Echo's of Iteeeeeeee

	This is a parody. Any resemblance to any character,
person place, god, or universe living or dead from the
beginning of time until the end of history is purely
coincidental. 

*******************************************************

	"Are we ready for phase one?" The whispered question
skittered from the darkness like a poisonous spider.

	"Yes master." The uniformed general tugged discreetly
as his suddenly too tight collar.  "I have ordered the
Special Tactics Undercover Penetration Interdiction
Despoilers into action. They should reach their
objective----"

		
	"I object," The sudden interruption caused a stir
around the table. "My International Destroyers
Internal Operatives for Terrorism are much more suited
for a mission of this delicacy."

	"WHAT! How can you say that,"the general retorted.
"In a case of this importance----"

	"Enough," Thundered the voice from the darkness. "I
will brook no argument." The arguing men cringed
submissively. "The secret invasion of Japan is too
important to our ultimate plan." The voice 
paused. "There is no possibility of your men's
identity being discovered?"

	"None, my master." The general straightened slightly.
"They are chosen men, without family or friends, past,
or future. Merciless,  bloodthirsty killers who would
sell their mothers to a whore house for  the price of
a beer."

	"Ahhhh."The dark voice hissed with pleasure. "Art
History Majors."
There was a brief pause. "It is decided. The general
will carry out this mission. He is S.T.U.P.I.D., not
an I.D.I.O.T."


*******************************************************

	"Welcome to Japan," The immigration official was
tired. It was almost the end of her shift and she
wanted to go home. "Please state your country of
origin and purpose for visit."

	"We have come from the outer darkness, to rape,
pillage and burn."

	"American . . .tourist." She carefully wrote in the
blank. "Length of stay?"

******************************************************

	Swiftly the mysterious, unknown invaders made their
way through the streets of Tokyo toward their
objective. They were primed, they were merciless, they
were . . .lost.


	"It is very easy for first time visitors to get lost
in Tokyo," The policeman said indulgently. "Addresses
are divided into postal codes, Ku or
city wards, place name, chome subdivision and numbers
for the street and building." The gaijin gathered
around his small one-man kouban listened
attentively. Some even took notes. "Now according to
this," he peered at the topological satellite overlay
map that one of the men had handed him. "your
best bet is to take the Kudanshita train to Ichigaya
station. Transfer there to Ikebukruo----"

 	"And that will get us to our objective?"

 	"Oh, by no means," The policeman laughed. "But from
there you can ask for more directions."

 	"Thank you," The leader said, pulling out a pistol
and shooting the policeman through the chest. "You
have been very helpful."

	"Not at all," The policeman replied, sliding down the
side of his small substation, leaving a smear of
blood. "It is my job to help visitors and
return lost objects." Pink froth bubbled from his
mouth and nose, a clear sign of a wound to the lungs.
"As visitors you may not be aware that Japan has 
very strict regulations regarding swords and firearms.
I am afraid that you are in violation of the law."

*******************************************************

	In a city of twenty million people five hundred armed
gaijin and the destruction a mere dozen police
sub-stations went almost completely noticed. Almost.

	"HOLD invaders." The slender, handsome upperclassman
stood athwart the road leading into Nerima. "Who are
you, that trespass upon the
sacred soil of Nipon. But wait! It is the custom for
warriors to exchange names. I am he who is known as
the BLUE THUNDER of Furinken Highschool." Raising his
bokken high Kuno Tatiwaki charged, scattering
the Peoria-Thursday-Night-Bridge-Club tour group. 

	"Ha,ha,ha,ha. RUN cowards." His bokken spinning like
a water wheel the BLUE THINDER charged the only foe
that remained to face him; Mrs. Burt Wheeler, aged 84
her walker had gotten stuck in a drain 
grating. Unfortunately the gods robbed him of his
victory when his bokken tangled in Mrs. Wheeler's
colostomy bag, throwing him to the ground.


	"NO!!! BROTHERRRRRR!" Her already fragile insanity
snappeddriving Kodachi hopelessly sane. Grabbing her
brother's bokken from the ground she held it above her
head.

	"Ancestors, hear me. With my blood I will regain our
lost honor."

	"Mistress," Faithful Sasuki cried. "NO, you can't do
it . . ."

	Ignoring her loyal ninja Kodachi drove the bokken
into the belly.

	". . .with a wooden blade."

	"Owww!"

	"Sister, I'm not dead."

	"Owww!"

	"Mistress, please stop."

	"Owww!"

	"Excuse me we are trying to find Nerima-ku."

	Sasuki looked up to see hundreds of armed men,
surrounding his master and mistress.

	"Vile invaders." The loyal retainer drew his sword,
determined to defend his master and mistress to the
last. "I am determined to defend my master and
mistress to the last."

	"Sasuki!" Kuno barked. "Have you no manners? These
people are visitors to our country." He sketched a
short bow. "Please, allow my servant to be your
guide."

	"Thank you."

	"Owwww!"
************************************************************

	Next episode:

	Dr. Tofu looked at the results of the test. Sinking
into his seat he dropped his head into his hands. How
could he tell Ryouga the awful news. How could he tell
Ryouga that he had . . .swine flu.

	 

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