For those intersted previous parts of this story can be found at
http://members.xoom.com/Yoshiro_san/cwires.  My thanks to David Johnston
and Hiroyuki Yoshiro for prereading.  All comments are welcome. Now, on
to the story. 

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or any of the ideas associated with
it.  Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan, Inc do.  Rights in North  America
belong to Viz Communications
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 5:

     "Ucchan, be reasonable!"  Ranma reluctantly moved out of the way as
Ukyo carried another pile of clothing out of his closet.

     "Not a chance.  Until you tell me why that psychopath wants to kill
me, I'm not giving her another chance."

     Ranma shifted uneasily, as he watched Ukyo stuff another piece of
clothing into the box.  "I already told you, I don't remember.  You
can't just spend all your time as a girl until Kiyomi leaves."

     "Why not?"  Ukyo's seemingly sincere question halted Ranma
momentarily.

     "Because, everyone will think I'm some kind of pervert."  Ranma
folded his arms triumphantly, as if that settled the issue.

     "Everyone already does.  Besides, I'm the one that they'll think is
a pervert.  As long as you're Ryoga it's not your problem."  Seeing that
Ranma was unconvinced, Ukyo sighed and elaborated.  "I'm just not good
enough without my spatula to fight her.  If I try people will know that
something's up.  This is just until I can figure something else out."

     "That still doesn't give you the right to take all my clothes."

     "It's not like you can wear them now.  Say, Ranchan why do you-"

     "My mom bought them and Nabiki picked them out," Ranma said
shortly.

     "Oh.  I just wondered because they didn't really seem to be your
style."

=================

     Ryoga would never admit it to anyone, but she actually missed
getting lost, at least a little bit.  Even before the body switch, Ryoga
had managed to stay at the Tendos' for several weeks and it was an
unfamiliar feeling.  That was why, after the fiasco with Kiyomi, Ryoga
found herself wandering aimlessly through the streets of Nerima.

     "Ukyo, I've found you."

     Ryoga continued walking for a moment, until she realized that the
voice was probably referring to her.  Looking carefully around, Ryoga
didn't see anyone nearby.  The voice did sound familiar though.
"Tsubasa?" Ryoga called uncertainly.

     "I'm over here."  Ryoga jumped as Tsubasa's head emerged from a
nearby mailbox.  "I've got the statue."

     "That's great!  Give it to me."

     "In a minute.  Is Saturday all right for our date?"

     "Yes," Ryoga said through gritted teeth.

     "Fine.  I'll pick you up at seven."  With a feminine giggle,
Tsubasa allowed Ryoga to snatch up the crudely carved statue.

      With a grim smile, Ryoga watched the mailbox move away from her.
All she had to do was get back to the Tendo's and then Ukyo could worry
about dating Tsubasa.  As she turned  confidently to stride off, one
thought penetrated Ryoga's mind.  "Where on earth am I now?"

===================

     Ryoga stumbled slightly, as she landed from the leap to the Tendos'
roof.  She could understand the attraction the location had for someone
wishing to brood.  After all, she'd done it herself.  "Ranma, I met
Tsubasa and I have the statue.  Is Ukyo still here?"

     "Nah.  She left hours ago.  Where have you been Ryoga?"

     "Just walking."  If Ryoga's answer was lacking in detail, she gave
no sign of elaborating."

     " I suppose you're happy that you don't have to worry about getting
lost anymore.  Nobody will let me go anywhere now."

     Ryoga chuckled nervously.  "That's right.  I don't have to worry
about getting lot anymore."

      "Anyway, we can head over to Ucchan's after supper and get
everything straightened out then.  Enjoy having a sense of direction
while you can."

==================

     Business had been slow that night, so Ukyo was surprised when the
door swung open just before closing and two familiar faces entered.

     "Ranchan, Ryoga what are you doing here?"

     "We're ready to switch back."  With a triumphant grin, Ranma
produced the statue.

     "You've got it?  How did you manage that?"

     "Never mind.  I'll tell you later."  Ryoga had already decided that
immediately after the switch would be a very good time to catch up on
being lost.  Ukyo had always been a bit violent and the two of them
hadn't been getting along well lately.

     "What are you waiting  for then."  Ukyo moved to stand closer to
Ryoga on the theory that proximity would make her more likely to wind up
in the correct body.

     "Nothing I guess.  Anything Goes Secret Technique: Ghostly Spirit
Switch!"  Ranma watched the statue in his hand intently as it emitted
several bright pink sparks that fell quietly to the ground.

     "That's it?  Are you sure that you did it right?"

     Ryoga's response was less temperate.  "Give me that!"  Suiting
actions to words, he snatched the statue from Ranma's hands.  "Come on.
Switch us back!"   Several more sparks fell from the statue tending more
towards purple this time.  "I said switch us back!"  Out of frustration,
Ryoga began to shake the figurine vigorously.

     "Take it easy, Ryoga.  If you break that we're stuck."  Ranma
grabbed the statue and tried to pull it out of Ryoga's grip.

     "That's easy for you to say.  You don't have to date Tsubasa."
Ryoga twisted the statue, trying to compensate for the superior strength
of her original body.

     "Excuse me.  What did you just say?"

     Ryoga released her grip and with a sickly grin pasted to her face,
began to back away from Ukyo.  "Oh nothing.  It's all Ranma's fault
anyway."  Backing into the door, Ryoga began fumbling for the knob.
"I'd better be going now.  Bye!"  The sound of a slamming door puncuated
Ryoga's last words.

     "Not so fast, Ranchan."  Moving quickly, Ukyo cut off Ranma's path
of retreat as he tried to follow Ryoga.  "One of you is going to
explain."

     Ranma shrugged, trying hard to look innocent.  "There isn't much to
tell.  We had a bit of trouble finding the statue, so Ryoga made a
bargain to get Tsubasa's help."

     "I suppose the two of you planned for me to go on a date with
Tsubasa after we switched back," Ukyo said, anger tingeing her voice.

     "Well, yes.  You're not mad or anything are you?"  Ranma began
trying to edge around Ukyo and reach the door.

     "Not really.  I suppose I should be, but I want to get my own body
back as well and I'm beginning to expect things like this."  

     "Right.  Then I'd better be going."  Ranma paused at the door
uncertainly.  "Do you think you could walk me back to the Tendos',
Ucchan?"

     "Not right now.  I have to get things cleaned up here.  Why don't
you just stay here for the night?"

     "I guess that'll be all right.  Nobody could think that there was
anything going on between the two of us now."

     Ukyo looked vaguely unsatisfied at that answer, but didn't
protest.  Instead she motioned for Ranma to grab a cloth and start
helping her wipe the tables down.

==================

     Meanwhile, at another restaurant, far more frenetic activities were
taking place.

     "Where stupid statue?" Shampoo shouted.  She added emphasis to her
question by hurling a heavy glass into the far wall.  The sound of
breaking glass did little to ease her mind.  She'd already searched the
Nekohanten, even looking in places she'd known couldn't hide it.  There
was only one conclusion.  She'd allowed an ancient amazon treasure to be
stolen and as a result her airens would remain trapped in the wrong
bodies.

     After pausing to consider the matter, Shampoo came to a decision.
She'd have to recover the artifact without telling anyone of its loss.
Fortunately, she had an idea of where to start looking.  "Happosai, I
find."

==================

     Ranma glance unhappily over at Ukyo.  Walking to school together
was necessary, if Ranma ever intended to arrive.  However, Ukyo seemed
far too enthusiastic about the whole idea.  The fact that she was
wearing a girl's uniform today didn't help.

     "Watch where you're going."  Noticing Ranma's distraction, Ukyo
grabbed hold of his hand and pulled him back on course.

     "Did you have to wear that?  I'm sure that Kiyomi won't be at
Furinkan, so you could switch back once you got inside."

     "You'd lose that bet.  Look who's up there leaning against the
school gates."

     Ranma squinted slightly and caught sight of a metallic sparkle
resting at the end of a long staff.  Suppressing a groan he switched his
focus to the figure beside it.  "I don't believe it.  Say, could you let
go of my hand.  People are beginning to notice."

     Ukyo took a few moments to make the needed mental conversions.  She
was walking to school with Ranma and holding his hand.  With the recent
switches, other people would see Ranma and Ryoga walking to school
together holding hands.  Ukyo released her hold and stepped away
slightly.  "Sorry.  I wasn't thinking."

     The two walked through the school gates, nodding politely to Kiyomi
as they passed her.  As a result, they missed the speculation that arose
when Ryoga and Akane arrived together moments later."

==================

     Akane scowled angrily.  Today hadn't been a good day for her.  It
had started off with Ranma and Ukyo walking to school together.
Then there had been those looks that the other girls had been giving her
all day. Eventually Sayuri had admitted they were wondering about her
and Ukyo.  Akane had reassured her that there was nothing between the
two of them, all the while aware that she was bending the truth
slightly.  She was fairly sure that Ryoga did like her, and Ryoga was
Ukyo right now.  That chain of thought really wasn't comfortable to
think about.

     The immediate cause of her frustration was more comfortable to
think about.  Her favorite blue dress was missing and she had a good
idea where it was.  You'd think that Nabiki would learn to ask before
borrowing clothes.  Opening the door to Nabiki's room, Akane sighed in
exasperation.  Sure enough, there her dress was.  Nabiki hadn't even
bothered to hang it up.  She'd just tossed it over the edge of her
desk.  When Akane picked up the dress, a plain unmarked envelope fell to
the floor.  Akane hesitated a moment, knowing she shouldn't look and
then picked up the envelope and seeing it wasn't sealed, opened it.

     Pulling out the contents, Akane wasn't surprised to find a series
of photographs.  The first ones she saw showed Ranma curled up in
Ryoga's lap.  Akane decided that they must be the photographs of Ranma
in the Neko-ken that had caused so much trouble.  The next group of
photos was more actually kind of funny, since they showed Ryoga learning
to rollerblade.  There were several with a terrified Ryoga holding
tightly on to Ranma to keep from falling down.  Akane's favorite was the
one with Ranma chasing Ryoga and throwing water balloons at him.  It had
been so funny the way that Ryoga pretended to be scared.  Akane had seen
the next picture in the school's paper, Ranma and Ryoga kissing at the
end of the dance.  It was strange how Ryoga had been so disappointed
about notgoing to China.  It was easy to understand why Ranma felt that
way.  As Akane started to put the photos away, she noticed that one had
remained stuck inside the envelope.

     With a strange reluctance, Akane pulled it out.  Looking at it her
heart sank.  Ranma and Ryoga were shown lying together with their arms
gently wrapped around one another.  Ukyo and all the others had been
right after all.  A strange resolve filled Akane.  She wasn't going to
give up on Ranma that easily.  Maybe things wouldn't have come to this
if she'd been a better fiancee.  If it wasn't too late she'd start
making up for it.  Akane carefully placed the photographs and envelope
back on the desk and walked from the room.

===================

     "Ranma, do you want to work on our homework together?"

     Ranma quickly stuffed the statue he was examining under his futon's
mattress.  "Sure, Akane.  I'm having a little trouble with my math
homework, so maybe we could start there."

     Akane sat on the futon beside Ranma.  "All right.  Which problems
are you having difficulty with?"

     Ranma grinned sheepishly.  "Number one is really hard."

     "Determining the cosine of an object?  You just-"

     "Say, I'd probably be able to understand it easier if you wrote it
out, Akane."

     "I suppose I could do that."

     "Great!  I don't quite understand question two either, so could you
do that one too?"

==================

     "Kasumi, could you make a few sandwiches?"

     The eldest Tendo daughter smiled serenely.  "Of course.  What would
you like, Akane?"

     "I'm not sure.  Ranma and I are working on our homework together
and he wanted a snack before we started on the English assignment."

     "Well then, what do think Ranma would like?"

    Akane's smile didn't waver, although it might have become slightly
fixed and brittle.  "He said that anything was fine, as long as I didn't
make it."

     "Ranma is always so easy to please."  Humming quietly, Kasumi began
to spread butter on a slice of bread.

==================

     Ryoga carefully examined her reflection in the mirror.  There was
absolutely no way that a casual observer would believe that Ryoga was a
girl.  That was just the way she wanted it.  This business of cross
dressing was harder than most people thought, especially since Ukyo
flatly refused to let Ryoga get a haircut.  Several minutes later, Ryoga
finally admitted that she was ready for the date and with almost an hour
to spare.

     Casually hefting Ukyo's spatula, Ryoga decided to head over to
Ucchan's, where Tsubasa would expect to find her.  That was fine as far
as Ryoga was concerned.  If Akane never found out about this it would be
perfect.  Distracted by her concerns, Ryoga didn't notice when someone
followed her out of the house.

     Taking advantage of the Umisen-Ken training, Ranma kept Ryoga in
sight, while remaining unnoticed himself. Ranma Saotome considered
himself an expert on the subject of dating.  There was some
justification in this view, since he'd experienced just about every
disaster imaginable.  At the very least he should have known what not to
do.  In his professional opinion, the only thing necessary to qualify
this date for disaster relief was for it to actually start.  Ranma
shuddered, the night was still young and things would probably turn out
even worse than he imagined.

==================

     Ukyo Kuonji looked critically into the mirror.  No one would
mistake him for a girl.  Under the circumstances that went almost
without saying.  More importantly, he looked just as he'd always
imagined Ranma would on their first date.  The blue Chinese shirt with 
gold trim was only the start, although it had been a bit expensive.  A
haircut, shower, and a bit of after shave helped to complete the image. 
People had reacted bit strangely when he asked for a manicure, but the
nails had really needed it.  The final touch was the restoration of
Ranma's pigtail.  He'd liked it and wasn't quite sure why Ranma had
changed the style.

     Ukyo pasted a reasonable imitation of Ranma's cocky grin onto his
face.  "This time, Tsubasa will give up for good."

===================

     Back at the Nekohanten, Shampoo closed an ancient tome of Chinese
secrets.  She'd finally discovered why her attempt to reverse Happosai's
switch hadn't worked.  Unfortunately, it was even more important to
recover the statue soon than she'd thought previously.  She also
understood why Happosai hadn't reappeared yet, and why he'd probably
wait until the last moment.

End Chapter 5