Here is a very, very short (1 1/2 pages) fic that absolutely *DEMANDED*
to be written. I would like to know what the people here think of it.

It has mild spoilers up to episode 48 of the anime, and is set about
five years after the end of the 2nd OVAs. 
Raye 
===
raye_j@yahoo.com
Member of the Shoujo Anime Proliferation Project Ynstitute
(SAPPY)

If your mind is pure,
perhaps your brain has been washed.
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-- Name   : Before.txt
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Before The Dawn

by Raye Johnsen

**************************************************************************************************
Fushigi Yuugi is the property of Watase Yuu, Flower Comics, Studio Perriot,
Pioneer Animation and Viz Comics. All rights remain theirs and I'm not making any
profit from this at all (Tamahome would undoubtedly take it all if I did).
**************************************************************************************************

She sighed, resting her hand lightly upon the painted surface, softly touching the
representation of that which she could no longer touch.
     It was late, so late that the new day's dawn would be upon them shortly. She
would have to return to her chambers by then; it would not do for anyone to realize
that she had been awake and wandering the corridors of the Palace for most of the
night. She had a position to maintain, after all.
     All her life, it seemed, was about positions.
     She had arrived, along with every other girl in the seraglio, fully prepared to
live the rest of her life cloistered, as either a lesser Imperial wife or as the wife as
one of the Emperor's advisors or favourites, should he choose to give her to one of
them. She had never considered living her life any other way. Until she met - him.
     Like a comet blazing across the sky, eclipsing both the sun and moon, he had
dazzled her from the first minute she laid eyes upon him. His movements were to
her eyes grace incarnate, his voice the purest music she'd ever heard.
     And, even now, so many years later, it was still restful to her soul to look
upon his face. This was not the first sleepless night she'd spent here.
     He, of course, knew nothing. How could he? She was silent, not significant.
Where he was lively, she was calm. Where he sparkled with quips, she spoke
infrequently, with a quiet wit that often went unnoticed. His demeanor ran so close to
the edge of propriety that one was tempted to hold one's breath, waiting for his fall,
while she cultivated an image of unfailingly correct behaviour.
     So many times she was shocked at her own feelings. How could she? It
simply wasn't *right* to care for that person in such a way! 
     She smiled gently in the darkened room at the blinded wisdom of her younger
self.
     When he had been revealed as a Suzaku no Shishiseishi, she had
acknowledged to herself what she had always known, that his path was so far from
hers that she had more chance of winning the Rabbit Emperor of the Moon's hand
than his. He served Suzaku no Miko, and with this truth she managed to heal her
divided heart.
     It had not been easy, and had taken more time than she thought possible. But
no sooner was she heart-whole once more than she fell again, for a beautiful young
man as wounded as she had been. Loving him was easier than one might expect;
marriage to him both wondrous and heartbreaking. 
     He had shared with her, in the quiet of their nights, many of his pains and
secrets. Among them had been the secret of the one she'd loved first, a secret still
kept from the court and people today. 
     She had been saddened and enlightened. Saddened that she had not seen
the truth for herself and that she had not made herself enough of a friend for the one
she'd loved first to share it; and enlightened, for the truths placed her feelings in
perspective and let her lay the last ghosts of her heart to rest. 
     Winning her husband's heart was not easy, but she'd succeeded. Her love
had won his, and if only they'd had a little more time-
     She chuckled dryly in the predawn gloom. If only. Wasn't there a saying?
'The greatest regret is 'it might have been''?
     There are those who claim that an unrequited love is the most painful, and
others that losing one who one both loves and is loved by is the true agony of the
heart. Having experienced both, she would agree with the latter.
     She spent many sleepless nights, now. Most in front of the portrait of her
husband; but sometimes, like tonight, it was more restful to look upon the one she'd
never dared approach.
     But now, it was time to return to her rooms and pretend to sleep, so her little
maids could come in and awaken her to prepare for the day.
     Houki, Dowager-Empress Regent of the Empire of Konan, picked up her lamp
and walked to the door. Stepping through and turning to close the door behind her,
she whispered softly to the darkened room.
     "Oyasumi nasai, Nuriko-sama."