Anime Death Tournament Interlude #5 (just after Semi-Finals 1
end)(don't worry, no spoilers are in this copy, but once Semi-Finals 1 is
released, I've got another paragraph that WOULD be a spoiler. This is just
something for fans to gnaw on)
By A-kun
The three figures walked down the hall with relative ease. They
wore white cloaks, instead of brown ones, because they had had the
oppurtunity to wash their cloaks before coming to this place.
"Now we have possession of what we need to free our great leader."
Witless Minion #1 said.
"Free him... free him...." Witless Minion #2 drooled.
"You're taking this too seriously, #2." Witless Minion #3 commented.
"I'm getting into character, #3." #2 answered.
"Anyway, we will awaken him so that he may aid us. Even with our
great master, A-kun will prove to be a powerful foe." #1 said.
"And I say he'll be a babbling bafoon... is that spelled right? Aw,
well, as I was saying, I think he'll be too weak to stop us and that we'll
wind up overestimating him." #3 declared.
"It's always better to overestimate your opponent than to
underestimate him. If we get decimated because we've underestimated him,
then we'll be worse off. At least by overestimating him, we'll have greater
resources for later plans." #1 growled.
"Can we just free our stupid, gawd-damn leader before I have to get
Eva 01 on your arses?" #2 asked.
"Fine." #1 and #3 said in unison.
#1 pulled out an American Express Card and approached the room where
their leader was being held. #1 managed to jimmy the lock and pushed it
open, freeing their great leader. Out stepped a brown-haired, blue-eyed
young man whose resembalance to A-kun was uncanny.
"B-KUN IS REBORN!!" the overly-pompous incarnation roared, speaking
in third person so that everyone knew his name.
"That's great, boss, but let's get out of here. TharzZzDunN set the
security for this place and only Kami-sama knows where or what the traps
are." #3 said, turning right into a booby trap.
#3 was not amused to find him/herself in a lacy pink bra. #1, #2
and B-kun chortled briefly before getting caught in similiar booby traps.
The only difference was that the booby traps that the trio got stuck in had
been purchased from Fredrick's of Hollywood rather than Victoria's Secret.
Later, B-kun sat in his great hall, trying to absorb what had
happened. He knew some of the story already, but his confinement had been
so long ago and so thorough that he had forgotten or missed quite a few
details. The TharzZzDunN fellow who had been in charge of guarding B-kun's
room had not existed when B-kun had first been imprisoned.
Luckily, most of his creations hated A-kun enough to want to join
B-kun again. Especialy Orion, Shana and Alleana. His pride and joy.
Managing to get enough of the story to find out that there was a third party
and a fourth party running around, he decided that he had to find a way to
kill A-kun first and in a refreshingly new way.
"Sir, before we go on with the planning session, we have a surprise
for you." Touga Kiryuu announced as he slowly slid towards the nearest
docking pad.
B-kun looked at him.
"And who the hell are you?" B-kun asked.
"I'm from Revolutionary Girl Utena." Touga answered.
"And that is...." B-kun began.
Touga decided to ignore him and continued with his announcement.
"We made a clone of you while you were... away. He's exactly like
you in every conceivable way. Eight times the size." Touga declared as the
clone of B-kun entered the room.
B-kun started in utter horror as the massive clone stared at him
over the skeleton of the cow the clone had just devoured. He looked like
Jaba the Hutt had gone on a weight-GAINING diet.
"I'll call him..." B-kun began as the camera zoomed in on him to get
a close-up, "Fat Bastard."
B-kun raised his ring finger up to his left nostril and his thumb to
his right ear. (Editor's Note: Don't hurt yourself, people.)
"I'm afraid that name is copyrighted." #1 said.
"How about.... Mini-Ted Kennedy?" B-kun inquired.
"Yeah, 'fraid so, boss." #3 answered.
"What name symbolizes true and utter evil? Hmmmm... okay, let's
try.... Adam Sandler." B-kun tried.
"No, lawyers'll kill you." #1 responded.
"What about Mega-Me?" B-kun said.
"We'll have to check on that one, but otherwise, it'll be fine for
now." #2 said.
"Hmm.. perhaps a name that describes a being that manipulates the
stupid masses.... like... oh.... George Lucas." B-kun attempted, then
muttered, "Phantom Menace, my left nut."
"Dad! Mega-Me ate my Tauroses! Then he stuffed them in my locker!"
a young man cried as he stormed into the room, holding the fused skeleton of
a Tauros. He resembled B-kun, but his hair was bright red.
"Who the hell are you?" B-kun asked.
"Well, we weren't sure if we'd be able to rescue you, so we took the
liberty of raising your son." #3 said.
"I think I'd recall if I'd ever had sex." B-kun said.
"But his genetic pattern matches yours perfectly. In fact, there's
only a .0005 deviation on the brainwave scan." #2 said, before muttering to
himself, "Well, when either of you actually shows up."
"Well, there was that one year..." B-kun began.
Suddenly, the Twilight Zone theme began playing.
"Dad?" the young man inquired.
"Nevermind." B-kun said, snapping out of the flashback, before
adding, "You're too young to know about that."
"No, I'm not. In fact, I'm the same age as you." the young man
stated as he began to pull out his driver's license.
"SHHH!" B-kun replied.
"Sir, that's copyrigh-" #1 began.
"Shut up! I'm EEEEEVIL! With a capital EEEEEVIL!" B-kun snapped.
"UUURRRRP!" Mega-Me replied.
"All right, enough out of you, Mega-Me. What's HIS name?" B-kun
asked.
"You just said i-" #3 began.
"I meant my son." B-kun interupted.
"Oh, his name is D-kun." #2 supplied helpfully.
"Thanks, #2." B-kun replied.
Suddenly, another copy of B-kun walked in. His head was shaved bald
and three-fourths of his body was covered in cybernetic upgrades.
"Oh, now who the hell is that?" B-kun demanded.
"Um... that's C-kun. We had just finished with Mega-Me when Touga
saw Robocop, so we decided to make a cybernetic version of you." #3
answered.
"Oh, fer christmas sake! How many damn copies of me do you have
running around?!" B-kun demanded.
The room was silent.
"Dad, D-kun stole my hair gel!" a female version of B-kun said,
bursting into the room, followed by twenty-one more copies, replicas,
mutants, pokemon, and miscellaneous. (Editor's Note: Don't Ask.)
B-kun glared at his witless minions, who were sweatdropping.
"Well, you see.... we actually had a lot of fun making Mega-Me and
C-kun, so we just kept making copies. Then, we started copying other people
and it just sort of got out of hand." #3 answered.
Pika-Thor Odinson was currently nibbling on the drywall, Darth
Azerath was standing in the corner wearing a black suit of body armor,
Sephi-Gavin was cleaning his stupidly long sword, Wolfgang Misato was
hovering nearby Tuxedo Panni, and M. ????? (Lady of
Doowahdiddydiddydumdiddydo) was grinning like an idiot while she floated
from one side of the room to the other (occasionally pushing off on a piece
of furniture in a vain attempt to speed up). V-kun, a very cute mouse that
was maybe an inch and a half tall, transformed into it's 15 foot alternate
form and swallowed D-kun. Then spat him back out as the hair gel tasted
awful.
B-kun looked at his cup of Starbucks coffee. And broke down crying.
Everyone stopped and looked at the crying madman.
"What did I do to deserve a bunch of losers like YOU? Or this awful
coffee?" B-kun asked, pouring out his coffee onto Aoshima's head before
booting the arrogant prick across the room.
As Aoshima's body slammed into the far wall and a loud echoing
crunch was heard, B-kun looked up and smiled. Aoshima collapsed to the
ground, blood splattered against the wall where he created an impact crater.
"Hmmmm, I'm getting a good feeling about all of this again. Let's
take it from the top." B-kun began, before bursting into full evil laughter
(tm) while he raised his ring finger up to his left nostril and his thumb to
his right ear again. (Editor's Note: Again, folks, don't hurt yourselves if
it's harder than it looks.)
Meanwhile, as the cloning chambers were completely unattended, one
of the capsule opened with a spray of mist. A figure stepped out and looked
around. It grabbed the set of clothes that were nearby and walked away,
somehow managing to dress properly as it walked.
Skyler Sands sat on his hotel bed, astounded. The computer actually
had some very good philisophical ideas on how teenagers could revolutionize
the world by going through a series of fencing duels. The first idea
involved a young girl finally coming to realize her true potential by having
two severe emotional breakdowns only to reconstruct herself.
The second was where the same girl constructed a giant
bio-mechanical war-machine... Skyler blinked.
"Skyyyyyyyyyyyylerrrrrrrr!" came a voice that was very familiar, but
it was in a tone that was VERY foreign.
Skyler began to turn. *GLOMP* Skyler noticed three things. First,
there were two soft somethings pressed against his back. Second, those
somethings felt VERY good pressed against his back. Thirdly, he was getting
a nosebleed as he realized what those two soft somethings were.
He turned his head to see Juri purring into his ear. Half of his
mind decided to take a holiday and skipped out on Skyler. The other half
tried to figure out what might've caused Juri's unusual reaction to him.
She spun him around, pushed the laptop computer off Skyler's lap and shoved
the started teen SI onto the bed.
Skyler found himself staring into her beautiful blue eyes, admiring
her red hair and cat ears and finding her tail- Skyler paused. Tail? Red
hair? Blue eyes? CAT EARS?! He took a good look at "Juri". She had the
same hairstyle, was wearing the exact same uniform that the real Juri did
(except the pants had a special hole for her tail) and except for the four
things that set her apart from the real Juri, she looked exactly the same.
"WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON?!" the real Juri demanded from the
doorway, the look from her eyes promising death through slow, painful
torture.
"Hmm?" Cat-Juri inquired.
"I don't know. She just kinda... came in here and... say, what are
you?" Skyler managed to say as half his brain was still on vacation.
"Oh, that's easy. I'm a genetically altered clone of Juri
Arisugawa." the Cat-Juri said, before noticing a ball of string in the
corner and leaping for it.
Skyler and Juri stared at Cat-Juri as the catgirl had the most fun
in her life (up to that point, anyway). Large sweatdrops formed on the
sides of their heads.
"Mr. Sands? Here's your dinner. With three servings of
complimentary pudding." said the bell-boy as he entered.
Then, the bell-boy pulled out a card, "And the airline you'll be
leaving on contacted us to give you this message, 'We are sorry, but as we
will be transporting sheep to Kyoto, and thus you will only be allowed to
bring carry-on luggage with you'. Well, have a good night."
Skyler got the weird feeling that he was going to be fulfilling a
prophecy, but did not remember what it was. (see the opening of Round 3)
????? sat in her room, wondering when Juri was going to come back.
She had said five minutes, but it had been over ten. Not that the pudding
was going anywhere.
"Hotaru?" Setsuna asked.
She had been searching for the senshi of Saturn for about an hour,
but the younger girl was nowhere to be found. Setsuna scratched her head.
Then, she saw Usagi.
"Usagi, have you seen Hotaru?" Setsuna asked.
"No. Have you seen Chibi-Usa?" Usagi inquired.
"No. They must be off playing." Setsuna reasoned.
"Oh, whew! I was worried someone might've captured them and was
going to attempt to unleash the full power of Saturn to annihilate this
planet. That's a load off my mind." Usagi said, returning to her hunt of
the Five Witches.
Setsuna began sweatdropping.
===============================================================================================
Well, one more villainious group has been shown. And he's as
powerful as my character is to boot. Not to mention he's got a freakin'
army of clones, mutants, pokemon, androids and other stuff.
Skyler's little note/prophecy is coming true.
And ????? and Juri have a solid relationship?!
A-kun, signing off.
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