 
wearing a turban of sorts on his head was. The man was in the sitting 
room with her father having some kind of quiet conference that seemed 
utterly solemn.

	Wandering into the kitchen, Nabiki found Kasumi cleaning and 
rearranging knick knacks as she always did. "Hey Kasumi," she began. 
"Who's that man with Daddy?"

	"I'm not sure," said Kasumi cheerfully as she looked to Nabiki 
and smiled. "But he used to be a panda."

	"A panda?" Nabiki repeated dimly. She formed a nervous 
smile and slowly backed out of the kitchen. "Right. Whatever you say, 
Kasumi..."

	"Tell father and panda-san I'll have their sake ready soon, 
won't you Nabiki?" asked Kasumi pleasantly before she returned to 
her work.

	Still backing out of the kitchen, Nabiki murmured to herself, 
"It's official. Oneechan has finally lost her marbles."

	Turning around, Nabiki came face to face with Ranma whose 
face was slightly tinged with sweat and behind her was Shampoo and a 
smiling Akane. Seeing them all in the hallway left Nabiki more than a 
little bit surprised.

	"Akane?" asked Nabiki. "What have you been doing?"

	"Sparring with Ranma," Akane supplied happily as she wiped 
her forehead with her sleeve. "And then watching Ranma spar with 
Shampoo. They're both very good."

	"Really? Well, you all very smell," said Nabiki drolly while she 
walked past. "Why don't you all take a bath?"

	"A bath?" Ranma repeated anxiously.

	"That sounds like a good idea, Oneechan!" said Akane 
brightly. She smiled and looked to Ranma. "What do you say? Want 
to go get cleaned up now?"

	Giving a rather anxious laugh, Ranma rubbed the back of her 
head and said, "I dunno... you see... uhmm..." Looking to Shampoo in 
desperation she mouthed the word 'help'.

	"Airen is very shy girl," said Shampoo who was wearing an 
amused smile. "She not used bathe with other girls. Is too timid and 
meek for such things. Right, Airen?"

	"Right," Ranma said through gritted teeth as she shot Shampoo 
a dark look which the Amazon smirked at.

	"Oh," said Akane as she blinked in confusion. "Well, okay. If 
you're that shy about it then you can just take a bath when I'm 
finished." She offered another smile before turning around to bound up 
the stairs and towards the furo.

	As soon as Akane left, Ranma whirled around to glare at 
Shampoo. "Thanks a lot Shampoo," she grumbled.

	"What?" asked Shampoo innocently. "Airen not want bathe 
with Shampoo, she think maybe bathe with Akane?"

	"Shampoo," growled Ranma. "Y'know what would happen if I 
did that. We haven't even explained things yet."

	"What need explain?" Shampoo said. "Not even know what 
we is doing here." She paused to blink before she turned back to 
Ranma and asked, "What is we doing here?"

	At this question, Ranma formed a hapless expression before 
she gave a half hearted shrug and said, "Don't ask me."

---

	"So that's the story," said Soun solemnly. "You certainly have 
had a hard time of it, Saotome."

	"Yes," said Genma, who was the fat man that Nabiki 
described earlier. Although he thought he had a handkerchief and not a 
turban on his head.

	"But what about the Amazon?" asked Soun.

	"Shampoo," Genma supplied with a sigh. "She's an entirely 
different story my friend." He paused and formed a grave expression 
before he said, "Do you recall the village of Joketsuzoku and the 
Amazons that live there?"

	For a response, Soun merely paled.

	Nodding sagely at this, Genma said, "Exactly."

---

	It had been a long journey.

	Traveling from China to Japan hadn't been easy. Especially 
when it involved being stuffed into a pet carrier.

	Oh, the humiliation. Oh, the horror. Oh, the way the pet carrier 
smelled of nasty things.

	And those toys! How moronic were they?! Didn't people 
know it was more fun to play with discarded pieces of paper than it 
was to play with a jingle sounding bell?

	Anyway, it had been a long journey.

	But it was finally over. He had finally found his way to his 
beloved and now he would rescue her from her captors.

	Saotome, your day of reckoning is near.

	A low disturbing yowl filled the air and on hearing it several 
citizens of Nerima who were passing by vowed to never come near 
the Tendo dojo ever again.

---

	"All finished!" said Akane with a bright smile as she passed 
Ranma in the hallway who was averting her eyes.

	"Thanks," Ranma said quietly who ignored the sound of 
Shampoo's snickering and walked into the now empty furo.

	Closing the door to the furo, Ranma let loose a sigh as she 
crossed to the bath and began running the water. As she slowly 
undressed, she said, "Stupid Shampoo. Laughing it up just because I 
don't wanna girl to see me naked. What sorta thing is that for her to 
laugh about, anyway?" Taking a step towards the half filled bath 
Ranma said, "Amazons with all their crazy rules. I dunno if I--"

	Ranma couldn't say anything more on the matter because 
suddenly the wall to the furo crashed in and an all too familiar sound 
met her ears.

	"N-N-No!" Ranma stammered as she backed away from the 
slowly nearing form. "We left you behind in China! The old woman 
said she'd take care of you! She promised!"

	The dust finally cleared to reveal the form of a small white 
tabby cat with green eyes who looked utterly adorable. Upon seeing it, 
Ranma let loose a horrified scream.

	The tabby cat released a low hiss before it gave a sudden leap 
to attach itself onto Ranma's face. Immediately, the pigtailed girl 
started screaming even more as she attempted to pull the cat off of her 
and in this attempt she fell backwards into the bath that was now filled 
with hot water.

	The tabby cat's green eyes widened as the hot water engulfed 
them both and but before it did the cat managed to let loose one last 
disturbing yowl that terrified Ranma to her very soul.

	This, of course, caused her to pass out.

---

	Akane blinked on hearing the sound of a very loud crash. 
Standing up, she pushed her bra strap into place and said, "What in the 
world was that?"

	Before Akane could say or think anything else, or even get 
herself fully dressed for one thing, the door to her room went flying 
open and two naked boys went barreling past her. The one leading the 
way was handsome with dark black hair pulled back in a pigtail. And 
the second? Well, he was also handsome but with long black hair. The 
thing that caught Akane's attention though, besides the fact that there 
were two naked boys in her room, was the fact that the second boy 
was throwing chains with large cannonballs attached to them at the first 
boy who was dodging them.

	The naked boys continued with their frenzied battle as the first 
boy leapt out of, or more precisely he crashed out of, Akane's window 
and leapt to the ground below. The second boy followed suit and soon 
Akane was left alone.

	It took a minute for everything to sink in. The two naked boys. 
The battle in her room that left it devastated and the fact that the naked 
boys had just crashed out of her window. But when it finally came 
together Akane did the one thing that she had always been known for 
doing.

	She screamed.

	She screamed very, very, loudly.

	She screamed loudly and in outrage.

	And can anyone really blame her?

---

	Shampoo was still laughing, inwardly and to herself, about 
Ranma's problem with nudity and telling people about his affliction 
when she saw him land in front of her in the yard.

	Now it wasn't Ranma landing in front of her that caught 
Shampoo's attention. No, it was more the fact that Ranma was now a 
boy and he was completely naked.

	Naked, naked, naked.

	It was a state that Shampoo didn't get to see Ranma in all that 
often and she decided that she was going to enjoy the occasion. After 
all, it was the first time that she'd seen her Airen like this without having 
to sneak a look for herself.

	Shampoo was still enjoying the view of Ranma's rather 
abundant assets when a second figure came bounding down to land 
next to him. This figure Shampoo wasn't so happy to see whether he 
was naked or not.

	Rising to her feet, Shampoo produced her bonbori and 
shouted, "Mousse! What you doing here?!"

	Whirling around to face a tree, Mousse said, "I have come for 
you Shampoo! To free you from your awful bonds of servitude to this 
wretch, Saotome!"

	"Mousse," hissed Shampoo as her eyes narrowed. "You is 
stupid! Shampoo is engaged to Ranma! He is Airen!"

	"He doesn't deserve you! He won't even make your marriage 
legal through consummation," Mousse argued his point to the large tree 
in the yard with wildly gesturing hands.

	"Aw, enough of this," Ranma muttered sourly before he 
crossed over to Mousse and lifted his leg to give the boy a strong kick 
that launched him into the stratosphere. Watching Mousse sail away he 
said, "Good riddance and don't come back you crazy flea covered 
menace." He turned back to Shampoo and gave an arrogant smirk. "I 
showed him, huh?"

	"Airen?" Shampoo asked with a playful smile.

	"What is it, Shampoo?" asked Ranma.

	"You is naked," supplied Shampoo as her smile grew wider on 
seeing Ranma yelp and hastily cover himself with his hands.

	"Honestly boy, yelping like that just isn't manly."

	They both turned to see the forgotten figures of Soun and 
Genma nearing them. Soun was wide eyed as he looked at Ranma and 
said, "It is true then... you do have a son!"

	"Of course I do, Tendo," said Genma proudly. "And now our 
promise can finally be fulfilled."

	"Promise?" echoed Shampoo. "What promise?"

	"Forget about that!" Ranma shouted. "Would someone please 
get me some clothes?!"

	"Why the promise to join the Anything Goes schools of 
course," Genma said as he looked to Shampoo.

	"How is doing that?" Shampoo asked suspiciously.

	"I want some clothes!" screamed Ranma.

	"It's simple," said Genma as he smiled. "Ranma is going to 
marry one of Tendo's daughters."

	"What you saying?" Shampoo hissed in dangerous tones as her 
eyes narrowed.

	"C'mon! I'm getting cold here!" Ranma pleaded.

	"Don't get upset," Genma said easily. "You can still marry 
Ranma. He'll just have two wives, that's all."

	"What you saying?" Shampoo repeated as a large battle aura 
began to form around her.

	"I'm gonna get pneumonia!" whined Ranma.	

	Before Ranma could say anything more on his current naked 
state, a loud slam sounded and the form of Akane who was breathing 
heavily appeared. She took one look at Ranma and let loose a 
monstrous scream before she went barreling forward to pick up the 
sitting room table then throw it at him.

	In shock at Akane's entrance and her appearance, Ranma 
didn't dodge the strange attack and the table hit him square in the face 
causing him to fall back into the koi pond.

	Seconds later, Ranma emerged as a red haired pigtailed girl 
sputtering water as she said, "What'd you do that for, huh? I didn't do 
nothin' to you!"

	"Pervert!" Akane yelled. "You broke into my room with your 
sick friend completely naked while I was getting dressed! You're a 
pervert, that's what!"

	Akane paused in her rant to take in the fact that the pervert 
boy who had broken into her room was now the girl she'd sparred 
with earlier. A girl that Akane actually liked and was starting to 
consider a new friend.

	"What's going on?" asked Akane blankly.

	"That's what I want to know," Nabiki said as she came into the 
room. "What's with all the shouting Akane? And why exactly is Ranma 
naked and in the koi pond?"

	"I think that this should help to explain it."

	Everyone turned to see that Kasumi was standing in the 
doorway to the sitting room wearing a pleasant smile as she held up a 
steaming teakettle. She then looked to Genma and said smoothly, 
"Isn't that right, panda-san?"

	"Yes," said Genma with a slight cough. "That's right."

---

	Minutes later, they were gathered in the sitting room around 
where the table should be but it was still floating in the koi pond thanks 
to Akane who was staring at a now dressed female Ranma. She didn't 
know exactly what was going on but she figured it had to do with their 
three new house guests.

	"It's such a long story," said Genma gravely. "But I think the 
best way to explain it would be this."

	Genma reached for the nearby teakettle and abruptly upended 
it over Ranma's head. The reaction was instant and Ranma turned from 
a cute red haired pigtailed girl into a cute black haired pigtailed guy.

	Seeing this change, Akane grimaced.

	Nabiki in the meantime said, "Neat trick. Care to explain 
exactly how that happened though?"

	"You see," began Genma gravely. "It all started when Ranma 
and I crossed over to China for a training journey. I had wisely chosen 
to go to the training grounds of Jusenkyo to improve the boy's skill in 
the art but he--"

	Genma was abruptly cut off by Shampoo's bonbori hitting him 
on the top of the head and Ranma's foot kicking him hard in the side. 
As Genma went toppling over, Ranma muttered, "Stupid old man. You 
ain't never done anything wise in your entire life."

	"So what happened then?" asked Kasumi kindly.

	"Well, it went like this," said Ranma as he scratched his cheek. 
"Pop's bought booklets about famous training grounds all over the 
world at this yard sale, right? And he got this one from China that 
talked about the legendary training ground of Jusenkyo. Problem is 
Pop can't read Chinese."

	"You're kidding," said Nabiki dryly.

	"I wish," Ranma shook his head. "Anyways, Pop decides to 
drag me to China and spar at Jusenkyo on top of these bamboo poles 
they got there, right? I beat him easy, like I always do, and he lands in 
one of the springs that are underneath these high bamboo poles. The 
suddenly this panda jumps out of the spring and starts attacking. I 
sorta freaked out, y'know? Because first there was my Pop and then 
there was this panda. So while I was distracted the old man decides to 
knock me into a spring too. Except the spring that I fell in changed me 
into a girl and not a panda."

	"Panda-san," said Kasumi in scolding tones. "That wasn't very 
honorable of you at all."

	"Nah, but it's typical him," Ranma snorted while Genma 
actually looked chastised at Kasumi's words. "And after that, the 
Guide took us to Shampoo's village."

	"And Shampoo meet Airen!" said Shampoo happily as she 
clung to Ranma's arm tightly. Her eyes narrowed and she gave Genma 
a nasty look then said, "And I not share him."

	As Genma gave a nervous laugh, Kasumi looked to Shampoo 
and asked, "May I ask why you keep calling Ranma your Airen? Are 
you two really engaged then?"

	"Engaged?" Akane and Nabiki asked in surprise.

	"Oh my," said Kasumi as she looked to her younger sisters. 
"Didn't you know? The word Airen is usually used for someone you're 
engaged or married to in Mandarin."

	Mimicking Genma's laugh, Ranma rubbed the back of his head 
and said, "Yeah... I sorta defeated Shampoo when we were in her 
village and well..."

	"Defeated?" Shampoo sniffed. She looked to the Tendos and 
said, "I telling whole story. Airen Ranma come into village with Guide 
and stupid panda father during annual fighting tournament. Shampoo 
had just fought final battle and was about to be declared winner when 
she saw Ranma and stupid panda father eating all food gathered as 
first prize. I very upset at seeing this, because villagers work hard to 
find all delicious foods for many weeks. Was great dishonor to both 
me and entire tribe for this to be happening."

	"We didn't know!" Ranma protested lamely.

	Smiling at this, Shampoo continued, "So I challenge Ranma to 
fight. We fight and I being foolish, underestimated my opponent, and 
Ranma win fight. When outsider defeat an Amazon in battle we having 
two choices. Give kiss of death or kiss of life. If give kiss of death, 
Amazon hunt outsider down and kill them. If give kiss of life, Amazon 
engaged to marry strong outsider."

	"I got the kiss of life," said Ranma sheepishly.

	"Is so," Shampoo beamed as she clung to Ranma once more. 
"I not wanting to kill such a cute and strong girl."

	"So you're already engaged," said Nabiki slowly. She turned 
to Soun and smirked before she said, "That's too bad for you, Daddy. 
It looks like the deal is off."

	"Deal?" Ranma asked. "What deal?"

	Scowling deeply, Shampoo said, "Am thinking that Airen's 
stupid panda father promise something dumb again."

	"Pop," said Ranma in slow dangerous tones. "Is what 
Shampoo saying true? What did you promise now?"

	"I didn't do anything!" Genma replied in offense. "This promise 
is something of honor, boy. You have to uphold it!"

	"Right," Ranma said skeptically. "So what is it?"

	"Marriage," said Genma sternly as he folded his arms across 
his chest. "You will marry one of Tendo's daughters."

	There was a slight pause as Shampoo bashed Genma on the 
head with her bonbori while Ranma kicked him in the side again. 
"What did you say?" Ranma growled.

	"I said you're going to marry one of them!" said Genma as he 
pushed Ranma and Shampoo off of him. "It's a promise that Tendo 
and I made many years ago so we could unite the two Anything Goes 
schools of martial arts." His eyes gained a strange gleam as he said, 
"It's a promise that you will keep."

	"Forget it!" Ranma said fiercely. "I ain't marrying no one and I 
ain't just going to dump Shampoo. She's my friend."

	"Now, now, son," said Soun in soothing tones as he finally 
entered the conversation. "No one said anything about dumping 
Shampoo. We don't want that at all."

	"You don't?" said Ranma and Shampoo in disbelief.

	"Of course not," Soun said with a smile. "Your father and I 
know something about Amazon culture and because of that we know 
it's perfectly legal for you to have two wives in their society. That 
means you can marry both Shampoo and one of my little girls, then 
everyone will be happy!"

	There was a long pause before Nabiki shook her head and 
said lowly, "That's our Daddy. A brilliant strategist."

	Soun nodded happily at this as he slung an arm around a 
shocked Ranma's shoulder. "Just pick anyone that you like. There's 
Kasumi, my oldest, she's nineteen. Then there is Nabiki, my middle 
child, she's seventeen. And you know Akane, my youngest, who is 
sixteen like you."

	"Father," said Kasumi. "This isn't right. Ranma is already 
engaged to Shampoo. Should we really interfere with his promise to 
marry her?"

	"Certainly," said Soun strongly. "Saotome and I made our 
promise to unite our two schools long before Ranma ever met 
Shampoo. That means this duty comes first." Looking to Ranma who 
was frozen he said, "Which one will it be?"

	While Ranma remained frozen and staring off into space, 
Nabiki rolled her eyes and said, "Count me out. I don't like sharing a 
crowded bed at night."

	"Well, that leaves Kasumi and Akane," said Soun with a smile. 
"What do you say, Ranma?"

	Ranma still remained frozen while Kasumi sighed and rose to 
her feet. "I want nothing at all to do with this father," she murmured. 
"And I also think that panda-san should talk to the Amazon Elders 
before you both go through with all of this."

	"So that leaves Akane!" Soun proclaimed as he slapped 
Ranma hard on the back. "Good choice son!"

	"What?!" Akane shouted. "What do you mean that leaves me? 
I don't want to be engaged to a pervert like him!"

	"Pervert?" said Ranma as he finally snapped out of his stupor. 
"Who're you calling a pervert?!"

	"I'm calling you a pervert!" retorted Akane. "You broke into 
my room naked with your sicko friend!"

	"Mousse isn't my friend, he was trying to kill me!" Ranma 
shouted while his face grew red. "And why would I wanna break in on 
you? If I really wanna see a naked girl I can just look at myself in the 
mirror." Ranma paused to study Akane before she smirked and said, 
"And I'm better built to boot."

	Twitching in anger, Akane produced a large mallet from out of 
nowhere and bashed Ranma over the head with it. The entire group 
stared at Ranma's crumpled form for a moment before Genma said 
wisely, "Now he deserved that."

	"What you doing?" Shampoo asked as she neared Akane. 
"Not be attacking Shampoo's Airen. You not want marry, that is your 
stupid mistake, but no attack Ranma."

	"A mistake? Marrying a pervert like him?" Akane scoffed. 
"Obviously you Amazons have a few screws loose."

	"Why you," Shampoo began as she started to walk near 
Akane and produced her bonbori. She was stopped as Ranma 
grabbed her ankle. Looking down at him she asked, "Airen? What is 
matter? She hit you harder than I think?"

	"No," groaned Ranma. "I'm fine. But don't fight with her 
Shampoo. Y'know that you'd just hurt her. She ain't up to speed with 
us, even if she is a violent maniac."

	"What did you just say?" Akane growled.

	For the fourth time that day, a loud crash sounded at the 
Tendo dojo and hearing it caused all of their neighbors to worry about 
just what was going on in there.

To be continued...

All characters in this fanfiction are from Ranma 1/2. This fanfic was 
inspired by the works of the goddess Rumiko Takahashi. I'd like to 
thank Red Death who maintains my webpage for helping me put the 
concept for this new series together. I don't know if I'll be able to 
continue writing it but at least the start is out there.

Author's note: Yes, I'm nuts. I have just started another Ranma 
alternate reality series. I'm not really sure if I'm going to be able to 
write this series a regular pace but I have decided that I will be 
continuing it. Anyway, I hoped you liked it and laughed.

Send comments to: Dreiser1@ix.netcom.com

Chat with me on ICQ! My ICQ # is: 37674780 

Thanks to Red Death all my fanfics are archived at:
http://www.lvdi.net/~reddeath/dreiser.htm

"If anger comes so easily and is used to give identity. A feeling 
without quality then that makes anger cheap."
-Die Cheerleader-