Hehehehehehehehehehe!!!  People liked my first one!  Yay!  I don't 
want to give away any of the plot, so the (c) info is on the bottom of this 
one (rest assured, it *is* there).  I spaced the wordings apart too, because 
it was very hard to read the first one.
	If you *didn't* read the first part, you might not understand some of 
the references.

-->Princess Hinomura Runa of the House of Jurai Royal Family
   Oujosama to Oyobi!  Call me Princess!
   (LunaHNeko@aol.com & Luna_Hinomura@planetjurai.com)

   OK, maybe just "Luna" will do...  ^_^


Celebrity Deathmatch part 2

	Nick: We're back with more Celebrity Deathmatch.

	Johnny: Just to recap for our viewers who are only now tuning in, we 
just had an exciting match between Pamela Anderson Lee and Naga the White 
Serpent.  Though Pamela was a tough opponent, Naga was the victor.

	Nick: Pamela bent Naga's sword by shooting at it with a gun she'd 
hidden on herself.  However, Naga was able to use this to her advantage -- 
she threw the sword at Pamela, which sliced off her firing arm.

	Johnny: Naga's victory came with knowing the arts of Black Magic, and 
she cast two spells.  The first was Freeze Arrow, (to Nick) but I believe the 
Explosion Array was your favorite part.

	Nick: Uhh...

	Johnny: My, you're looking rather green, Nick.

	Nick: Be quiet!

	Johnny (chuckles): I never knew you had such a weak stomach.

	Nick: Well, this next fight's going to be a real killer!  We've got 
Gourry Gabriev and Cloud Strife, who are both well-known as great swordsmen.  
However, they each want to take out the competition and become the best 
sword-swinging man alive.

	Johnny: That's why we'll call the winner of this match the Wielder of 
the Biggest, Baddest, and Best Sword.

	Nick: Let's play back a video we recorded previously tonight, as 
Cloud and Gourry made their entrance.  Take a look at that hair!

	Johnny: Man, they've got tons of it.  If Cloud's bangs were any 
bigger, they'd be deadly!

	Nick: They'll never be as big as his sword or his ego.

	Johnny: Or his determination to win tonight's match!

	Both: (chuckle).

	Johnny (holding earpiece): I've just been informed that Stacey 
Cornbread is ready and in place to interview our contestants in this fight.

	Stacey: Hello, Nick and Johnny, I'm here with Cloud Strife and his 
friends Tifa Lockheart and Barret Wallace.  So, Cloud, why do you think you 
should be Wielder of the Biggest, Baddest, and Best Sword?

	Cloud: Well, I had to save my planet being completely drained of 
energy by the Mako reactors, and he had to save his world from some Lord 
monster-demon of some sort named Shabranigdo.

	Stacey: And...?

	Cloud (eyes glowing): I was there with the big boss!  I stood there 
and fought bravely, and I actually worked hard!

	Stacey: But Gourry didn't?

	Cloud: That's right.  He couldn't even scratch Shabranigdo.  His 
friend *Lina* had to do it.  A fifteen-year-old sorceress girl!  I can do 
magic with materia, and I can use this sword like a pro.  Beat that!

	Stacey: Well, there you have it, Nick and Johnny, Cloud's vicious 
challenge.  I'm going to go talk to Gourry Gabriev now.  He's in his dressing 
room with friends Amelia Seiruun and Zelgadis Greywers.

	Gourry: Hi, Stacey.  You can just call me Gourry.

	Stacey: So, why did you agree to Cloud's challenge?

	Gourry: Well, actually, I didn't really want to--

	Amelia: Mr. Gourry is a champion of Justice, and Justice always 
prevails!  We must fight the evildoers and never look back!  Regret is for 
the weary of heart, and Mr. Gourry is not weak!

	Stacey: I want to talk to Gourry, not you.

	Amelia: That Mr. Cloud is a horrible man!  Did you see the look of 
evil in his eyes?

	Stacey: Actually, Amelia, that's from being in SOLDIER and being 
exposed to Mako.

	Amelia: No!  You're listening to the evil he's spouting, do not turn 
your face from the true path-- (Zelgadis pulls her back).

	Zelgadis: Don't you ever stop talking, Amelia? (casts a Sleep spell 
on her).

	Gourry: But actually, I didn't want to agree to his challenge.

	Stacey: Is that so?  (to viewers) Uh-oh, it looks like this match is 
turning out to be more than we expected.  (to Gourry) Well, Gourry, can you 
tell us why you're here then?

	Gourry: It's because of Lina.

	Stacey: We've had three contenders tonight talking about this 
sorceress "Lina."  Who exactly is she?

	Gourry: Well, when one of your messengers came to us and expressed 
Cloud's challenge, she didn't even ask my opinion, she just signed me up to 
fight.  And now look: she's not even here!  She said she'd be here!

	Stacey: Will this "Lina" girl show up, and who will win this next 
match?  Back to you, Nick and Johnny.

	Nick: Thanks, Stacey.  Do you know who this "Lina" person is, Johnny?

	Johnny: No clue.  Oh, by the way, during the commercial break, I had 
a chance to go talk to your mother...

	Nick: My mother?

	Johnny: Let's play the tape!

	(Tape starts).

	Johnny: Hell, I'm here with Nick Diamond's mother, Mrs. Diamond.

	Mrs. Diamondopolis: Mrs. Diamondopolis, actually.

	Johnny: Really?  Nick had his last name changed?

	Mrs. Diamondopolis: Oh, yes.  He's always trying to break away from 
me, and his father said I treated him too much like a baby.

	Johnny: How so?

	Mrs. Diamondopolis: Well, I guess I wasn't the greatest mother, 
because I never knew how to take care of him.  In fact, he was still wearing 
diapers in middle school because he didn't want to learn how to be potty 
trained.

	(Crowd laughs & tape ends).

	Johnny: Not potty trained, huh Nick?

	Nick (glaring): That was back in middle school.

	Johnny: Suuuuure.

	Nick (still mad): Well, the fight's about to begin anyway.

	Johnny: There's judge Mills Lane readying the opponents.

	Lane: I want a good, clean fight, you two.  Now since you're 
competing for the title of some big sword crap, I'll let you use weapons, too.

	Gourry: But I really don't want to--

	Lane: Let's get it on!

	Cloud: (yells and dashes in).

	Gourry: (parries Cloud's slash).

	Nick: Gourry sure can move fast! He's light on his feet, but he has 
the strength to hold back Cloud's block!

	Johnny: No, Nick, it looks like Cloud's forcing Gourry back!

	Nick: He's getting close to the turnstile!  His sword's just not 
heavy enough compared to Cloud's!

	Cloud: (puts his sword away with flair).

	Gourry: (puts his sword away too, but without flair) So you don't 
want to fight?  You give up?  A truce?  What?

	Cloud: Hardly.  (grabs Gourry by the hair and pounds his face into 
the turnstile).

	*Pong*

	Gourry: Ow!

	*Pong* *Pong*

	Johnny: Ouch!  Gourry's going to feel that tomorrow!

	*Pong* *Pong*

	Gourry: Aah!

	*Pong*

	Nick: Gourry's not very bright, is he?  (elbowing Johnny) Like 
someone else I know.

	*Pong* *Pong* *Pong*

	Johnny (glares): You're going to pay for that one, Diamond.

	*Pong*

	Gourry: Uhh...

	Amelia (on sidelines): No, Mr. Gourry!  Draw your sword!  Heed not 
the evil acts of the evildoers!

	Cloud: Shut up, kid, that's redundant.

	Zelgadis: It seems Gourry will lose...

	Amelia: No, it's OK!  Miss Lina once told me that Gourry could be hit 
over a hundred times on the head before it would do anything!

	Gourry (pulls out sword): YeeeeaaaAAAAAAAAAH LIGHT COME FORTH!

	Nick: What's that?

	Johnny: Gourry's sword's got more to it than we know!

	Nick: Isn't that a lightsaber?

	Johnny: Shh, we don't want any lawsuits.

	Nick: That's awesome!  I wonder how he ever got a sword like that!

	Johnny: It's working!  This is the first time Gourry's inflicted 
anything on Cloud yet!  However, Cloud has his sword out and is parrying most 
of his strikes.

	Nick: It looks like this fight's taken a turn in Gourry's favor.

	Johnny: It's still too early to tell...  Oh, ouch!  More and more of 
Gourry's strikes are getting through...

	Nick: It's over for Cloud!  Gourry's got this for sure!

	Cloud: You're pretty good...

	Gourry (sweatdrop): Uh, gee, thanks.

	Nick: Finish him!  Get him, Gourry!

	Johnny: Nick, the announcers are supposed to be indifferent.

	Nick: I don't care, I'm rooting for Gourry!

	Johnny: You're an idiot, Nick.

	Cloud (backing up): ...but you're not good enough.

	Nick: What did he say?

	Johnny: Look at Cloud!  He's engulfed in fire!

	Nick: No, Johnny, that's called 'ki'!

	Johnny: What the hell is 'ki'?

	Nick (taunting): Oh, I forgot, you flunked Japanese class...

	Johnny: (glares).

	Nick: Anyway, the Japanese word 'ki' roughly translates to 'battle 
aura,' and a skilled warrior can actually modify and control it.

	Johnny: So what's he doing?

	Tifa (on sidelines): Cloud!  Level Four Limit Break!

	Nick & Johnny: 'Limit break'?

	Cloud: This is called...Ominislash!  (dashes in and yells)

	Johnny: Oh, dear Lord!

	Nick: Holy moly, Cloud's hitting Gourry eight, nine, ten times!

	Johnny: He's not finished yet!  That's eleven, twelve, thirteen, 
fourteen, fifteen times!

	(Gourry falls apart).

	Nick: No!  Gourry lost?!

	Johnny (chuckles): That's what happens when you get overconfident.

	Nick: Cloud's the winner?!  Who's that girl climbing into the ring?

	Johnny: That's Tifa Lockheart, Cloud's girlfriend, I'm guessing.

	Nick (depressed): I was so sure Gourry would win.

	Johnny: Here comes Mills Lane to dub Cloud as Wielder of the Biggest, 
Baddest, and Best Sword.

	Lane: Mr. Cloud Strife, you will know be hailed as the Wielder of the 
Biggest, Baddest, and Best Sword.  What do you have to say?

	Cloud: Well, I'd like to--

	("Whenever sang my words, on the stage, on my own...")

	Nick: Where the heck is that music coming from?

	("Whenever said my words, wishing they would be heard...")

	Johnny: Someone must be backstage!

	("I saw you smiling at me, was it real or just my fantasy?...")

	Nick: Look over there, Johnny!

	("You'd always be there in the corner of this tiny little bar...")

	Johnny: Who's that woman in the blue dress coming down the runway?

	("My last night here for you, same old songs, just once more...")

	Nick: She's walking down towards the ring!  Why doesn't she say 
something?

	("My last night here with you?  Maybe yes, maybe no...")

	Woman (entering the ring): My name is Rinoa Heartilly, and I 
challenge you, Cloud Strife, to protect your title.

	("I kind of liked it your way, how you shyly placed your eyes on 
me...")

	Cloud: You must be kidding!  You can't possibly be one to use a sword.

	("Oh, did you ever know that I had mine on you?")

	Rinoa: No, not me.  I challenge you to fight Squall: Squall Leonheart.

	Barret: Any relation to Tifa Lockheart?

	Squall (entering the ring): None at all.

	Johnny: Where'd he come from?  He must have made his entrance while 
we were too busy watching Rinoa!

	Squall: Well?  Your Sword against my Gunblade.  What will it be?

	Cloud: You're on.

	Nick: How exciting!  Only a few seconds after Cloud has received his 
title, and he's already gotten a challenge!

	Johnny: Well, we'll have to hold it in another match, because this 
show's almost running out of time, and we need to use the remaining moments 
for the third match, which we like to call "Seiyuu vs. Voice Actress."

	Nick: Don't change the channel, 'cause there's going to be more 
Celebrity Deathmatch after this!

	(Cuts to commercial).


Celebrity Deathmatch is (c) MTV animation
Slayers is (c) Hajime Kanzaka, Rui Araizumi / Kadokawa Shoten / TV Tokyo, 
SOFTX
Final Fantasy VII and Final Fantasy VIII are (c) Squaresoft / Eidos
"Eyes On Me" (from Final Fantasy VIII) is by Faye Wong.

(Level 4 Limit Break Omnislash: Cloud launches a flashy, fierce, 15-hit combo 
against all enemies, hitting them at random for moderate to heavy damage 
each.)