Ranma - A thread for each
^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^

I am sorry to say that to this day.
The likes of me will never be found.
For I am unique, not a tramp or a sheik.
Yeah, to most I'm really a freak.

If I could hide or be somewhere else
would my troubles be happy or in disstress.
Wish I wasn't here, wish I wasn't there.
Quite frankly, I wish I wasn't anywhere

^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
-Hissss!

The gray blur grew until it was the size of a large man. Genma stopped
moving in an instant and faced towards the viewer. Slowly he went down on
all fours and crept closer.

-Miaou. He exclaimed and leapt.

*Splosh*

Everything became covered in water. A panda swam by, using two sign that
said Ranma and Ukyou respectively. As the water receded, the pit of cats
returned, this time with Ukyou in the middle. The difference between her and
the two previous was that she wasn't bound at all. She didn't even have any
food on her. Though she firmly reeked of halibut.

-Remember Ukyou! Don't move or you'll go the same path as Ranma!
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
--

Black thing had chosen a great spot. It was truly magnificent. It was as a
matter of fact a tree in the Saotome garden. He had previously chased a cat
up into the leafwork of it and had decided that he should relieve himself
right there.

-Miaou?

The cat looked at him questioningly. (Is it asking to come down?)

-Miiiiaaou?

Black Thing crossed his eyes in an effort to think. (It's ASKING me if it
can come down?)

-Bwoff. He conceded. He nodded his head sideways and backed two steps.
(Maybe I can chase it again if it comes down. It's not like I'm defending
this place anyway. Pops was always talking about defending your territory
from other dogs and cats. "Other dogs are a pests and cats are too and the
only way for them to get worse is if they could fly" He seriously doubted
that that would ever happen though. )

Suddenly there was a noise from up above.

-MMMMiiiiaaaaaoooooouuuuuu!!!!!!

It wasn't as close as the top of the tree. It was much higher. About as high
up as the clouds in fact. (What by the bones in my great granddaddy�s yard
is THAT!)

At a crash collision course with the house was a huge red spiky thingy.
(It's, it's, it's a huge red porcupine that meows!) Black thing stared in
horror for a moment and then ran off as fast as he could. (Every dog for
themselves, the cats can fly and they're out for revenge!)

--

-Where is that book? Everything is such a mess in here.

Kasumi was flying around her room, sticking her head in all the drawers.
Nothing was out of place really, so there wasn't even a mess to speak of by
normal standards. To Kasumi however, who could feel every dust particle in
the air as she passed through it, everything was very filthy.

-I know I borrowed a book about ghosts from Dr Tofu.

She had borrowed a book about ghosts once. Unfortunately she had returned it
already. The book wouldn't have done her much good anyway since it only
spoke of what ghosts tended to do and how to appease them or make them go
away. Not a word of how they did what they did or where they went
afterwards.

-Oh my, it must be at the clinic.

Kasumi stopped searching before she had looked through all her books. At the
bottom of her drawer, below the "Young martial artists in your household?
How to make it work" was a book with the title "Ki, the physique of the
soul".

--

*Tchklump*
-Hahahahahaha
*Tchklump*
-HAHAHAHHAHAHA!
*Tchklump*
-STOP, PLEASE STOP! HAHAHA.
*--*

Behind the laughing bundle of moving tentacles there was a large clump of
flesh. Suddenly the tentacles stopped moving. A little bit later the laughs
stopped as well.

-What's happening? Did it die?

Then the tentacles lifted the form in the bundle and put them inside the red
clump of meat. Soon after a great sucking sound was heard.

--

-MIIIIIAAAOOUUU!!!

Nodoka frowned. Ryo-chan glanced worriedly at both the girls. Ukyou growled.
Ranma... Ranma looked happy.

-Hayai? She asked drowsily.

-I'll take care of it. Ukyou said as she strode towards the door.

-NO! I'll do it.
The other three looked strangely at her.

-But Ranko dear, that's a cat.

Ranma looked at her mother with a serene and rather vacant gaze.
-No mom. Hayai's a cabbit.

Ukyou just stomped out without a word. From outside you could hear terrified
barking and later, nothing at all.

--

-There is no more water in this house. The parrot announced as he flew up to
Nabiki. Who was staring helplessly at Hurricane Akane as she went through
the kitchen.

-We're doomed!

-Hello! I've cut off the water for you! Is anybody in there?
The parrot purched on her shoulder and waved a wing in front of her face.
-Wakey, wakey.
He removed his wing.
-Light on!
He put it back in front off her face.
-Light off!
He removed it again.
-Lights on!
And put it back.
-Lights off!
Again he removed it.
-Light on!

-Dooomed!

He arched his body to look her straight in the eyes and frowned. (As much as
a parrot can frown)
-Nope, the lights are still off. How to wake someone from shock? Perhaps...
Hey, ugly-legs. Are you alive in there?

*Schmack*

-Yup, definetly alive. *Cough, cough, cough*
He said as he slowly slid down the wall.

--

Steam rose from the food as Nodoka put it on the table.
-Ranko, could you bring in Ukyou?

-Sure thing mom. The redhead answered from outside the door.

-What have I told you a bout language Ranko? She screamed after the girl.
(It's amazing how quickly she recovered this time. It's almost like it
didn't happen at all. As soon as she said that word, what was it, "Hai-i"? I
must remember it. I wonder if something like that can work for Ukyou?)

She checked that the plates and the eating pins* were where they should be.
All five, including Rankos that had been used, were beside the plates.
Nodoka sighed and looked longingly out the window. (I wonder when dearest
will be home with Ranma?) Suddenly she scowled. (He better not have done
anything more to Ranma than he did to Ranko. It's bad enough with the
neko-ken)

--
*Those things that look like enlarged toothpicks.
--

(Idiot) Thought the shaggy animal beside Nabiki. It looked at the kitchen
for a while in astonishment. (I wonder if I need to pay for any of it? It
seems like that strange girl is wrecking things even more than I did? I
better make sure that Mr. Wiseguy over by the wall explains to them about
their curses. It wouldn't be fair otherwise. We'd be no better than those
two idiots at jusenkyo. Besides they might tell us were those two are)

It walked over to the parrot and lifted it by it's tailfeathers. (If I'm
right there should be hot water left in the furo)

--

-A pinch of soda there, a spoonfull of oil here, one crushed tomato and
three scoops of chocolate ice cream.

Akane worked like a maniac at the dish. In fact some would say that she was
a maniac when she cooked. Her father was one. Though he would only do so
when he was sure that she couldn't hear.

Normally she didn't bother preparing in any manner. But this time she had an
apron on. With her normal schooldress beneath it of course. The ingredients
that she had intended to use were spread out on the floor around the stove.

They were on the floor because the kitchen had been destroyed. Very
thoroughly. A hurricane could very well have passed through and nobody would
have noticed. Well, things would have been placed differently but that would
have been it.

Speaking of hurricanes, Akane whirled around in the tight space she had
created as if she was one herself.

-Two spoonfuls of vermilion housepaint to give it color...
(Ouch! I'm out'a here)

--

-What a sloppy job.
Cologne jumped to and fro in the small room, opening and closing the
cupboards that lined the walls. Sometimes taking things and putting them
beside Shampoo who was lying on a futon in the corner.

-It's pathetic really.
She bounded over to Shampoo and checked her wound again.
-Hmm. Which one now?
Cologne's eyes wandered over the bottles and herbs she'd collected. She
picked up a transparent plastic bottle with a cerulean sludge in it and a
bowl holding cleargreen water.
-The blue? Or the green?

*Snort*
-Both will work just fine.
Cologne splashed the green an arms-length over the wound and began rubbing
it in carefully. Then she held the transparent flask upside down over the
wound for a few seconds. She shook it angrily before she pushed a long spoon
into it.

-Come out you...

The sludge dodged the spoon expertly but when she shook the flask over the
wound the second time, it fell out. As soon as it hit the wound it filled it
up precisely, not a drop got left outside.

-There! That should do it.
She waited for a while and looked on slightly disturbed as it turned a
viridian kind of green. (That's not the right way for it to react is it?
Well, as long as it doesn't turn a perfect turquoise)

--

-I think I'm going to be sick.
Nabiki stormed out of the kitchen in a hurry. She rushed to the toilet and
relieved herself as quickly as she could. (In whichever way you want, "the
customer is always right" I'm told) Which is why she didn't notice a tall
gaijin going in after her, closing the door after himself.

He wore a pair of mirror-shades which made him look very dangerous, an odd
watch and a towel. The towel was tied around his waist and was the only
thing he had on that could be called clothing. As mentioned before he walked
into a toilet where Nabiki already was.

Do we really need to hear it?
Yes we do!

Wait for it...


-Aaaaaaaa...

--

-...nother one of Shampoos rejections. I'll get killed if we keep this up.
There has to be a way of making her realize just how much I love her.*

Mouse was walking to and fro' in the Nekohantens attic. Flapping his wings
to emphasize certain sentences. He walked a straight line from one wall to
the next.

-This won't work it's too stuffy in here I have to get out.**

He hopped down the stairs and waddled to the window. Amazing though it was,
he made it out without walking into a single wall.

He jumped up in flight and began circling upwards. (Shampoo is sleeping in
the basement, soon Cologne will take her back to the village and I will have
to take care of the shop. I wonder what they're doing at that ceremony
anyway? Probably having a party or an orgy. A really bi... bi...) Mousse
lost speed and height as his wings started to overload from ecchi thoughts.

Suddenly he was hit by a huge red and spiky thingy.

--
*This ducktalk is translated for your benefit. The real sentence went like
this:
-...ack quack, QUUUack. Quaaaack quack! Quack quack-quack quack quack.
*Quack! Quuee, quack-quack.
--

(It just disappeared!) Ukyou looked around shakily. (It might have landed or
something) She bit her lip. (This is too much. Just when I break down an
begin to cry Mousse acts like a madman and kidnaps me. That's not like him.
He hasn't ever kidnapped me before)

-Aaaaaaaa...
*Plopp*

She sat down beside a pond. Although collapsed would be a better word. (I
should never have fooled around with that mirror. I wouldn't be a bitch,
Ranma wouldn't insult me or taunt me the way he did when we kids, like he
does with Ryouga and Akane...)

Her reflection in the water wore a puzzled frown. It shattered as an
unconscious duck floated over it. (The way he does with Akane...)

-Uchan!
(Akane... had she...)

-Foodtime!
(Had she..)

-Come along Uchan I'm hungry.
(Had Akane *OOFF*)
-HUH?

Ukyou found herself being dragged inside by Ranma. The table was already set
and her stomach growled in response to the smells coming from it. (FOOD)

--
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
(Where am I)  Shampoo raised her arm to shield her eyes from the sun. (This
doesn't look like home) She was standing on a sea of inch-high grass
stretching from one horizon to the other.

-Miaou!

She jumped a foot into the air when she heard the cat. (What? Where?) It
rubbed against her legs and strutted to about a meter in front of her.

-Miaou!
It said empathetically.

Shampoo just stared at it. (It looks like me. With sea-green hair) The cat's
tail was whapping from side to side. Suddenly it tapped its left foot on the
ground. In response, an orange pole spiraled up from the ground.

On it's side was a spiral of rungs that had started from the top. The cat
climbed up to her present eyelevel and began whapping its tail again.
(I should follow it)

Shampoo walked up the orange pole-stair and was mildly surprised by how
quickly she got to the top. She stepped on the floating round plate and let
it drift of towards a small floating bundle of clothes colored the same way
as the cat.

-Disturb my meditation child.
The bundle said said.
-Disturb me and we all plunge to our depths.

Shampoo didn't utter a sound. After an hour in total stillness the cat came
floating by on a glowing ball, it started to yowl very annoyingly. Shampoo
jumped out, grabbed the cat, bounced on the ball and landed on her plate
again

She covered it's mouth and shushed it quietly. The silence that followed
surpressed all her doubts that the monk (she was sure that that's what he
was) hadn't lost his concentration.

-VERY GOOD CHILD!

Shampoo jumped twice her full body length. She took deep breaths and glared
at the old man sitting beside her. He had a wide grin plastered on his face.
She smiled back weakly.

-Old man not mind telling Shampoo what going on?

The old man frowned. He looked her over appraisingly. Feeling her hair and
petting her silk-clothes. She hit him over the head when he tried to feel
her breasts. In response he snapped his fingers and suddenly she was totally
naked.

She held her head high but didn't try to cover herself. (The moment he
touches me he'll be in range) The old man nodded at this. He glanced at the
cat once and snapped his fingers, letting her clothes reappear.

-I like you but that accent's got to go.

-What do you mean "you like me"? I'm not being sold on an auction here am I?
Shampoo looked around surreptitiously.

-Very good. Tell me something though. That purple color isn't natural is it?
This won't work if it's your natural color.

-That's none of your business you old Happosai-clone.

-Oh deary me. What language. It's time for you to go I think. Tell little
Cologne I said hello.

Shampoo didn't have time to react before she felt herself falling. (Great,
I'm going to become red artwork on the plain)
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

-Shampoo?

-Where, where am I?

--

Old books lined the wall and there was a dusty feel to the air. Some new
ones where crammed in here and there though and you could tell that the
floor had just been swept. Doctor Tofus personal library was nothing to
cough at. Especially not when doctor Tofu was in there reading a book.

He sat down on his small studytable and opened the book carefully. Not that
the book looked old really but nobody would be surprised if it turned to
dust at a pust of wind the way the doctor was treating it.

*Knock, knock*

Tofu looked up from his book. He twitched his nose, making his glasses move
down so that he could peer over them. He stretched his lips slightly and
raised his eyebrow. In his minds eye he now had an expression of amusement
while being disturbed.

The fact was that he was slightly off, his glasses were resting on the very
tip of his nose as if they had already fallen off but just didn't want to
fall and the grin that he had trained on for so long looked very strained.
The end result was a goofy version of a menacing smirk.

-Can I come in?

Tofu was about to respond when he saw a hand moving through the door,
pressing against it from the inside. His eyes followed the rest of the arm
intently as it emerged from the door. Kaumis head came through a moment
later.

-H -h -hi Kasumi! Fancy meeting you here.

-Hello doctor Tofu.

Tofu slammed the book together and stood stiff at her presence. His face
reddened and the steam coming from him began to fog his glasses.

-Doctor Tofu, I... I... TOFU!!

Kasumi screamed tearfully and threw herself at Tofu who moved to embrace
her. He wasn't too far gone yet. As he noticed that she wasn't clutching him
or sobbing into his chest. He looked around jerkily, trying to figure out
where she had gone, thinking perhaps that she had been an hallucination.

*Sob, sob*

He turned around to look in the direction of the noise and locked up. Kasumi
was stuck midway in the table. Her arms and her head where resting on it and
her chest was bobbing up and down through it. It looked like a hole had been
carved out and she had been left to die.

-I'm a ghost Tofu! I can walk though walls.

-There, there.

Tofu tried to place his hand on her head, reassuringly. Instead it fell
though, landing on the table, somewhere inside here bosom.

*Twit, twit*
-Whoppee.

Tofu jumped around in the little room and suddenly crashed through the door.

-*Sniff* Silly Tofu.

--

The clump of meat jumped down below the walkway again, leaving an irritated
and very wet girl behind.

-Great I've got tentacle slobber all over me. At least that green goo is
gone.

The girl looked in both directions of the walkway.

-Which way is back? Oh well.

She began walking. From the looks of things, she'll be doing it for a long
while.

--

-It's time! It's time! It's time!

In two steps he was down the stairs. He ran to the dining room where the
divine smells that threatened to disrupt his concentration where coming
from.

-Grab my hand quickly!

-Huh?
-What?
*Glurp*

He tossed the amulet into her hands and grabbed her arm tightly.
-Now! He screamed as the room was covered in a white light.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
--

              ---
  Can you see the red thread,
  the yellow or the blue?

  Can you see the green one
  in-between the two?

  Take a look at all of it.
  Can you see it too?

  It all forms a tapestry.
  A tapestry for you

              <Dewin Duvae>
              ---
Authors notes:
And to finish the ay I'll write a whole chapter without suddend changes in
pov. (That in itself will delay the chapter fo a looooong time)

This particular one was though to write. Some scenes just wouldn't play out
the way I wanted them to. For instance, Kasumis scene with Tofu took ten
times until I got it right and Ranma still hasn't used the brew from Cologne
(I know what it does now, he he) Also I wanted to check up on every
character that was awake and, I kept remembering more and more of them.

-Aha, I've got you now green boy!
Get off me Tsubasa.
-Uhuh, I'm taking you to Nabiki.
I'm the one writing, do you want her to respond kindly to you or not.
-Uhrm, forgive and forget right?
Whatever, just lay still so I can continue typing.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
None of these characters belong to me. With the exception for Hayai, Black
thing, Iruka, Chiryu, Dorillian, Ikyo, Ryougas sister, the parrot, the
aqua-werewolf, Yellow, Orange, Purple, Blue, Turqoise, Green, Brown, White,
Gray and Black. All others belong to Takahashi, I've just borrowed them for,
"a while".

If you want to read more of this look up:
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Corridor/9118/index.html
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I'm finished. I only have one question.
-What?
Where did you hide my real keyboard you little freak!
-HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELghrrrgll

duvae@hotmail.com/duvae@swipnet.se
(Now I know how Ukyou feels)