Hoi,

(snip the flick)

 would appreciate any and all comments on this. If anyone wouldlike >to 
join up with me to build this into a decent fic, just let me know.

        Thanks!

Jed

   Taking my seat amoung the top 1000 Spider-man fans has not always been an 
easy task.  And I am always skeptical whenever someone tries to make a 
Spider-man story/cross-over/series.  However this one is very good.  I like 
the way it flowed and really didn't have any problems with it.  I think that 
you chose the right character to inherit the spider power.

   The only sugestion that I have, and it really wouldn't require alot of 
rewite is rather than giving the powers of peter parker.  Howzibout the 
powers of Miguel O'Hare (sp?)... the Spider-man of 2099.  Not really much 
has changed power/ability wise but the physical aspects of how his powers 
work are a little different.

It would just be something to break the mold of the radioactive <insert 
object here> affected the guy and now hes got super powers cliche.  Heck it 
could even be a simple as having one of Hikiru's voodoo spell actually work 
(Completely by mistake, mind you).

Keep Writing

Jayden Storm


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