On Wed, 21 Jul 1999, Jusenkyo Guide wrote:

Nihao!

	First of all, this is not my idea; this is the brainchild of my
roommate, friend, and general annoyance, Linchi. But as she doesnt feel
up to writing it, and this idea seemed to work so well, I took it.
Bubblegum Crisis, the real one, not the 2040 crap, is not mine and I
never said it was.

Of course, I hope the 2040 crap isn't yours either...

	No one can imagine the Net. Its impossible, not only does it
not really have a form to imagine but that not form changes from second

Since they're part of the same concept, perhaps you should put a dash to
connect 'not form'?

to second as computers and users log on and off line.

Online and Offline are single words.  Take out the word 'line', though,
since you are online, or log on.

But the form itself, the pure data streams, no one would ever
be able to see unless you happened to be a boomer of course. 

Take out 'of course'.

close to pure code that its uncanny, and have lead to rumors that they

lead = led

Some the information she has pulled out of computers has gone to keep
her team mates safe and the world from being blown up a couple of times.

Teammates is one word.

	The red-haired hacker was at home. Her little apartment not too
far from the ADP tower.

ADP tower?  I'd use the word 'building' or 'HQ'.  AFAIK only Genom's HQ is
referred to as tower.

Code breakers and other tools of the hackers

hacker

It was getting to the point where she
would have to call it quits. Sylias computer had some of the best
security on it, she should know, she helped put it there.

Seperate into two sentences.

	"Ok," she said out loud, "One last try." One the keyboard she
typed on really long shot of a word, Quincey and it worked.

I suggest taking out 'and it worked'.  The next line already indicates
that.

	Hmmmm, this actually seems to be rather complete, but if the
response is good, I know where I want to take this story.

So, what happens when Sylia visits?

Again, please give me C&C or give me Akanes cooking!

Oh, Akane's cooking isn't always that bad...  ^_^

-Natsume Ranma Ranma
-------
The sardines weren't worth the trouble.  A few more shots, then 
Ryoga-san would overheat and explode.  Ducking around a corner, 
I managed to lose him as I entered the ramshackle residence of 
my Anime supplier.

One look at his face and I knew that I was betrayed.  "Tell me."
I insisted.  He refused, so I slammed him against the wall.
"Last chance.  Where can Ranma-Ranma find good fanfics?"
"Try Jason Liao." he whispered, before he slumped to the floor.
I heard the sounds of a door splintering as I left through the 
window, one step ahead of Tendo Heavy Industries...