I pretty much agree with everything Scott said here... just wanna add a
few things.

Akane jumped up, and turned to Ranma.  "I have nothing to--"

Ranma stood before Akane with an apologetic expression on his face,
and his hands clasped behind his back.  "Akane, listen to me.  I'm
sorry about what happened at school earlier." 

This is rather strange for Ranma.  He finds it difficult to apologize
even when he recognizes that he is at fault.  It's a strain to believe
that he would apologize for something he didn't do (or doesn't know
that he did), much less do it so easily.

True. One way in which you could change it would be to have Akane learn
the truth some other way -- perhaps by overhearing Ukyo complaining
about Ranma. Then it would turn the tables and add some tension,
creating a situation where Akane has to work to get *Ranma* to forgive
her.

No, I imagine not. ^_^  It's unusual for Ranma to confide in Ukyou,
though; it happens all the time in fanfics, but I don't think he ever
does, in the manga.  Still, I suppose she could have asked him; he's
dumb enough to answer.

No, he never confided anything in Ukyo; that he did is one of the Fanfic
Cliches From Hell (tm). ^_^ But I think what Lusha meant was that Ranma
was telling Ukyo goodbye, as in he's chosen Akane over her. (I could be
wrong, though.)

That was... fast.

"Ranma...I love you too."

..

That was... fast.

Yes, this is a common problem that new fic writers tend to have:
over-ambitiousness. :) I agree with Scott that the events of this story
aren't enough to take R&A to this level. What's more, with these two you
don't NEED to go as far as a pledge of love to give the reader the warm
fuzzies. Something as simple as a smile can do it, as Takahashi-sama has
shown us so many times.


Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics.html