Chan Wei Lik wrote:
This is just great! The added scenes are beautiful and blend in perfectly.
Thanks!
It had been one of the reasons my cousin branched off.
He ran off to head his own club because it was easier to get babes (and
embezzle funds) that way.
Hard to embezzle when the club keeps spending the money :P
I suppose what prevented me from siding with him in this matter was that
without these parties, I >would lose quite a few of my opportunities to be
by him.
There are two 'him's here. One is Aoshima and the other is K1 right? I think
saying so would be better.
No, both are Keiichi.
A giggle from one of the girls alerted me to my mistake and I looked a
little lower to find a
man that was as far removed from the standard set by most of the men here.
Far removed.
Actually, K1 is less than 5cm shorter than Sayoko. If he was standing in
front of her and she looked straight ahead, she'd look into his eyes.
She was looking up originally, expecint someone tall like the others.
Will make it clearer.
It's my own special brew. Guaranteed to wake you up.
Something I just realised. If K1's situation was dire enough to need that
brew, would he have been able to get up, cook it and still make it to class
in time? All without getting involved in an accident or more. If he did cook
it, he should have drank it (at least some of it) before even getting on his
bike. On the other hand, no brew means no scene here. I don't know how to
resolve this, but I've never been drunk and hungover before. I'm sure
someone on the FFML can help, right?
I'll add a line saying he drank some at home and made extra in case it
wasn't enough to keep him awake during class. I know one cup of coffee
or tea isn't enough for me when I have a class at eight in the morning,
and I would think this is especially true when you are suffering from a
hangover.
He was so short and skinny he could barely carry you into the house.
K1's physical stature is almost the same as Sayoko. He wouldn't look skinny
holding her into the house.
Overprotective parent and Keiichi does look wimpy :P
The Auto Club, of which I knew he was part of since it was close by the Art
Club
The Auto Club clubhouse is apparently on the edge of the campus. I don't
think it can be considered close to any of the other buildings.
Will alter that.
was notorious for sharing X rated movies
Unlikely, considering that the Auto Club's first president was a woman that
scares even Tamiya and Otaki and is an auto enthusiast. If she said not to
pass porn around the clubhouse, that prohibition would stay even after she
was long gone. (Since she only turns up in vol13, you are forgiven for not
knowing about Fujimi sempai)
Will change it to say 'rumored' then... drawing this from Urd's
appearance, because the first thing he thinks of was that the tape was
from his sempai.
It was one of the many reasons many male students joined it.
80% of them flee after experiencing Tamiya's 'Welcome Hug'.
Heh, so the ones that _did_ stay needed some sort of reason ^_^
as to chase someone everyone in Nekomi considered a fool.
Not fool. I think wimp or clown would be more accurate.
Okay. Their opinion isn't even either of those later on. Keiichi could
even be seen as a role model midway into the manga.
That's a wrap. All the scene that should be here are present. Just polish up
those little errors and it will be complete. Keep it coming!
Thanks for the in depth C & C, been a big help :P