On Mon, 12 Jul 1999, Bogue wrote:

Okay, this is gonna sound strange, but I do not want any commentary
that could somehow better this fic. Now, let me explain. This is my
attempt at making the worst non-lemon Ranma fanfiction ever and
I pretty much know that it's bad. What I need to know is how to make
it even worse. Should I add a flying talking dog? Should there be
whole paragraphs of nonsensical  jibberish?

Well, I'm going to tell you how to do this right!

First, add a paragraph redescribing the whole Jusenko trip, and delimit it
with ****Flashback****.  After all, we're not smart enough to realize that
it is a flashback from context.  Always using past tense is boring, so
spice it up with randomly writing sentences in the present.  More
exclaimation marks at the end of sentences (at least three, though five is
a good number). More description of your characters is good; for starters,
you should describe all the characters' height, weight, hair and eye
colour, type and size of clothing worn (including those -important-
measurements, like sleeve size, and lapel length), general shape of nose,
whether the character has a moustache, religious affiliation, living or
deceased, currently carrying how much pocket change, and whether they like
cats.  You might add more, if you feel that's not enough.

And for god's sakes, get the main character's name right!  It's spelled
Rumba!

-Natsume Ranma Ranma
-------
The sardines weren't worth the trouble.  A few more shots, then 
Ryoga-san would overheat and explode.  Ducking around a corner, 
I managed to lose him as I entered the ramshackle residence of 
my Anime supplier.

One look at his face and I knew that I was betrayed.  "Tell me."
I insisted.  He refused, so I slammed him against the wall.
"Last chance.  Where can Ranma-Ranma find good fanfics?"
"Try Jason Liao." he whispered, before he slumped to the floor.
I heard the sounds of a door splintering as I left through the 
window, one step ahead of Tendo Heavy Industries...