Well, my general rule of thumb for LoZ fics is to hit Delete - I've
(until now) never seen one that interested me.  This was a bit of a
surprise. ;)
 

"Excuse me," Link approached the young girl with reddish hair.  The
closer he got, the more certain he was that he'd met her somewhere
before.  But why couldn't he remember?

	Link w/amnesia?  Interesting... don't think I've seen that one
before.

"Hi!  Can I help you with something," the girl asked 
cheerfully as Link
stared at her.  Suddenly a word formed in his head.

"Maron," he said, frowning in concentration.  "Your name is Maron."

	I could be wrong (not at home so I can't start up the game), but
wasn't her name Malon?  Of the Lon Lon Ranch, right?

"Wow!" exclaimed the girl.  "You're right!  How did you know my name?"
she asked curiously.  "Have we met before?"

"I don't know," Link answered truthfully.  "I really don't know."

"That's okay, Psychic Boy," Maron said, smiling brightly.  "Let me
introduce myself.  My name's Maron, from Lon Lon Ranch.  I came here
today with my father.  He went to the castle to deliver some milk, but
he still hasn't come back.  I bet he fell asleep again!"  The girl
pouted a little and stomped her foot cutely.  "He always does that."

	Hmm... aside from Link's forgetfulness, this seems to be directly
from the game.  I do hope you're just setting up...


<snip>

"If you meet me by the castle gate tonight, I'll give you something
special," Maron whispered in Link's ear, startling him.  
Maron giggled.

	O_o  Okay....  Hmm... this might be more interesting, after all. ;)

Link smiled at her.  Even though he'd just met her, he felt like he'd
known her for a long time.

	I feel it is my duty to inform you that, at this point, I am utterly
confused.  Not in a bad way, but....

*********

Navi watched in horror as Zelda took the Master Sword from Link's
unconcious body.  

	<blink blink>

	<BLINK BLINK>

	_Zelda_?  Navi watching 'in horror'?  Confusion rides again!

"Link!  Link!  Wake up!!" Navi screamed, flitting back and forth.
Princess Zelda had played the Ocarina of Time, and it seemed that she
had sent Link's spirit into the past.  Always before Navi had 
been able
to follow Link across the passage of time, but this time 
she'd been left
behind.  How could she help Link now?

Zelda watched the little fairy with amusement.  "It's too late," she
told the hysterical fairy with a smirk.  "You can't reach him 
from here
anymore."

	I don't think I like this Zelda very much...

Navi suddenly felt very alone and very afraid.  She knew that she
couldn't fight Zelda.  She decided to try to appeal to the princess of
Hyrule.

	Should princess be capitalized?

<snip>

"No," Zelda said, fingering the hilt of the Master Sword.  
"As I am now,
I only rule this dead castle and a few loyal subjects.  But the Zora,
the Goron, the Gerudo, and even the Kokiri are all threats to my rule.
They must be bent to my will.  I will unify this land under one ruler,
and that ruler will be me.  It is my holy duty, as the bearer of the
Triforce of Wisdom and the heir to the throne of the Castle of Hyrule!
And then, there will truly be peace in this land."  Navi felt a sick
sense of dread at Princess Zelda's words.  It was clear to 
her that she
needed to find help.  

	Ok.  This Zelda is just plain evil!  While it's not the first time
I've seen this particular concept, I have to admit that it's the first I've
seen where Zelda planned the whole thing from the word go.


<snip>  

"Although I
doubt they'd believe you, there's no point in taking chances.  Did you
forget, little fairy?  I posess the Triforce of Wisdom.  I don't make
mistakes."  

	My only comment about this is, be careful you don't write yourself
into a corner.  Someone who's all-knowing is a really hard person to defeat.

<snip>

Maron had fallen to the ground, but had somehow managed to protect the
egg that she held carefully in her hands.  She stared in shock at the
dead Skulltula, and then looked up at Link.  He hoped she wouldn't
scream or panic.

"THAT WAS SO AWSOME!!!" Maron cried, jumping to her feet.  "I didn't
know you had a sword, Psychic Boy!!  Here," she said, 
thrusting the egg
into his hand and grabbing his sword.  "Let me try!"

	Well, she didn't panic. ;)

	BTW, 'awsome' should be 'awesome'. 


<snip>

"Princess Zelda," Link announced.  "I've returned."

	... and I want my fairy back!

	;)

Zelda blinked twice.  

"I'm sorry, but," she replied, "do I know you?"


TBC in chapter 2  


jcaliff@nsai-petro.com       

	Overall, nice job.  I do hope you aren't going to just follow along
the game storyline.  You've got a situation here that could be interesting,
and could easily lead many strange places (maybe Link teams up with
Ganondorf in an uneasy alliance to wrest control away from the power-hungry
Zelda?  Just a thought.)
	Good writing, and I'm looking forward to chapter two.

	Brian Payne
	sofaspud@ior.com
	brianp@nhspokane.com
	Sofaspud's Couch - fanfiction archive.  Contributions welcome!
	http://www.ior.com/~sofaspud