D.B.'s Disclaimer

This is not my fic, but Jim Bader's. I'm posting it for him (with his
permission) since he's not on the list, and I thought some others might
get a kick out of it. You can send comments to me and I'll relay them to
him.

On to the fic....


Genma Saotome's Time and Space Misadventures

Act One:

Conan 1/2

By
Jim Robert Bader

(Based on the works of Rumiko Takahashi
and Robert E Howard)

Prologue.



One of the many drawbacks of owning your own business while graduating
your final years of High School was that you had to take responsibility
for handling your own finances.  Afternoon drop periods at the end of the
week were a fairly routine matter, but it also tended to remind her a lot
of the fact that she effectively had no social life.  Fridays were meant
for girls her age to get ready to party, but all she had on her mind was
tally sheets and account balance numbers.

Not exactly anyone's idea of a fun weekend, unless your name was Tendo
Nabiki.  For Kuonji Ukyo, however, it was another name for a slow kind of
mental torture.  Being an independent business woman did not amount to
much if you had nothing to look forward to at the end of the day but a
cold bed on the second floor above your restaurant.  Nothing like the sort
of warm greeting she sometimes imagined having with the object of her
desire and affection greeting her warmly in her fondest and dearest
fantasy moments.

If only something would happen to break up the monotony, she thought to
herself as she stood in line for the nearest available bank teller.
Waiting around in a crowd left her with too much time to think, which did
not suit her mood at all as she fretted to herself with images of Ranma
and Akane in a romantic interlude, which was a different kind of torture.

Of late life had fallen into a depressing kind of pattern what with the
end of the school year looming with finals and career-breaking grade
points that would give or deny access to the best business schools and
colleges of preference.  Far better if she could concentrate on that then
upon the depressing prospect that graduation also brought closer to home
the time of Ranma's impending marriage to Akane.  After the disastrous
first wedding, Ranma had warned her against a repeat of her disruptive
performance, then in typical guy-mode had even offered her the role of
"best man," in other words ring-bearer.  Like a sap she had agreed to go
along with this charade, even though she wanted nothing more than to plant
another bomb in the wedding cake.  Just thinking about it even more fully
depressed her.  If only something could take her mind off her broken
heart, if only for an hour...

"All right, this is a stickup!  Nobody move!"

Ukyo turned as the other bank patrons and employees cried out, seeing
masked holdup men flashing weapons in a threatening manner.  She took note
of the guns...two pistols, a machine gun and a shotgun by the look of it,
held by four different men flanking out to take the bank security officers
by complete surprise.

Ukyo was more than a little surprised herself.  Guns were very rare in
Japan, and most that were in circulation were controlled by organized
groups like the Yakuza.  Private ownership of any kind was strictly
discouraged, and the penalties for criminal usage were so severe that few
small-time hoods--such as these appeared to be--would dare such a brazen
day-light robbery like some Americanized action movie.

To gain possession of such an assortment as these boys displayed would
have to imply that they had connections of one form or another.  They did
not seem to be all that professional as she watched them in action, nor
could she seriously credit that any well-organized gang would strike at a
small-time outfit like this bank without a heck of a good reason.

"Everyone down on the floor!" the one who had spoken before was shouting,
quite obviously their leader as he waved his pistol to make people comply
with his instructions, "Keep your hands where we can see them and nobody
will get hurt, I mean it!"

Ukyo sniffed in disdain.  Their leader even talked like he thought this
was some American movie set, as if the mere possession of a weapon gave
him the authority to order people around like they were cattle ready for
slaughter.

Many of the patrons in the bank instantly did as they were told, falling
to the floor while screaming out in a blind panic while the other gunmen
kept them covered.  No shots had been fired as yet, meaning these guys
wanted to keep from alarming anyone outside the building or give any hint
as to what was going down.   The leader shoved his gun at one teller whose
hands could not be seen and ordered the nervous lady to keep them up where
they can be seen, obviously alert to the threat of a silent alarm being
sounded.  He was about to demand that cash be brought out and put into
portable bags when he took notice of one irregularity of his plans.

Ukyo was just standing there watching everything with an amused
expression.  She was taking note of the position of these men and
estimating their fighting potential at a glance, thinking how Japan's
strict gun laws still had a ways to go before it was entirely effective at
keeping little boys from their toys.  In a word, it was perfect.

"What are you smiling at?" the man growled as he immediately turned his
gun in her direction, "Hands on the floor now, guy---"

CLANNNGGG!!!

Ukyo's amusement was only mildly tempered by the thought that she had once
again been mistaken for a boy on account of the way she dressed.  Of
course her change in mood did not affect her aim as three mini-spatulas
cut through the air, knocking the shotgun out of one man's hands while the
third spatula imbedded itself in the wrist of the second pistol-holding
gunman.  That left the fourth man with the machine gun, who was turning a
horrified look her way as Ukyo made an impossible leap half the length of
the bank, and suddenly his vision was filled by a giant spatula coming
straight at him like a humungous flyswatter...



"Come along everyone," Tendo Soun said brightly, "The Museum exhibit is
that way, and we should be just in time to see the grand opening."

"Big deal," Akane griped, "It's just some old junk somebody dug up out of
the ground.  I don't know what all the fuss is about..."

"It's not just any junk, Akane-chan," Nabiki informed her, "These
artifacts are a recently unearthed collection from a very old site that
was carbon dated to be of a much greater age than any other works of a
high civilization yet encountered.  They were found just off the coast of
Hokkaido, submerged in a cavern that hasn't seen human habitation in at
least twelve thousand years..."

"Twelve thousand years?" Ranma replied, "I didn't think anybody lived in
Japan that far back."

"Oh my," Kasumi remarked, "Isn't that right before the end of the last ice
age, Nabiki?  I remember reading an article out that in one of
Tofu-Sensei's magazines..."

"You got it, Sis," Nabiki replied, "Twelve thousand years ago much of the
north and south poles were covered in ice and the sea level was about a
hundred meters lower than it is today.  The cave would have been above
water, so whoever left them there was part of a previously unknown
civilization, one that apparently know how to work metal millennia before
the Chinese, Egyptians and Sumerians.  This flies against all known
theories concerning human development, which is why the school thought it
would make a good Science project for us students."

"Fascinating," Genma said without much conviction, "Say, do you know if
they have a concession stand for purchasing food inside the museum?"

"Don't you never think of nothing but your own stomach, Pop?" Ranma
growled in disdain.

"Of course I do, Boy," Genma replied, "I think of a lot of things, such as
how I'm going to get food in it..."

"That figures," Ranma snorted.

"Like you're in any position to talk, Ranma," Akane said with equal
disdain, "You're even more of a bottomless pit than he is!  About the only
kind of food you won't eat is my cooking!"

"Gee, I wonder why?" Ranma rolled his eyes, "Could be because nothing
human could eat that--ow!  What did you do that for?"

"Quit it, children," Nabiki chimed, "We're almost at the front doors to
the museum.  Remember, this is for extra credit on your final term
reports, so act like we're actually here to learn something, shall we?"

"That's right," Soun said as he reached for his wallet, "Let's all act
like one happy family and try to get along.  I...that's strange," he
frowned, "I thought I had five thousand yen in my wallet.  What could have
happened to all that money?"

"Gee, I wonder," Ranma said with a sour look, eyeing his father with
suspicion, who in turn was whistling off key while studying a bird
formation far overhead.

"Oh my," said Kasumi, "I guess that means we won't be able to afford the
price of admission."

"Not to worry, Sis," Nabiki smiled as she stood forward, pulling out her
own wallet from the concealment of a money belt she was wearing, "It just
so happens that I'm feeling generous today, so I'll pay for our tickets.
You can reimburse me for it later, Daddy."

"Huh?" Akane, Ranma and Genma all reacted in disbelief while Soun broke
out in a smile of fatherly pride and said, "That's my little girl, always
thinking of the family.  Well, step lively everyone, it's bound to be
quite a show, and I for one expect to have a good time.  I'm sure this
exhibit will be full of all sorts of interesting surprises."

"Oh father," Kasumi smiled indulgently, as always the only one who did not
visibly recoil from Nabiki's unexpected display of generosity, or
outwardly suspect her of ulterior motives.

Nabiki just smiled to herself, not having shared everything she had read
up about this exhibit.  If what she had heard was accurate, then there was
a potential for profit to be had in this exhibition, and she had no
intention of missing out because of the greed of Saotome Genma.  The man
was such an amateur anyway...as if Nabiki had not caught him earlier
rifling through her father's wallet for money to buy sake.  It had been
like stealing candy from a baby to lift the fifty-yen off of him while he
nervously sweated as she pretended to dust lint off his gi.  It was the
same fifty yen that she was using to pay for their admittance, and the
best part of it all was that her father now owed her the money!

Her smile deepening with anticipation, she and the others paid for their
tickets then entered the museum...little realizing that history was about
to be in the re-making...



"Is he still after us?" cried one of the three remaining hoodlums to his
equally frantic comrades.

"I don't see him!" said the driver, "We must have lost that maniac two
blocks ago!  Nobody could catch us on foot now, it'd be physically
impossible!"

"Oh yeah?' said the third hoodlum in the back, who was feeling along his
numerous bumps and bruises he had taken, not to mention the considerable
amount of broken glass that had cut and scraped him when he had made a
backward exit through the front window of the bank, courtesy of one
Spatula to the face, "Well, it's not possible that he could take out three
of our guys in just two seconds, but I saw it happen!  I'm lucky to be
alive--that son-of-a-bitch was effin' crazy!"

"This was just supposed to be a simple heist," said the second man as he
tried to staunch the flow of blood from the mini-spatula that had imbedded
itself in his left wrist, "An easy in and out job, grab the money and run!
When the Boss hears about this we're all gonna catch hell!"

"Damn, who was that crazy with the spatula anyway?" the driver asked,
"Doesn't he know the rules about bank heists?  You're supposed to lay down
and do what we say when we take their money..."

"Somebody forgot to tell him," the second man snorted, "Good thing you had
that mask on, Shiro, or you might be hurting a lot worse..."

"Do tell?" groaned the man in the back, "Well, let me tell you something,
Tombo..."

"Save it for later," the driver said, "Just be glad we got clean away.
Now all we have to do is think of some way to explain this to the Ronin
and..."

He never got the chance to complete his sentence before something came
down and imbedded itself into the block of his car engine.  Said vehicle
rocked on all four wheels to an abrupt stop as the gunmen stared in
disbelief at a pair of black-clad legs striding the hood of the ruined
vehicle.  With a mighty yank the large Bakers Peel was pulled loose from
the steel and aluminum engine, then one second later the entire roof of
the car was sheered loose as if torn free by a giant with a can opener.

"Going somewhere, Boys?" said the alleged maniac who had thwarted their
bank heist.  She smiled down at the newly re-made convertible and
brandished her spatula before adding, "Care to make this easy, or do you
want it the hard way?"

The driver made the mistake of going for his gun, attempting to plug her.
The other two men more wisely jumped out of the vehicle and started
running while Ukyo used the flat of her weapon to deflect the single shot
fired at her, then said spatula imbedded itself against the skull of the
driver, knocking him comatose.

Ukyo turned with a smile at the two fleeing felons.  It had been easy to
catch up with their car once she had taken to the rooftops, and it would
be much easier now to catch them on foot, not that she was in any great
hurry to bring an end to her entertainment.  The chase was just the thing
she had needed to liven up her day, now all she had to do was track two
helpless mice and turn them over to the police and the diversion would be
over.

Of course while she was thinking this she failed to take notice of the
building towards which the two disarmed gunmen were heading.  A belated
glance reminded her that it was the Museum where she had promised to meet
up with Ranma and the others, the one where they were having an
Antiquities Exhibition for extra school credit.  As she made sense of all
this she saw the two hoodlums charge up the steps to the front doors then
push their way past the protesting museum guards, then belatedly chided
herself for not acting sooner.  Once again she had allowed herself to be
critically distracted by thoughts of her beloved Ranma!

Cursing softly under her breath she went charging in pursuit, only to be
balked by the two guards, who had just recovered their footing and were
not about to be taken by surprise a second time.  In their eyes Ukyo
looked like some kind of a madwoman flashing her bakers peel like a broad
ax.  She considered knocking them down, then a thought occurred to her and
she resettled her weapon across her back, putting on her best "cute-girl"
charms with a smile to distract them.

"Pardon me, sirs, but those men you let slip by you are a couple of
dangerous thieves that tried to rob a bank about two kilometers away from
here.  I was trying to detain them for the police..."

"Oh yeah, sure," said one of the two guards, "And I'm the Prime
Minister..."

"Ah..." the second guard belatedly took notice of the girl then more
tactfully asked, "You wouldn't happen to be Kuonji Ukyo, would you?  The
other of Ucchan's Okonomiyaki?"

"Sure," Ukyo replied, "Best Okonomiyaki in Japan.  You've been to my
place?"

The guard stepped back and waved a hand, "Right this way, and enjoy the
exhibition."

"Thank you," she smiled dazzlingly at him before nimbly stepping past
while the other guard looked askance at his partner.

"Are you nuts?" that guard demanded, "What did you let her in for...?"

"This is Furinkan," the other guard replied.

"So?" his partner looked puzzled.

"You haven't been around here as long as I have," the guard said with
comradely indulgence, "Believe me, nothing ever good comes from messing
with her kind.  If she wanted to get in here bad enough there's nothing we
could do about it."

Something in the tone of his companion made the other guard hesitated a
little before asking, "So...what should we do?"

"Notify our superiors," the guard replied, "Evacuate the building...and
say a prayer to the ancestors of those two men she's after...they're going
to need it...'



"...And this is where the expedition made its most astonishing
discoveries," the tour guide was explaining to their group while they
passed a number of display cases containing ancient artifacts and various
items of interest, "All dating back to the same general period that carbon
testing has shown to be the middle-to-late Neolithic period just prior to
the ending of the last Ice Age.  Considering the sophistication and
complexity of these items, they imply a technology that is millennium
ahead of anything previously discovered for this region, predating even
the earliest pottery shards found in Japan dating back 12,700 years, a
period that has been tentatively labeled the Hyborean era..."

"Excuse me," Nabiki asked brightly, "Why the name Hyborean?  I understand
it's based on a Greek term having to do with their mythology..."

"Quite right," the tour guide--a stunning blonde Caucasian woman who spoke
excellent Japanese--said brightly, "But the actual name was coined by one
of those who discovered the sunken caves, based on a Western fantasy
series by the late American author, Robert E. Howard.  Hyborea was
supposedly an Antediluvian period where men had already discovered how to
smelt iron and had domesticated horses, something modern Archeology had
not believed was accomplished until fairly recent times..."

"8000 BC for domesticated animals," Nabiki said, "1200 BC for the
development of iron weapons.  But you're saying these people had both
prior to 10,000 BC?"

"That is the implication of this discovery," the guide smiled as if
appreciating an intelligent question, "Among the artifacts uncovered was a
horse's bridle, a pair of stirrups, the remains of a pair of saddlebags
and a number of personal items we are still in the process of identifying.
The bag also contained a pouch full of milled grain--something else we
never believed had been accomplished that early--and the desiccated
remains of goat milk powder.  We also found a number of scrolls in a
writing that predates the earliest form of Sanskrit, proving that these
were a literate people, which is something else we never suspected.  In
all the culture appears to resemble that of early Byzantium, or the late
Roman Empire.  Just why exactly this culture completely vanished the way
it did is a mystery, though current theory holds that it was the end of
the Ice Age that reduced this advanced civilization to stone ages
barbarism."

"Why is that?" Akane asked, "If they were so modern how could they just
vanish like that?"

"Around 9,500 BC, when the Ice Age ended suddenly in a period of something
like twenty years or so," the guide explained, "The ocean levels of the
world rose by hundreds of feet, in some places so suddenly that it caused
massive flooding and a widespread dislocation of all life.  This is in
common with the tradition found in all surviving cultures throughout the
world of a global flood that nearly extinguished all life.  Most
civilizations, you see, build their structures very close to the coastline
or along river banks and tributaries.  Water is the most precious
substance in the world, so you can't really have a city without a source
to draw from."

"Right," Nabiki smiled, "Only too much of a good thing can be deadly."

"Exactly," the guide nodded brightly, "The rise in ocean levels would have
even affected areas far inland and caused such widespread dislocation that
the entire civilization itself would be threatened.  Cut off from land and
sea routes of communication and even the most advanced empire will
collapse within a generation.  With many fields flooded out and weather
cycles changing dramatically the people living in an average city would
have faced widespread starvation.  Mass immigration in the past has often
been triggered by such sudden changes in the climate, and the survivors of
such a crisis would likely have come into immediate competition with other
surviving groups.  Even hunter-gatherers would have been forced to compete
for limited game and diminishing resources, on the whole it would have
been hard for any civilization to survive such a challenge.  Struggling
just to find food would mean few enough people would have a need to
preserve writing and communication skills, so survival might depend on
adapting to the most basic survival skills, hence a return to the
pre-technological culture of the stone age."

"Hah," Ranma snorted, "Guess that means you'd have made out all right,
Pop."

"I prefer to think of myself as ahead of my time," Genma sniffed, "And a
superior martial artist can survive any kind of crisis."

The guide resumed the tour, only now coming up along a wall display that
had a man-like figure posed with sword in hand, bare chested and heavily
muscled with long black hair and wearing nothing but a pair of boots and a
loin cloth.  He was set against a false stone backdrop resembling the
walls of a cave, and though he was no more than a plaster replica of a man
there was something in his fierce expression that made the group pay
special notice.

"This is an impression we made based on the body found inside the cave,"
the woman resumed, "The man was of a pretty advanced age for the time,
about seventy or so, but very powerful and apparently still in extremely
fit condition.  He was a virtual giant, close to six and a half feet even,
or one-point-nine-five meters and must have weighed something in the
neighborhood of a hundred kilograms even.  This is far more physically
advanced than the Ice Man discovered in the mountain steps of Anatolia a
few years back and implies that the people of this era were not only more
technically advanced but medically advanced as well.  The body we examined
had evidence of countless wounds that must have been taken in battle.  We
believe he was a professional soldier of some sort as was evidenced by the
weapon found at his side, almost in pristine condition.  Analysis of the
sword proves it to be of an extremely advanced manufacture with a higher
than normal carbon steel ratio that could only have been forged by use of
a powerful blast furnace.  There are also trace elements of molybdenum and
silver in its makeup, suggesting that it came from iron ore deposits rich
in such material, but as yet we cannot determine who had the ability to
create such a weapon.  On the whole the entire finding is a complete
anomaly.  It defies everything we thought we knew about anthropology and
the development of human evolution, language and culture..."

"Oh my," remarked Kasumi, "This is so fascinating!  What do you make of
this, Ranma?  Ranma?"

"Huh?" Ranma shook himself out of a daze, finding something about the
giant that was oddly familiar, though what it was he could not have said
if his life depended on it.

"He looks like that guy from the Arnold Swartzenegger movie," Nabiki
sniffed, "Is that deliberate or a coincidence?"

"A little of both, actually," the guide replied, "Robert E. Howard always
said that the idea for creating his fantasy hero came to him like out of a
dream, as if he were being compelled to write about someone who actually
lived in history.  He was a friend to many occult circles, and in frequent
correspondence with H.P. Lovecraft, and he did much of his own research in
the library of the little town of Cross Plains Texas, where he grew up.
Howard was a strange man by all accounts, always fanaticizing about
himself as the manifestation of his own heroes, setting his stories in
exotic locations, great times of heroic adventure, all this in spite of
the fact that he never went more than fifty miles from the place of his
birth.  Almost single-handedly he created the genre of Sword and Sorcery,
though when the Pulp era ended he was largely forgotten.  It is thanks to
the work of such literary greats as L. Sprang DeCamp and Lin Carter that
we now recognize in Howard an underappreciated literary genius..."

"I don't know about that," Nabiki mused, "They was a natural story teller,
but his style was crude and his female characters were rudimentary
archetypes, except for one or two who stood out from all the rest."

"How fascinating that he should write stories that turn out to approach an
unsuspected truth," Soun marveled, "Truly he was a man far ahead of his
time...but...what are those symbols written in that corner?" he pointed to
the wall of the display where could be plainly seen were several marks
scratched in the wall as if by a crude instrument.

"That is one of the greatest mysteries of all," the guide remarked, "The
symbols resemble modern kanji, and they even spell out a name that could
have belonged to the warrior: Genma."

"What?" everyone in the group but Nabiki reacted to this news with
astonishment, including Genma.

"The full text is only a few words long," the guide continued, "'It reads:
Genma was Here.'  We don't know if that was a coincidence or if the author
actually meant those words to be literal, which doesn't seem too likely as
we doubt that Japanese has survived that long as a written language."

"Genma was here?" Ranma turned and said, "What do you know about that,
Pop?"

"Nothing!" the elder Saotome protested, "Why should I know anything about
it, Son?  You think I was around to ask him?"

"Tell me something," Nabiki said slyly, "Those scrolls you uncovered, have
you managed to decipher them at all?"

"Well, considering the amount of time they were in that cave it is amazing
that they were in good enough condition to read at all," the woman
replied, "But yes...we have found a few symbols that make sense, plus some
illustrations showing a human figure in what we believe to be a number of
ceremonial dance steps.  It might be that they were part of some long
forgotten magical or religious ritual whose significance we..."

"Excuse me," Nabiki held up a hand, "Would you mind showing us what was
written on those scrolls?  I may have a few answers that your so-called
experts might have missed out on."

"Oh?" the guide reacted to this news with surprise while everyone else
eyed Nabiki as if to confirm their worst suspicions, "Well...we have this
replica made from photographs on display here..."

She pointed to a display case, and Nabiki casually walked up to these and
studied the photographs, then smiled and waved towards Ranma.

"Ranma-kun," she said with a sultry purr that implied she was on the scent
of money, "What do you make of all of this?"

"Huh?" Ranma walked up to the display case, glanced at the pictures then
did a double-take and said, "Pop!  Come here quick!  You ain't gonna
believe this!"

"Eh?" the elder Saotome remarked as he approached the glass, "What do you
mean, boy?  I..."

He stopped as his mouth fell open.  Akane and Soun came up beside him and
they, too, looked aghast at the photos of the ancient parchment.  The
figures displayed were not ceremonial dancers, they realized, but were
assuming crudely drawn martial arts postures of the Saotome School.  They
each knew the style so well that there was no question about the
authenticity of the katas.

"I believe we need to talk," Nabiki said to the tour guide, her smile all
but confirming that she had been right all along.  There was definitely
profit to be made at this exhibition...



"Is she still after us?" hissed one of the two fugitives as they both
peered around the corner inside the gallery, seeing the dark-garbed Ukyo
was still behind them.

"She doesn't give up!" the other man exclaimed in dismay, "What is that
bitch?  I thought she was a boy from the way she dresses..."

"That ain't no boy," the first of the two men explained, "She's some kind
of demoness from hell!  Nothing human could have taken us out like she
has!"

"What are we going to do?" the second man asked, "She's gonna keep right
after us until she nails us with that spatula-thing."

"We gotta find a better hiding place," the first decided, "C'mon, let's go
this way.  There's gotta be an exit that'll take us around back, and I
think I see an exit."

"I'm right behind you," the second man agreed as they both slipped out
from concealment and headed rapidly towards the door the first man had
spotted.

Unbeknownst to them both Ukyo caught and tracked their movement then
smiled in satisfaction.  Good, they were leaving the public area to a spot
that had fewer innocent bystanders.  She would let them get a good lead
then follow and finish them off without anyone getting hurt who did not
have it coming...



As the group was shown to one of the back rooms of the Museum they passed
by tables and stands where various projects were being gone over.  Dusty
parchments and various objects of archeological interest were being
cleaned up and examined here prior to their being presented on display,
and their guide informed them that this was one of the major functions of
museums such as this, doing vital research to insure the scientific
validity of the artifacts.

Of course what they also discovered was two men, both advanced in years,
presently engaging in a hand-to-hand brawl in the middle of a clear space.
At first glance Ranma wondered if this were some kind of Martial Arts
Archeology demonstration but a more thorough study assured him that there
was very little art to their movements. The two were mostly just punching,
biting and scratching like a couple of schoolyard punks who had never
taken even a single lesson.

The sight of them brawling also brought a rise out of their tour guide,
who called out, "Father!" and rushed forward to interpose herself between
the combatants.

"Ah," remarked Nabiki with her usual cynical detachment, "A scientific
debate currently in progress.  Just goes to prove that academic standards
haven't change much from the old days."

Akane and Ranma exchanged looks, then the two of them moved to help the
girl, and in good order they created a neutral zone between them while
Genma and Soun each held a struggling man in their respective embraces.

"Now what is this all about?" said the tour guide, who was no longer in a
pleasant mood as she flared at one man and then the other.

"He started it!" both men cried simultaneously while the blonde closed her
eyes and counted to ten in English.

"It's all his fault, Sophie!" a salty-grey bearded man in a lab coat spat,
glaring at the other man, "This...Philistine insists that our whole
research project is a ludicrous farce!  He insists we re-evaluate the
Carbon dating to adjust for conditions that he says would prejudice our
findings!"

"Philistine is it?" the other middle aged, clean shaven man flared, "The
Philistines were a cultured people, which is more than I can say for you!
Your so-called research is nothing more than a shoddy pretence at
glorifying the indulgence of while theories and unscientific speculation!
You're a discredit to our profession you glorified carpetbagger!"

"Carpetbagger is it?" the bearded man said in a huff, "At least I have the
integrity to keep an open mind when confronted by new evidence that
contradict long-cherished theories!"

"You call that integrity?" the other man scoffed, "I call it credulity of
the first order!  Your  so-called proposal would force an upheaval of the
entire body of scientific research compiled in the past two centuries, all
to suggest that there could even have been a civilization that early..."

"Are you saying that you're not even prepared to accept the possibility?"
the bearded man said in an outrage, struggling even harder to break loose
from Genma's firm hold, "It is the essence of every science to be prepared
to abandon worn out theories when they prove to be in error..."

"It is not the providence of science to accept fables as fact and fantasy
as valid scientific opinion!" the other man retorted.

"Gentlemen!" Nabiki stepped forward to join the blonde in the middle
ground between the angry researchers, "Perhaps we can come to a more
suitable arrangement if you will both calm yourselves down and allow a
purely disinterested observer to voice an objective opinion?"

"Uh oh," murmured Ranma, "Here comes the pitch."

"What do you mean?" the bearded man asked, "What middle ground is there
between me and this...pompous ass who calls himself a scientist?"

"And you claim to be one yourself?" the other man snorted, "You theories
are doggerel and that rag of a so-called Scientific journal that published
your findings isn't worth lining a birdcage!"

"I believe that name calling and insults won't accomplish anything here,"
Nabiki calmly insisted, "The fact remains that you guys have made a
fantastic discovery, one that potentially could force us to re-examine
everything we thought we knew about our past, am I correct?"

"Revise it," the beardless man said, "Not obliterate it altogether!"

"And yet you do admit that the findings in that cave challenge long held
beliefs concerning the linear descent of man," Nabiki asked the man in a
tone that was not actually a question, "The possibility that a prior,
unknown civilization could have existed at one time is not entirely
inconceivable you will admit?"

"Well..." the beardless man said, "Strictly speaking, nothing is ever
entirely beyond the realm of scientific possibility..."

"Then what's your problem?" Nabiki smiled, "If it could happen, then it
probably did happen, and you both can now claim evidence of an entirely
new area of archeology.  Think of the publicity, the follow up research
you now have to do...think of the grant money," she added with a hint of
genuine interest.

"But..." the beardless man persisted, "The scientific peer review is not
yet unanimous.  Professor Halgarth's discovery has triggered a scientific
firestorm among the Archeological circles.  It makes the discovery of King
Tut's tomb look like a minor feat of grave robbery..."

"But it does hold out the potential for new discoveries," Nabiki
insinuated, "Now that you have proof that something that old existed that
far back it should be possible for you to expand your search to other
areas never before considered in an archeological dig.  Think of
it...proof of a civilization over twelve thousand years old!  All you need
is one successful strike and you can have your names in the history books
along with Schlieman and Carter!  You can't afford to pass up on the
potential gold mine of research grant money you could be sitting upon if
you can obtain the interest of at least one wealthy backer, especially now
that we are here to provide you with a valuable key to the puzzle."

"What key?" said the bearded Professor Halgarth while Sophie eyed Nabiki
with a hint of suspicion.

In answer Nabiki pointed to Ranma and his father and said, "Gentlemen, I
present to you Saotome Genma and his son, Saotome Ranma, the heirs to the
Saotome school of Anything Goes Martial Arts, who can provide you with new
information regarding those scrolls that you uncovered...the ones you've
mistaken for ceremonial dance steps."

Both Genma and Ranma reacted to this with mutually surprised expressions,
giving Nabiki the chance to continue her pitch to the equally befuddled
Archeologists, "Think of it this way, Gentlemen, you've already discovered
that horses were domesticated, grain was cultivated and iron was forced
over ten thousand years before the so-called Iron Age.  Is it really so
surprising that somebody else might have come up with an art to fighting
utilizing the principles that were rediscovered in our own time?"

"Wait a minute," Ranma objected, "You're talking about our family's
special Ryu, Nabiki.  It's only been around for...what?  A couple
generations at most, right Pop?"

"Well," Genma adjusted his glasses, "Our system was actually founded by
Grand Master Happosai, who began his training with the Amazons of
China..."

"Exactly," Nabiki said, "Four thousand years of history right there, and
who knows who they got the idea from?  The Saotome and Tendo schools both
come from the same source, as do all other Martial Arts systems if you go
far enough back in time.  Ranma, be a dear and show them some of the moves
you saw on the photos of that parchment."

Ranma could not hide his suspicion, but he knew better than to cross
swords with Nabiki.  Instead he moved away from the work tables into a
clear area then proceeded to take a stance identical to one of the poses
on the scroll.  He performed the basic katas illustrated there, then
leaped into the air and assumed a flying dragon stamp-kick before coming
down to a graceful landing.

"Incredible!" said Professor Halgarth.

"Father," the guide named Sophie remarked, "He is performing the exact
movements on those scrolls!  Do you have any idea what this means?"

"Hold on!" said the beardless man, "It is an interesting theory but it
doesn't constitute proof..."

"No," Nabiki said slyly as she leaned closer to the man before adding,
"But think of the debate you could fire up in various articles for
publication in those selfsame 'journalistic rags' you were harping about a
moment ago.  Think of the tours and lectures you and your esteemed
colleague here might share while you present point and counterpoint before
audiences of your peers.  Why, if you both play your cards right you could
be on the gravy train for life!"

"I knew it," Ranma sighed, sharing an exasperated look with Akane.

"Yes," the beardless man seemed to be considering the point, "The fees for
giving such lectures could be quite...well, it's all in the name of
further scientific research."

"Of course," Nabiki smiled, "And I'm sure my Daddy and Uncle Saotome would
be happy to share their expertise in these matters...or a moderate service
fee, of course.  You'll be getting top-notch reference material from two
certified masters of the art representing a long and proud tradition that
our families now continue.  Think of it, gentlemen, a move-by-move
translation of the poses you see in those scrolls, giving you a key
reference point for translating the language that they're written in.  I
don't suppose I need to point out how that would further the rest of your
research?"

"Young lady," said Professor Halgarth, "That is an excellent idea!  Why
did we never think of taking the scrolls to be examined by a professional
athlete, Doctor Nadir?"

"I don't know, Halgarth," the beardless man remarked, "Perhaps we're just
too sophisticated to see such an obvious solution..."

"So," Genma smiled, "I'm to be an valued research consultant, eh?  What do
you say to that, Tendo-kun?"

"I'd say they came to the right couple of experts, Saotome," Soun beamed,
"The art is our livelihood, who else but us to help the cause of science?"

"But father," Kasumi spoke up, "Wouldn't it be more proper to ask
grandfather Happosai for his opinion?  After all, he is the Master of both
systems."

Nabiki, Genma and Soun all gave the eldest Tendo daughter looks of utter
askance, and it was plain from their expressions that they each shared the
opinion that including Happosai in any discussion regarding antiquities
and money was a very bad proposition.

"Might as well invite the old ghoul." Ranma snorted, "I'll bet she'd have
an opinion about a system this old."

"I think we can keep it strictly in the family for now," Nabiki said as
she recovered her composure, "Happosai might...um...have his own views
about this ancient a system, but he'd probably be distracted by other
concerns more near and dear to his heart," and without further elaboration
she gave Sophie a meaningful lookover.

"Huh," Ranma snorted, giving his father a sidelong glance, "First time
I've ever heard of you being considered a research consultant on anything
but how to be a shiftless good for nothing."

"Son," Genma looked at Ranma pleadingly before hissing, "Is that necessary
to bring up now...?"

Before the question was even completed two figures came bursting into the
studio area, moving at a dead run with the lead of the pair crying,
"Gangway!"

"Coming through!" said the other man, who tried to rudely shove his way
past Genma and Ranma.

Both Saotomes hardly wasted any motion catching the fleeing pair and
throwing them over with identical techniques.  The two men went flying
across the room as everyone else ducked, only to have their progress
impeded by the nearest work bench that intercepted their path.  They
crashed into it and fell to the floor in a pair of groaning heaps,
spilling everything atop it in all directions as Ranma and Genma
straightened out, hardly seeming bothered in the least by the sudden
interruption.

"Extraordinary!" declared Professor Halgarth."

"You two are indeed masters of your profession," marveled Doctor Nadir.

"That was amazing!" voiced Sophie as she gave Ranma a look of undisguised
admiration.

A third figure burst into the studio, only to halt in her tracks as she
took everything in with a single glance then said, "Ranchan?  What are you
doing here?"

"Ucchan?" Ranma replied in equal surprise, "I was about to ask you the
same thing...only I guess it has something to do with those clowns?"

"Good guess," Ukyo replaced her bakers peel over her back then smiled at
him brightly, "I'm glad you caught them.  They're part of a gang that
tried to rob a bank not too far from here, but I stopped them."

"Stopped them?" Akane reacted, "You mean you fought them off?"

"Sure thing, Sugar," Ukyo smiled, turning her attention back towards
Ranma, "So...what are you doing here, Ranchan?  Museums aren't necessarily
where I'd expect to find you.  Taking your studies to heart?"

"Ah...no," Ranma said somewhat awkwardly, "We were just checking something
out that Nabiki spotted.  Did you know that there are these really ancient
scrolls that have the Saotome Ryu on them?  Weird, huh?"

"Who is that?" Sophie murmured to Akane in a tone that sounded slightly
frosty.

"You don't want to know," Akane replied, giving the blonde a studied look
that as much as read aloud her suspicions.

"Really ancient?" Ukyo asked, "Like...how old is that?"

"Try twelve thousand years, Sugar," Nabiki replied, mimicking the
Okonomiyaki chef's favorite expression.

"Twelve...that's impossible!" Ukyo blurted.

"That's what I've been saying all along," griped Doctor Nadir, "The whole
idea that civilization could advance to the late classical period then
just disappear as if wiped off the face of the earth in a single
cataclysmic event...well, it just seems too damned religious for me.
Makes the whole idea of civilization itself seem like a pointless
exercise..."

"Except for indoor plumbing," Nabiki quipped, "That's one we still have
over those guys."

"Uh...what's this all about anyway?" Ukyo asked as she glanced around, for
the first time taking actual notice of their surroundings.

"You mean you didn't notice what the Exhibition was all about?" Akane
asked, "It was on the signs when you came inside the doors, right?"

"Ah...well," Ukyo said sheepishly, "I kind of had my mind on something
else..."

"Ah, think nothing of it, Ucchan," Ranma smiled, "It's all some big to do
about a lot of stuff that happened a long time ago.  Nothing we should get
upset about, right Pop?"

"Hmm?" Genma asked, having been leaning over a table, only to turn around
with a guilty look as if hiding something behind his back.

"Never mind," Ranma rolled his eyes, "I should have known better."

"Um, speaking of stuff," Ukyo glanced over one of the tables, taking note
of the artifacts before saying, "What does all of this mean?  You're
saying somebody found this and dated it back twelve thousand years?  Why
that's..."

"Older than the Pyramids," Sophie observed with a slightly condescending
smile, "Older than all the works of man combined.   History before there
was history, a whole uncharted era..."

"Between the ages when the Oceans drank Atlantis and the rise of the sons
of Aryas," Ukyo quoted, "Yeah, I've read something like that somewhere,
but I always thought it was just fantasy.  I never actually thought...I
mean...well..."

"Oh, I see," Nabiki smiled her trademark smug expression, "You can accept
the existence of magic and curses but the notion that there's an unknown
era to history is too much to take, right?"

"Magic?" Sophie asked, "You believe in magic?"

"Doesn't everybody?" sniffed Akane.

"How very odd," remarked the Professor, turning slightly to the side to
indicate the fallen work table, "We have a number of artifacts that seem
to have some sort of ritual magic purpose, including one item...oh dear."

That latter part was voiced as he took notice for the first time of the
numerous articles littering the floor while the two would-be bandits
groaned in semi-consciousness in the midst of the wreckage.

"Who are those hooligans?" Doctor Nadir asked, regarding the fallen
bandits.

"Like I said, a couple of guys who tried to rob a bank," Ukyo turned to
consider the fallen thugs, "I'd call the police and have them picked up if
I were you.  They're kind of dangerous, and they were carrying guns when
they did the hold up."

"Guns?" Ranma reacted with a sudden flash of heat, "Did they threaten you,
Ucchan?"

"Nothing I couldn't handle," Ukyo smiled, "But thanks for asking,
Ranchan."

"How did a couple of street punks like these get their hands on guns?"
Akane asked.

"I don't know," Ukyo shrugged, "But it didn't do them any good against me.
I'd search them just to be on the safe side, though."

"What a mess," Professor Halgarth said as he surveyed the floor, "It's
going to take us quite a while to sort everything out.  I certainly hope
nothing was broken..." all at once he stopped talking for one of the
hoodlums rose up just then and threw an arm around his neck, then produced
a switchblade with his other hand and held it up to the bearded man's
chin.

"Nobody move!" he angrily declared, "You let us go or the old man gets
it!"

"Father!" Sophie cried with alarm.

"Take it easy, son," Soun said, "You don't want to do that."

"Oh no?" the hoodlum sneered, "I've got the knife here, fucker!  Don't
mess with me or you'll see this guy bleed!"

"You can't talk to my father like that!" Akane growled.

"Shut up!" the hoodlum retorted, "Or you'll be next, Bitch!"

"Oh my," Kasumi said, "Such language..."

"What did you call me?" Akane glared, her eyes flaring with sudden anger.

"Shiro...?" the other gangster groaned as he forced himself into a
crouching position.

"Don't use names, stupid!" the hoodlum snarled, "Just get up and we'll get
out of here..."

"That wouldn't be a very good idea," said Genma.

"Oh?" the hoodlum sneered, "And why not?"

A hand closed on the hoodlum's arm just above the elbow.  Ranma squeezed
and the other man lost his grip on his knife, then his face contorted with
pain as he let go of the Professor, who collapsed to his knees, holding
his throat and coughing.

"Akane," Ranma said with deceptive calm, continuing to hold the now
pain-maddened thug with one hand as though the man was gripped in a vice,
"You wanna do the honors?"

"My pleasure!" Akane snarled, already glowing blue as her battle aura
flared to full life, her fist surrounded by a glow that made it almost
look like it formed a hammer, "Call me a Bitch will you?"

POW!

Ranma stepped back in time to recoil from the backwash of his iinazuke's
punch.  The hoodlum, on the other hand, went flying back into a far wall,
colliding there with bone jarring force before and creating a body-shaped
outline before slowly collapsing forward onto his face, by which point it
was a fortunate thing that he was already unconscious.

"Shiro?" the other hoodlum gasped before Ranma sent him into dreamland
with a kick that all but flipped him over.

"Father!" Sophie was already at the Professor's side tending to him as the
bearded man fought to regain his breath.

"Incredible!" Doctor Nadir remarked before turning to Akane, "That thing
you just did...glowing blue like that...how was it accomplished?"

"Huh?" Akane said in surprise, "Uh, well...it's called a battle aura, and
I guess you really don't have to think about it, it just comes on me when
it's needed..."

"I'll be all right, my dear," the Professor said as he accepted her help
in regaining his feet, then gave Ranma a more studious look before saying,
"It seems you have quite a number of interesting talents yourself, young
man.  That was an amazing display of your prowess, and I'm quite grateful
for your assistance."

"You see what I mean?" Nabiki smoothly stepped up to the plate again, "And
you haven't even seen a small fraction of what Saotome and his father can
do.  If those scrolls are as ancient as you say they are then it might do
you well to learn the full range of their potential."

"That's my boy," Genma said proudly, taking a step forward when his foot
encountered an object that drew his attention.  He bent down, seeing what
looked like a rod of some sort, which naturally he picked up to examine.
He could not help noticing that it had symbols and lettering, and that it
was partly jewel encrusted, which mainly drew his interest.

Ranma's next words were to take him completely by surprise, "No help from
you, old man."

"Eh?" Genma blinked, looking back up at his son with a puzzled expression.

"You heard me," Ranma glared, "You could have helped me out there instead
of just standing around being useless, like always."

"Son," Genma replied, "I thought I was helping by distracting the fellow.
You didn't really need my help to disable him..."

"I didn't need your help at all!" Ranma growled, "Stupid old man..."

"Boy," Genma frowned, "Who do you think it was that taught you how to move
like that?  I taught you everything I know..."

"But not everything I know," Ranma snorted before turning away with a
sullen expression.

"Son..." Genma said, sounding genuinely hurt.

"Leave me alone," Ranma growled, then marched off by himself leaving the
others to ponder his sudden mood swing.

Both Akane and Ukyo tracked his movements with their eyes, but both
swiveled their attention towards the girl named Sophie when she left her
father's side and said, "Wait...I wanted to thank you for rescuing my
father."

"Oh, no problem," Ranma told her, "It was my pleasure."

"You really are something," Sophie flashed a winning smile, "And so
handsome, and modest as well."

"Forget about it," Ranma said, "I'm just glad I could help...what?"

Sophie casually walked up to him and put her arms around his waist,
causing Ranma to freeze up like a statue as she smiled and said, "But I
owe you a reward, and it wouldn't be fair to deny you the kiss of a fair
maiden."

"A k-k-kiss?" Ranma gasped, only to lock up as the blonde brought her lips
up to his and followed through on her promise.

"Grrrrr..." Ukyo and Akane growled together, each glowing blue as they
turned angry glares at both Sophie and Ranma.

"Remarkable," said Doctor Nadir as he studied their battle auras.

"Saotome, what is the meaning of this!?!" demanded Soun as he broke the
stunned silence following the Blonde's dramatic gesture.

"Hmmm?" Genma blinked, looking up from the object he was turning over in
his hands, "Oh, well...you know how it is with the boy, Tendo-kun,
irresistible to women and all of that..."

"Is this how you raise your son to behave?" Soun glared at his old friend.

"Now Tendo," Genma said patiently, "Be fair.  Remember how it was with us
when we were both so much younger?  Ah...the troubles we had before our
bachelor days were finally ended..."

"Very true," Soun sobered, "I suppose you're right...but it's wrong for
him to upset Akane.  After all, they are getting married in another few
months..."

"Says who?" Ukyo suddenly growled, unable to stand it any more as she
turned her glare upon the father of her rival, "Has Ranma actually
declared that he's going to go through with it this time?  What right have
you two to be making plans with his life?  Ranchan should be the one to
decide who he'll marry, even it if isn't me or Akane!"

"Ukyo..." Genma started to say, only to receive her glare, which caused
him to fall silent.

"Shut up, you Jackass!" Ukyo snarled, "It's all your fault my life was
turned upside down when you left me behind and fixed Ranma up with Akane!
You took my livelihood and left me with nothing!  You made a promise to my
father then reneged, so what right have you got to even look at me, you
Yatai-snatcher!"

She whirled around and stormed out of the room in an angry huff, fighting
hard not to show tears as the misery of her life swallowed up on her.
There was only a slight hesitation before Ranma called out, "Hey, wait
up--Ucchan!"

"Oh my," said Sophie, "Did I cause a scene?  I didn't mean to do that..."

"Oh, let her go," Akane shrugged, "She's got personal problems she needs
to work out.  Let me talk to her and I'll try and see if she'll listen."

Akane walked out of the room while Ranma stood where he was.  Sophie
glanced at his profile and asked, "Relationship problems?"

"You don't want to know," Nabiki cautioned, "Just leave it at that."

"It's all your fault!" Ranma snapped at his father, "Stupid old man, bad
enough you make a mess of my life, but did you have to do the same thing
to Ucchan?"

"Son..." Genma tried to say, but Ranma turned around and stormed out of
the room.

"Oboy," Nabiki sighed, turning to the two researchers, "I'm sorry you both
had to see that..."

"Oh, not at all," the Professor remarked, "We fully understand."

"We had father too, you know," Doctor Nadir informed them.

Genma was hardly listening as he stood where he was, still holding onto
the rod-like object.  On impulse he turned and followed on the trail of
his departing son while the Professor suddenly took note of the object and
said, "Hey!  You'd better put that back!  We haven't even started
cataloguing it yet and we don't know it's function or purpose..."

"Oh, he'll be back," Nabiki assured them, crossing her fingers behind her
back, "He just needs some quality time with Ranma.  Now...about my
proposal..."

"Son!" Genma called out as he quickened his pace, seeing Ranma halt in the
middle of the adjoining display chamber, "Wait boy, I want to talk with
you..."

"That's a laugh," Ranma snorted, "You...just talking.  As if you'd ever
try listening for a change, but no--you're too damned selfish for that!"

"Ranma," Genma replied, "I know you're upset with me, boy, only what it is
I'm supposed to have done that was so bad I don't know..."

"You want a list?" Ranma rounded on him and glared with heat at his
father, "Try taking me away from Mom for ten years, making me sign that
stupid contract, dragging me around from one end of Japan to the other,
never allowing me to have any permanent ties with anybody, and then--to
top it all off--you take me to China and we get cursed together!  Real
bonding there, Pop, girl to panda!"

"You're not blaming me for all of it, are you boy?" Genma asked.

"Why not?" Ranma snarled, "Right after Jusenkyo we wound up stopping at
Joketsuzoku, and we both know how that turned out, right?" his snort of
derision showed a contempt he had never displayed before his father until
that moment, "Because of you I've got all these women who want to marry me
, and I can only choose one of them!  You decided for me that it was gonna
be Akane without once considering how I feel, and I've tried real hard to
make it work and all!  Akane can be nice at times, but lately...I just
can't help thinking about what you did to Ucchan!  Did you ever once
consider her feelings when you made that deal with her old man, or was it
just your stomach talking?  You engaged her to me even though you'd
promised the same thing to Mister Tendo!"

"But hasn't it worked out in the end, boy?" Genma asked, "You may huff and
complain about it, but I know you really do care about Akane..."

"Oh sure," Ranma snorted, "Just like she cares about me, but is that
enough for us to have a relationship?  I used to think it could be, now
I'm starting to wonder!  Ukyo's got every right to be mad at us both, and
I think maybe she deserves something more than just a heave ho, and a
'seeya!'  She was my best friend when we were kids together, but some
friend I turned out to be!  All I seem to do these days is either made her
cry or cause her to get angry!"

"You really should tell her once and for all that you can't marry her,
son," Genma replied, "It's wrong to lead her on the way you do...believe
me, I know that from experience..."

"Do you?" Ranma all but shouted in his father's face, "Then how can you
just stand there and tell me to lie to her as if she means nothing?  She
gave up ten years of her life to follow me, for revenge or whatever, and I
think maybe I do owe her something for that.  I don't really know how I
feel about her, but I sure as hell won't treat her like she's garbage!"

"Boy..." Genma started to say, but the vehemence in Ranma's tone silenced
him.

"Shut up!!!" Ranma all but shouted, "You think you're so smart because you
taught me the basics of Martial Arts?  You used me as a tool to make me
into something you wanted yourself to be!  I'm just a reflection of your
ambitions, isn't that what's really all behind it?  I look good and it
means you're a good father and a good teacher?  Well, I've got news for
you--YOU STINK!"

"Son..." Genma flinched, backing away a half step.

"You're the worst father who's ever lived!" Ranma took an equal step
forward to maintain their nearness, "You think only of yourself, you heat
like a hog, you have no consideration for anybody's feelings but yourself,
and you've been trying to make me exactly like you!  Well, I'm not like
you, old man!  I don't want to be like you, I don't even want to be seen
in public with you!  You stink as a parent, and if it hadn't been for you
I'd have grown up with my mother and probably never had to go through all
the crap you've put me through!"

"But..." Genma continued to back away.

"I've had it up to here with your excuses and your always backing out on
me whenever I really need you!" Ranma was all but shouting, "You've ruined
my life trying to make me something you want for yourself, and all I ever
wanted from you was somebody I could look up to and respect.  Some role
model you are!  You don't even have the guts to apologize to Ukyo or me
for being such a rotten coward!"

As Ranma said this last bit he tapped his father on the chest with a
finger, unbalancing the older man, who had been in the process of backing
away.  Genma lost his balance and fell backward, crashing into a display
case and inadvertently striking the rod against the floor.

Without warning it suddenly flared to life, the jewels set in the metal
surface glowing brightly as if it had been mysteriously awaken.  Genma's
eyes went wide as he stared at the thing in his hand, too shocked to even
think of letting go, and all at once the room was bathed in crimson
radiance.

"Pop?" Ranma halted in his advance, seeing his father suddenly surrounded
in the glow created by the artifact in Genma's hand.  As Ranma hesitated
something very strange happened, and all at once his father vanished.

"Pop?" Ranma gasped, seeing the glow remain around his father's fading
outline.

"What's going on here?" he heard Akane ask.

"What happened, Ranchan?" Ukyo also chorused.

"That's what I'd like to know," said Nabiki as she came into the chamber,
then they all stared at the space where Saotome Genma had vanished.

"Pop!" Ranma cried out, when all at once the glow expanded, then winked
out of existence...



10,570 BC:

The world was a swirl of sensations and colors beyond anything Genma had
ever experienced or even imagined.  He was tumbling through a void, bereft
of sense and reason, when all at once his voyage ended as abruptly as it
had started.  The world righted itself out again, and then he saw blue sky
above him...which naturally meant that the earth beneath him was also to
shortly make its presence known with a thump across his broad backside.

Genma lay where he was, still clutching the rod in one hand, staring
around at empty sky that held a few stray clouds but was otherwise
uneventful.  His heart was still beating in his chest and his moment of
panic ended once he had determined that he still drew breath.  It did not
look like the afterlife, so it was natural to assume that something else
had happened besides a terminal event.

The question of where he was came automatically to his mind.  It didn't
occur to him to ask when as he slowly sat up to take stock of his
bearings, realizing almost instantly that the land around him was not
Japan but someplace...elsewhere.

Genma slowly got his feet back under him as he looked around, trying to
gather his bearings, feeling almost like Ryoga on one of the lost boy's
perpetual training missions and hoping he could find his way back to Japan
very shortly.

It was only after a moment of looking around that he felt totally lost,
and then he heard a sound like the screeching of a large wheel and decided
to investigate.  He followed his instinct and rose up to a small hill,
shading his eyes as he gazed down at a sight that took him by surprise and
made him gape with amazement.

The object looked like a large mill wheel, the kind that once was used in
ancient days to grind grain into flour using draft animals to pull a heavy
beam.  The wheel was being pulled all right, but by a single boy who
looked no more than ten or eleven years of age, chained to the beam that
he was steadily pushing with relentless energy, his feet digging into a
deep rut that had clearly been made over a long time of continuous usage.

The boy was obviously a child laborer being abused by the fellow Genma
spotted sitting nearby to the wheel casually cooking a dinner over an open
pit fire.  The guard wore some manner of leather armor and had primitive
weapons set to one side that looked nonetheless effective and deadly.  He
paid no attention at all to the boy, intent on his next meal to the
exclusion of all else.  His attitude was both bored and indifferent, and
since he was upwind of Genma he could not detect his presence.

Genma took stock of the situation, reckoning the isolation and extreme
heat that was causing the boy to perspire all over.  The sight rent
Genma's heart and aroused an unusual sensation that in another man might
have been pity.  More significant, however, was the smell of the roasting
meat that Genma caught a whiff of, reminding him that he was still
enormously hungry.  It took less than a second to decide on a course of
action, and then Genma burst from concealment and rushed at the man,
crying loudly like a demon in the hopes that it would give him a
psychological advantage.

The guard reacted to the sudden appearance of a man in a faded white gi
rushing at him with considerable surprise, hesitating a crucial few
seconds before reaching for a weapon to defend himself.  It was all over
in a matter of seconds as Genma flattered the man, knocking him out cold
before sliding off of him in order to examine his prized catch.  The
roasted meat smelled twice as good from close proximity, so Genma wasted
no time removing it from the fire, borrowing a belt-knife off of his
defeated foe before ripping up huge chunks of beef in order that he could
gorge himself to his heart's content.

It was several minutes (and half a roast) later that Genma took notice of
the fact that the boy was no longer pushing his harness.  Instead he was
standing amid the rut he had carved and was looking at Genma with a
stoical expression.  His face neither pleaded nor betrayed any emotion as
he just stood his ground and continued to study Genma without comment.

There was something in the boy's piercing blue stare that drew Genma's
attention.  For a moment...just an instant...he thought that it might be
Ranma, but reason forced him to abandon that notion as he instead paid
real attention to the stranger before finally deciding on a course of
action.

Genma rose and the boy seemed to flinch a little as if expecting to
receive harsh treatment.  Instead Genma approached cautiously, having also
"borrowed" the keys off of a guard and taking special notice of the lock
holding the boy firmly chained to the log-sized turning beam.  He spoke
soothing words to the boy as if expecting him to behave like any wild
animal confronted by a human.


Conan 1/2

By
Jim Robert Bader

(Based on the works of Rumiko Takahashi and Robert E. Howard)



"Know, O' Prince, in the days after the fall of Atlantis and before the
rise of the Sons of Aryas, there lived an epic time when shining Kingdoms
lay spread across the world like dinner plates at a Bar Mitzvah...

"And to this time there came Conan, a Cimmerian, with sword in hand and
eyes like sapphire... A thief, a reaver, a slayer of men (and a
quick-change artist on the side)...and with him came the flame-haired
Warrior Maiden named Sonya the Red, (though never did mortal eye see one
at the side of the other) to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth like
bamboo poles over the cursed Springs of Yojimbo..."



Two men rode into town, one oddly dressed in a coarse brown robe that
looked as travel-worn as the man himself.  The other man was huge and
burly with muscles that were as large as melons, and a face both oddly
noble and handsome, in a craggy, bashed-one-time-too-many-in-the-face kind
of sense.  The man is wearing a leather harness with loin cloth and boots
and carries a huge sword slung across his shoulders.  They top by an in
and tie their horses to a post before entering a tavern in search of wine
and a meal.

"I don't want to hear about it, old man," the burly man growls over his
shoulder, "It was your fault we had to beat it out of there so soon.
Didn't you know Amazons get testy when you try and eat their dinner
without asking?"

"I thought it was because you defeated their Queen that they were chasing
us halfway to the border of Zingara," the older man with the glasses
replied, "At least we should have enough gold left to buy us both some
dinner."

"Barely," the burly man said as he glanced around the room and met the
glare of dozens of rough-hewn characters, not to mention at least two
comely bar-maids, "Just remember we may want to pass through these parts
again, so try not to start up anything, Pops."

"I'm surprised at you, boy," Genma chided, "Haven't I always looked out
for your welfare..."

"Don't get me started," Conan growled in a murderous undertone as they
found an empty table (or rather emptied it by picking up one stool and
dumping the inebriated occupants on the floor), "At least it didn't rain
this time.  The last thing I want to put up with his hairy paws and
questions about why I'm sitting alone with a Panda."

"Just remember to be on your best manners, boy, when we go to visit my
friend Saphir," Genma said as he took his seat opposite from his adopted
son, "He's always been a good friend to both of us, and you wouldn't want
to upset his lovely daughters."

"I haven't seen Saphir of Zingar since I was barely ten," Conan grunted,
"All I remember of that visit was a tent that smelled of Camel dung and
three semi-clad urchins running around in silks, the youngest of which
dumped a bucket of slop on me for no reason I can remember."

"She was just being affectionate, boy," Genma said, "Haven't I always told
you not to take women for granted?  They usually say one thing but mean
another."

"I don't know why I ever listen to you, Pop," Conan growled, "Like all
those stories you used to tell me about your first son and his
problems...now here I'm stuck in the same mess, and I hope you're happy
about it."

"Okay, so maybe I did make a mistake about those training grounds," Genma
allowed, "But I thought Jusenkyo only existed in my time.  How was I to
know Kithai had it's own Cursed Springs?  I mean, what are the odds?"

Conan was about to say something very snide about that when a passing
patron got jostled by one of his fellows and accidentally spilled the
contents of his mug on the burly Cimmerian.  Conan uttered an oath and his
voice was suddenly of a higher pitch as she snarled, "What did you do that
for?  Now I smell like a brewery!"

"Oh sorry," the burly man hovering over her replied, then got a better
look from his angle and started to grin and drool at one and the same
time, "Hey, not too bad looking, cutie!  Want to snuggle up to a real man
at my table...?"

That was all he remembered saying before the redhead leaped to her feet
and drove his chin into the ceiling.

"No thanks!" the transformed Conan growled, "I don't date outside my
species!"

"Hey!" another man growled, "You can't do that to our buddy!"

"The wench just bought herself a world of pain," another man grunted as
other men began to circle around their table.

"Just great," Conan growled, "This is another thing I owe you for, Pops."

"Whose idea was it to jump into that pool to rescue that drowning girl?"
Genma asked without much concern or guilt in his voice, "Just remember..."

"I know," Conan growled as she cracked her knuckles while sizing up her
would-be attackers, "I promise I'll leave the Inn standing and only do a
minimum of property damage.  Other than that, all bets are off!"

"Consider it a part of your training," Genma replied before signaling to a
waitress that he wanted some boiling water without being too specific on
the details...


"At last!" Saphir of Zingara said with joy as he read the scroll in his
hands over and over, which was easy to do since it had only a very terse
message written in badly printed Zingarese, "After all this time!  Conan
is returning!  My daughters, to your father's side at once!  Kasandra,
Niagara, Akavashi, please hasten like the hot winds of the deserts, my
lovely oasis blossoms!"
He clapped his hands, causing his oldest child to look up from where she
had been busy arranging flowers from their garden.  Niagara looked up from
where she had been counting strung beads, while there was no sign at all
of his youngest child, Akavashi.

"What is it, father?" Kasandra asked as she knelt at the side of the
pillowed divan upon which her father was reclined.

"Why'd you summon us, Daddy?" Niagara asked as she rolled up her accounts
scroll (upon which a considerable sum of dinars was carefully tabulated).

"I will explain it all to you soon enough," Saphir looked around then
sighed, "Where is Akavashi?"

"Out in the practice yard, as usual," Niagara got to her feet and sighed,
"I'll get her, Daddy."

"That girl," Saphir sighed, "How does she ever plan to pick up a man when
she scares off every one I attempt to introduce her to?"

"I'm sure she's just waiting to meet the right one, father," Kasandra said
pleasantly, "She's really a very sweet girl, she just feels the need to
protect herself because of those boys who always pick on her in the
market."

"That," Saphir grumbled, "Is something else I've been meaning to mention.
The parents of those boys she has been beating up are starting to complain
that my daughter has bewitched them, and that one boy...what was his name
again?  The one who keeps saying he'll eventually own her..."

"Konaro," Kasandra replied, "He's a very nice boy for the son of a
Chieftain, but he does get a bit too persistent, and I really don't think
Akavashi is ready to settle down yet."

"The girl is of age," Saphir snorted, "You all are!  I did not raise my
girls to be old maids by the age of twenty, which brings me to the point
for why I want you all gathered here.  A very old friend of mine is
bringing his son to our house and I want you all to meet him, especially
you, my daughter."

"His son?" Kasandra asked, suddenly feeling very strange, as though her
mother's gift were warning her of what was about to happen...


"Hiyaaa!" Akavashi cried as she chopped the wooden practice dummy in half
with one sweep of her long curved sword.

"Not bad," Niagara commented from the edge of the practice circle, "If you
ever get attacked by a straw dummy I'm sure you'll be ready to defend
yourself."

"What do you want, sister?" Akavashi growled as she raised her sword in
salute to her defeated opponent.

"Now what I want," Niagara corrected, "It's Daddy who wants us in the
house right now.  He says he's got something he wants to tell us."

"Not another guy he wants to pair us up with?" Akavashi growled as she
sheathed her sword with an angry motion, "I swear if I see one more guy
who thinks he can own me..."

"Excuse me," a pleasant voice said, "I was wondering...is this the house
of Saphir of Zingara?"

The two sisters turned to see a redheaded woman standing before them
wearing a leather harness that seemed oddly large on her otherwise
well-shaped frame, clearly a warrior to judge by the sword she carried
slung across her back.  What surprised Akavashi and Niagara, however, was
the large bear with the odd black-and-white markings that the girl was
holding at arms length as though trying to prevent his escape.  The girl
did not seem to have any trouble holding the bear back from attempted
flight and just looked at the two sisters as if there were nothing unusual
about this.

"Uh, yeah, this is the House of Saphir of Zingara," Niagara replied, "Why
do you want to know?"

The girl looked at her oddly, then smiled, "Is that you, Niagara?  Thought
I recognized that sneaky face from somewhere, and you must be little
Akavashi all grown up and playing with your father's things."

"And who the Hell are you?" Akavashi demanded.

The girl let the bear go and folded her arms over her chest, "You wouldn't
recognize me, but the name's Conan of Cimmerian.  Haven't seen the two of
you for at least ten seasons, but Pops here thought it was important we
stop by for a visit.  Right Pop?  Hey!  Where do you think you're going,
old man?  Come back here!"

"Uh," Niagara saw the bear heading on two legs for the house and said, "Is
he tame or wild?"

"Matter of opinion," the redhead growled, "He's mostly harmless, though,
so you don't need to worry that he'll try and eat somebody.  He just needs
to find some hot water.  Matter of fact, I could use some myself."

"Oh," Niagara seemed to take that in stride, then said, "Well, I'll go
tell Daddy we've got company, and Kasandra can heat up a bath if you want
to freshen up."

"I'd appreciate it," Conan replied, "You've got no idea what kind of a day
I've been having.  First the Tavern, then somebody emptied a chamber pot,
and then there was the horse trough I got knocked into...I mean, what are
the odds of getting wet in the middle of this forsaken desert?"

Akavashi looked at the stranger coldly then smiled, "You don't like
Zingara very much, huh?  How good are you with that sword you've got
there?"

"Good enough," Conan replied, "Who's asking?"

"How would you like to practice spar with me?" Akavashi drew her sword,
"Just for old times sake...Conan you say?"

"That's right," Niagara frowned, "Weren't you that scruffy kid that was
always picking fights with Akavashi?  I thought you were a boy back
then..."

"Things change," Conan shrugged then added, "I don't like to fight with
women, but I suppose it wouldn't hurt to spar."

She drew her long sword and the two of them squared off together while
Niagara studied them both with a look of calculation.  Something in the
other girl's manner made her sense that this was a true warrior her sister
was facing and that the outcome was certainly not going to be the usual
rout Akavashi was used to enjoying.  This gave Niagara an idea, and much
cause to smile, for it involved making some money on the side, which was
always a good way to brighten up her mornings...


"Oh my," Kasandra said in some alarm as she discovered the bear in her
kitchen heating up the pot of water over the fire.

The bear calmly ignored her as it tipped the pot over its head, and
suddenly he was not a bear any more, which caused Kasandra to breathe a
faint, "Oh my" as she sensed sorcery in operation...


"The Cursed Springs of Yojimbo?" Saphir was saying as Akavashi, Niagara
and the strange redheaded warrior named Conan entered the main living
quarters of the House, "You don't say?  That makes everything suddenly
quite understandable..."

"Ah," Genma nodded to the new arrivals, "And these must be your others
daughters, Akavashi and Niagara."

"Oh my," said Kasandra as she spotted the redhead, "We have another guest?
I had better fetch some more bread, cheese and wine.  Do you like goats
milk?"

"Ah yeah," Conan shrugged, looking somewhat uncomfortable as she murmured,
"Actually, I love it, but don't tell anybody, okay?"

"What, afraid of your reputation?" Akavashi grinned, "Don't worry, we'll
just settle for the pleasure of your company."

"Ugh, not without that bath we won't," Niagara made a point of holding her
nose, "I'll go see if it's ready.  If not, I'll heat the coals myself."

"Why, how nice of you, sister," Kasandra said, "And you're not even
charging for the extra service."

"Uh, yeah, right," Niagara said as she hid the gold piece that Conan had
just slipped her down her bodice, "Just let us know when you're ready to
let us in on the big mystery, Daddy."

"But of course," Saphir indicated the man sitting across from him, "This
is a very good friend of mine named Saotome Genma, from a distant land
called Nippon, which is said to be somewhere beyond the lands of Kitai..."

"Beyond Kitai?" Akavashi blinked, "But that puts it near to the edge of
the world!  Are you sure there's anything beyond that?"

"Trust me, there is," Genma said gravely, "But we like to think our
country is close to where the sun rises every morning, so I suppose you
could call it the edge of the world in some sense."

"Some days I wish I could send you there myself, old man," Conan growled,
"Since meeting you my life's been one of constant training."

"Training in what?" Akavashi asked him.

"Conan has been training to be the best fighter in the world," Genma
replied, "Not just in Swordplay but in hand-to-hand skill.  We call our
studies Musubetsu Kakuto Ryu, which translates as 'Anything Goes' in your
language.  Young Conan here is a warrior without peer..."

"In spite of her being a woman?" Kasandra asked brightly.

"You have no idea, girl," Conan shook her red head sadly, then glared at
Genma, who squirmed a little under his charge's withering scrutiny.

"Bath's ready," Niagara announced as she returned, "It's a bit on the hot
side..."

"No problem," Conan grunted as she turned around and said, "I'll be back
in a minute.  Pops was just about to let you all in on our little secret."

"Secret?" Akavashi asked as she watched the redhead retreat into the next
room, then turned back to the stranger with her own questioning
expression.

"Um, it can wait," Genma hesitated, "So...did you and Conan spar for a
bit?"

"Sure did," Niagara gave her sister an amused look and said, "She kicked
Akavashi's rear in less than twenty heartbeats."

"Hey!" Akavashi protested, "She wasn't really fighting me!"

"That's why you lasted so long," Niagara smiled condescendingly,
"Otherwise she'd have beat you in only seven heartbeats."

"Conan is a fine warrior," Genma replied, "But he's just a bit reluctant
to go all out against women..."

"He?" Kasandra said in confusion, "But Conan is a girl..."

"Ah, that's the thing I've been meaning to tell all of you," Genma
replied, "Do you remember that Panda you saw when we first arrived at your
house?"

"Panda?" Akavashi said, "You mean the bear?  Whatever happened to him?  Is
he still around somewhere..."

"Um, actually," Genma replied, "The truth is that I..."

"Crom!  That is hot!" cried a voice from the other room, which startled
everyone as it was distinctively masculine and deep as a barrel.

"Who was that?" Niagara asked.

"We've got an intruder in our home!" Akavashi drew her sword, "It had
better not be one of those local bullies trying to sneak up on me!  I'll
bet he's bothering Conan!'

"Um, actually what I mean to say...!" Genma tried to call out in warning,
but Akavashi was already rushing to the assistance of  her recent sparring
partner.  He winced a few seconds later when the scream of dismay emanated
from the background, and he murmured softly, "History precedes itself
again..."

Akavashi came running back into the room, her face pale and drawn as she
cried, "There's a Naked Man in the bathtub, and he's a real giant!"

"A giant?" Kasandra asked, "This far south of the Borderlands?"

"Let me see," Niagara asked, taking a step forwards, but Akavashi
prevented her by stepping into her path.
"No, it's too dangerous!" Akavashi cried, "He's as big a mule!"

"So?" Niagara asked, "You're the warrior in the family.  Why didn't you
make him leave?"

"I got scared is why!" Akavashi admitted, "You didn't see the size of
his...I mean...he's enormous!"

"Thank you for the compliment," said a slightly soggy figure who appeared
in the corridor clutching a towel around his waist, "But you could try
knocking first before you walk in on somebody's bath."

Everyone in the room just gaped, save only for Genma, who sighed and said,
"I did try to warn you..."

"Who are you?" Niagara asked as she looked the stranger up and down with a
very appreciative expression.

"I'm Conan of Cimmeria," the burly giant replied with an apologetic nod,
"Sorry about this..."