| Subject: Re: [FFML] [Fanfic][Ranma]First Steps |
| From: kleppe@execpc.com (Gary Kleppe) |
| Date: 7/25/1999, 11:43 AM |
| To: |
Nice scene, but by itself it really felt incomplete. It just sorta stopped without any real conclusion. It'd be great as part of a larger fic but I don't think it stands on its own, not without more of an ending. The writing was good, though the amount of Japanese was a bit much for my tastes. What's wrong with saying "Father?"