A couple of replies at the same time here.
Chan Wei Lik wrote:
From: Donny Cheng
Keiichi's just one of many clueless guys in anime/manga. Most of which
I seem rather fond of for some reason. :P
Maybe it's because of the way girlfriends seems to just drop into their
laps?
That might be it ^_^
It also would have contradicted with the manga.
Good call on that one. For those of you who never had the chance to read it,
the chapter that introduces Sayoko in the manga implies 2 things: First, she
knew of Belldandy prior to that chapter. Second, she just realised that her
boyfriend was Keiichi.
I haven't read that story in a couple of years either, but it came to me
as I was writing this.
I might throw in another scene to space it out more.
That would be very good of you! I was a bit disappointed that you all but
passed over Sayoko's reaction towards losing her Queen status. It would be
great if you could show how she realises that the crowd of boys around her
is no longer as large as it once was.
True, now that I've had a chance of thinking about it after it's been
written, I noticed a couple of other things I may have skimmed over.
My compliments on a very well written fic. With a bit of work, it should
rank with the best of AMG fics out there. Do let us read your revised
version when you're finished with it.
Thanks and I'll probably have a rewrite of this out in a few days.
Jason Liao wrote:
On Wed, 7 Jul 1999, Donny Cheng wrote:
Jason Liao wrote:
On Wed, 7 Jul 1999, Donny Cheng wrote:
"Uh, sorry. I had to get up to go the bathroom," Keiichi said, bowing
with comic exaggeration.
I frowned inwardly at the save.
I frowned outwardly. Just how did that work again?
Saying that she's feeling the emotions that come with frowning, but not
showing it outwardly.
I meant, how did Keiichi's actions help her? Was he running interference,
or making a fool out of himself, so that the professor forgot?
Should have made it clearer. He made as if the noise Sayoko's entrance
made was actually him making the noise.