Jeanne;

   While I like the premise and find the story very well written, I do
have a few problems with it.  For the most part, your charecterizations
are good, though Sylia, for some reason, seems to ring a little hollow. 
Not being a big fan of Crash! and only having seen it a few times, perhaps
I am simply relying tomuch on the characters I remember from the Crisis
series.  Please do not take the tone of this as an insult, or as overly
harsh.  I fear my style of C&C can be a bit brisk, and I mean no offense. 
Notes:

Leon: He seems way to furious at being assigned to the N-Police.  he
originally came from there, and has worked with them in the past.  You
have him jumping a little overboard (in my opinion) at being assigned
there without giving a good reason for it.  

Nene: Very well done, though she does come off as a bit cocky, and a bit
transparent when it comes to Kusanagi.

Priss: Way to calm.  It almost feels like she is being groomed to become
the next Sylia, a premise I have never liked in fanfics.  Perhaps it is
only personal opinion, but I never saw any possibility of Priss becoming
more like Sylia.  The wedge between them is to great.

Sylia: You have the words right, the way Sylia speaks, but the actions
seem wrong.  Your Sylia seems a bit over expressive for the character I
remember.  I would suggest toning down her smiles and overall emotion.

Lastly, Sylia suspending Nene seems totaly out of character.  As you did
mention in the story, it sounds totaly hypocritical.  I can't really find
Yuri as a threat when she killed him.  I believe that she would have
simply chstised Nene, telling her that she expected more from her, and
leaving it at that.  Laws to Sylia, IMHO, have always been guidelines, not
absolutes.  Yes, Nene killed, and yes, techincally, it was murder. 
However, I seriously doubt that Sylia would condemn her for it.

Daniel