Jason Liao wrote:
On Wed, 7 Jul 1999, Donny Cheng wrote:
Hmmm...another one. I got this just as I sent out that much delayed C&C
for your other fic.
Thanks again for that one.
"Yeah," he managed to croak out, "fine like an engine filled with
sugar."
That means that he'll have to be taken apart, and have each piece cleaned.
Ouch.
(No, I've never poured sugar into anyone's gas tank. However, I have
thought about it...)
Neither have I... really!
I was counting on that and sure enough, I was
noticed by all as I answered the teacher glibly and made my way slowly
to a seat not far from the top where I entered.
Wish that worked for me.
Same thing, I've been in the Keiichi role more times than I care to
remember and still a few years of U left :(
"Uh, sorry. I had to get up to go the bathroom," Keiichi said, bowing
with comic exaggeration.
I frowned inwardly at the save.
I frowned outwardly. Just how did that work again?
Saying that she's feeling the emotions that come with frowning, but not
showing it outwardly.
offer. "I'm probably going to go alone. I'm a volunteer and I won't
have a chance to get a date until the last minute," I hinted not so
subtly.
"Nah, you'll find someone to take you," Keiichi said confidently in
support.
Stupid.
Heh.
rest of the workload on him. The next day we found him asleep in a
spotless dancehall. He didn't blame me for what happened and said 'told
you so' when I was mobbed by a group of guys the moment I hit the
campus. "See? I doubt you'll ever have a problem with finding a date
no matter how late it is."
Ha!
Keiichi's just one of many clueless guys in anime/manga. Most of which
I seem rather fond of for some reason. :P
"Yeah, this Belldandy is causing quite a stir. I don't see how she can
get so much attention even when she has a boyfriend."
"Well, when your boyfriend is someone like him..."
Oh, this is a relief! I thought you might fall into the trap of putting
in an overly melodramatic moment where she's made up her mind to ask him
out, and finds out about Bel.
It also would have contradicted with the manga. Not saying that I
haven't in parts of the story already, but this would be more directly
so.
Overall, very nice. Probably not the most profound thing I've ever read,
as that honor goes to Lawson's Nuku Nuku series. Of course, that also
messed me up for a week.
Having that party scene right after the first classroom scene made me
think that you were going to switch into the present after every memory
scene. Besides that, I don't have too much more to say, other than I
liked how you handled this.
I might throw in another scene to space it out more.
Thanks for the C & C!