Wasn't expecting to get this out before the holiday, but here it is. This
think just sucks more and more....
:)
=======================================================================
Garden of EVA 1:3 - Championships Suck!
Book 1: Sucks
Neon Genesis Evangelion characters and situations created and Copyright
by Gainax, Project Eva, ADV Films - Used without permission
Garden of EVA series created, written, and copyright 1998-1999 by Jim
Lazar
A series set within episode 26 of Neon Genesis Evangelion that really
sucks.
<Speech text in angle brackets is thought by character.>
"Speech text in double quotes is spoken as Japanese."
E-mail comments and/or criticisms to: mailto:jimlazar@earthlink.net
Previous parts and my other fanfiction can be found at:
http://home.earthlink.net/~jimlazar/anime
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[Insert humorous warning about all the sex, naughty bits (male and
female), bad language, and general suckiness here.]
=======================================================================
"Fine then! I'll just be a paying customer!" Shinji suddenly
announced. He dug into his pocket and produced a couple bills and some
coins. "What'll ten-thousand and..." He counted his coins.
"Three-hundred fifty yen get me?"
Rei was speechless. She looked back and stared at Shinji's eyes for
several seconds. Tears came to her eyes and she opened her mouth to
speak.
"It'll get you both arrested."
Shinji and Rei turned their heads and saw a police officer standing
beside them.
"Shit."
"You'll both have to come with me." The young, baby-faced policeman
reached out to grab their wrists.
Shinji's mind was working overtime. He had promised to protect his
sister no matter what, but did that include resisting arrest? <Maybe
this is better for her. She needs professional help. Shit... I've
already failed her.>
Rei suddenly dropped to her knees and began crying uncontrollably.
"No, please... my mother will move me away for sure now..." <This
usually works on the rookies and this guy looks like a pushover.>
"Save it for the judge." The policeman reached down to pull Rei up
off the ground. <Cool! I always wanted to say that.>
Rei cringed away from the policeman's grasp and cried crocodile
tears.
Shinji snapped at the mere hint that he'd be separated from Rei. He
tried to rationalize it by insisting that he had to be close to her to
protect to her, ignoring the fact that his love for her was the real
cause. Suddenly, he pointed down the street away from Rei. "Look it's a
giant purple robot!!"
The policeman looked away. That was all Shinji needed. He grabbed
Rei and pulled her to her feet. He took of running, dragging the still
stunned Rei behind him.
The policeman shrugged. "I don't see anything. Let's go..." He
trailed off as he saw that the kids were gone. "Shit, not again. That's
the third time this week I've lost suspects because of that giant purple
robot that has been terrorizing Tokyo-3. They really have to catch that
thing." It would be several days before the policeman would realize that
he was repeatedly being tricked, but only after his superior explained
very carefully that giant purple robots did not really exist.
-E- -V- -A-
Shinji dragged Rei down a dark alley hoping to find someplace to
hide. Finally, he couldn't run any more and stopped in a dark corner. He
crouched over and tried to catch his breath.
Rei glared at Shinji. "Why did you do that Shinji?!"
Shinji looked up at Rei from he stooped position. "Huh? I had to
protect you."
"Do you know what kind of trouble you can get into for resisting
arrest? You should have just let me charm him into letting us go."
Shinji gulped. He knew he hadn't really thought things through, but
it had seemed the right thing to do at the time. "I'm sorry, I just sort
of reacted without thinking when I thought we might be separated."
Rei gasped. "That's why you did it?"
Shinji nodded.
Rei smiled for the first time that day. "Thank you, Shinji. That's
the first time anyone has committed a felony for me."
Shinji smirked. "Anytime, Sis."
Suddenly, a siren echoed down the alley.
Rei looked around nervously. "We'd better get going, Clyde."
"Okay, Bonnie."
Brother and sister ran off into the night, hand in hand.
-E- -V- -A-
After a long chase through the dark streets of Tokyo-3, Shinji
believed they had lost the policeman for sure and had led them back to
Rei's apartment. "You think we were followed?" Shinji asked, crouching
down in front of Rei's apartment building.
Rei smiled at Shinji's nervousness. "No, I think we're safe now.
The cops don't care enough about prostitution to give chase for too
long."
Shinji was a bit troubled by her statement, but decided not to
mention it. "Are you going to be okay alone tonight?"
"No, but I can't be with you, can I?"
Shinji reluctantly shook his head. "Rei, you don't need to sell
your body like that."
Rei smiled weakly. "I know... I guess I just couldn't handle seeing
you with Asuka."
"I'm not going to date her anymore... at least for a while."
"It's okay, you can. I'll be alright."
"It's not for you... I'm not ready."
Rei sighed and risked looking into Shinji's eyes. "Why do all the
good ones turn out to be taken or your half-brother?"
"Life sucks, that's why."
Rei nodded and turned to walk up the steps to the front door of the
building.
"Good night, Rei." Shinji turned around and took a single step
before he felt Rei grab him from behind and wrap her arms around his
chest.
"Thank you for keeping me from making a big mistake tonight,
Shinji."
"Just don't do it again."
"I won't." Rei took a step towards her apartment building then
stopped and turned around. "Hey, Shinji?"
"Yeah?"
"You don't have to pay for it. Just ask."
Shinji gulped loud enough to wake the dead or at least Ritsuko,
which was technically the same thing since Third Impact occurred.
"Rei... um... we really can't do that anymore. I was just trying to keep
you from making a huge mistake with that kind of guy."
Rei frowned. She suspected as much, but still couldn't shake her
feelings for him. Recently she had been wishing that her life could be
like one of those hentai mangas where the brother always screwed his
little sister. "I know. But never hurts to ask, does it?"
Shinji was a bit confused. "Um... no, I guess not. Good night, Rei."
He leaned forward and gave her a peck on her cheek.
Rei smiled and put her hand to her cheek and walked inside. She then
spent an hour arguing with her mother about where she was that late at
night.
-E- -V- -A-
"Thank you, Shinji." Rei said and pressed her naked body against
Shinji's and gave him a long hug.
Shinji blushed. "Err..."
"Cut that out!" Asuka screamed and stomped across the theater floor
towards the hugging couple.
Shinji jumped away from Rei and awkwardly pointed at the
viewpoint... with his finger. He tried to ignore the other part of his
anatomy that was pointing at that moment. "Well, you should thank him.
He's the one who protected her. I don't know if I would've been able
to."
"No.... I don't see any differences between the two of you."
"Well..."
"I agree. For instance, they're both spineless wimps!" Asuka
instead.
"No, they aren't," Rei said softly.
"Yes, they are... did you see that jerk run away from me just when
things were getting interesting?"
"He appeared to be more concerned about me than kissing you."
Asuka recoiled from the suggestion, mostly since it had a ring of
truth to it. "Shut up!"
"I don't think I will," Rei said calmly.
Asuka fumed inside at never being able to get a rise out of Rei.
"Hey, Shinji..."
"Yes?"
"Rei here wants to fuck you!"
"What?" Shinji gasped, looking nervously at Rei.
Rei blushed. "You... embarrass me."
Asuka couldn't believe that didn't get more of a reaction from Rei.
"That's the point, you little slut." She turned towards Shinji. "Shinji,
she's just like that other Rei... needing a cock in her to feel
anything. She's just a unfeeling half-breed!"
Shinji glared at Asuka. "What is wrong with you, Asuka?!"
"Me? I'm perfect... she's the screwed up one."
"Oh, go screw yourself then." Shinji waved his hand and Asuka
disappeared. "I just don't know why she never changes. After all we've
been through, you'd think she'd feel some compassion."
"Maybe she's right."
"Huh?"
"Maybe I am looking for something to fill me up. To make me whole.
To make me feel."
Shinji grew nervous. "Um... Rei, I like you and all, but I really
don't think..."
Rei smirked. "Don't worry, Shinji. I don't expect you to do
anything you don't want to. After all, we have all the time in..." She
trailed off as she realized the term 'world' no longer fit. "Eternity, I
guess. That's probably the proper term now... all the time in eternity."
"Time for what?"
"That is for you to decide, isn't it?"
Shinji grew confused. Well, more confused than normal.
-E- -V- -A-
Shinji awoke the next morning with a naked girl on top of him.
"Huh?" His eyes focused and he realized that it was Asuka and she wasn't
naked. But he was. "Asuka! What are you doing?!"
"Just making up for you running off on me last night," Asuka said,
as she straddled his legs. Her school skirt was draped over his legs and
her buttocks were resting on his mighty oak and acorns.
Shinji gulped, but hen realized it felt different from the time Rei
had done the same thing. <Ah... she's wearing her panties. That's what's
different> He looked around the room. "You really shouldn't do this...
what if my parents found out?"
"Who cares?"
"I do."
She leaned down and gave him a long kiss. After it was done, she
slid off his legs and smiled. "You worry too much, Shinji. Relax and
enjoy the ride."
Shinji watched her depart and sighed. <I could use less twists and
turns on this roller coaster I call my life.> As he dressed, he started
to wonder if he should have given a different answer to his ghostly
twin. When the apparition had appeared to him a week previously, Shinji
said he was happy. But at the time he had thought he could overcome the
problems involved with Rei being his sister, but he wasn't so sure
anymore.
-E- -V- -A-
"So how far did you two get last night?" Touji asked Shinji at
lunch.
Shinji had been avoiding these questions all day, but finally gave
in. "Just kissing."
"Come on... Big-red was all over you last night. I bet you you've
at least touched her breast."
"No!"
Touji smiled and looked at Kensuke. "Do you think he did?"
"I believe Shinji."
"Thank you. Come on guys... If I did get anywhere with a girl,
wouldn't I tell you?
"I guess you would."
"So how far did you and Hikari get?"
Touji nervously looked at his girlfriend, who was eating with Asuka
and Rei across the schoolyard. "Um... don't tell her this, but I touched
her... you know... last night."
"Her breast?" Shinji wondered.
"No... you know..."
"Her nipple?" Kensuke guessed.
"No... lower?"
"Her ass?"
"No!"
"The spot right behind her left knee that drives women crazy?"
Kensuke suggested, casually.
Both Touji and Shinji looked oddly at Kensuke for a moment before
Touji spoke. "No, her vagina you idiots!!"
The trio suddenly looked around to make sure that no one had
overheard, most especially Hikari. Fortunately, there didn't appear to
be a wave of gossip spreading out from them, so Touji's balls were
probably safe from being crushed by Hikari. For this incident at least.
Kensuke was confused because Misato had responded quite well when
he had touched hers. "How could she not know that?"
"Idiot! She knows I touched it--she was screaming in ecstasy at my
touch--but she would kill me if she knew I told you!"
Shinji and Kensuke exchanged knowing glances that had
'carpet-bagged' written all over them.
"Since you two have yet to have the pleasure of the sensation, let
me tell you all the juicy details."
Shinji and Kensuke tried to sound interested in Touji's detailed
description, but since they had more firsthand knowledge that Touji
about that particular female body part, they found Touji's half-hour
lecture on his one minute of feeling up Hikari a bit boring.
-E- -V- -A-
"I barely felt him touch it," Hikari said as she finished her
description.
"Hmmm, I bet Shinji is better," Asuka gloated.
"He is," Rei said absently. When Asuka and Hikari glared at her she
quickly added, "I mean... I'm sure he is. After that description you
gave of his kissing, he sounds pretty good." It had been hard for Rei to
keep herself from bursting into tears every time Asuka mentioned their
date and everything that happened last night.
"Oh. Well, he is a good kisser... but so awkward. He even ran off
last night when we were still having fun kissing."
Rei nodded, trying not to show any emotion. She wasn't entirely
successful, but the other girls didn't notice.
"Say, Rei? Do you have a boyfriend yet?" Hikari asked.
Rei flinched, then shook her head. "No. I'm still getting over a
bad breakup." She paused, then quickly added a lie to cover up who it
was. "Down in Osaka-2." Sadly, even the coverup was partially true.
Although under vastly different circumstances and not the breakup she
was speaking of, her breakup with Hasamoto was very bad.
"That was a long time ago. Maybe I could fix you up with Kensuke."
Asuka laughed. "Kensuke? He's still playing war games. It'll be a
while before he's ready to date a girl."
"Thanks for the thought, Hikari, but I'm not ready."
-E- -V- -A-
After school, Kensuke leaned against a wall near the train station.
"Hey, baby... Want to have tea with me?"
The young woman stopped and stared at Kensuke in his leisure suit.
"Aren't you a little young to be picking up women at train stations?"
"Young and full of energy, baby."
"Does your mother know you do this?"
Kensuke went into his 'sad boy' routine that he'd found helps break
the ice. "She died giving birth to me."
The woman gasped. "Oh, you poor boy." She pulled him into a hug and
comforted him. "You must have had a hard time growing up."
"It wasn't easy." His hands started to roam.
"Maybe... Eeepp!" The woman suddenly pushed Kensuke away and bashed
him over the head with her purse. "Pervert!" She stormed off, thinking
that the little perverted boy reminded her of her late husband. <Oh, how
I miss you, my dear Ataru.> Suddenly, a smile formed on her face.
"Damn, almost had one there." Kensuke strolled away, constantly on
the look out for older women.
"Excuse me."
Kensuke looked around to see the woman he had just groped standing
there.
"I'm Shinubu, care to have some tea with me?"
Kensuke nodded emphatically. <Bingo!>
-E- -V- -A-
A week later, Shinji awoke with Asuka on top of him. Again. "Asuka,
will you please stop waking me up this way?!"
"No... it's fun. And until you decide to take me out again, I'm
going to keep waking you up this way."
"I told you over and over... I can't date you right now."
"Well, too bad... you sucked my nipple, so you're stuck with me!"
Shinji sighed.
Like he did every morning for the past week, he pushed Asuka gently
to get her off his lap. He stopped suddenly as his hand didn't feel what
he normally did. Namely, cloth. He finally bothered to take a look at
Asuka and saw that she was really naked this time. "Wh... why are you
naked?!"
"Well, since I couldn't give you your birthday present last night
at the party with the gang there, I thought I'd give you it now. You
seem to be enjoying it." She nodded down towards his hand, which was
still resting on her breast from when he had tried to push her off.
"Ack!!" Shinji withdrew his hand, slid out from under her, stumbled
to his feet, and quickly found his shorts and T-shirt. He made sure to
face away from Asuka to hide something that had suddenly risen to the
occasion. He slipped his shorts on and walked towards his door. "Asuka,
just get dressed and quite pressuring me!" As he made his way to the
bathroom, he muttered, "Birthdays suck."
Asuka frowned as she watched him disappear out the door. "What a
grouch. " She slipped of the bed. <I thought for sure that this would
get more of a rise from him. Or at least from his dick, but not even a
twitch. I wonder if he's gay?> She thought about this for a few seconds.
"No, that's ridiculous. I'll just have to give him a little more direct
stimulation next time." She held her hand in a cup shape and then
squeezed several times. "That'll work for sure." She started to leave
the room, but then remembered that she was still naked. "Oops." She
turned around and began to redress.
-E- -V- -A-
Excerpt from 'The American Century Dictionary' - 1999 edition:
championship n. 1 contest to decide the champion 2 position of champion
Excerpt from 'Asuka's Guide to the Post-Third Impact World' - 1st
edition:
championship n. 1 contest to decide who gets to fuck Shinji first 2
Asuka on top
-E- -V- -A-
The gang sat on a train headed south towards for Osaka-2. Asuka and
Shinji were sitting together. Shinji was constantly having to avoid
Asuka's attempts to kiss, cuddle, hug, fondle, fold, spindle, or
mutilate him. Usually in that order.
Hikari and Touji sat across from them and alternated their
attention between watching Shinji and Asuka's little awkward
relationship, the scenery outside the window, and going repeatedly to
the restroom to neck.
Rei and Kensuke sat together. Rei spent most of the time staring
out the window and trying to ignore Asuka and Shinji. Kensuke spent most
of the time trying to look down Rei's low cut blouse without looking
like he was looking down her low cut blouse.
Misato suddenly stormed up to the little group. "We're almost
there. I don't know why the principal forced me to babysit you brats on
this little trip to play kiddie games, but you'd better all behave
yourselves or you'll all have detention for the rest of your life."
Rei knew why. She still couldn't believe her mother and grandmother
had only allowed her to go on this trip after they had 'arranged' for
Misato to babysit them. She might have normally cursed her mother and
grandmother using their connections to do stuff like this, but in this
case she was happy to be able to get away with the gang. And Shinji, of
course. Unfortunately, ever time she saw him and Asuka together, a part
of her died inside.
"As the leader of this group of morons, I promise you we'll
behave," Hikari said, glaring directly at Touji.
Touji took affront to the implied accusation. "What're you looking
at me for?!"
Hikari rolled her eyes. "Guess."
"You had better behave, Touji. I still haven't forgiven you for
spreading all those rumors about me and that man. Who is only a friend
if you happen to talk to any reporters... which you shouldn't."
Touji snapped to attention. "I'll behave, Misato!"
Misato patted Touji's head. "Good boy." In the process she had
leaned over and given Touji a clear view of her ample cleavage.
Hikari looked at her boyfriend and frowned. She leaned in and
whispered into his ear. "At ease, soldier."
"Huh?"
"Cover your lap, you horny jerk."
Touji blushed and quickly covered his lap to hide his reaction to
Misato's cleavage.
Misato leaned over and spoke to Shinji. "Shinji, now I know you and
Asuka are dating, but please don't get into trouble. The hotel rooms are
not for anything except sleeping, got it?"
Shinji flinched. News about Asuka and his date had gotten out of
hand at school. By the end of the week, everyone at school were
convinced that they were having sex, Asuka was pregnant, and that they
were planning to get married. Despite his protests, no one would believe
him. Except the gang, but even Hikari, Touji, Kensuke had their doubts
about them not having sex. Asuka, of course, knew they hadn't, but
seemed to enjoy not answering questions about it directly, which helped
fan the flames. And Rei... Shinji looked back at her, but she was still
staring vacantly out the window.
"Shinji! Did you hear me?!"
Shinji snapped to attention. "Yes, Misato! I'm sorry... rest
assured I will not be doing anything with Asuka on this trip."
"Hey!!" Asuka cried out.
"You either, Asuka. I've lost too many boyfriends to redheads to be
fooled by your protests of innocence. Just watch it..." Misato looked
around at everyone, but made a point to cast a particularly nasty glare
at Kensuke. "That goes for all of you. Behave yourselves!"
"Yes, Ma'am!"
-E- -V- -A-
After they settled into the hotel, the three boys relaxed in their
room. Misato had insisted on keeping a close eye on Asuka so they shared
a room, while Rei and Hikari shared the third room that the gang had
been assigned for the Eva Championship Tournament.
"What do you think is bugging Misato, lately?" Shinji asked,
staring at the ceiling.
Touji, being Touji, said something vile. "Well, she's been cranky
for a number of weeks, so it's not that time of the month."
"I think she's in love, but it's a forbidden love," Kensuke
commented casually.
"What... like a student? Get real." Touji started to laugh.
"Hey, it could happen!!" Kensuke blurted then calmed down. "Or
maybe just some other boyfriend trouble."
"Well, there is that guy I saw her with in the park. Rumor is he's
running for some political office."
"Mayor."
Shinji and Touji looked over at Kensuke. "How do you know that?"
Shinji asked.
"Um... I... saw it on the news."
"You watch the news?! What a dork... Well, with you like that and
Shinji running away from Big-red like Ranma from Shampoo, I'll be the
first to lose my virginity."
Both Kensuke and Shinji turned their heads away from Touji to hide
the smiles that appeared on their face.
Touji just went on with his boasting, oblivious to Shinji and
Kensuke having beaten him to the cherry.
-E- -V- -A-
"Are you going to let Touji do it finally?" Asuka asked as she
unpacked her bag in her room, while Hikari watched.
Hikari blushed at Asuka's question. "Maybe."
Asuka's jaw dropped, since she had only been teasing. "What?!
You're going to let him do it?"
Hikari nodded. "Probably. As long as he behaves himself during the
trip."
Asuka relaxed. "Oh, then I guess he won't be getting any on this
trip."
Hikari frowned. "Hey, it's not nice to assume my boyfriend will do
something stupid."
Asuka raised her eyebrow in a silent question.
Hikari couldn't hold in the laugh that erupted from her throat.
"Yeah, maybe it is a long shot. But he really does have a sweet and
tender side to him."
"Is his butt that nice?"
"Yes," Hikari answered without thinking. Suddenly she blushed.
"Asuka!"
"Don't worry about it, girlfriend, I've touched Shinji's butt too."
"What's the story on you two anyway?"
Asuka frowned. "To tell you the truth, I don't know. We've known
each other our whole lives and I always thought of him as a friend.
Well... maybe more than that lately. He's so damn cute."
Hikari smiled. "Not as cute as my Touji."
Asuka shrugged. "To each her own. Anyway, a few weeks ago he got
very aggressive and we made out in his bedroom. I was so stunned when he
sucked my nip..."
Hikari's face fell. "Your nipple?" Asuka nodded. "He got that far
before you even had your first date? Wow."
"Well, that's were I drew the line... but I never knew he had it in
him. To suck my nipple like that was so..." Asuka trailed off and
smiled.
Hikari nodded. "I know the feeling, but even Touji didn't try to
suck my nipples for quite some time. Lots of wandering hands, of
course."
-E- -V- -A-
Round one.
The red Eva Unit Two stormed across the field and sliced the blue
Eva in half with large spear-like sword. "First blood... One down!"
Asuka called out, spinning the sword around in an elaborate and
completely self-centered attempt to be noticed.
"Nice one, keep your eyes peeled for Angels as we hack these
Masturbating Bastards into tiny little pieces," Hikari instructed as she
traded sword blows with an enemy Eva.
"Got it." Asuka checked her tactical map and lumbered across the
battlefield to a spot where there were three enemy Evas in close
proximity. As she approached, she noticed the situation. "Kensuke, seven
O'clock!!"
Kensuke ducked his red Unit Ten down and spun at the same time. He
extended his arm blades as he spun, slicing first into the blue Eva he
had been grappling with and then into the blue Eva that was sneaking up
behind him. "Two more down!"
"Nice move, Ken-baby!" Asuka leapt over Kensuke and started to
grapple with the sole remaining enemy Eva in the immediate area. "These
guys are pathetic."
While Asuka had taken on the enemy Eva, Kensuke had to battle with
two hovering angels that had suddenly appeared. He was able to keep them
at arm's length using his arm blades, but couldn't get the killing
stroke in. "Tell me about it. Who would try to attack my Unit Ten from
the back? Its strength is defending its backside." He finally managed to
embed one of his arm blades into one Angel's stomach and he sliced
upwards and gutted the Angel. Body pieces flew everywhere.
"Well, any ideas on how to get through this Masturbating Bastard's
AT Field?"
Kensuke was fighting off the other Angel now and responded quickly.
"Unit Sixteen has a field overlap where the legs meet his hips."
Asuka smiled. "In other words, his groin."
"Yup."
"Thanks, Kensuke!" Asuka punched the Eva she was fighting in the
face and then reached for her progressive knife. In one swift motion,
she withdrew it from it's sheathe and thrust it into the blue Eva's
groin. The Eva's AT Field collapsed and Asuka sliced upwards with the
knife, quickly disemboweling her opponent. "A fitting end for a
Masturbating Bastard like you." She chuckled, but then suddenly swore
when her energy alarm went of. "Shit! Kensuke, he's going to blow!!"
Kensuke turned his head away from his opponent for a second just as
the Eva Asuka had gutted exploded. He and the Angel were blasted across
the battlefield along with bits of Asuka's Unit Two. His displays
flickered and died. "Shit."
He scrambled out of his entry plug and saw Asuka doing the same.
"Damn, there's still four more Eva's to take care of."
Asuka nodded. "I think I saw Hikari take one out before we were
blown up. Let's get to the displays outside and see how the others are
doing."
The two teenagers ran out to the displays outside and spotted Rei.
"You bought it too, Rei?"
Rei nodded slowly. "Yes, sorry guys... I messed up."
"If only we could return to the game..." Kensuke muttered.
"Not in tournament play... but at least it's three on three now."
Asuka pointed at the display, which showed that Hikari had in fact
killed another Eva unit. The teams in the championship tournament had
anywhere from five to eight players. If a team had less than eight
players, they could use drone Evas as substitutes, but they usually
didn't last long.
"I felt like a drone in there... getting killed so soon," Rei said,
looking sadly at the ground.
Asuka patted Rei on her back. "Don't worry about it... this is only
the first game, you'll get back into your stride. You are our best Eva
pilot after all."
Rei gasped at hearing the admission from Asuka. "Um... thank you."
"But don't let it go to your head... I'll get better and better and
put you to shame, girlfriend."
Rei smiled and gave Asuka a quick hug. "Thank you."
Asuka blushed a bit at the hug, but figured Rei needed a little
boost to get over whatever had been bothering her lately.
"Damn... Shinji's fallen into a nest of Angels."
Asuka looked up at the display screen. "Damn, what kind of sick
programmer would have slaughtering baby Angels as part of a game?"
Rei flinched. <My grandmother, that's who.> She looked sadly at the
cute little yellow Angels that had tails shaped like lightning bolts. <I
wonder what she has against that poor little creature that she would
include that massacre as part of the game?>
On the screen, they could see Shinji dealing with the baby Angels,
but it was preventing him from helping Hikari and Touji who were
surrounded by the last three enemy Evas.
Asuka flinched when she saw one of Shinji's arms ripped off. "We
may not win this one."
"Shinji will do it. I know he will," Rei said softly.
-E- -V- -A-
Hikari hacked an arm off one of her attackers, but it regenerated
into a human arm in seconds. "Shit, I hate the models with S2 engines
built in." She traded more blows with her attacker, trying to see if
Touji was having any luck with the two he was locked between. "Touji?"
"Just handle that one. I'll get these two... somehow." Touji's tone
of voice didn't reassure Hikari.
"Okay, Slick." Hikari tried to find an opening in her opponent's
defense, but couldn't find any. <Unlike his teammates, this Masturbating
Bastard's good, dammit.>
The little dance went on, Touji managed to keep the two attacking
him from killing him, but couldn't take out either of his opponents
without the other killing him afterwards. Hikari chopped various pieces
of her attacker off, only to have them regenerate and hadn't been able
to get to its S2 engine yet.
Suddenly, Touji's proximity alarm went off. "Shit." He looked up
into the sky to see a large flat Angel falling from the sky. "Extend
your AT field, Hikari!!"
Hikari looked up just before the Angel hit the ground and exploded.
-E- -V- -A-
Asuka gasped at the screen showing the explosion and flying Eva
parts. "Shit..."
Rei wrung her hands. "Did it kill all the Evas? Since Shinji's
still alive..."
Kensuke looked closely at the display. "I think everyone in the
area was... Damn, one of the blue team is still alive."
"God-dammed Masturbating Bastard!" Asuka shouted, earning some
stares from the crowd watching the tournament. Asuka glared at them.
"Hey, it's their god-dammed team name!! So mind your own business,
assholes!!"
-E- -V- -A-
"Picka... picka... picka..."
Shinji sliced the last of the sickening cute Angel babies in half
and it exploded making a long 'chooo' sound. Before Shinji could look
around the battlefield, he was tackled from behind.
The two Evas tumbled across the battlefield locked in a tight
embrace.
"Shit," Shinji gasped. <Damn, I forget... What is Unit Thirteen's
weakness?> He continued to fend off the attacks of as he tried to recall
the best way to defeat this model. He managed to break his enemy's hold
on his arm and did a couple of back flips--not a easy task with only one
arm--to gain some time and distance while he worked out a plan.
A quick glance at his display showed that he and this Eva were the
only two players left. <Well, that means it's all up to me.> As he ran
around a mushroom shaped building, the solution to his problem occurred
to him.
-E- -V- -A-
The four in the theater sat on the floor and watched the match on
the viewpoint intensely.
"Damn, looks like the so-called Mighty Third Child's going to lose
it in the first round," Asuka muttered, between gulps of popcorn.
"No, he isn't." Rei said softly.
Shinji's hand was clenched shut tightly as he tried to will his
other self to win. "Come on... you can do it."
"You're taking this way too seriously, Shinji. It's not real."
"Maybe, but for now it is... and they all need this win to have
some happiness. Even if it doesn't last..."
"It will, Shinji, somehow it will turn out okay," Misato insisted,
placing a gentle hand on Shinji's shoulder.
"You are all clueless!" Asuka shouted. "That world sucks... I know
it... Misato USED to know it, but now she's become such a mother and has
lost touch with reality... and Rei... well Rei is blinded by her lust
for Shinji."
Shinji didn't even hesitate. "Just stop it, Asuka! Reality sucks
and this is all we have left now."
Asuka glared at him. "Is it really? Or have you just stopped
caring?"
"Caring about what?"
"Living."
-E- -V- -A-
Shinji thrust the knife into the base of his opponent's neck and
drove it as deep as it could, and then some. After a quick twist of the
knife, the head fell apart, blood gushed everywhere, and the headless
corpse crashed to the ground. Shinji looked around for anything else to
kill, before remembering that that had been the last one.
That was confirmed a second later when his display exploded with
fireworks and a message indicating that the Dark Eva Knights had won the
match scrolled across the display. Shinji allowed himself to relax.
"That was too close." He opened his entry plug. Before he could step
out, he was dragged out and tortured as five people hugged the stuffing
out of him.
"Nice job, Shinji!!"
"Way to go, Pal!"
"Nice move at the end!"
"You were wonderful! Such a stallion!"
"What a stud!" Asuka's praise was followed by a long kiss.
Shinji blushed and avoided eye contact with everyone else after the
kiss ended. "Thanks, but you shouldn't kiss me in public like that."
"Oh, who cares! We're all friends here! Okay, let's go celebrate
the first win of many for the Dark Eva Knights!!"
-E- -V- -A-
A group of seven boys and one girl watched the gang leave the Eva
center. "Are you sure they're the team to beat? They looked a little
rough in there."
A tall, skinny boy nodded. "I'm sure. With her on their team, they
will get to the final round. And I'm not sure we can beat them with her
there."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because I know that girl... she's good. On the battlefield and in
bed."
"So what'll we do, Hasamoto?"
"We make sure she can't play with them anymore." Hasamoto cracked
his knuckles . He and his friends stealthily followed Rei and the gang
out of the Eva Center.
-E- -V- -A-
Back in Tokyo-3, Shinji's mom answered the door to their apartment.
"Yes?"
The policeman in the doorway bowed slightly. "Good evening, Ma'am.
Do you recognize either of these kids?" He held out two photos for her
to see. One of Rei looked like a mug shot and the one of Shinji looked
to be from his school yearbook.
Yui gasped. "Um... that's my son and his... friend Rei. Are they all
right? Did something happen?"
"They are fine as far as I know, but I think we need to talk,
Ma'am." Inside the young policeman cheered. <Yes, finally tracked down
those two brats. Now the chief won't be able to fire me.>
A sinking feeling hit Yui as she let the policeman in. "Gendou!
Get your butt out here!"
[End - Garden of EVA 1:3 - Championships Suck!]
=======================================================================
Author's notes/ramblings:
What? You thought that running away from the cop would solve their
problem that easily? Haven't you've been paying attention? Their world
sucks.
I'd like to thank my pre-readers Johan Holmberg, Axel Terizaki, Johan
Holmberg, EBJ, and Thomas C. Kinnen for helping me find and fix problems
with this story.
Revision 0.0 - Initial draft (June 1, 1999)
Revision 0.1 - Pre-reader draft (June 20, 1999)
Revision 0.2 - FFML draft (July 1, 1999)
-=-
Jim Lazar
E-Mail - mailto:jimlazar@earthlink.net
FanFiction - http://home.earthlink.net/~jimlazar/anime
-=-
Ranko leaned in and kissed Ukyo again. Mostly she wanted to know if
the same feeling was there again. It was.
At this moment, being the worse possible moment for them to do so,
Ranma and Akane came into the restaurant looking for Ranko. They found
her, but neither of them expected to find her like this.
"What the hell are you doing with my fiancee!" Akane shouted.
-=-
Excerpt from Childhood of a Modern Dynasty Chapter 5