What follows is the rewritten episode of Slayers PERSIST episode one. 
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Slayers PERSIST
Episode One
"Monthly Denials! Attack of the Big Flying Skeleton Thing!"

     He wanted to be strong.
     That was, essentially, all there was to him. To the world. The need to 
be stronger.
     The need for strength.
     And so he hacked at the nothing about him. His sword sliced through the 
nonexistent air with a clean, thorough precision that 
bespoke of unmastered potential, but it wasn't near good enough.
     At once he could feel the presence was behind him; it was a presence he 
had long learned to expect. He turned to face his 
grandfather and great-grandfather, the great sage and priest heralded as a 
saint, a worker of miracles, the kindest soul alive. Except 
this was not any saint; this was a half-mad vessel of vain ambition ruled by 
the Lord of Mazoku. Any humanity this man might once 
have possessed was now stored away as Ruby-Eye Shaburanigdo ran the show. He 
knew this, and the knowing made it horrible, 
because he was unable to run.
     The two of them appraised one another for a moment, his own sword-blows 
stilled as this vessel for destruction walked 
towards him, the ghostly kind of walk that never exists anywhere but with the 
supernatural. The rings of his staff clanged noisily 
together with each staff, ironic that the last remaining anchor between this 
vessel and his once-cherished Priesthood would resonate 
so loud, despite being so weak.
     When the corrupt priest stopped before him, he was still unable to run. 
He knew he should, knew it even more clearly now 
that this man was before him, but he was rooted, and could not. He gazed at 
his ancestor with tremidity, and his ancestor's blind 
eyes gazed back.
     It was then that he realized it was happening; like a demon's darkest 
dream, the red robes of who was once a great sage 
coiled towards him with the silken ease of a serpent, twining about his legs, 
his arms, his torso, his neck; pulling taut all about him, 
holding him as his sword dropped from a weakened grasp and fell beyond his 
line of sight. He struggled, he screamed, he flailed, 
and it had no effect; it never had any effect. He could feel the robes 
somehow coiling within his skin, getting deep into his life's 
blood, surging through him with a power at once exotic and horrible. He felt 
himself grow heavier, his hair constrict, tighten, and a 
sudden unexplainable sensation, an explosive increase in his senses.
     When the robes withdrew, their job complete, his grandfather did not so 
much dissapear as he was lost in a sudden torrent of 
emotion, as he looked at his hands, felt his face, and knowing again the pain 
of his fate, screamed a loud, wild scream.
      
     Zelgadiss sat up in his bed, chest heaving. Sweat rolled down his cheek, 
a sensation almost completely lost to him because 
of the granite that composed his skin.
     He sat, for a long time, breathing and staring at the sheets knotted in 
his fists. Then his face hardened, pardon the pun, he 
uttered an obscenity, and thrust his head back against his pillow...
     ...wherein his spiky hair became promptly entangled. After a moment of 
comical wrestling with the downy softness behind his 
head, he managed to pry it off and reassert a little dignity into the serious 
scene. With a mutter curse, he rolled over and closed his 
eyes.

     "Lina-san?"
     "Hai?"
     "Why do all bandit leaders always look like apes?"
     Lina blinked, for that was not a question one usually expects to hear. 
"Huh?"
     "Look at him," Gourry insisted, motioning to the scarred man cowering in 
her shadow.
     Lina, seeing no harm in humoring her sidekick, indulged him and looked. 
"Hey, you're right! If you squint a little bit...."
     "Oi..." the bandit began, quaking as he was. "But apes usually don't 
have buck teeth."
     "True."
     "Oi!" the bandit tried again.
     "And actually, I think they're a little less hairy."
     "Really?"
     "Oi!!" the bandit said, climbing to his feet and huffing. "You already 
ran off my band, took all my loot, and ruined all the 
credentials I ever had in this business! There's no reason for you to bring 
me down on my looks!"
     "Gomen," Gourry said, quite politely. "It's just that all the bandit 
leaders we've fought look a lot like you. With maybe a few 
changes to the scar pattern."
     "Animators slacking off with the character designs, probably," was 
Lina's suggestion.
     "Hai," Gourry agreed.
     Unreconciled, the bandit stomped a foot. "What is it you want from me?"
     Lina looked over at him, her eyes wide and innocent. "You mean you 
didn't figure that out?"
     "No," the bandit answered in the voice of all grudgingly admitted idiots.
     Gourry cleared his throat and looked away. "Poor, poor man," he was 
heard to murmur.
     The bandit blinked. "Wha? Wha?"
     Lina took a step forward, shoving up her sleeves and looking very much 
like a cat about to pounce. The bandit's arms flailed a 
little as he tottered back, tripped over the root of a tree, and fell on his 
ass.
     Lina Inverse, the evil and terrifying antagonist to all mankind, had 
shown up less than twenty minutes ago; before she had 
popped in, everything had been grand. His gang, known unoriginally as The Bad 
Guys, had just looted a small town an hour or so 
away, and had been partying with their money stolen wenches when a spheric 
chariot of fire burst out of nowhere, landing right in the 
center of their hideout (which was a grassy knoll, and not too hidden at all 
actually, the bandit leader mused too late). And of course 
the chick standing there after the flames dispersed had to be the notoriously 
evil Lina Inverse, who killed and then devoured the 
bones and inner organs of bandits and their kin. She had made short work of 
half the gang in under two minutes with a Fireball here 
and a Flare Arrow there. The Bad Guys fled every which way, leaving piles and 
piles of money and nude wenches behind. He himself 
was apprehended by the pet swordsman, who grabbed hold of the back of his 
shirt and held him in place until The Evil One had 
finished spilling all the littered gold into her pouches. Not a noble 
capture, the bandit groused to himself. It was then that Blondie had 
begun making rude comments about his appearance.
     Lina towered over him frighteningly. He cried out and hid behind his 
arms, cinching his eyes tight and shivering uncontrollably. 
"Don't kill me! Please, I beg you, I have four kids and a wife and a dog and 
a monkey and parents and a sister and a cousin-"
     "We won't," Lina said simply, and crossed her arms.
     The bandit blinked. "Huh?"
     "I said we won't kill you!" Lina repeated, louder.
     "But..." The bandit's ape-like mind raced to understand this. "Aren't 
you... the evil devil woman Lina Inverse?"
     Her eyes narrowed, and her teeth clenched.
     "She Who Is Enemy To All Living Things?"
     The corner of her eyelid began twitching. Her hands bunched into fists. 
A sweat drop appeared on Gourry's head.
     "The Dragon Spooker, The Wicked Breastless Girl From--"
     At that moment Lina very nearly made herself a liar; Gourry's reflexes 
were much quicker than his brain, however, and he 
managed to hold the wildly flailing sorceress back.
     "LEMMEATHIMLEMMEATHIMI'LL--"
     "Lina-san, calm down!"
     "--USEHISHEADASAPAPERWEIGHT--"
     "Keep her away! Keep her away from me, I'll do anything!"
     "--ANDGOUGEOUTHISEYESAND--"
     "Lina-san, remember the treasure!"
     "--THENI'LLUSETHEMTOMAKESTEWAND treasure?" Lina blinked twice to a cute 
sound effect, calmed down, then slid out of 
Gourry's arms and grabbed the bandit by the hair. "Okay then! You're gonna 
tell us where you guys hide all your treasure!"
     The bandit righted himself, drew tall, and, being a typical bandit, 
stubbornly refused. Lina, being a typical Lina, threatened to 
tear his body apart and then feed the remains to the local werewolf tribe. 
The frightened bandit, being a typical frightened bandit, 
handed her a key and give her detailed directions to the stash he'd been 
saving for his child's college fund.
     "Arigatou!" Lina said with a wide smile, twirling the key around her 
finger.
     "Can I go now?" the bandit grumbled.
     "Of course not! How are we supposed to hunt you down and tear you apart 
if it turns out you were lying? Running across the 
country in search of a bandit wouldn't work with my image."
     "You have a point," the bandit was forced to admit, and was dragged 
along by the pet swordsman yet again.
     We shall interrupt this scene of hiking for just a brief moment to get 
us all back into the swing of things. Six months have 
passed since Lina and her group saved the world for the nth time, fighting 
off the engulfing insanity of the malevolent Dark Star and 
the tortured but attractive Valgarv who summoned him into their world. The 
group had dispersed after that and out of consideration for 
the reader, we won't get into any spoilers. Suffice to say things are as they 
usually are when a new Slayers season begins; 
unimportant fluff used to start up the setting without a trace of plot in 
sight.
     And indeed, after a quarter of a mile's worth of hiking, the three found 
themselves at a big long expanse of meadow with a few 
trees and flowers and other pretty things. As good a place to rejoin the 
action as any, one would think.
     "That's him," the bandit leader said, thrusting a finger at a tall, 
lanky, eye-patched gangster leaning against a tree. The young 
man was holding a medium-ish pouch and giving the approaching entourage an 
understandably curious look.
     Apparently after a moment he recognized the leader, and waved and called 
to him by the name of "Boss."
     "What you up to?" the lanky one asked. "And who're these guys? They 
don't look like bandit material."
     "Naw, listen, I'm gonna need that loot," the boss said, attempting and 
failing at nonchalance. To be fair, it's difficult to appear 
cool when a swordsman's holding you by the collar and dangling you like a 
puppy.
     "No can do, man. You know that. No one gets it."
     "Listen, pal," Lina said, poking a righteous finger at him. "You better 
give us that pouch there, or there's gonna be some 
serious trouble."
     "I cannot," he proclaimed. "I am the guardian of The Bad Guys' loot! I 
must not stray in guarding it, not even under orders of 
the boss himself!"
     "Then how did you guys expect to spend it?" Lina asked, smacking her 
forehead.
     There was a moment of silence as the bandits pondered over the revealed 
loophole to their plan.
     Lina sighed. "I don't have time for this."
     Gourry blinked, and ducked behind a nearby rock.
     "Huh? What?!" the guardian of the loot asked.
     "Dill Brand!" Lina cried, and the ground beneath the lanky guardian 
bandit exploded in a bright flash of magic. The pouch he'd 
been wearing fell and landed conveniently in the sorceress's hand.
     "Lucky!" Lina smiled, spilling the coins into her open palm. "You can 
put him down now, Gourry."
     "Good luck in your future ventures," the blond-headed swordsman said 
with a smile, obeying.
     "I hope you both rot," the ape-like bandit said with a scowl.
     Gourry nodded twice. "Hai, hai. Obayo!"
     Lina glanced up from counting the gold. "Three hundred, not bad. 
Although I don't know how he expected to put his kid 
through college with it."
     Gourry smiled back, rolling onto his back and looked up at the sky. 
"Maybe he was going to send him to Bandit College."
     "Maybe. Carry on the family tradition." She paused a moment, and glanced 
sidelong at her ever-faithful sidekick. "Notice how 
all life seems to be lately is killing bandits and collecting treasure?" She 
shifted a little, and plunked down beside him. "I wonder if 
our grand days of universe-saving is over."
     Gourry's brows raised, but he kept his eyes on the big expanse of blue. 
"I don't think so. Someone else will try to revive 
another dark spirit, and we'll be called in again."
     Lina smiled, and for some reason felt content. "I'm not so sure I want 
any more hectic adventures. I'm only sixteen and I've 
already saved the world, what? Eight times? That's high by anyone's count."
     Gourry began counting himself, to be of better assistance. Minutes 
ticked by, but he finally sat up and looked over at the 
petite sorceress next to him, and answering eloquently and flawlessly the sum 
of all that was in his head.
     "I'm hungry."
     Lina got to her feet and patted his shoulder a couple times. "The next 
village on the map is known for its foreign restaurants. 
We should able to get there by night."
     Gourry rubbed his hands together, already envisioning the bountiful 
delectable morsels that awaited them. Well, not quite, 
because "envisioning the bountiful delectable morsels" was nowhere in his 
vocabulary. Instead, he "thought about a lot of yummy 
stuff."

     Alas, Gourry was not the only one with these thoughts of food.
     In the dark depths of the nearby lake, a lake dragon sat licking its 
jaws, glancing over and dismissing a school of fish that 
swam just above its head as being too gamey, and a family of lobsters by its 
left hinf foot as being too crunchy.
     This time of day, a lake dragon likes to dine on more simple, refined 
eatery. Something like a complacent manitee or an 
unconcious koala bear. Or a redheaded sorceress and an unintelligient 
swordsman. These kinds of things in general.
     A glimmer of gold caught the lake dragon's attention, and it swerved its 
head to take in the potential dinner.
     So while Gourry was thinking of "a lot of yummy stuff," a lake dragon in 
the mood for a midafternoon snack broke the water's 
surface and reared above he and his feminine companion, jaws gaping and 
glistening, saliva (or maybe just river water, but we'll say 
saliva because it has a much more harrowing effect) running along its 
incisors.
     Lina stared at this giant monster of a thing just long enough to take it 
in for what it was; a quick and unhappy gateway to 
death. "For Nightmares' sake," she grumbled. "Is the author really this 
pressed for fight scenes?"
     The mentally slower but reflexively always-on-top Gourry Gabriev had 
leapt to his feet as well, his hand groping for the handle 
of his sword and slashing the blade before him in a warning arc as the beast 
made to snap at him. It reared its head back in time to 
miss the blow, but not before the swordsman leapt at it, throwing his weight 
into the blow, and shouted "Hikari o!"
     And, in one smoothly captured move that was so impressive it was used in 
all three seasons without being reanimated, he 
cried "Hikari o!", calling into being a saber of pure energy, easily 
vanquishing the enemy.
     Or that's what should have happened. Before Gourry could remember that 
no longer possess the Hikari no Ken, the blade of 
his sword was jarred aside by the tough hide of the dragon's neck. A giant 
claw batted the swordsman aside like such a pesky fly, 
knocking him violently along the ground and into a small pine tree.
     "You're such an idiot," Lina groused.
     "I don't see you helping!" was the only reply Gourry could think, and so 
he settled with it.
     She rolled her eyes.
     "Stand back and watch, kids," Lina advised solemnly, pulling her hands 
together. "One simple spell ought to knock this thing 
down."
     Gourry hurriedly backpedalled out of the line of fire.
     "Source of all power, light which burns beyond crimson..."
     The lake dragon blinked and tilted its head.
     "...let thy power gather in my hand!"
     Its eyes turned to slits, a deep growl resounded in its throat.
     "... FireBALL!"
     The swirling sphere of flames whisked through the air, its searing heat 
promising a horrible demise to all unfortunate enough to 
get in its way.
     ...and it plinked out of existence about five feet from the target in a 
sad, pitiful little whiff of smoke.
     "Ano..." Gourry blinked.
     "Shi-matta!" Lina screeched, and scrambled as far back as she could. 
"Gourry, kill it!"
     "Oi, just a second ago you called me an idiot!"
     Lina flailed. "That was then and this is now! Do it!"
     Not so much upset as confused, Gourry turned back to the lake dragon and 
clutched his sword at his side. The lake dragon 
lunged itself forward, jaws open, seeking to devour this foolish young man. 
This foolish young man was, however, a good deal quicker 
than it had originally surmised.
     Gourry leapt onto the back of the serpent's neck and plunged the blade 
of his sword into its base. The dragon screeched, 
thrashed, and fell to its side as a lifeless corpse. The swordsman hopped 
safely to the ground and turned to face an even worse 
danger. Lina bashed him repeatedly with a rock before he managed to scramble 
away.
     "What did I do?!" he asked, tears streaming comically.
     "How did you learn to kill lake dragons that easily?!"
     "I took notes when we met Ashford. Itai, put that thing down! It's 
sharp!"
     "So why didn't you do that in the first place?"
     "I thought I had my old sword! Your the one with the dud Fireball!"
     Lina paused a moment in her partner-bashing, and in that moment Gourry 
realized he had gone a little too far. He didn't know 
why, of course, but this wasn't due to his lack of intellect; no man ever 
truly understands the complex psyche of a woman. He just 
knows when he needs to back up and apologize like crazy.
     "Gomen, Lina-san. I was just a little surprised to see it fizzle out 
like that."
     Lina hmphed and tossed the rock to the side. He could tell she was still 
trying to be angry at him and decided to make that 
course of action difficult for her.
     "What was the matter with it? The spell, I mean?"
     "I just wasn't in the mood." She sulked a little more.
     "Not in the mood?" Gourry asked. "That doesn't sound like the Lina-san I 
know."
     "Shut up, Gourry," Lina said wearily. "I just want to get to this place 
and eat."
     "Yeah, so do I, but... something's wrong." Gourry stopped and looked at 
her solemnly. "Ne?"
     Lina stopped too. She almost had to smile. He really was a sweet guy, 
even if he was a raging moron. Still, she didn't want to 
talk about it, and told him so with a blow across the head.
     "Itaiii..."
     "Now can we please go?" Lina asked, straightening her tunic and marching 
off. "I want to get to the next village before dark."
     Gourry, peeling himself from the ground, smacked a fist into his palm 
and smiled. "Ah-ha!"
     Lina stopped again with that soft "erk" sound she sometimes makes.
     "I know what's bothering you." He walked up to her and placed a hand on 
her shoulder. She looked up at him with blunt acidity 
which fazed him not at all.
     "Gourry, really..."
     "It's that time of the month again, ne?"
     Gourry pulled himself out of the lake. "I'll take that as a yes."
     "You know I don't like to talk about it!"
     "Hai." He smiled and shook his hair dry. "But I'm confused."
     "Really?" She wasn't surprised.
     "Yeah," he said. "You just took out all those bandits before using your 
general spell arsenal not six hours ago."
     "The... time of the month thing springs at you unexpectedly, Gourry." 
She sighed and patted his shoulder, apparently over her 
little mood swing. "Let's just go eat. Dinner's my treat."
     His attention was promptly diverted. "Really?"
     Lina chuckled, turning and walking along the worn path that would lead 
to the nearest town. "With a life like this, who needs 
adventuring?"
     Gourry smiled. "Hai! Oh, and Lina-san..."
     "Yes?" She looked over at him.
     "I won't tell anyone else about this being your time of the month."
     Had his expression been anything but simple, innocent fondness, she 
would have fed him to whatever other river snakes were 
hanging around. However, it was, and so she turned her gaze back to the road 
ahead and smiled wide. "Arigatou, Gourry."
     The meal that night was the best they'd ever shared.

     He looked over the scene with a quiet frown. He did this in such a 
manner because, well, he was a quiet sort of guy. His cloak 
drawn in around his body and up over the lower half of his face, he cast his 
gaze across the land with the calmness he'd always 
possessed.
     The sun beat down on him in all its midday glory. Birds chittered 
happily in their midday gaity. Fish leapt out of the water, but 
for no apparent reason; it was just one of those visuals that a lot of 
different anime liked to showcase to depict a state of serenity. 
The entire scene was peaceful, including this man in his pale cloak atop the 
mountain in one of those grand 
man-looking-across-a-valley scenes that no one can ever get enough of.
     Below him was a town. The one he was looking for was in there somewhere, 
that he knew. Or at least suspected. The size of 
the town itself was rather small, which had almost thrown him off balance 
when he'd first seen it. Then he'd remembered that really 
important things usually did happen in small recluse towns like this, because 
otherwise, the author had to address a lot of annoying 
issues like why the robust local security force wasn't able to locate the 
cause of all the recent disappearances and such.
     He didn't really sigh, but sort of slumped his shoulders in a pantomime 
of the gesture, and leapt off the cliff. Usually, that 
would be a very stupid thing to do, but the drop wasn't completely sheer, and 
he skirted down most of the length. This was pulled off 
with a lot of dust in the air, but since it was, again, such a small village, 
no one noticed the odd, pale-cloaked newcomer.
     He peered forward, and saw a lot of blue. Irritated, he brushed aside 
his hair and peered again.
     A good number of houses dotted his vision now. A lot of them were of 
regular size, and in regular condition, nothing fancy like 
in Seiruun, but nothing shabby like... um...
     He paused, trying to think of a really shabby place he'd been to 
recently so he could properly complete the analogy. 
Eventually, he figured the slums of Seiruun would do, and took a few cautious 
steps into the parameters of town.
     Passing by a couple houses, peering into a window or two and seeing 
things like little kids playing together, running around 
with their arms out, couples gingerly placing a baby into a crib, and other 
nice-little-town sights, he began to grow a tad restless. 
This was nothing like what he was looking for.
     Ahead, a young girl was walking with a woman who was apparently her 
mother, the both of them pretty and brown-headed. 
The cloaked one paused for a moment, watching them carry on with their 
conversation. Apparently, they were discussing fruit 
baskets.
     Then the girl saw him and opened her eyes moderately wide. The mother 
blinked at the pause in their little chat and joined her 
daughter in her Gaze of Surprise.
     "Ano, Mister..." the little girl started, taking a little-girlish step 
forward. "Who are you?"
     The man looked from her to the mother. A half-second passed as he 
quickly processed this innocent question, and decided 
on his course of action.
     "I'm a tourist," he answered, and did it coolly, because pretty much 
everything he did was cool.
     "What's your name?" the mother asked, coming to stand beside her 
daughter. The both of them were of gentle demeanors, 
and he could tell that unless they were superb actors, they were asking of 
nothing more than simple curiosity and even a bit of 
hospitality.
     Thusly, he presented his true name for them. If you haven't already 
guessed it, then you really shouldn't be allowed to read 
fanfiction, and should be immediately put to sleep so the rest of mankind 
doesn't have to bear witness to your incredible stupidity. 
"Zelgadiss."
     "Zelgadiss?" the pretty woman asked with a smile. "What brings you to 
our village? We haven't had tourists for... well, we've 
never had any, at least not since I moved here."
     "I'm looking for somebody," Zelgadiss answered, also truthfully.
     "Oh? Who is that?" her sweet, full lips asked. "This is a small village, 
everyone knows everyone."
     "I don't know," he said, and that was also the truth.
     The girl tugged his sleeve. "Zelgadiss-san?"
     Zelgadiss looked down at her, the interruption pausing his hand and 
thusly his cool anime-ish psychological plan. "Hai?"
     "Ano... why are you wearing a scarf over half your face?"
     A pause, as he realized a good anime-ish type of psychological 
opportunity.
     "Hold on," he told her amiably, and reached up to remove it. The mother 
dropped her fruitbasket and the girl shrieked in a high, 
shrill octave.
     "That's why," he said with a scowl.
     "MAZOKU!" the girl screamed and raced off with her mother, leaving fruit 
and basket alike.
     Satisfied, Zelgadiss leaned forward and grabbed an apple. Judging by 
that reaction, nothing out of the ordinary had happened 
in this small town. Obviously whoever was at work here was doing it secretly. 
That had been a safe assumption to begin with, but 
now he was sure.
     He turned to make his way back up the mountain to make further plans, 
and do further scouting. He got a total estimated 
amount of zero steps away from the spot he stood before another pretty girl, 
because, really, almost all anime girls are pretty, was 
blocking his way with a length of death-wielding steel.
     "Ano..." Zelgadiss started, startled enough to sound like Gourry.
     "Who are you?" the girl asked sternly, and suddenly Zelgadiss was taken 
aback. She _was_ pretty, her apparent courage 
only adding to the physical beauty she flawlessly possessed. With blue hair 
and a golden sort of circlet on her head, a finely honed 
sword, deep eyes and a stance that screamed of skill with the sword. But she 
was young, just about his age...
     Now, keep in mind Zelgadiss is not one to usually get caught up in a 
woman's looks. Which is what made this revelation that 
he could actually be _attracted_ to someone a pretty startling one, 
especially for him.
     "My name's Zelgadiss," he answered. His voice and posture was still 
coolly calm. Nothing less than expected.
     "Zelgadiss," she repeated, and looked momentarily unsure.
     A second passed, and in that second the chimera's quick brain processed 
it all and stored away the unwanted attraction. The 
girl then looked up and narrowed her eyes.
     "I've heard of you. Are you Mazoku?" Her voice was instantly rigid.
     "Hardly." He reached up and withdrew his hood entirely, so that the 
light played about his spiky and shiny hair to an overall 
awesome effect. "Nor do I know how or when you would have heard of me."
     The girl mused this silently.
     By the time she was done, two others had come huffing and puffing. Both 
of them carried swords, although "carried" wasn't 
really right. They kind of dragged them across the ground, while their bodies 
drenched themselves in perspiration.
     One of them was an old man with a spiral for a haircut. It was very 
disturbing to look at, the way it protruded from his head like 
a cannon, and one kind of had to wonder about the character designer's 
sobriety at the time he thought it up. The other was a 
somewhat dopey looking man with a narrow face and black hair tied up in a 
wild fashion by a bandana. He was probably just slightly 
older than the girl, but the other was pretty much old enough to be her 
father. Both of them heroically tried calling out demands, but 
they were too exhausted to do anything but lean on their swords and pant.
     "Che," Zelgadiss mutterred, and prepared a fireball. None of them looked 
like much of a threat, but he didn't have time to dally.
     Okay, technically he _did_ have time to dally, but he really didn't see 
any point in it.
     The girl's eyes lit up, suddenly. "Do you know Lina Inverse?"
     Zelgadiss pitched over a little. The two other men looked up smartly.
     "Lina...?" the old one asked, and seemed about to ask more, but then 
made a wheezy sound and shut up.
     "Ah... Hai. I do." Zelgadiss recovered smoothly, looking at her in a way 
that, privately, made her do a little shivery number. 
"Why?"
     "You and she had wanted posters up all over the place a bit ago, ne?" 
She smiled, kindly, and lowered her sword.
     Zel didn't find that particularly encouraging. Most people would raising 
their defenses against someone who used to be wanted 
by law.
     "Oh, hai! I remember that!" This from the dopey-looking guy. "A face 
like his is pretty tough to forget!"
     "Why do you seem so cheery about my status as a wanted criminal?" Zel 
asked calmly, after hitting the dopey man over the 
head with his own sword.
     "We know Lina-sama wouldn't do anything bad," the girl put in with 
youthful optimism.
     "And just how," Zelgadiss asked, trying not to laugh, "did you draw that 
conclusion?"
     "Ah, all in it's due time," said the old guy with the cannon hair. "We 
shouldn't be discussing this out here. Join us at our 
cottage."
     "Hai," the girl said, bowing a little to the confused chimera. "Welcome 
to the Village of Biatz."