Donald Arganbright wrote:

Hoi,

(snip the flick)

 would appreciate any and all comments on this. If anyone wouldlike >to
join up with me to build this into a decent fic, just let me know.

        Thanks!

Jed

   Taking my seat amoung the top 1000 Spider-man fans has not always been an
easy task.  And I am always skeptical whenever someone tries to make a
Spider-man story/cross-over/series.  However this one is very good.  I like
the way it flowed and really didn't have any problems with it.  I think that
you chose the right character to inherit the spider power.

   The only sugestion that I have, and it really wouldn't require alot of
rewite is rather than giving the powers of peter parker.  Howzibout the
powers of Miguel O'Hare (sp?)... the Spider-man of 2099.  Not really much
has changed power/ability wise but the physical aspects of how his powers
work are a little different.

It would just be something to break the mold of the radioactive <insert
object here> affected the guy and now hes got super powers cliche.  Heck it
could even be a simple as having one of Hikiru's voodoo spell actually work
(Completely by mistake, mind you).

Keep Writing

Jayden Storm

Maybe a spell connected with the Incan/Mayan/ whatever god, Anasazi?
(Think I got the name right.) I think he was connected with spiders...

Chad Walker, cswvna@hotmail.com (main)
cswvna@mail.austasia.net (FFML / alternate)