Jason Liao wrote:

On Mon, 19 Jul 1999, Michael Ricketts wrote:

The sky grew dark, greying out the land as the two opponents faced
each other across the field of battle. The field in question was
the outer grounds of Furinkan High and the combatants were two that
would take on somewhat of a legendary status in the decades to
follow.

Outer grounds?  You mean the school's -that- big?  Or did you just
mean to say outside.

Maybe the fence is set back from the property line?
 

"Ranma Saotome! Since you insist on hounding the Pig-tailed girl
and Akane Tendou, I, Tatewaki Kunou, shall bring you to Justice!"

Justice should be lowercase.

Not to Kuno. Such Important Concepts must be Capitalized. ;)
 

     Akane started forward, wondering what was wrong. Even if he
was a jerk, it was a martial artist's duty to help the wounded or
weak. Ranma definitely qualified.

Qualified as weak?  The way the sentences are put together, that's
what it sounds like.

That couldn't happen on his watch! No, students
were only supposed to take drugs when the principal was here.

After all, the principal took so many himself that they were already
way over the national average in drug use.  Having anyone else use
them as well would only exacerbate things.

The principal was off campus at that time, in Hawaii.

     "Please?" Putting on a face that would drive a puppy green
with envy, Ranko tried to ham it up.
     Yuka failed to avert her gaze in time.

Heh.

Hmmm. Must be the Kawaii-ken training.

     Nabiki's smile dropped from her face as she whispered to
herself, "Little sister, you really need to learn some control."
Then she turned back to the now eager crowd, "Ok, who wants to know
more?" she began, a look of almost joy springing onto her face.

Almost joy?  What the heck is that?  Either

..a look almost like joy...
..a look of joy almost springing...

would slightly make more sense.

I don't know. Would Slightly make more sense? Or less?

Anyway, here's my suggestion.

...a look that was almost joy...

     Shaking her head slightly, the nurse was about to reply that
she'd tell the location for the reason of the kick,

Ranko would tell the location for the reason...wha?

     "Nay! The foul sorcerer must have thrown his shoe at me! Tis
the only explanation!"

But how would a defeat by any other name make more or less of an
impact on his face?  Unless he thinks that throwing shoes in unmanly,
or something?

Well, if taking off a glove and slapping someone with it is a mere
challenge, a mere shoe must have other connotations...

     The tourist laughed. "[Old boy, you're a little lost if you're
looking for Japan]" He pointed to the north, laughing as he did so.
"[It's few thousand miles that way.]"

Er, if they're in America, than north is certainly in the wrong
direction.

Just a note, 'Uluru' is the alternative (native) name for Ayers Rock...
in Australia.

We've got heaps of weird names to stump Ryouga with; Coonabarabran,
Manangatang, Gringegalgona...

And they're all *real*!

Nabiki wrote carefully in her workbook, following the teacher's
well formed script across the board.

Er...script?  In Japanese?

Romanji? I thought this was a Japanese class.

     Ranko's ankle was whole and unblemished, with not a single
thing remaining to show of the wound that had marred it earlier
that morning.

While I know you didn't intend it this way, it would be funny if
Kuno's work -did- have a healing effect.

Nice ASCII art.

-Natsume Ranma Ranma

Needless to say, this fic and its previous parts are in my 'keep' file.

Chad Walker, cswvna@hotmail.com (main)
cswvna@mail.austasia.net (FFML / alternate)