Subject: Re: [FFML] [fanfic][R1/2/Utena] Quantum Destinies: Roses and Swords Chapter 2
From: "DB Sommer" <sommer@3rdm.net>
Date: 7/14/1999, 4:09 PM
To: "Jason Liao" <jasonl@hun.k12.nj.us>
CC: <ffml@fanfic.com>

Got permission from Liao to go ahead and publically respond to this.


On Tue, 13 Jul 1999, DB Sommer wrote:

<snip>

You spent a whole paragraph on how Nanami looks?!  Not critisism, just an
observation.

Just setting things up, and trying to describe her physical
characteristics a bit. Not everyone is familiar with Revolutionary Girl
Utena.


Loathe though she was to admit it,

Is this proper use of Loathe?  I think that it's supposed to be something
like "Although she was loathe to admit it,"

That works better.



As Nanami skipped along, she took note that it was a nice day.

This only gets mentioned now?  It's much better than the cliche 'It was a
sunny day in Nerima'.

I saved it for the second paragraph; an effort to be original ^_^

Actually, there's probably something better to lead the paragraph off
with. I'll try to come up with something.


Hey, now there's something I should have pointed out to Ryoucillo!

Yeah. He can start off every chapter that way. Even if it doesn't take
place in Nerima.


He had sent flowers the day after the party with a card telling her
what a wonderful time he had.

This is rather forward, when one considers that she was not holding the
party, and they had met only at the end.

Hmm. True. I might add something about them hitting it off extremely well
early on in the party.


"Oh no!" Nanami shook her head while remaining in his embrace. "I don't
want them to know about my stupidity. I could never live with myself if
they knew what a fool I'd been."

"You, of course, are not that important."

Not really ^_^

You have to admit, one of the best ways to win someone over is giving them
'you are the only one I can trust' bit.


"You want him to intimidate her?" Iizuka asked. It sounded like a good
plan.

"Actually, could you have him break her arms and legs?"

Heh.

Thanks,


hadn't the Dean asked her to participate in it? Of course, Ranma was
good,
but she was better.

If Anji's been expelled, then this is after Ranma beats Nabiki, isn't it?

Yes, but Nabiki feels her loss was just a fluke. She believe's she's
really the better martial artist (although she would admit Ranma is very
tough.)


A scowl creased Nabiki's brow. Ranma's opponent was a girl? That wasn't
good. Ranma already had too many other women in his life, and most of
them
were hanging around him far too much already. Akane wasn't much of a
threat, but the new Kuonji girl (who was not really Ranma's fiancee,
Nabiki assured herself) was a growing hindrance.

Er, how?  If you're going by what JK's released, then Nabiki shoudn't
have
even met Ukyou yet.

Went over this with him. This is most likely going to take place after
chapter 11. I believe that places 'Roses and Swords' roughly a week after
the events in chapter 9. So Nabiki has met Ukyou already.


The last thing she needed
was the possibility of some strange girl from another school trying to
get
her hooks into Ranma as well.

It looks like Nabiki is getting as posessive as cannon Akane.

Of course. Once she decided for certain that she wants Ranma, he became
hers and hers alone (at least in her mind)  She's also very unenthuseastic
about Ukyou's status with Ranma, as well as Kodachi, and Akane keeps
trying to muscle in on Nabby's 'turf'. The boy should just come out and
say 'I belong to Nabiki' and give the others the hidey-ho. ^_^

 Perhaps
she'll be sleeping with P-chan next? ^_^

Better then sleeping with Tarou's cursed form, ne?


Certainly he wasn't like the willful, stubborn mule-head that she had
to
deal with on an almost daily basis.

Been reading Robert Jordan?

Not lately. She's just frustrated that he's not her complacent little
side-kick, like the Ranma from 'A Very Scary Thought' is. There was a
Ranma who knew his place. ^_^


one. Not as a boy, of course, but as a girl.

Though in Ranma Universes, the distinction between the two isn't all that
clear anyway.


Too true.



In pursuit of that childhood dream, Utena went on to read every book
she
could get of noble samurai, or foreign lords like the prince she had
first
read about, and endeavored to figure out just how she should act.

Noble samurai?

"Wakaba, I shall date you if you defeat me!"

Hehehehe.


I suppose that she went through a frog kissing stage as well?

Heh. That's a good one. I might work in a line about that somewhere, if
it's all right with you.




trouble. She was pretty enough to have half the male population of her
school panting about her, apparently had several nobles from the most
prominent families practically in heat as they pursued her, and had
more
than a handful of WOMEN swooning after her.

Including that one who insists that she's married, despite Utena's
denials...

Not in this universe, although Anthy's relationship with her is similar.



"Oh? Let me see." The new girl held out her hand towards the watch.
Miki
handed it to her. She clicked the top of it once, examined it
carefully,
then clicked again. She gave a sigh. "It looks like it's broken to me."

"WHAT?!" Miki snatched the watch out of her hands and began pressing
the
button.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

Well, it's like an exetension of his hand. Jurai-Knight made mention of
some Batman villain that was like that.


BTW:  Does the whole watch thing ever get explained in canon Utena?  The
rental place only has up to tape 3, it seems.

Only seen up to the 4th tape myself.


..suddenly found it stopping in mid-motion. He was in shock, trying to
figure out who had stopped his arm, but a side glance showed there was
nothing there. No hand, foot, or even wire. It was some sort of
invisible
force that was so powerful he could not even bring his fist one
millimeter
forward, despite having the full use of his muscles to him.

Anthy, right?

You'll find out for sure next chapter as the truth is revealed.

Either her, or this is Gosunkugi's revenge.  If it -is-
Anthy, then I assume that the rules of RGU don't apply here, since I
doubt
she'd be allowed to interfere in a duel.

Nope. No 'End of the World' here.


Hey, perhaps the End of the World is the group of deans?  ^_^

Heh.


Thanks for the comments.

D.B. Sommer