ABSOLUTE ZERO wrote:

authors note: well what do you think so far not much yet ut this will be
appart a much bigger story I will begin writing soon. Any proof reading

is

very much appreciated.(sorry for the grammer and spelling I will clean it

up

soon)

Next time clean up the spelling and grammar BEFORE you post the fic. It
was so bad I was barely able to understand a thing. I'd have just hit
delete after the first couple of paragraphs if the whole thing hadn't been
so short. There's little that irks readers more than really lousy grammar
and basic spelling mistakes, and you do want your fic to be read, yes?


As to the fic itself, well, it's really nothing more than picking up where
episode 13 left off. It helps set the time frame and mindset of Tokimi,
but aside from that not much else happens. I'll need to see more
before I can make any judgements.

D.B. Sommer