Suggested changes: {Original : Changed}
Sorry for being so late with the nits.  I missed it in the rush.  I'll be
critiquing chapter two later today.
--
Mac :})
----- Original Message -----
From: <Kenjiko2@aol.com>
To: <ffml@fanfic.com>
Sent: Monday, 12 July, 1999 18:42
Subject: [FFML][Ranma/Slayers] Redheads chapter one

"That would look good on you, Ranma," mused Akane, as the two
girls {windowshopped : window-shopped}.

Ranma looked up to see six men in ragged clothing and armor,
holding very large swords, clubs, and things like that {there :}, all of
who were ugly as sin and leering.  Thinking back to the anime, she
realized that the two had just ran into a pack of classic
stereotypical bandits.

Akane leapt {forwards : forward} to put her training under Ranma to good

use.

Ranma did the same, casually critiquing her student while she idly
beat the living daylights out of the bandits.

"Can't we just call the cops like we do with muggers at {hime : home}?"
To Ranma, this seemed too much like being a mugger herself.

"And how do we do that?  We're in the middle of a fantasy world
where the nearest telephone is a five hundred years away at least.
Besides, there's no real police that I remember from {teh : the} series
except in big cities... and we have to have funds."

"I'm not happy about it {: either}, but we have to eat and find a way to

get

home.  And that's going to take money."

Ranma boggled.  "It means all THAT?  INCLUDING the melon?"

What? No Chez Whiz?

What could {: possibly} go wrong?

It had to be said....