Chapter 2 � Revenge is a Dish Best Served� in a Pig!

The next morning, Ranma and Akane were walking to school, Ranma striding easily along the fencetops and
Akane walking determinedly beside him on the street, holding P-Chan in the crook of her arm.
�Why�re you bringing Ryoga to school, Akane?� Ranma asked moodily.
�Huh? What�re you talking about?� she replied, blinking.
�Oh yeah, I forgot � it�s P-Chan now, isn�t it?�
�Ranma no baka*! How can you mistake a little black pig like P-Chan for Ryoga?!�
�You�d be surprised�� Ranma muttered darkly, before turning his head towards a secluded alley nearby.
�What�s the matter?� Akane asked, noticing his sudden change of mood.
�Buki?�
�Oh, nothin� I guess � just felt like we were bein� watched or somethin�,� shrugged Ranma, relaxing a
little but still feeling tense.
�Ranma, don�t be ridiculous! Who would want to watch you?� she said, almost laughing.
In the secluded alley, a voice faintly whispered, �Ah, but it�s not you I�m watching��
Another voice cut in, �I�d do it whilst he�s in sight, or it�s even less likely to work.�
�Okay, here goes��
*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*
�Wasn�t that a little� vindictive?�
The first voice�s reply was cut off by the long and pained �BUUUUUUUUKKKIIIIIIIIIIII!!!� P-Chan elicited,
clutching at his leg as he writhed in agony and dropped out of Akane�s grasp.
�P-Chan!!� Akane cried in concern.
�Hey, what�s up with pork-belly?� Ranma asked, droppin off the fence on to the pavement.
�Stop teasing P-Chan Ranma, he�s in a lot of pain � he�s passed out!�
�Jeez, what a wimp. And here I thought he was one tough pig.�
*WHAM*
�What�d you do that for?!� Ranma yelled as Akane�s mallet lifted from his skull.
�I told you to cut it out, you jerk!�
�You kawaiikune* tomboy, it�s just a pig-�
*WHAM*
As Ranma and Akane continued to argue, with an unconscious P-Chan lying nearby, two people watched from
the shadows.
�Cool� it actually worked this time!� grinned Gosunkugi.
�Yeah�� Akari murmured, deep in thought, *That was a lot of fun. I suppose it�ll do for my revenge� but I
really hated seeing my Ryoga-sama in pain � and of course there was that slut Akane Tendo nearby, ready
to fuss over him! If I got her out of the way, then Ryoga-sama would have no-one else to love him, he�d
be all mine�* a small, wicked smile crept across Akari�s face, and as Gosunkugi looked into her eyes he
noticed a tiny, evil glint in them that had not been there before.
�Umm.. Akari? Are you� feeling okay?� he asked haltingly.
�Bwee?� added Katsunshiki, coming out from behind some trashcans.
�Oh yes, I�m feeling very okay, thank you for asking,� Akari grinned at him for amoment, like a snake
mesmerising it�s prey � then an innocent look flickered onto her face. �Would it be okay if I laughed
maniacly right now?� she asked sweetly.
�Uh.. sure..�
�Thanks,� she smiled innocently, before the evil came flooding back onto her face.
�BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!� she cackled. Lightning struck from out of the clear blue sky behind Akari, and
in the street a cold shiver went up everyone�s spines.
Katsunshiki, feeling a little left out, decided to join his mistress�s laughter with his own, �Bweehaha!�
but stopped when both Akari and Gosunkugi gave him a Look. �Bwee,� he said apologetically.

Later that day, Akari sat in her room at home. Katsunshiki was training with the other sumo pigs, and her
parents were on holiday. On the slightly weathered desk in front of her lay the Arcana, currently closed
tight, its battered cover revealing no trace of the dark secrets contained within. Slowly, almost
reverently, Akari leaned forward and lifted the cover, the musty yellow pages falling open on a page near
the centre of the book. The title of the page read �Blood Spells� in faded red ink, resemblant of dried
blood. Akari scanned the page with eager eyes.
��Blood spells are most commonly used for revenge. Although the process is basic, it requires a great
deal of skill and concentration, resulting in highly satisfactory effects. When dealing with unusually
resistant victims, it is advised to use the personal familiar variation.�,� Akari read under her gentl
breath, �I wonder why it�s written like a self help book?� she mused momentarily, before continuing to
read. ��Recommended subjects for a first try are animals, preferably domesticated for a higher level of
obediance.� Hmmmm...�
In the training room, a shiver ran down Katsunshiki�s spine as Akari called one of the other sumo pigs in
an unfamiliar tone. Her voice was as sweet as usual, but there seemed to be a cold edge to it. Then
again, maybe he was just being paranoid. Yeah right, and he could fly.

In the Nekohanten*, Cologne jerked as she noticed a ripple in the spiritual fabric of the world.
�Great-grandmother, what wrong?� Shampoo asked.
�Someone� is casting a blood spell�� Cologne muttered ominously.
�Aiya! They stupid someone!� gasped Shampoo.
�Indeed,� nodded Cologne, glancing at the nearby Mousse, whose face had darkened at the mention of the
blood spell. All too soon, his skills would be needed.

Outside the Unryuu residence, Gosunkugi coughed nervously as he raised his hand to knock quietly on the
front door.
Then he heard the chanting.
The sound of it sent a cold shiver down his spine, turning the blood in his veins to ice-water. Frozen
with shock, he listened numbly as the exotic incantations washed over him in Akari�s husky, lilting
tones. Vaguely, he noticed the distressed squealing of a pig, which abruptly cut off, and with a shudder
he realised exactly what type of spell she was casting.
�N-no�� he breathed, his voice little more than a whisper on the cool night breeze.
Akari�s tiny chuckle seeped out her window into the night, filling Gosunkugi with dread. �Now, my pet, go
forth and kill my enemy!� as Akari spoke these words, a red blur burst out of her window and sped away
into the night with oddly liquid movements. Gosunkugi stood frozen as the silvery splinters of glass
rained down around him, listening in shock to Akari�s crazed laughter flooding out into the darkened
streets. �PREPARE TO DIE AKANE TENDO!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!�

Glossary

Ranma no baka - Ranma you idiot/jerk/fool etc.
Kawaiikune - uncute
Nekohanten - Cat Cafe

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Member 30 of SSoAGMA, Deadly Everyday Object Weaponary Technique, Dragon Warrior Style
Mousse no miku; Generally dangerous English otaku; Supporter of cliched pairs;
Member of the Chan club; WoS; SCG; COURT; SOotCiP;CotMHW - Launderer of the Robes of Death;
Head Castrator of the Hotnit Feminisation Project; Keeper of the Moneybags for the Hotnit Fan Club;
4th Gen. EOE; Image Consultant For "That Guy"; #WASHU#;AKPReSS, Gen. Div.; SLAP;
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Coming soon to list near you.. the legendary 50 foot sig of Team Chan !